I close my eyes, attempting to escape the sores and aches from around my body, the foul smell from the many gone off things which smothered the room and the sound of knocking on the door, with a bittersweet voice calling out to me.

My hand reached for a handle which should've been near me, but I escaped from it all before I ever could.

-

In the darkness of my eyes, an image formed. The white of fog - or was it smoke? - drifting in from various gaps filled in initially, then grey from the overcast skies washed over the horizon. A darker grey of the countless sky-scrapers which loomed over the small streets was next, which left the white 'stuff' seeping from between them. Finally, the black of the roads and many face-less suits came into picture, all inanimate as if frozen in time.

Looking around every-which direction, I saw featureless people breaking their motionless stance, pointing with mimed gestures to some building nearby, so I followed their direction. A sign with the words 'High school' was as blunt as the bland, motionless silhouettes physically blocked off any alternate routes, forcing me down this one trail.

I entered the big, unadorned gate from which the sign hung, entering a tidy, characterless garden which still had shades of grey as the only colours.

Upon entering, a ticking sound boomed from my pocket. What seemed like periods of minutes swiftly became seconds which then sped up even further, and my steps and heartbeat followed the increasing tempo.

Harshly turning around a corner which lead into the largest block of grey, my legs almost gave out as I now faced a large open atrium. A freeze frame of black portraits crowded the area.

My eyes darted around the area, checking countless unnamed doors as my legs attempted to keep up. The doors counted down, all leading to blockades of plain figures, rooms locked to me or pure nothingness.

In sync of the ticking suddenly stopping, I became utterly confused, resting half-collapsed in front of the last white image, turning back to the black outlines filling in the edges tinted with light grey whom dominated my vision once more.

Barely holding onto my remaining strength, my vision barely remaining...

However, something poked out from the grey-scale image in front of me, a spec of colour had become visible.

The coloured dot moved closer, the sight of the daring red of a flashy dress taking evermore steps towards me immediately stopped my breathing with its simple existence.

Her picture swiftly came into focus, more colours became visible the more I focused on her.

Her deep green eyes pierced the flawless white slate of her face, with dangerous yet tantalizing scarlet hair gracefully forming the background to her profile.

As the features built up, the blunt, ruby-red of lipstick, two dashes of faded salmon mascara and a porcelain-white, cute, pointy nose made up the rest of her face. Her body being tall, and accompanied by, well... some very noticeable curves.

All perfectly symmetrical, all perfectly proportioned and all completely mesmerizing to me. And in quick succession, her rose perfume diffused until it was the only thing I could smell, which only added to her attractiveness.

She, who was with a group of black outlines of people, halted; now staring at me for some unknown reason.

Smiling, she grabbed my grey hand - which, to be honest, I couldn't even identify as my own- and asked, "Lost?" in a soft but faultless, angelic voice.

The subtle tilting of her head when asking me made her impeccable straight hair flow like a wave to its new position, which only mezmorized me further.

Speechless, I nodded without daring to take my eyes off her.

Dragging me up with a surprising amount of strength, she then fired a barrage questions at me, to suss out the situation, "What's your name? Your teacher? Your year? Subjects?"

Seeing as how I couldn't vocalize an answer to her; she let go of my hand and opened it, beaconing me with a question, "Mind showing me your lanyard?"

Still frozen, I nodded but my arms couldn't react with my words.

Impatient, her hand reached out to my neck. Grabbing a visible dark grey thread in order to free the ID from my outer coat buttons.

This physical contact finally made me jump back into motion, for which I had to bow in apology for, stuttering in the process of my mind restarting, "I-i'm sorry..."

Droning off when I try to explain myself, I hear a smattering of laughter which the girl seems to be accidently letting out or her control.

She attempts to apologize through the snickering, but it's even more broken than my attempt.

However, seeing my concerned face she stops herself, defending herself, "Sorry about that, but you seemed scared of me, which I found funny. Anyway, your room is..."

-

My attention span drops past the first sentence, but thankfully by the time I blink, the conversation is over and time skips to a lesson. Looking around, white is the predominant colour, black silhouettes of chairs, desks and inanimate people all seem to stare towards the front, where a taller a taller silhouette stands, murmuring some incoherent nonsense.

Quickly the bell rings and the sound of people standing up and tucking their chairs in happens in sync across the classroom. Upon this, all the silhouettes disappear, apart from one.

They seemed lighter, being grey instead of pitch-black, and, for some reason, they walked up to me and ask, "I heard from... you play guitar, right?"

Unconsciously I skip out the name, but, I at least respond with the answer to the question, "Yes. W..."

As I go to ask 'why', the scene transforms again. This time, from the bright classroom to some dim stage hidden behind the curtain with three other members.

Confused, I try to force my head to look around, but my body doesn't respond. Instead, it grabs the guitar which was hanging on my back and steps inline with one of the few lights here; matching the bassist opposite side of the stage, then I turned to face the grey insides of the curtains.

A slightly muffled male voice boomed from behind the curtains, saying, "Thank you for your patience audience members, judges and fellow competitors. It is now time for the last group to perform. Let's end our school's fifth annual sing-fest with one final song."

Without so much as a word of good luck, the curtains rise, the audiences of cutouts varying from grey to black renders in, with a white backdrop which, to be honest, is blinding to me.

"And now, please put your hands together for the band 'Patience', who are finally on the floor with their song 'Apathy'," the announcer says. Regardless of his words, his monotone voice didn't bring any hype, instead causing confusion and muttering between the silhouettes making up the audience.

With no input from me - my body and the rest of the band click our fingers in sync; silencing the crowd with our makeshift metronome.

After a four-two bar, the clicking stops and the bass kicks in, using the same tempo as our metronome. Then, after a double-bar, the drums start and I begin strumming my guitar, creating blues-esque peaceful melody with a thick eight-beat rhythm.

When a full bar-line passes, the blank-slated singer begins the first verse with his soft, baritone vocals,

"Remember when we were young, way back then~,

When ignorance and misery were just silly myths~.

Such humble poison which kills all emotion,

Reality is the toxin that caused these rifts.

Our feelings, our actions, and our pride!

All turned to dust with this tide~"

The tempo doubles, the drummer hits harder and the melody's peace changes beat by beat in the course of a bar-line, when I stop playing completely. This changing the tone from the relaxing blues to a blunt, but intense rock.

Borderline screaming, the singer starts the chorus,

"Reds, yellows, blues and every shade,

Which time begins to rapidly degrade!

The colourful blue ball we once called home,

Viciously contorted to leave us alone!

Always moving forwards, without choice,

We all stroll forwards with a muted voice!

The grey that now coats us is,

Apathy!"

Hearing him repeat the word apathy until the bar-line ended, I then started playing again, returning the blues tune with me.

The singer starts the second verse in their previous soft tone, it wasn't the same though, since he became more bitter with every line, and our playing followed, increasing in tempo and intensity,

"The yellow of sun which I had soon forgotten,

The red of the apple that quickly went rotten,

The blue of the skies and your mesmerizing eyes,

Which completely fell apart in the wake of your lies!

You left my heart to be engulfed by the dark!

You left my soul to be brutally torn apart!"

All us stopped playing on the word 'apart' and faced the song's final lines, sung by the singer in a weak voice, which turned into a pitiful whisper for the last part,

"You left this romance for which I cherished for so long!

You left me, and now? I can't even finish this song..."

We all faced the audience, bowed and were given our applause.

Mister announcer summarized, "Well, was that worth the wait or what? Now for a little break for the judges to make their votes..."

The curtains closed and we swiftly left the stage.

Upon walking to the random music room where the other bands were hanging out, another group walked up to us, with the others forming a circle which blocked off any escape.

Amongst the tall, featureless puppets, a hint of colour pierced the crowd to join the conflict.

I focused on a blue dot which prompt zoomed in to become: a tall elegant blue full-body dress which showed off her modest bust and slim stature, hypnotizing azure eyes and sapphire lip-gloss came into the picture. With the background of grey, it took me awhile to realize her impeccable head of straight, silk-like black hair, which highlighted her already pale skin even more.

Dispersing the encirclement with a wave of her hand, she stomps away. Later turning to glare at us, saying, "If you dare win with that joke of an entry!" Then she vanished from view.

Blinking, I ended up back on stage, a stagelight focused on me, leaving me barely able to see.

The announcer did his job, disclosing the results from the faceless judges, looking over the audience on pedestal like stools, "Coming in third, it is..."

A literal drum-roll came from who knows where, sweat formed on my brow and for some reason I was slightly shivering.

"Patience, and their ironically incomplete song 'apathy'." A smattering of applause followed, then he continued, "In second..."

Punching the air with a smile on my face, I completely phased out for the second place announcement.

However, my ears soon picked up the announcement for first place, "Now, the time you've all been waiting for. But before we announce first place..."

Oh wait, he went on a tangent which I zoned out again for...

"It's stella blue and her band 'black aces' with their song, 'hypnotize me'."

Thunderous clapping which physically rippled the stage came in from the audience. I turned around to see the blue girl standing between two grey mannequins, ecstatically jumping for her win.

"Once again, lets thank the other bands for coming, and, give congratulations the winner for their song," with these last words from the announcer, the curtains fell and we all left the stage.

-

I close my eyes, and found my surroundings transition to somewhere in the outside. The same, featureless, ever-stretching sandbox of the city met my view and piercing it, an unrecognized, grey block as big as me stood.

Taking a further look, the outlines of what seemed to buttons and a random slot at the bottom made it seem like a vending machine.

My body - in my heed - pressed a button, grabbed a can of god knows what and walked away, yet it seemed like I wasn't alone since I heard footsteps nearby.

The sound got more intense, and when I looked behind me, a colour immediately popped into view; yellow.

The golden dress she was wearing glimmered like the sun, her sparkling blonde hair highlighted a warm, slightly tanned face with dim, but encapsulating blue eyes poking from it.

Upon looking further, I saw her cream lipstick and amber earrings, which somewhat suited her mature body.

"Hello, are you busy?" she asks, and with no one here but me and her and no obvious phone, I assume she's asking me.

For this, I don't know the answer since for all I know I need to rush to lesson or something after having this drink.

Thankfully, my body fills it in for me, "Not really, why?"

"I heard your band playing yesterday and... Um..." she blushes, and can’t bring herself to finish the question.

"I'm just a guitarist; pester the main singer," I say in response, I don't know why I try to send her away though.

For a second, her eyes glare at me, as if daring me to confirm I don't want her here.

Her mouth opens, revealing a deathening shout "I don't care about him! You're the... Um... sorry, its just..."

"I get the picture. Why me though?" I asked, tilting my head and shrugging.

"I... I..." she repeats like a broken record, then collapsed, kneeling with a hand on the floor.

My hands shake in front of me, trying to dismiss her fear, then I grab her hand to drag her to her feet.

"What's your name?" I ask, trying to calm her down.

It doesn't work, her panting and a dramatic faint were her only responses.

Before she hits the floor, I catch her shoulders.

With my knee now blocking her back from the grey, undetailed ground, I grab her stomach and pulled it into my arms.

Carrying her like a princess, I rush to... um... somewhere? My body moves on its own. Thankfully, I reach the infirmitory before getting lost.

Finding a silhouette who's apparel seemed closer to a doctor/nurse than a student, I try to explain the situation.

"She just fainted outside..." I say, slightly panting from the journey.

They get the message, and quickly unveil a bed which I gently release her onto.

My eyes turn to a watch on my arm, and as soon as I read '13:45', my legs wind up and whilst running through the door, the strain and breathlessness resemble a hundred metre sprint.

-

Blinking once out of the way of the infirmary, the scene changes again. This time, there's only a closed room which only had white with various doors.

I Look at them in detail, and the first door I see is red, with a neon pink sign above it simply saying 'PITY' and a blood-red handle. Walking close, I notice it's about two times my height.

Turning left, I saw a navy-blue door labeled 'RIVAL' in a bold text of the same colour, a sky-blue handle accompanying it. This one seems to be the same size as the red one.

Once again turning left, I saw a neon yellow door with the golden text 'CRUSH?' emblazoned on it, a similar gold coated its handle. Again, it's the same size.

Rotating further, I find another door. This one grey, with a silver handle and pitch black text simply saying 'exit'. It's the same size as the others.

Checking left once more I see the red door again.

Thinking of my options, I stand there. Mentally crossing out the grey door immediately, then after some thought, the blue.

Finally, after a hefty deliberation, I walk towards the yellow door, grab the golden handle and step into the darkness that awaited.

-

I was now in a corridor, walking through some random corridor. Figurines of people rendered in at every cross, leading me down this one way.

"Hey! Oi, you there!" a voice from behind me yells, making me turn.

Her golden hair captivates my vision, and without a word from me she continues, "Um... I-I don't know if..."

Cutting her off, I reply, "You're the miss I helped from before, right?"

She nods, attempting to speak but seeing her tremble, blush feverishly and her eyes avert

mine to look down, it was clear that embarrassment clearly enveloped her.

"I remember, don't worry about it," I calmly say, guessing her question.

Biting her lip, she stares at me, which I reciprocate.

“Tha-tha…” she mutters in a small voice which was almost inaudible…

Turning around, I brush it off by saying, “It was nothing.” Then proceed to walk away.

Before I get to the end of the corridor, I hear her scream, “Th-thank you!”

Looking behind me, her small figure- which shrunk further due to the distance between us- bowed towards me whilst shaking flimsily. So, upon seeing her rise, I smile back and nod, then head off.

-

At the end of the corridor, I blink. When opening my eyes again, the scene changed back to the series of doors.

I look around, seeing what changed. Unlike before, the size of the doors had changed. Whilst the yellow door grew, the blue and red both diminished. The grey however stayed the same for some reason…

Additionally, the yellow door changed its title by removing the question mark.

None of the other doors spoke to me, so I looked towards the yellow again.

-

I looked around me and saw another corridor.

It was still brighter than it had been before, something in the white sky-box of the surreal world was burning my eyes and everything around it.

“Your response?” a female voice says whilst a silhouette walks around the corner.

“Huh?” I reply, I’m somehow glad my body is as confused as me about this.

“My friend said she’d go out with you, and you’re saying ‘huh’? How dense are you?” she asks, but her tone isn’t teasing, it’s outright threatening.

“Sorry, but what? I’m not going out with her because she is way too scared of me and although I feel bad for her… The lack of her passing out constantly seems like a good thing! How the hell am I the bad guy again!?” my body explains, pity that not even I understand what it’s saying...

“You don’t understand, do you? A shy girl like her asking you out after love at first sight! It’s sacreligious to just reject her that coldly, you beast!”

“Look, if she can’t even explain to me one reason she likes me, apart from shallow aesthetics, why the heck should I say ‘yes’? I’d rather be alone forever than desperate enough to fall for something that toxic,” my body says, and I think I’m beginning to side with it. She’s done nothing but pass out, and I only cared about her for her looks anyway…

“Are you really that dense? Well then, tell them your feelings,” the silhouette says, pointing behind me.

“Um… Um…” familiar stuttering comes from behind me, and as I turn around, my eyes confirm the blonde’s presence.

“Go ahead, why me?” I ask, attempting to keep as calm whilst asking as possible.

“I-I’m sorry!” she screams, scattering like dust.

-

I close my eyes, and by the time I open them and see the same room of rooms as before.

Again, the red and blue doors shrink, again the grey one is the same, but for some reason, the yellow door is completely missing.

“Crap… Why the hell did I ruin that one!?” I yell, punching and kicking the wall where the yellow door used to be.

Taking a deep breath, I eventually manage to shrug off that mess-up and pick the red door next.

-

Blinking, I now find myself in the atrium, surrounded by the countless silhouettes whilst carrying a tray. No matter where I look, the only chairs are filled…

Until I find one, highlight by a familiar spec of red sitting next to it.

“Um… Um…” my body stutters, trying to get her attention, but doing it as awkwardly as possible due to the clear distinction between us.

She looks around, looking as flawless as the first time we met, and looks at me for a second.

“Yes? Oh, sure, that seat was open anyway…” she explains, reading my mind.

Before I could even continue stammering, she widens her hypnotizing green eyes and looks at me.

“Right, you’re…” she says, then lightly laughs as she remembers, “You’re the first year, ha ha ha, who feared me so adorably…”

Her friends join in, and what seemed like light-hearted laughter turns to taunting cackles.

Then the mumbling begins, with one of her friends asks if I was crying when we met, and others commenting on how it’s an insult for me to even talk to her. As I look around, it’s pretty clear to see everyone caught up in it, all joining in, all laughing at me…

My body shrugs and casually leaves, but figures block my way to continue the harassment…

One of their arms are thrown towards me in the form of a punch, and as I flinch, the scene disappears, transforming once again into the circular room of rooms.

This time, the blue door has shrunken again to slightly smaller than me in height and the red door grew, darkening in colour and now having the caption of ‘Bully?’. The grey door remains untouched.

I dread what the red door has in store for me, so with my body agreeing, I open the blue instead…

-

Opening my eyes, I see yet another corridor with all the doors unmarked and closed, except two to my left.

I walk to one of them to see what the small text on top says, but when my body moves my arm towards the door, something grabs me from within the other and drags me in.

There are female screams as I, and the occupants of the room, simultaneously realize the situation, the result of which is the half-nude person who grabbed my arm immediately threw me out as quickly as possible, and this is when I realize I’m carrying something in a bag held in my other hand, which gets sprays haphazardly over the floor as I fall due to the push.

“What the..!?” my body exclaims, as I get to my feet.

“Who the hell are you?!” a girl from inside yells, seeming to think somehow this was my fault…

“I’m the guy who was asked to flipping deliver meg’s costume her mother sent, why the hell did you do that!?” I exclaim back.

A voice from behind me asks, “Need some help with that?”

Sighing, I reply, “Please… My luck is so~ bad today.”

With that, as I trust them to pick up the costume- which thankfully was intact in spite of the fall- I look back to them and realize they’re just another featureless background character.

“Cheers and sorry about that…” I say, bowing as I come near the door and announce to those inside, “I’m dropping meg’s costume off near the door, someone get it when you’re suitably dressed…”

Finishing that, I head to leave when a familiar face appears from the corner.

“This meg’s?” she asks, not even bothering to look me in the eyes as she picks up the bag.

“Yeah, cheers,” I say and walk off.

About halfway down the hallway I finally blink, and upon opening my eyes, I’m back to the room of rooms. Without any thought I head to the blue door and enter it, not even bothering to read if it’s name changed…

-

Looking around- well... trying to look around. I’m on stage currently bowing with people who seem to be from my earlier band in front of a packed audience, the applause seeming to be over.

My body hoisted the guitar from my back, and walked offstage with the rest of the band whilst taking the grey strap off my shoulder, and backstage I put it in my case.

About to walk off, I noticed the blue girl… who I seem to remember being called Alice, walking towards us.

As we cringed in the face of a probably insult, she just looked me in the eyes and said, “Thank you and melissa apologizes for what happened, she just thought you were me, and you weren’t...”

Shocked, I watched her stroll away in a rather good mood, and the rest of my band joined me…

I blunk to see if it was real, and who’d have guessed, I was back into the circular room.

Again, I immediately walked back into the blue door, this time barely reading ‘friend?’ in sky blue above the door before entering…

-

“Hey, are you okay?” a female voice asks me…

Reflectively jumping in shock, I hear Alice say ‘woah’ as I nearly punch her.

“Sorry, I…”

She cuts me off, interrogating me instead of waiting, “Why the hell were you asleep here of all places? You’re driving the teachers mad…”

Yawning, I shrug and explain, “I’ve been having a hard time with a certain redhead and her friends… To a point where I haven’t slept in a while.”

“Oh, her. Yeah, you should just stop trying with her, it won’t end well…”

I jump off the bench again, asking, “You know her?”

“Well, duh. She’s in my maths class and a total diva… Even I get annoyed at her when she’s too prissy,” she says, playing with her hair as she explains.

Then, a coin drops in my mind as I remember who’s sitting next to me. “Wait… Why are you here?”

“Long story short, I wanted to be alone… But, you’re fine. At least, you don’t seem like a horn dog, and sorry again for melissa that one time and myself in our first meeting...”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re giving me way too much credit. You couldn’t have done anything about the former anyway.”

Taking a deep sigh. “I know, it’s just… You seem like a good guy.”

“Mind if I ask something?”

“Go ahead,” she replies.

“Why are you even talking to me? I’m just normal if you look at it on the surface, and a loser being bullied by a girl in your class at worst… And you are one of the prettiest girls in the whole school… It just doesn’t make sense to me, considering how you acted towards my old band members. You even allowed me in yours when I’m a half-arsed guitarist focusing more on science than music...” I rant, explaining my confusion in a mess of words.

Taking a deep sigh, the holds her head and faces away from me mumbling, “I don’t know... I guess I must be surrounded by freaks if you’re so normal.”

“Sorry, what?” I heard her the first time, but whether my body did or is just feigning ignorance I can’t tell.

She awkwardly coughs and shys away from my face.

Turning to me with an unbreaking stare, she clearly states, “I said you’re different to the cock-brained monkeys constantly following me around… Seriously, you seem to be kind, if not way too modest. Well, one of my guitarists quit anyway… But I wanted to keep this positive. Good luck on writing our song, if it’s not good enough you’re fired...”

A light laughter accompanied her leaving, and I soon followed.

I then blink and I’m transported to the room of rooms again… This time there’s no red door, only a massive blue door which seemed miles away, flashing every other colour as if telling me something.

My body, with me, walks towards it. But with every step, pages of music script fill my mind, with elegant songs, heavenly harmonies and the flawless music that accompanied it. The closer I get, the more music I can hear playing from behind it, and the more I want to see it for myself...

But as I close into the door, the pages popping into my mind get rushed, from perfect notation to scribbles and as I get in reach of the door...

It goes blank.

Quickly my body takes steps back as the door grows larger and further away, regardless of my mind yelling at it to continue.

Then my body turns around, now facing the grey door.

‘No, no… NO!’ I yell in my mind, but my body has none of it. Every step is mentally draining, but the futility soon gets to me.

I curse in my mind as I reach the door handle, and for every fraction of a second I can, I list of more, getting gradually more intense, all aimed at myself...

Opening it, my mind gives one more attempt to force my mind out.

But as I step in, it’s fruitless.

The mumbled music from the doorway morphed into my doorbell in the real world, but, but...

I really didn't want to leave.

Why did my body do this?

I fought reality as much as I could, but all the layers of the image faded to black, the smell of the subtle yet sweet vanilla warped into the stomach-churning odor of who knows what presently filling my room.

My eyes opened, begrudgingly, looking at my grey door in time for me to hear one final cry calling my name. After which, the furious rings and knocks stopped completely.

A stand still of silence formed.

With bated breath I waited, but the next knock never came.

I then close my eyes again whilst trying to reach the handle of the knife under my pillow, seeing which came first...