《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Dream Castle》Chapter 12: A Strange Entry Exam
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The loud clank of a sword hitting the wooden stage interrupted Mena’s moment of joy. The captain with his bushy mustache blocked the anchor—their only method of escape, or so it seemed. “I don’t know who you are,” the knight said, “But that witch is now property of his highness.”
“Excuse me,” said the robed man, puffing out his thin, but toned chest. “Where does it indicate on this young girl that she’s the possession of the king? If I do recall correctly, people aren’t possessions.”
Mena blushed and hid her face. She never had a dashing (if strange) man come to her defense before.
“In fact,” the knight said, proud he knew something the robed man did not. “In ordinance with Royal Decree #610: All spellcasters within his majesty’s region are punishable for their cursed magical heritage with death.”
The mysterious man rose his arms, and stood firm, even with his adversary towering over him.
“Where’s she’s going,” the robed man said, sounding agitated rather than jovial for once. “Your wacky laws have no jurisdiction. Now if you would kindly step aside. You’re blocking the sunlight with your passe existence.”
The knight responded with a sword leveled at the man’s throat, but he quickly leapt back, prancing lightly for someone wearing heels. “And for your offense against the king,” the captain roared. “You and your witch accomplice will die at the hands of my sword.”
Mena gasped, but the robed man placed his hand on her shoulder and said, “I’ll take care of this.”
She gave him a gentle smile and looked away again, sighing. Her savior in high heels.
The knight captain screamed, his arms holding his sword level with his head as he charged forward, but again, the robed man pranced out of the way like a playful imp. Every time the captain swung his sword, the man bent left and right, his feet seemingly dancing on air. “Stop prancing!” The knight captain exclaimed. “And fight me like a real man!”
The robed man stuck out his tongue and chortled. “I’m a real boy! I’m not made out of wood, knighty! Well, most of me anyway!”
The robed man gave a mischievous smile and lifted a hand like a marionette string. “Let me see what’s deep inside you. Give me the vision of the Transparent Dream.”
A strange, purple translucent bubble arose from the captain’s head and Mena gasped loudly. Mena could see a human brain pulsating within in it, and as the robed man focused in deeper, he moved in towards a part that resembled a grey seahorse. Was Mena the only person seeing this? Nobody else seemed to be reacting. “Let me see deeper…deeper into the hippocampus,” the man chanted.
They went deeper and suddenly; they could see the captain at what appeared to be the knight training academy. He stood proudly on the stage in front of a line of cadets and was giving a speech when his armor abruptly dropped off leaving him in nothing but his underwear. He turned an embarrassing shade of red and covered up his body, running off stage while everyone laughed.
“Is it really that simple?” the robed man muttered to himself. “Come on, that’s what everyone’s afraid of.”
“Time to finish you!” the knight captain said, screaming and charging at the robed man.
Mena cried out. “No! Please! Don’t!” She screamed and closed her eyes as she heard slashing, but when she opened her eyes, the robed man had whipped out a blade himself—one that glowed bright white and resembled a bolt of lightning.
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He had already slashed the knight’s breast plate too it seemed. It loosened and clattered to the floor and the whole town of Growden, Mena, Straw-Woman and even the mud faced king gasped.
As the breast plate dropped to the floor, the knight captain’s exposed chest was smooth and hairless. There were golden tassels with strings hanging from his nipples and at the dead-center of his chest was a pink heart with an arrow through it. With a golden crown topping it, the heart tattoo read, “Victoria x Sir Stephen 4 ever.”
The captain’s face turned pale, and he took a step backward. “No…no….no.”
People started laughing despite what was happening on the stage. It was quite a sight to see what lingered beneath the manly knight captain’s armor. Even Mena giggled.
“What’s wrong?” the robed man asked. “Is this reminiscent of something? Your worst nightmare perhaps!”
The knight backed away further and further until he bumped into the fat muddy king who stood angerly before him. “Stephen, why do you have my wife’s name on your chest?!” the king growled looking like a furious bullfrog.
“Sire, it’s not what you think!”
“Leroy,” the king said. “Scepter please!”
Leroy the page handed King Budaludicus a brass scepter and he jumped forward, attacking the captain with it. The two quarreled on the steps and fell into the pile of mud again. The robed man bowed. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced. “A true patriot for his queen and country. The pain he endures for them most men couldn’t fathom.”
As the robed man grinned and held out his hands like an entertainer, Mena cheered loudly. Straw-Woman did too. Then Mena’s eyes sparkled mischievously. Who knew there was a royal tryst going on between the king, his wife and his trusted captain? It was like something out of one of her naughtier stories.
“Now if you would kindly accompany me,” the robed man said. “We can begin our journey into your wildest dreams.”
“Would I ever,” Mena said, taking his extended hand.
The three of them hopped onto the anchor, and before they lifted off, Mena saw Deidre and Lol Pops smiling and waving at them in the audience. Deidre was particularly ecstatic. “Mena! I’m so proud of y’all! Go up there and be the best witch you can be!”
“I will,” Mena said, tears lining her eyes.
“I’ll always consider you family,” Deidre said, her face radiant with love. “Even when you’re far away!” She blew a kiss to Mena and Mena blew one right back.
The robed man snapped his fingers and the anchor lifted into the sky. As Mena wiped her tears away, she looked gratefully at the robed man. He saved her life; the least she could do was ask him a simple question.
“Um, what’s your name?”
“Gemini, at your service,” the man said with a playful wink. “Current headmaster at the Nightdream Academy and Clown Prince of Dreams.”
As his dark hair blew wistfully in the air, Mena giggled and muttered. “You can be the prince of my dreams any day.”
“What was that?” Gemini asked with an ever-knowing tilt of his head.
“Uh nothing,” Mena said, her cheeks red. She snorted with laugher and quickly covered her nose, blushing furiously.
Calming herself down, Mena changed the subject. “Uh how did you see into Sir Stephen’s head?”
“Oh ho,” Gemini said, raising an eyebrow. “You saw that did you? My my, Phenomena, you’ve already impressed me and we haven’t even entered the school yet.”
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“Um…is that special?” Mena asked.
“Most grounders don’t even know of the existence of dream divination much less seeing the actual bubbles from someone’s head.”
Suddenly, Gemini had a hungry look in his eyes and he leaned in towards Mena in a way that was less becoming. Her rainbow eyes changed to an envious shade of green. “What’s your secret?! Someone must have let you in on it.”
“Uh no,” Mena said, feeling a bit flustered. “I guess it was from all the daydreaming. I do that a lot when I’m not reading.”
“Mena, should I call someone?” Straw-Woman said as Gemini stared at her with a strangely roused fascination.
“What?! No!” Mena exclaimed raising her hands, feeling even more embarrassed and she changed the subject. “This anchor sure is taking a long time to get up to the castle.”
“My my,” Gemini said, coyly holding his hand to his face. “You’re right.” And with a devilish grin, he snapped his fingers and the anchor launched into the sky like it was shot from a vertical cannon.
As the buildings and crowds of Growden became nothing more than a tiny town of fleas, Mena clung to the soaring anchor as it catapulted through the air. “Me and my big mouth!” she screamed as Straw-Woman cheered
The Dream Castle grew bigger and bigger until the anchor became level with a grassy courtyard. Gemini snapped a finger and it stopped midair. “Ladies, we’ve arrived.”
Gemini stepped off onto the grass, and Straw-Woman hopped down, but Mena’s brain still felt like it was spiraling in her head. She laughed nervously and clung to the anchor like an agitated cat with its hair standing up.
“Oh, I should have warned you,” Gemini said, laughing to himself. “There’s a bit of whiplash riding this thing,”
Once again, Gemini extended a gallant hand and Mena, and though she was frazzled, she took it, and planted her feet firmly on the ground. She looked up. The world was no longer spinning, and she could admire the wonderfully bizarre castle up close with its ever swirling red, yellow and blue spirals. The black dot pupils of the white windows looked down at her like a benevolent giant. It was like something out of a dream, and of course, it was.
“Miraculous magicaps,” Mena exclaimed. “I can’t believe I’m here.”
Gemini walked up to the front of the castle and raised his arms dramatically. “Welcome to our world, Mena. You’ll find we’re a lot more accommodating here to people like you…. but…”
Gemini turned around with a half-serious, half mischievous expression. “But remember. There are no limits up here. The improbable is quite possible. So do me a favor…”
“What is it?” Mena asked, so curious that question marks could dot her eyes.
“I want you to forget everything you knew about life down on the ground. In this castle, we embrace dream logic, which is little to none at all!”
Mena nodded, her heart pounding hard, feeling both excited and nervous.
Gemini snapped his fingers and the enormous red, tongue-like doors opened and what Mena saw was a world like no other.
The interior of the castle was a pale bluish-white—the color of frozen ice crystals. Everything from the floor tiles to the elegantly designed staircases to the moldings above the doors were regally frosted white. Despite the icy color, everything was as warm and breezy as a mid-summer day. The central foyer was heart shaped with two staircases curving over a large door with a silver-with-red-dots metal ladybug above it. The stairs led to a second floor that was lined with white doors with yellow knobs. As Mena walked inside, she realized there was no ceiling but rather an open sky filled with translucent clouds. At the very top was what looked like an enormous golden sundial floating in a circle above them. It had three hands, each pointed in different directions. She could hardly think of what to ask Gemini about first, and she wordlessly pointed up.
“Oh that old thing?” Gemini said. “The great founders of this Magicademy put it up there. It’s called the Dais of Eternity. Supposedly when the hands meet there’s going to be an enormous fiesta in the cosmos, complete with bedlam raining down on all of us. Wheels of fire singing the apocalpyso, the great war of cats and dogs ending in a peace treaty and a multitude of frogs backing up every toilet in the kingdoms. All that end-of-the-world jazz…"
Mena’s eyes expanded with great concern and Gemini scoffed. “That old thing hasn’t budged in eons. You’re more likely to get struck by lightning from the clouds up there.”
Mena breathed out a sigh of relief and pointed to the ladybug above the door.
“Oh, that’s merely the Ladybug Transistor. It helps us locate young spellcasters in need down on the ground.”
Gemini gave Mena a side eye. “Strangely enough, it wasn’t required to find you… but anyway, perhaps it’s time to get you some grub. Follow me.”
The Clown Prince of Dreams paraded through the central door. It led Mena and Straw-Woman to a sloped, paneled hallway. Each panel in the floor was divided by a large thick line and they traveled upwards until they reached the door to the next room. As they followed the Clown Prince, the floor suddenly rumbled, and without warning, gave out beneath Straw-Woman. Gemini flipped out of the way, somersaulting up to the top of the slope as half the panels in the floor plummeted down to the world below. Mena quickly grabbed Straw-Woman, by her pigtail and with a groan, lifted her back up. They tumbled backwards on top of each other, and Mena screamed, “Hey what gives!”
Gemini chuckled from his safe perch. “What gives is your first real test! Pass it, and you’ll be welcoming into the Academy of Dreams with open arms.”
“B-b-but,” Mena stuttered. There was enough space between the remaining floor panels to leap the first few gaps but afterwards, they grew wider and wider. And below was the very ground and village that she fled from. “But how can I do this? This is impossible!”
Gemini turned indignant and crossed his arms. “If you can’t reach me, you’ll never make it in my Magicademy, witchy-poo. Perhaps you should have considered baking bread as an alternative career before you went and destroyed the bakery!”
Mena grimaced. The bakery comment was a low blow, but she could tell he was simply prodding her. She had to think of something. Her whole magic career was on the line.
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