《EDIT》18, In Which Erin Solves A Math Problem

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“HI! Your name is Joshua right?”

“Yeah. Should I know you?”

“No, but I think we are going to become B.F.F.s”

“.....Coming on a little strong there aren’t you?”

“Is that right? The name is Garth by the way. Well, I’m sure you’ll forgive me eventually. We have all of eternity ahead of us.”

“That is a bold statement to say to me of all people. Guess you’re in a hurry to die. I’ll kindly fulfill that desire. Let’s start with decapitation shall we?........ Seriously? You let yourself be decapitated just like that? Did you actually want to die? I understand, you’re welcome.”

“Come now Joshua, I liked that body! Don’t worry, I can understand the urge to kill. It is so entertaining to see all these people running around in a tizzy! We are still cool.”

“What? Who are you?”

“Are you confused? I guess I am a woman this time, but I promise you that I am one hundred percent classic Garth on the inside.”

“Get out of her body. Now.”

“You really aren’t a fan of women huh? Alright.”

“......Why did you kill her Garth?”

“Does that bother you? Really? I am surprised, don’t you understand? They don’t matter right? Maybe you actually preferred her form? Hey. Hey. Why are you mad? It’s just like changing clothes, don’t you change clothes too? Do you not like my current body either? It can’t be helped, we all have our preferences. Tell me, what do you want? I can be whoever you like. It’s easy, no trouble at all for me really. Well, it used to hurt a bit when the body died but pain doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“.... I see….. What words are there to say to that?......You have my pity…. Let me put you out of your suffering.”

“I’m so tired, I wish I could go run or spar or something.” mused Erin to herself. After the interesting bus trip she, Joshua, and Bill/Ted went to class like normal. That Grayson guy went off by himself muttering about how he didn’t have time to waste in school. Erin slumped in her chair as the teacher was droning on and on about algebra. Bored, Erin began one of her favorite hobbies, Origami. About at the halfway mark of completing an origami tarantula, she was interrupted by the teacher calling for her attention.

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“Miss, what is your name again?”

“It’s Erin.”

“Okay Erin! I’ll try to remember it this time! May I ask you what you are doing in the middle of math class?”

“Folding an origami tarantula.” said Erin while she nonchalantly continued folding.

“Really? That is actually really cool! But now is not the time for that, right now is the time to listen, if you don’t pay attention you will not be able to do the problems in your homework.” The whole class was focused on Erin, she finally began to notice and her face was flushed from embarrassment.

“Th-that won’t be a problem, I can do the homework.”

“Really? That’s awesome! Would you like to come up and solve a problem for the class?” The teacher smiled and gestured at the whiteboard.

“Sure.” Erin took a big breath got up and confidently walked up to the board, She looked at the equation, it did not worry her. Father had taught her what to do in these situations. She furrowed her brow and tensed her whole body. At that moment the equation stopped being a string of letters and numbers to Erin and became an enemy to be defeated. After analyzing her enemy's weaknesses she began to stab at it, tearing apart her enemy to get the necessary information. After she, metaphorically speaking, finished disposing of the body, Erin sat back down in her seat and looked around nervously. Everyone was staring at her with open mouths.

The teacher too was stunned for a moment before he remembered he was teaching a class. “Good job Erin! I haven’t even taught that method yet. But in the future could you not solve the problem so.. Ummm, violently?”

It was true, violently was the perfect description for how Erin had solved the math equation. She had held the red expo marker like a knife and turned it into a whirlwind of vicious stabs and slashes. The teacher had intended to tell her off for using the marker so harshly but before the words could even be formed in his mouth she had finished and recapped the marker. For a second to everyone in the class the red streaks on the whiteboard seemed like trails of blood.

Erin tilted her head in puzzlement, “What do you mean ‘violently’? Didn’t I solve it normally?”

“Umm, sure. Nevermind, good job.” Feeling like he shouldn’t push the issue any further, the teacher continued his lesson highly resolved that he would try to leave Erin alone in the future as long as she did well with her tests and homework.

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Erin felt pleased with herself, now everyone would be impressed with how smart she was! Her dream of being a popular normal girl in highschool was coming along! Erin went back to folding her tarantula, not noticing that her neighbors to either side had slightly scooted their chairs away from her.

When the bell rang at the end of class Erin turned to give the completed tarantula to the girl on her right but she had already packed up and was walking swiftly towards the door. Shrugging her shoulders, Erin turned to her left to give the tarantula to the boy who had been sitting on her other side, but he was already gone. A little disappointed, Erin threw the tarantula at the teacher's desk where it landed delicately balanced on the rim of his teacher of the year mug.

“They must have classes that are far away or something.” Thought Erin to herself as she got ready to head towards her next class. Bill/Ted wasn’t too far ahead of her, she could easily just catch up to him.

“Hey Bill/Ted!”

“Ah, Hello.” Bill/Ted answered vacantly.

“Quit moping around!” Erin lightly rested her fingernail on his jugular and released a little bit of killing intent. Instantly Bill/Ted drew in a sharp breath, his eyes dilated and his whole body tensed, becoming completely submerged in the adrenaline of the fight or flight reflex.

That should wake him up. Erin nodded to herself, this was a classic Sterling family technique she had learned from her mother. Instantly becoming hyper aware and battle ready can be extremely useful, unfortunately this technique can only be performed on other people lowering its usefulness. But hey, it really came in handy when you wanted to manipulate someone's attitude.

“What the heck did you just do to me! I thought you had killed me!” Roared Bill/Ted.

“Nah, just scared you a bit, you feel better now right? You’re welcome.” Erin knew she wasn’t very good at the whole empathy thing but even she could tell Bill/Ted had been pretty shook up about the whole link thing with Grayson. It was annoying to see how he kept going on and on with a blank expression on his face. So she decided to shake him back into being himself.

“Hah...hah...I guess?” Still breathing hard, Bill/Ted bent over and rested his hands on his knees. “So, do you need something from me?”

Need something? From Bill/Ted? Erin cocked her head and furrowed her brow and thought about it. Why did she feel a little angry at the question?

“No, I guess you are just the only person I actually know right now so it felt natural to walk to class with you.”

“Oh, ummm, okay then. Your next class is art right? I’ve got English next actually so I guess we have the same route.” Bill/Ted awkwardly started walking again. The whole atmosphere was awkward. Erin hated it, had she said something weird again? Why did this always happen with people around her own age…

Irritated, Erin stalked along beside Bill/Ted until something caught her eye. There were five guys dressed in tuxedos each holding a single flower standing along the side of the hallway. As she drew nearer they noticed her and began acting... weird. One was clenching and unclenching his fists as he grew more and more red, another was striking the thinker pose without moving, yet another had brought out a large text book titled “19th century court etiquette” and was trying to read it upside down. Baffled, Erin and everyone else stared at the….. Tuxedo quintet? Of the remaining two, one began to approach Erin and the other fainted.

“Ah, goddess of men, may I present thee this, a single lily?” Said the strange boy as he proffered a rose. Surprisingly inaccurate flowery language accompanied the gift of a flower. Confused, Erin looked to Bill/Ted who shrugged his shoulders while he tried to inconspicuously edge away from the weirdos.

“Sure, umm thanks?” Erin took the rose and quickly walked away, what was that all about? Was this something normal? She still didn’t really know much about normal school life.

Unnoticed by Erin, Joshua stepped out behind a corner grinning broadly as the hallway crowd of high schoolers all began to speculate on the true nature of the mysterious Erin. Those five idiots were doing their job perfectly!

Unnoticed by both Erin and Joshua, the forgotten Bill/Ted decided he should hurry or he would be late to class.

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