The heavy-lidded eyes of the behemoth stretched open and unveiled two deep shadowed wells with piercingly bright white points hovering, glaring, in the centre of each.

“NOW!!! Will you shut up and listen?” It said almost quietly, following the preceding bellow.

“ok.” I said. Now rather mousely.

“As the oldest, wisest and most bored of all interdimensional beings I sometimes have to make my own ‘entertainment’ and that’s where the unprotected souls of pipsqueaks like you come in.”

At this point I remembered why my goal up to this point had been to goad this man/Cthulhu rip off, to the point where I could legally punch him in the face. He was an arsehole.

“I snatch up one of you at the point of death and punt you off into some fantasy world. Then, I can look in and alleviate the boredom with the usual hilarity that emerges as you bumble along with a combination of culture shock, low levels contrasted with powerful knowledge and skills. It tends to be highly amusing so don’t disappoint.”

“And then should you manage to get your feet under you, I can send the adventures to one of my worshippers as a dream vision, as a reward for a sacrifice or similarly appropriate tribute, they write it down as a book and make a mint all in my name!!! Essentially I can’t lose.”

I got the feeling Douglas didn’t get a chance to monologue very often…

“Now, there are many benefits for the contestant as well as the viewer.” He said slyly, with a mocking tone and a smarmy grin. Slime, the dude was slime.

“This isn’t a replacement for the afterlife. God, no!”

Stifling a laugh, a process made far more terrifying by the use of 20-foot tentacles, he continued.

“Think of this more as an interruption, a delay that allows you a little more time out in the yard before headin’ back to the cell. Squeeeezin’ in a little more time watchin’ TV before going to bed. Doesn’t that sound good, eh?”

Leaning his gargantuan head forward as if lowering himself down to hear the words of a child. Douglas awaited my response.

With a resigned sigh, and then a defiant glare, I asked, “Do I even have a choice?”

Suddenly heaving himself back with a bellow of laughter Douglas continued to laugh for the next minute or so.

Starting back up again with a splutter Douglas manged to squeeze up a gargled reply.

“No but I like to show benefits as well, just ease the transition a touch, can’t have you all cracking the second you head through.”

With that chilling clarification Douglas went on to explain that traveling through the in-between to the new universe would briefly expose me to the rawest form of matter, the stem cells of reality, the same substance he was made of.

“Now as a higher being this stuff can’t hurt me any more than lukewarm water would hurt you. But to you, this substance will tear you apart in seconds, or mutate you into an eldritch abomination. As such I will bless you which will then manifest as a random Aspect. This will grant you the basic ability to withstand the void to a degree and another Aspect specific ability.”

I didn’t like the sound of ‘to a degree’, which is probably why Douglas followed up with…

“Calm down. Yes, there will still be side effects, but this time they’re good for you! The stuff of the void can become anything and alter any pre-existing substance but it’s also raw power. While random and chaotic, minimal contact should limit the effects to just impart you with strong abilities and maybe some slight genetic alteration.”

“Wait a fucking minute! What was that last part!?” I said with a note of outrage.

“It’s rare, and nothing to worry about, but the void may also alter you slightly as you pass through it. Look its fine with one of my Aspects you’ll be alright. I’ll do it now, so you can see the benefits.”

As a large coal black tentacle reached out toward me, I did the only logical thing and turned before bolting as fast as i could over the hill past the tree cursing a lack of exercise that leant me a figure more often described as ‘jolly’ rather than ‘athletic’.

Too much Futurama and hentai had been watched to not know what these situations meant. Tentacles never had your best interests at heart. Cresting the hill, I was brought face to face with the grim manifestation of eternal woe, the wall curved around the whole of the island...

Sinking to my knees in despair, i accepted my fate. The tentacles approaching now from all sides, I was encased in a writhing sphere. From within could be heard the distant mantra of…

“…happening, not happening, not…”

.................................

At some point after Douglas had released me from the nightmare sphere, he had also returned to human form although I hadn’t noticed busy being curled up on the ground going full foetal.

“The way the display of the skill is appearing for you is probably slightly different from how it will appear when you reach your new home. I don’t allow the system to spread to the void, but my powers can create a simulacrum for you to view.” Looming over me, Douglas continued to try and cram tid bits of relevent info into my head. But the only thing i could think about was, was.

The Tentacles...

“NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, DO THAT AGAIN!!!” The rage I felt having been so casually violated, screamed through me but was quickly burned away like morning mist. Behind those thin, round rim, wire, spectacles, just for a second, Douglas' two pale brown eyes became twin holes with a prick of light in the centre, like gazing up from the bottom a well into the sun.

“I will remind you why you are here, because it has become clear that by not taking this seriously you have clearly forgotten. You are here, not because you volunteered or because your special you are here because I am bored, and you can provide me with entertainment. I could have and would have chosen anyone for this task. If you want to keep forgetting why you’re here, then I can make other entertainment out of you?” The last upward lilt symbolising a question that expected a response.

“NO!! Ahem I mean. No of course not I am happy to provide you whatever you need. Please not back in the ball.”

“Good now keep that in mind. What aspect of mine did you get then hmmm? Null? Fathomless? Devourer?” Clear curiosity shining in his eyes, whilst still carrying an implication of menace.

Still shaking slightly but choosing to just try and roll with it till I had time to decompress. I tried the 'usual' triggers that i'd read about in a couple online stories and scoured the edges of my vision till I saw a small glowing sigil of a tentacled face, which with some disgust I mentally clicked it.

………………

Blessing of Douglas - Sojourner of the Void

Aspect: Sloth

This may only be granted by Douglas (S.V.)

Having been blessed by Douglas you have resonated most closely with the Aspect of Sloth. While called the Sojourner by those it has met, Douglas is the void and therefore, need merely shape a form through which he may speak whenever he ‘travels’. As such, the being hasn’t made any significant movements since the first universes bloomed amongst the dark. The blessing grants these traits:

Void bearer

The blessing itself means that you are marked by the void and thus granted limited protection from the void and all malignant powers thereof.

Corrupting Presence

The longer the user stays in one area, the greater the mana efficiency of the user’s skills, spells and traits while in that area, decreasing mana cost. ‘Area’ can be defined as any space with clear boundaries however the larger the area the longer it will take for the mana efficiency to increase. When the user crosses the boundaries and leaves the area the effect resets. The cap is 10% mana cost.

………………

“Sloth.” I simplistically answered, at this point wanting to interact with this deific being as little as possible.

“What? Sloth is not an aspect of mine.” Douglas appeared genuinely confused and reached out grabbing the edge of the screen and spun it round reading the description in only a few seconds before angrily spinning the screen back round.

“How do they expect me to move I am the limit of existence where is there for me to move to!?” He seemed almost exasperated, though with who in particular, I couldn’t tell.

“You! When you live your new life remember I’ll be watching so be entertaining. And enjoy yourself there’s no reason you can’t have fun too.” He appeared to wish to move swiftly on and the smile he gave me was rictus like, as if someone was pulling dead skin up into a smile.

“Now then let’s get you on your way now, times a wasting and I’ve got other projects to keep eyes on. You’ve got some surviving to do.”

Suddenly the man form of Douglas burst and the true behemoth erupted. From within the great expanse beyond the island, which, with a shudder, I realised was the Sojourner’s flesh that stretched to the horizon, there was an equal surge.

"ah not again..."

Completely consuming the island, the swell carried me up, now sealed in a sphere of the dark, hungry substance, I felt like i was in a silent lightless universe, completely, alone.