Saturday, I moped around the house dwelling on my abrupt failure. I’d barged into combat and forgotten until too late, that getting close to the [Tree of Woe] came with side effects. The flashbacks with the ARC’s feedback were literally crippling.

The others should understand since dying to hard bosses was fairly common.

I focused on how to solve the problem. My character needed some actual skills to run fast. Real me barely jogged at a steady pace. Age had robbed me of the desire to be a marathon goer. Plus, I’d never been into that type of cardio. My interests lay elsewhere since high school, which brought me to Sunday and my pending date with Nemesis.

I logged on and immediately got the jitters. The grove was sunny and that couldn’t be a good sign. The [Tree of Woe] still sat on my quest log as a problem. Nemesis had left another note on the alter.

Looking forward to tonight! But clean up first. And try not to die? I know it hurts.

She had a good point. With Continue Online’s realism, being dirty probably wouldn’t end well. Dying’s pain bothered me less than being a walking mud pile for our date. Even if our races and paths encouraged a certain amount of communion with nature, being filthy and foul would still be unattractive. Though, upon thinking about it, Nemesis never smelled bad.

I ventured to the river on an untracked mission of [Don’t Look Like a Hobo]. There I took the longest in game bath I’d taken in months and tried to figure out how to brush my teeth using herbs. The scruffy beard on my character was trimmed down to the neatest mess I could manage. The dogs even helped me find some pretty flowers.

We met outside the only bar in town. Dozen’s of players streamed past us, along with a few Locals were going about their evenings. I didn’t pay them much attention because Nemesis looked far better than I did. She wore a bark “little black dress”. It curved perfectly around a body I had to blink twice at. My lips puckered briefly in barely repressed appreciation.

Nemesis struck first, pointing at my outstretched bouquet of flowers. “Those are adorable. And weird. We shouldn’t pluck flowers, right? But the trimmed beard is cute.”

“I was going for roguishly attractive. And I can replant them. I think.”

“Those clothes aren’t even vaguely roguish,” she smiled.

My cheeks flushed briefly. “But attractive is still up for debate?”

“Maybe.”

The pre-date banter was going great. I’d been around the block to know that was important.

“Well, I would have picked better clothes but my pants selection is nonexistent. I’ve got like four pairs, all cotton, and none of them have a thread count worth mentioning.”

“What?” She laughed, making the bark shake exactly like a dress would have.

Nemesis had slipped up and given into to mirth. That was a win on my end. My pulse quickened but I managed to keep a hopefully charming smile.

“Ready for that drink?” I asked.

She hummed then nodded.

In the history of all my misbegotten relationships, hums and nods went either way. She hadn’t tried to escape or phone a friend yet. Rose hadn’t shown up to stab me. Those were good signs.

Later, after the sun had ditched us and three moons hung above, we slowly walked the dirt path toward the Grove of Midnight. Liquid courage made my mind venture into dangerous questions. Personal topics were sometimes taboo for women on a date.

I coughed as we stepped through a stone archway that marked the end of the free logging area. “The grove part I get. Why the midnight part?”

She shrugged. “It’s my favorite time. No one else is awake. No one else is moving. Just me. Plus I get really, really horny.”

I looked left, right, then up at the moon. “Is it midnight?”

“It’s always midnight somewhere,” she said, then yanked me into her tree house. It was larger on the inside and I barely noticed as she pulled me toward a wall and laid a hungry kiss on my lips.

Our night rapidly went to the next level. I even got that skill Johnny had been on about, much to Nemesis’s delight. We stopped for a real-life break then reunited.

Nemesis sat on a tree branch that curved like a chair. I sat close by, unsure of what distance to keep but perfectly willing to be closer. With the urgency gone, I took a real look around. Her abode in the game seemed like a tiny house. The tree itself had unnaturally smooth walls but the bark showed no signs of being chipped or carved away. Somehow, it’d grown perfectly.

I shook my head. Of course, this was a game and we were in a magical location. This had to be her dryad tree. Naturally it didn’t follow the normal rules.

She eyed me over a cup of digital coffee and smiled. “I didn’t think I’d enjoy that.”

My eyes went wide and heart skipped a beat. Nemesis reached over then patted me on the arm. The mere touch sent goosebumps up my arm and across my bare chest. I should have been chilly but the air felt warm.

“Not you. You did great. I was talking about doing the deed here in a game. But I enjoyed it. Hell, I haven’t had sex last that long in ages. Unless those were some fancy game skills?”

I took a deep breath and smiled. “No. That was all me. At the start. I guess I did a good job and got the actual skill too.”

“I’m pretty good myself,” she said. “Want me to prove it?” Only an idiot would have said no. Down went her drink as we picked up where we left off.

Sunday ended on the best note it had in ages.

For the next few weekends, we continued trying to bring down the seemingly unkillable [Tree of Woe]. It all ended the same way. The [Tree of Woe] couldn’t be stopped. Nemesis fled. The dogs were unsummoned. Rose went down stabbing happily. StoneMason and I died.

On our fourth boss failure, Nemesis suggested we take up jogging. We did that, and our dates continued to get better. We took breaks from the bed and bar to go out into sunlight together. The dogs joining us as we ran a lap around the woods.

For another month in the real world, I ran in game. I ran out in the real world too. Dating a woman who got half my jokes, enjoyed sex, and had gotten past the child desiring stage did wonders for my energy levels. Middle age was looking up.

Eventually the system popped up a message.

Skill gained: [Runner] rank 3.

Title gained: [The Running Man]

For once the [Legacy] system worked in my favor. It helped that my prior Fridays had been invested in running or sneaking around. I opened our little group chat and posted a message.

Friday: New title [The Running Man]. Should be able to kite it.

DapperSeed: Finally. I’ll tell the others. Maybe we can finally put this tree behind us and move on.

Friday: Maybe. Madam LeCroy still isn’t receiving visitors.

DapperSeed: Fine. I’m going to go take all those rings back then.

Friday: No.

Johnny argued with me. I stood firm on the theft. Those rings had gotten me closer to solving [Widow’s Children].

I’d snuck past the evil tree a week ago and still gotten nowhere. The butler had been clear enough to say something would happen, but I needed to wait. Based on my vague knowledge of games and prior characters, “please wait until the time is right” meant “do something unique to trigger an event”.

Part of me started to wonder if I should sneak into the master bedroom and see if that set anything off. I liked my current routine too much to risk upsetting the balance. Nemesis had it all. The grove did its thing. Dari hadn’t dropped any bombshells, preferring to sleep. Even the dogs were getting along with me again.

I kept jogging and practiced some spells StoneMason had put on my list. He wanted me to work on ranking up [Natural Inversion]. No one else was online so I wandered to the river with the dogs and sat down. Without the risk of bounty hunters this place had returned to its normal picturesque

Nemesis: Still on for tonight?

She still was interested in a date, despite my face looking darn ugly in game. The [Beat With Ugly Stick] could apparently be ignored. That meant something.

Friday: Of course, after we try the tree again. I got a new skill and title – hopefully they’ll help. Then our grove will be in peace and StoneMason can stop being forced to rebuild the wall.

Nemesis: Sounds good! :) Do you need me?

Friday: Only in the worst way

Nemesis: Ha. For the Tree? The vines aren’t doing much good and I haven’t figured out anything else. Your quest is too hard. I still can’t believe you carved out all those faces and the game made it a boss monster.

Friday: I guess.

Nemesis: I wonder if I carved all my ex’s faces onto a tree, would it become evil and try to murder people? Maybe I should tell it we’re banging. Do you think they’d attack me instead?

Friday: No good will come of our ex’s battling it out.

Nemesis: It’d be a riot.

I paused then shook my head. Nemesis had dated a lot of guys over the years, so had I. If jealousy over ex’s really bothered me, I’d never make it anywhere in life. One of the many things I’d learned over the years, don’t ever get hung up on the prior relationships. Especially if the breakups were bad.

Nemesis: My tree would win, but I can run a lot faster than you do.

Friday: No, you can’t.

Nemesis: Then why are you always behind me when we jog?

Friday: Guess.

Competing against her in running had far less attraction than watching her bounce along in front of me. The dogs often got in the way but the few glimpses I’d get, coupled with her smiling face when she turned around to see me “being slow” were completely worth it.

Nemesis: I’ll get Rose on then. She’s been a bit better about taking breaks. The dialation helps and he’s napping for hours at a time. Better than the first few months. /shudder

I smiled at the message box but felt a bit out of sorts. Nemesis wasn’t the one with a child, but it still sort of bothered me.

Fridays: Kids are tough.

Nemesis: You never thought about having any?

Almost every woman I’d dated wanted children, had children that were still young, or I’d screw up some other way and our dating life would be over. She’d been great so far and there was a certain beauty in dating older woman.

Regardless, pessimism struck and my eyelids winnowed at the text box. I’d learned it was better to be up front with these things as some women considered them deal breakers. Honesty won out.

Friday: No. Got snipped during boot camp. Didn’t want any little me’s running around.

Nemesis: Why?

“How do I handle this?” I mumbled. “One wrong step and I’ll be doomed.”

The overgrow puppies never answered my mumbling with real words. Sarge’s head tilted to one side. Sleepy yawned. [Animal Understanding] only provided a general sense of hunger, confusion, and sleepiness. Plus, there was this vague sensation of stalking of a small critter with wings.

I looked around to make sure Dari hadn’t escaped, and that he wasn’t being hunted by Trap. That trouble seeking dog had a different winged creature version cornered on a tree trunk. The fact that they left Dari alone had to mean something. All of those thoughts worries were my way of putting off an immediate response. I typed out my default answer.

Friday: Seemed better for the world, especially since I didn’t know when I’d ship out or if I’d live.

Nemesis: Makes sense. After Rose I decided I was done too. No more kids. I kind of miss the option, but there’s no way I’d try to do the single parent thing again

Poor Rose. She was surviving the single parent life. A few of those I’d dated had as well. They always looked tired. My excuse of not wanting to die in the service had validation too. My commander who hadn’t made it, well he’d had three kids who were abruptly fatherless. That was my fault because keeping them alive had been my job.

The thought hit abruptly. My chest tensed and I took deep ragged breathes. Almost two decades later and it still made me shake. Sarge nuzzled my arm. I scratched his head and watched the river for a moment before pulling up my window to see Nemesis’s response.

Nothing stood out. She’d meet us at [Widow’s Children] for another attempt. I thought about the name and my old commander. I thought about that little, cursed ghost girl who’d only been searching for her dad. Once again, I resolved myself to help lift the instance and maybe give them a measure of peace.

I closed out my chat window. I’d mostly kept it open for Nemesis to log into the game. Now that we had made our plans, I could go back to ignoring the group messages.

The dogs and I took our weekly bath. Monthly if we went by game time. After that I led the dogs to their den, left the forest, and summoned their spirit bodies. We jogged toward [Widow’s Children].

The other four were already waiting. The hair footed halfling sat on a chair that might have been stolen from the bar. He spun a slow circle. Rose leaned against a wall and only moved to cover her mouth briefly.

Rose saw me, waved, then shook her head. She stopped then rubbed her eyes. “Time to get going? Great. I’m falling asleep standing here. I’m only here to go gloriously against that thing.”

Johnny nodded at me, then stopped spinning. He swiveled slowly to face Rose. “How are you so happy dying to this over and over? I mean, it got me once ate pulled an arm off. I’ll tell you, I hate combat. Unless I’m paid enough.”

She snorted. “It reminds me of raid bosses on she-who-shall-not-be-named. I love the challenge of something beyond my rank, then beating it into the ground. The rewards are great. The skill increase will be absolutely huge. Dying may set me back but it’s not enough to stress about.”

Johnny shook his head.

“If we can murder this today, or even next weekend, I’ll gain a solid three ranks in knifework. I’m sure of it. More maybe. Footwork with maybe an unlock like wood surfing. Sneak on trees. You know how rare it is to backstab a tree? I might even be able to unlock a hidden path. I mean, that thing has to be at least a rank fifteen party boss.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded and bounced onto tip toes. “At least.”

They rambled on and on about all the possible character gains. That reminded me of my own unused swath of abilities.

I pulled up the spells StoneMason had been trying to get me to use before. [Natural Inversion] reversed the spell following it. That’d take a healing spell and turn it into a rot or shadow damage ability. Ranking up higher would probably impact a second, third, or fourth spell. Doing it enough and combining it with other effects might let me go into negative healer mode.

Between working on running, dating Nemesis, the dogs, and dying; I hadn’t had a chance to sit down and work on new combinations. It’d take me weeks in game to make real progress. Sex had far more appeal.

Hands grabbed my rear. I took it in stride and turned. Nemesis had arrived, looking gorgeous as always.

“Ready to get torn limb from limb by the angry spirits of every girl’s heart you’ve ever broken?”

I was, but it sounded wrong when she spoke about it so nonchalantly. “You know, it’s terrible when you put it like that.”

“Don’t like your current squeeze killing your old ones? I’ve met wilder girls. One of my friends, she plays, but she actually broke into her boyfriends home after she found him back with his wife, burned the face out of every picture of her, and scratched out ‘the best pussy you’ll never have again’ on his couch.”

I glanced at Rose. She stuck a dagger part way down her throat and pretended to gag. Johnny glowered then pushed off the wall to start spinning again.

“It’s weird.” I didn’t comment on what her girlfriend had done. I’d probably dated women of the same caliber.

“I guess it is weird. Doesn’t bother me, I pride myself on being a great catch myself. But if you cross me, I get to kill you! How great is this game?”

I could see where Rose got her attitude from now. There’d been plenty of hints along the way but hearing it out on the open actually made me laugh. Plus, she’d been one of the better girls, by a mile. She had energy, drive, and the dogs got along great with her.

My brain could go in happy circles when thinking about all the ways Nemesis might actually work out. Those positive thoughts were chased by a budding realization that we were simply in the new love stage. In a few more months, we might be at each other’s throats. She’d kill me after we broke up.

Nemesis whispered in my ear, “We take this tree down, and I’ll take you back to the grove and prove to you I’m the best you’ll ever have.”

That’d be a serious challenge but I’d be willing to sacrifice my time so she could try. Especially since internet anonymity meant no breaking and entering to ruin my only good piece of furniture.

“We do this, and I’ll show you a few tricks I’ve been saving,” I responded.

“Deal.”

Our relationship clearly revolved around sex. Neither of us had a problem with that. She practically glowed, and I took a steadying breath and replayed all we’d learned from the last few weekends.

The [Tree of Woe] only had tree tricks. Vines that pulled people down. A mental attack. The screeching wail of a million banshees. We’d made more progress every attempt but once that monster got close enough to me, I fell victim to the mental attacks. [The Running Man] should help. It gave me a bonus to speed while in combat. It’d been the missing piece.

StoneMason walked over slowly. His body had grown bulkier over the last few months of yanking tree roots. The kid’s [Brawn] had probably soared. “Friday.”

“Didn’t figure it out.”

“Damn.” He huffed. “There’s an answer. There. In those spells. Lightning. Shadow. Mixed. Inverted Shadow spells would be. Light. Can, invert curse. Maybe.”

“Maybe next time. But I can kite better now so we can stop dragging this out.”

“Finally.” Rose sighed. “Come on. Let’s go clear it out. We’ll send a message when we’re ready.”

Rose and StoneMason were free to roam the field and clear out other monsters. That was her preferred method of recovering skills lost from the dead penalty. StoneMason had kept getting stronger since the tree couldn’t kill him. His tank like body had been battered against every part of the lawn but the [Tree of Woe] left him on the verge of death.

Johnny went about setting traps. Nemesis and I entertained ourselves. By the time Rose and StoneMason cleared all the little monsters, I started walking funny. They returned in time to see me adjusting my pants and Nemesis smirking like she’d won something.

“Do I want to know?” Rose asked.

“We’re all adults.”

“Some of us use rooms.”

Nemesis snorted. “Please. Remember your last-“

“Mom!” Rose shouted.

That left my tormenter roaring with laugher. Rose fumed. StoneMason rubbed his bald head and blinked slowly. Johnny glowered. I nodded calmly pretended to find the large rusted gates extremely interesting.

They weren’t.

“Got your path picked out?” Nemesis asked me.

“Along the wall like before. My autopilot’s been sneaking in and leveling the ground out to make things easier. Plus, it gets back my skills after death.”

There were a few patches of the instance that had been bumpy, hard to run on, and torn up. Though I detested autopilots, it’d been strangely uneventful every week since we started this crusade. At worst, I’d get a message that my autopilot died and the [Tree of Woe] had calmed down.

Everything had to be ready. I had a clear enough path. Traps were set. Nemesis’s vines were stronger and more agile than ever. The [Tree of Woe] couldn’t catch her. StoneMason’s arms were practically trunk shattering weapons.

I could run like heck. I’d even picked up an ability that helped my heals land. [Guiding Seed of Light] was a weird ability that let me mark people for my heals to fly to. Untouched, they lasted about two hours before turning into small white flowers that reminded me of Lilys. Until then, I could send out any healing spell I wanted and it would swerve toward one a [Guiding Seed of Light]. The downside was the seeds absorbed about half the actual healing as part of their nourishment.

“Hold on. Let me get the pack and anchors out.”

StoneMason’s bobbed. “Mages get those too. Can’t remember. The name.”

“Soul markers. There’s a few versions. Ever seen a Necromancer use them?” Rose and StoneMason shuddered in unison. “She gross,” she finished.

“You’d think. Those would be. Baseline skills. Why is it. So hard at lower. Ranks?”

Rose shrugged. “It’s about earning skills and proving that it’s really what you want to do. Can you imagine the chaos if everything came easy? There’d be rank twenty mage-warrior-blacksmith-rogue-ninja, whatever hybrids that did it all.”

“That sounds. Cool.”

“It’d be neat but Continue Online,” Rose’s explanation turned into mumbling as Nemesis got in closer.

My hands were cupped as I held still. This spell didn’t require tracing a rune or anything else. After a minute, while the others had babbled back and forth, the spell for my [Guiding Seed of Light] started. Specs formed like rolling sweat beads dripping to the center of my cupped hands. They grew in size as white and green special effects turned bits of light into glowing marble sized objects.

I waited until the light show dimmed then threw the mess in the air. Instead of landing on the ground like regular seeds might, these veered straight toward all the nearby people. One to each party member, and another set for the dogs. Of all the spells I’d learned in the game, this was the prettiest.

Sarge sniffed around while the others grumbled. They were getting tired of this place weekend after weekend.

Nemesis eyed her shoulder where the mote of light hand landed. She pressed fingers over it and a flower sprouted out of her bark clothing. “Better actually run. If you’re slow like when jog, that tree will still catch you.”

I smirked. “Relax. I’ve got this.”

For the first time in ages, I felt like that’d been the truth. This was possible. We’d defeat the tree, mark the quest completed, and Nemesis and I would go on a victory lap around the bed, or table, or chairs. Whatever happened to be available.

The others got in position. Nemesis walked calmly toward the mansion. StoneMason and Rose would come in from behind. A vague sensation from [Animal Understanding] told me the freshly summoned pack was ready, and hungry. Very hungry. I made a note to go earn some food in exchange for heals sometime between all my other goals.

I made sure the [Regeneration] runes were in place on the others. My own [Stealth] runes were removed to give me more mana for the others. A [Rune Smith] path could support more at one time but I’d neglected that skill too.

“You don’t have all weekend.” Johnny said.

Both cheeks lifted with a smile. “I know. Thanks.”

My short companion looked around quickly. The others were in position so we had a bit of privacy. He said, “I’m going to be serious for a minute. You and the dryad seem to be hitting it off surprisingly well.”

I nodded then glanced toward StoneMason and Rose. They were chatting peacefully out in the field, waiting for the [Tree of Woe] to come cruising past them.

“If you two get married, I’m your best man. And I’ll even do it for free.”

I snorted. We weren’t even thinking of marriage, in game or out of it. We were simply two adults being annoying and having a great time. Johnny’s offer to do something for free touched me deeply. “Alright.”

“But if you break up afterward, you owe me two thousand gold.”

Any budding tension melted as I laughed and waved him off. He nodded then

We were going to do this.

I took a breath, puffed out my cheeks then bounced up and down. The [Staff of Thaddious] stayed in inventory. It proved useless in surviving the mental attacks and running. Another moment passed as I built myself up, then off I went, along the wall with a slow jog.

The [Tree of Woe] noticed me entering the mansion grounds right away. Ball and Chain dashed past me toward the monster. StoneMason grabbed a root that went flying by him. I turned my attention away and concentrated on keeping a steady pace.

[The Running Man] gave me unlimited stamina while running, but it lowered my maximum speed. It’d help since my main problem was losing steam a few minutes into my flight. I shook it off, threw out a [Edge of Sunrise] heal toward StoneMason, and celebrated as the spell energy curved around me off toward the weaker party members. It was a smaller heal over time that didn’t splash over the entire area like half my other abilities.

That had been StoneMason’s idea. With targeted heals I didn’t need to see, and ones that kept regenerating only one person at a time, I could easily manage. Everyone’s improvements helped.

“Stay calm,” I told myself. “It’s just a jog.”

Sarge barked orders. Ball and Chain dove on a far-reaching tendril shaped root. They clamped jaws around it then tumbled in a spiral that alligators would have been proud of.

Everyone did their parts. I only needed to run and heal. “I got this.”

The mental attacks hadn’t started. Nemesis’s vines bent in a strange wave as I passed by. My last glimpse of them was purple dashing toward the monstrous tree. I kept jogging forward.

Trap pointed his nose at a pitfall. I nodded then stepped over the small two foot gorge that someone had dug. Whittling down the boss proved slow. Familiar crunching sounds echoed as branches broke. The boss should be slowing to recover lost limbs and get its health back. I dared turn around.

Rose’s limber form hung from one hand off a high branch. Her feet kicked wildly at another part of the tree, sending small flakes of bark flaking off. Nemesi’s purple vines had woven a path up one side of the creature’s body. They were like pretty, murderous ivy plants.

Large branches were being pulled by it’s roots toward the tree’s maw. That maw had nothing to do with the dozens of faces carved upon it’s bark. They screamed, but at this distance, all it amounted to was creepy noise.

“I can do this.”

We kept going. The dogs did their part. StoneMason’s newfound [Brawn] kept slowing down the tree and ripping it apart, one thick root at time. Rose screamed, happily I assumed. Or angrily. Her health barely moved so that had to be a good sign

They were a great crew to play this game with. They’d been supportive and were helping. This Friday had found his place.

Happy thoughts kept me going as I rounded the bend of the house’s first half. They fought behind me, and I healed. All I ever needed to know how to do, was get away from the conflict, and heal. It worked in the army. It worked on my day job in dangerous situations. It worked in the game world.

That was it. The game had become stupidly straight forward which meant something should go wrong. I took a deep breath, the latest in a line that went on at least ten minutes.

The third time I turned around, or maybe fourth since I’d lost track, the monster had gotten no closer than it started. Its limbs were nearly broken beyond repair. Any health it had dwindled to nearly zero. My lead stayed comfortable.

Nemesis’s vines covered every inch of the monster. It’s face buried under plants that sapped it’s strength. Rose stopped trying to get at the [Tree of Woe]. Her arms crossed in dissatisfaction. She glared at her mother.

I cheered but turned back toward my path, keeping my distance in case this whole thing was a ruse. The tree might have an enrage attack when it’s health got low, or some other weird game mechanic. It’s be just like Continue Online to drop bad news after I thought we were clear.

Nemesis: It’s dying. It can’t move.

Friday: ???

Nemsis: StoneMason got the last of it’s limbs. He says it’s completely immobile.

The dogs were perplexed at the lack of fight. Or maybe I projected my own confusion over [Animal Understanding]. I stopped jogging and walked. Out came the [Staff of Thaddeus] to help support me. My legs felt sore enough to cry. That run had been boot camp all over again.

I threw a healing spell on myself. Pain vanished, replaced by a pleasant tingling sensation that reminded me of mint-based ointments.

Nemesis: Come back.

Friday: Okay.