《I Have to Text my Ex, or the World Explodes》16. And then he died
Advertisement
"Wait. Where are you going?" The Goddess grasped Andrew's arm.
"If superpower can't help me, then I know one thing that can. Science! I'm gonna create a machine to open a portal to a new dimension."
"You can't just invent a new device to gain access to another dimension!"
"Did you just tell the man who's lived his life a hundred times what to do, you ass? You're the cause of all this, so shut the fuck up!"
The Goddess froze on the spot. She looked as though she was trying to say something but her lower jaw had been frozen.
"Wow. That's a tad harsh, man," Joddy wiped a piece of meat off his moustache. "I would've just told her to go make sandwiches."
The Goddess hiccupped. Before long, tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.
Andrew panicked. "Wow, wow. Don't cry. Don't cry! I can only whoop asses, I don't know what to do with tears!"
However, nobody had ever stopped crying after one told them to stop crying before. Goddesses' tears were soon accompanied by sniffles, then by more hiccups. And they merged into wails.
Andrew didn't know what to do, but he knew he wanted it to stop. He blurted out the first solution he thought of, "I'll go out with you! I'll go out with you, alright?"
"Really?" She looked up at him with her teary eyes.
"Really!"
"Then it's settled!" The Goddess grinned from ear to ear. There wasn't even a tear left on her face, as though they'd vaporized in seconds.
"What the fuck? B-but you just wailed and weeped like a walrus just now!"
"Let's get us a nice dinner! I've already booked a restaurant. It has the best seared tuna!" She hopped over and wrapped her arms around his before turning back to Joddy. "Stay here."
Andrew understood he'd just been bamboozled. However, he also remembered that the Goddess had never stayed past ten minutes in this world in her current manifestation before. He looked down his wristwatched and mentally counted the time. If he waited another minute, she would disappear, surely.
And he waited. Then the tenth minute ticked. But he only found himself being dragged out of the room by the Goddess.
"How come you're still here?" He asked.
"I bought the DLC. Now I can play as myself for as long as I want."
Advertisement
"You could have bought the DLC at ANY time during the last hundred loops, but you chose to buy it now?"
"Hey! It's not like I have spare money all the time, okay? My part-time only pay me once a fortnight, okay?"
"A. . . fortnight? It's only been two weeks in your world?"
"Have you ever played a video game where time runs as slow as in real life? Duh."
Andrew thought for a moment. "Listen. I will d-d-date you," he swallowed hard, "but only on the condition that I'm dating this version of you and not any other random NPC you seize control of."
"Okay."
"So who controls Pink Anne now?"
"No one!" The Goddess laughed nervously. "She'll just go back to being an NPC."
"So she'll stop obsessing with me then?"
"Uh. . . Who cares about that? That's not important. The important thing now is to search for where we'll go on our honeymoon. . ."
Andrew growled, but decided that he couldn't care less. Stepping into another dimension could wait. Maybe he'd give this whole relationship thing another try. Maybe not every girl liked to torture him with whips and giant fake penises.
And he was correct, at least during his time spent with the Goddess, whose real name he learned (to his shock and astonishment) to be Anna. The longer he stayed with her, the more he realized that in essence, the true self of the Goddess wasn't that bad. She was in fact just another woman who enjoyed teddy bears, gaming, staring at his face whenever they dine together, and innocuously wiring Andrew's phoneline and laptop. The Goddess promised Andrew that she would alter the game to give him everything he wanted, but he did not take advantage of it. Knowing full well that accumulating wealth was never the solution to life, Andrew wanted to keep a low profile and work at a research lab for the rest of days. HIs wish was granted, and his life was seemingly normal again.
After dating Goddess for nearly a year, her affection and personality seeped into Andrew and he felt more at ease alongside her. There was just a teeny-tiny problem: Goddess was a jealous type. And when she raged, that teeny-tiny problem turned into another teeny-tiny problem.
A few months into dating, Andrew and Goddess went out on a casual shopping date. While walking along the road, suddenly Goddess jerked Andrew's hand and questioned him, "Did you just glance at that girl who walked past?"
Advertisement
"Who?" Andrew looked around but saw no one.
"That one! RIght over there!" She pointed to the empty nothing.
"There's no one there!"
"There's one right there, between the border of Finland and Russia!"
"Russia? We're in Canada!"
"Don't try to weasel your way out of this! Just wait until we get home and you'll see. . ."
Andrew was about to argue, but before he could say anything, a sudden whoosing noise roared from the sky. He turned around and saw a meteorite penetrating the atmosphere. Ah shit, here we go again.
"Hey! Hey hey!" Andrew stared at the Goddess.
She immediately realized what had happened and started desperately jumping up and down. "I'm sorry! I'm calm, I'm cool. Shoo, meteor, shoo!"
The meteor turned its ass back into space to the shock of everybody else. It was said that he eminent scientist Elbert Ainstein was still searching for answers to that impossible natural phenomena.
Eventually, Andrew learned to sustain his normal life. He just needed to care for Anna, give her emotional support every day, and not look at the general direction of Finland and Russia. The Goddess being happy meant the city was meteor-free.
Of course, that life didn't last long. One day, Anna came to him and said, "I'll have to leave you, for now."
"What do you mean?" Andrew asked, baffled.
"I-I played too much video games, so my dad's taking away my PC. I only have a few minutes left in this world."
Only then that Andrew realized the unwavering truth: no matter how invincible you were, your parents would always be stronger than you.
"Wait. How are you still being grounded? How old are you?"
"Of legal age."
"The legal age in Japan is thirteen; that doesn't make it acceptable! How old are you?"
"I'm—" Before Anna was able to respond, she had already vanished.
Witnessing his girlfriend of a year disappearing before his very eyes, Andrew was speechless. Every emotion built up inside his chest; everything they'd had together. Unable to contain his feelings anymore, he screamed, "Yesssss! No more Pink Anne! No more Goddess! No more interruption to my peaceful life!"
"You fool! Do you know what this means?" A male voice resounded behind Andrew. He turned back and Joddy was conveniently standing there.
"Stop moving the plot forward!" Andrew protested.
"This world will be wiped out. Forever. No respawn."
"No." Andrew shivered. "That can't be."
"It's only logical," Joddy replied.
"No. It's too logical. Something that makes sense cannot possibly happen here."
"Your phone is made in China, right?" Joddy pointed at the phone Andrew was holding.
Andrew asked in astonishment, "How do you know?"
"Because it's disappearing, along with everything Chinese."
Andrew looked down and saw his phone being reduced to atoms right in front of his eyes.
"No. No, no, no! I worked hard for my normal life! I'm not about to lose it again!"
So, the young scientist rushed into his laboratory and spent all his precious time assembling the most complicated gadget on Earth. Three seconds later, he walked out and shouted, "Behold! The SpaceWarper 1000!"
"Cool. What does it do?" Joddy asked.
"It concentrates ANTIMATTER into the tip of the holster until the energy gets so dense and the atoms can't stand breathing at each others face anymore like passengers inside a Japanese bullet train. They'll rip space apart just to get out, thus creating a portal to another dimension. . . I hope."
"Gosh! Why do you have to yell ANTIMATTER everytime you say it?"
"I'm not yelling! The author has ANTIMATTER in his copy/paste archive and pasting ANTIMATTER is more desirable than having to type it."
"So it's a really, really big ANTIMATTER cannon?" Joddy asked.
"Yep."
"Astounding," Joddy scoffed. "Have you thought this through? You'll be a 3D creature inside of a 4D world. You might not even gonna exist. If you do exist there, you might even be Latina!" His face contorted as if he just ate a stinky BeanBoozled jelly belly.
"Relax. I'm the main character."
Andrew launched the gun into the air, tearing a deep, black hole floating in space. It was so deep he couldn't see anything but darkness. But he didn't care. He needed to survive.
Andrew jumped into the hole. Then he died.
THE END
.
.
.
Sike! You thought this is all over, didn't you? BUT YOU WERE WRONG!
SEQUEL
ANDREW IN THE 4D WORLD
Advertisement
- In Serial10 Chapters
Monolith World
Warning: VERY slow paced. I want this to be my best novel, so I will shelve it while I work on other projects to improve my writing. If you want to read the very first (cringe and unfinished) draft, here it is: Volume 1 Volume 2 Jon is a fairly intelligent, ordinary high schooler who loves physical and mental challenges, but only if they’re in the form of games. One day, it seems like the world suddenly ends; he and his best friend are taken to a new world by a mysterious white light after school. How is this world different? Who is watching him? Why is he here? What is his goal? What is a “monolith”? Find out next episode on dragon ballzzzz Join my Discord server to discuss this web novel and recieve chapter updates! Discord link Do not read if you despise monologues. Unravel the mysteries of this new world alongside the main character, as well as truths about him and his family. What can you determine? This is an isekai written by me. Inspired by a wide variety of isekai stories. All my stories have a mathematical/philosphical theme. This story's theme: A lot... TBD - rz
8 308 - In Serial6 Chapters
The Last Player
This novel tells the story of Allen, a virtual mmorpg game player who once made the history of mankind, Creatia. But who would have thought that the legendary game had to close the game due to a significant decline in players Even at the last moment of this game, only Allen alone stood to see the end of the world that accompanied him for 30 years But just as he thought that this was the end, a miracle happened He returned to the previous 30 years! What is the meaning and purpose of returning to the past? To be the strongest? Protecting those he cares about, or to prevent Creatia from closing? No matter what, regrets and mistakes will not be repeated a second time! strongest items, hidden dungeons, secret quests, legendary jobs. He knows it! And here, the journey of the last player, begins! --- Skip to game: chapter 11 If you find a typo/error, please let the author know!
8 194 - In Serial48 Chapters
Smiling Chaos
A tale of betrayal, lies and love. SeJun University is like a jungle. Everyone belongs to a clan, a group or club. The groups leaders hate each other more than anything and it's obvious to guess why.Their one mission , conquer the school and make everyone obey them. The question is how far are they willing to go to achieve this goal Falling in love is easy even with your enemy but choosing your heart when things go south is probably the thin line that defines true love. When you come to this school, one thing is for certain. Trust no one.. Even close Friends tie hatchets over each other's heads . Lovers break their own hearts just to survive.. Being a someone in this school is like walking around with a dart board when everyone is trying to hit the bulll s eye..
8 153 - In Serial14 Chapters
What can a Wisp do?
An unknown guy was gifted by his friends a Virtual Reality console on his birthday, lacking on cash he purchases the least expensive game, or rather got it for free. Through his journey into the RPG Virtual Reality game, he ""MANAGE"" to kill the Demon Lord and by chance was transported into the game world. However, the ""Hero of the Game"" was unfortunate, directly after he was transported into the new world, he was killed. As a wondering soul lost in endlessness,by one means or another got another opportunity and was reborn, but not as a Hero, but rather a monster, one of the weakest creature in the game, a simple Wisp.?I'm not a good writer or a ""Professional"" one, or good at making sentence, or sometimes my grammar will be bad, and have a lot of mistakes and misspelled words or typo. But I would like to continue writing, for fun, and to pass some time. As some of the reader and writers say ""Escaping from Reality"".??But please enjoy and thank you for reading, and wasting your precious time??I'm just writing this on my empty time, sorry if the further chapters will be posted late or super late as I'm occupied. (or just lazy, or tired)?
8 180 - In Serial49 Chapters
Low Tide \ JJ Maybank
She was the first person he trusted with his secret. His safe place.He was the first guy she let all the way in. He could ground her when nobody else could.-"𝐓𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧."-"𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕞𝕪 𝕨𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕝𝕕. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕀 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖."-JJxOCAn Netflix Original: Outer Banks FanficHighest Rankings:#1 in johnbookerrougtledge#1 in kiaracarerra#2 in obx #3 in surfing #2 in boats#2 in netflixoriginal#1 in pogue
8 112 - In Serial20 Chapters
Railgun Online, Book 5. Alicization Running
Mikoto, Sinon and Kirito have been living in the Underworld for 2 years now. Both Kirito and Mikoto, along with Eugeo, have become Elite Sword Masters each with their own Valet. Kirito has obtained his sword from the Gigas Cedar, the Night Sky Sword, while Mikoto has obtained the River Spirit Sword and dual wields it along with her Master Sword. Sinon in the meantime, has joined the Archery Corps. When Mikoto's Valet, Stella, discovers a dark secret that nearly costs her life, Mikoto and Sinon decide to head out to investigate..In the process they discover an entire armada of Viros swarming out of a strange portal near the goblin territories. Meanwhile, in the real world, Accelerator and Asuna find themselves in a massive battle against the forces of God's Right Seat and secret forces from the Japanese Government, all of whom seem to be interested in Kazuto, Mikoto, and Shino..And even stranger still, a dark figure seeks to find the Brain Burst Program, and develop something with it..The world of Railgun Online is becoming larger still, and there's no telling where it might lead
8 166

