“I don’t understand Jonathan. You seem so agreeable with Joshua, why did you imprison him?”

“We are agreeable, but he wants to kill me and my associates. That just doesn’t make the foundations for a healthy relationship. But that doesn’t matter, I know, Alfonso told me. I can’t in good conscience just let him roam the earth.”

“... Alfonso did?”

“Yeah, at least he has some sense. How were you ok with this Grayson? What if he started talking to someone like a psychiatrist? Or even worse, a philosopher.”

“... we’ve wasted too much time already. Dax, you need to pay attention, we might not have another opportunity to discuss this safely.” Alfonso’s words started to accelerate, he spoke quickly, stopping to breathe only when he absolutely had to. He was… raving.

“Joshua is Immortal, but that is a symptom of his true ability, not the ability itself. Joshua calls it Edit. I don’t know how, I do not think even Joshua knows how, but whatever Joshua believes in, what he truly has confidence in, that is. If he was certain that two ton elephants would fall from the sky every time a black cat crossed his path, then you better get rid of all the black cats.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Doesn’t matter, Joshua doesn’t need to understand it, he needs to wholeheartedly believe it. If he does, it is so, regardless of whatever evidence to the contrary there is or ever was. Joshua is Immortal because he believes that to be the case and he has overwhelming first hand evidence to support that belief. I don’t know what first led to that belief, perhaps he was mad. Anyways, we don’t have the time to discuss all the possible implications, think about it on your own and tell no one.” My mind was racing, Edit sounded… omnipotent. Should I believe what Alfonso was saying? It sounded like madness.

“Is there evidence for this Edit?” Once again, I am struck with the question of Alfonso’s trustworthiness. Argh! How I am supposed to make a decision! This is so out of my depth! I mean, he just sounds so crazy! He looks crazy for that matter…

“Of course there is, just control the information Joshua receives without raising his suspicion. Very interesting things take place. I obviously don’t have the means to prove this to you currently. So I need your trust and confidence in this matter. But quiet your concerns, I said we don’t have much time! You have to realize this, Joshua’s existential crisis is the world’s existential crisis. Joshua can end us all with a string of wayward thoughts. In fact, I am confident Joshua has actually done so repeatedly.” Alfonso paused to breathe, and pressed on.

“He has too many memories, too many experiences that just don’t add up with our world's version of human history. Who knows how many times he has lived through a version of human history? What I do know is that this is the first time Joshua has observed the astounding technological progress we have made in the last few decades. Now this means we have resources Joshua has never seen before. I doubt it, but just maybe something will be able to deal with Joshua. On the other hand, Joshua could be ready to pop. Now, Joshua knows this, but he doesn’t think about it. Joshua is trying to distract himself every moment of everyday, controlling his thoughts with superhuman precision. But he is not infallible. If you talk to him about this, if anybody talks to him about this, it's over. That is of course assuming Joshua is able to keep control of his thoughts, if not, we could all be but a dream any moment. Ahhh… it was so cathartic to let that all out.” Alfonso’s words finally ran dry. He slumped in his chair, looking exhausted and, paradoxically, rather refreshed.

“I uh, um. Just. So… What am I supposed to do with THAT? This is… too much. What do you want from me?” Ok, I know I was just all ‘I will expect great things from myself!’ But, Alfonso just laid down on me some crippling, crushing, cosmic horror with a side of existential dread. How am I going to sleep at night dammit!

“I don’t know. I gave up and tried to lock Joshua away. I believed our best bet was relying on Joshua’s self control and limiting his interaction with the world as much as possible. Was that the right thing to do? Who knows, but it has been ten more years. I believe the end justifies the means. Even if Joshua was condemned to a dark silent hell, a whole world continued to exist in the light. But clearly Joshua is not martyr enough to appreciate that, and I ultimately failed. Joshua is free and we are all in danger. So now, on whim, Joshua has selected you to earn his trust. If anybody can find a solution that Joshua will accept, it is you. Not me. You don’t believe in yourself? Fine, my only advice is to believe in the Joshua who believes in you. Hopefully Edit is on your side.” I guess that makes sense?

“Leaving aside all the nonsense I don’t understand, Alfonso, why would you think Joshua would accept anything along the lines of ‘the end justifies the means’ logic? Joshua doesn’t even know if he has an end. Means are all he has.” That should be pretty obvious right? Joshua’s motivations are almost disgustingly simple, he wants to die and he doesn’t want to be bored. Alfonso’s plan was about as directly opposite to those motivations as it is possible to be.

“...you can say that, but I may be the only reason any of us are still here to debate morality. But we have more important things to talk about. Dax, will you abide by my warnings? We can talk about the whole mess with the other Immortals any other time. But I need you to promise me Dax that you will help protect us all from Joshua. You cannot talk about this with anyone, it is too dangerous.”

“I… can promise that. For now.” As the promise left my lips I felt my stomach twist and tighten. I don’t know if I believed Alfonso, but it certainly felt like I believed him.