The air was dusty and dry, like the floor of the room they’d stepped into. Alex took point, sword drawn, but all he could see were rocks, short dried-up trees, and a concrete floor. It was a room about thirty feet around, like the bottom. He poked at the sand-covered floor cautiously, but it appeared there was nothing here. The staircase was just there, coated in pale sand.

“I am filled vith more apprehension than if there vas an ambush.” he growled, staring at the stone steps.

“What gives? There’s nothing here.” Lina said,the last one to step through.

“Oh, right! Don’t worry, this’s just a-” Mayhew started, but a rumbling drowned him out as the door slammed shut.

And drown was the appropriate word, as a river of water rushed down the stairs, more than even came from the books. The Vampires screamed and tried to pry the door open, the water already to their hips, but it refused to budge. Mayhew sighed as the water quickly overtook them, submerging them completely.

They all tried to hold their breath, but Mayhew tapped Jamie on the shoulder. The Priest was just standing normally.

“Yeah, this’s a weird room. Don’t worry about air.” he said, perfectly clear.

“Wha? This’s…” Jamie said, hopping. He could feel the water, warm and flowing around him. But it didn’t impede his movements at all, and he could breathe as usual. He could even see through it like air, but the edges of the horizon were murky. Wait, horizon?

“Vhat the *bleep*...” Alex muttered, taking in the sight.

The water was clear, barely feeling wet at all. The small, empty room had widened considerably, transforming into a vast undersea vista, multicolored coral reefs, filling out and blooming the strange trees. Fish swam above, glittering and beautiful, as crablike creatures scuttled on the sand below. Underwater grass had sprouted, the crabs snipping some and carrying it away in woven baskets on their backs. The pop-up declared them to be Constructicrabs.

“They’ve got a miniature civilization a couple miles that way. It’s cute as heck.” Father Mayhew said, pointing.

“Wow! Huh, they’re all level 99, even the regular fish. They must’ve simply raised the level of everything in here to max.” Jamie said as the BGM in their heads changed to steel drums.

“It’s not the brainless fish that I’m worried about.” Lina said, drawing Hellcrusher. She scanned the area, looking for threats. “Is this gonna slow down swings and stuff?” she asked the Priest.

“Nah, everything’s designed to mostly function like air. It’s an underwater adventure, but we all collectively decided to make everything function as normal, because *bleep* water levels.” Mayhew said with surprising venom. Lina was taken aback, especially with Jamie and Alex vigorously nodding their heads.

They pressed forward cautiously, admiring the undersea scenery but continuously looking out for attack. Great leviathans swam above them and in the distance, but they only encountered varieties of fish, fantastical or not. Of course, with the sheer surrealness, color, and diversity of some, it was tough to tell which was which. Mayhew led them through the waves, guiding them past obstacles and dangers.

“I didn’t put everything here, but a lot of the coral reefs and formations were my design. I needed Zima’s help with the water, she always does it best, but I’m particularly proud of the kelpies, the half-horse fish. Look, a scherd of them right now!” he said, pointing to a group of equine piscines gallop-swimming about two hundred feet away.

“‘Scherd?’” Lina asked with a raised eyebrow.

“We couldn’t decide whether to call them a school or a herd. So we mixed the terms.” Mayhew said, with a slightly embarrassed chuckle.

“That’s very vell and good, but is anyvun else concerned that ve haven’t seen any opposition yet?” Alex asked, still glancing around with his sword drawn. He didn’t like it. They had gone too far without the enemy showing themselves.

“M-Maybe we got lucky and they’re counting on the pumped-up monsters to beat us?” Mayhew said weakly. “Speaking of which, don’t follow them, they’ll tear you apart.” he said sternly to Jamie, staring at a school of mermaids swimming enticingly and beckoning him closer.

“R-Right.” the Magus said nervously. They eventually drew closer to the stairs, the last level before them. Jamie gripped his staff, white-knuckled and pale-faced. This was it. Lizzy, how happy she would be to see him. Then his thoughts turned to the other member of the household. His father. He remembered too well his father’s swift hands. He swallowed. And to even get back, they only had to get through the strongest player in the game, armed with maxed-out stats and super speed. He started to shake and tremble. He tried to calm down and steady himself, but no matter what he couldn’t stop. His knees were filled with jelly and his feet were lead, every step closer to those stairs felt like one step closer to the gallows.

“Boy.” Jamie was suddenly jostled, jolted from his dark reverie. Alex looked at his face and clucked his tongue, letting the other two move in front. “Nervous?”

“Y-Yeah. This, this’s for all the marbles. Do...do you get scared or nervous, too?” he asked. He knew soldiers and police and stuff said they were scared when they went into the fray.

“Hmph. Not in the slightest.” the vampire scoffed, and grinned at Jamie’s visible confusion. “Fear and unease are for mortals. I am beyond that. Live through enough *bleep*, you vill too. I merely had the advantage of a longer life. Vorry, yes. But time after time, experiencing so much of it, the fear, the hesitation...fade. They become...familiar, expected. Unimportant. Annoying distractions that you rid of yourself of. I have no time for such thoughts, not vhen my brain could be used for victory. That is how you become immortal. Not through vampirism, but through your iron vill. Stay strong, keep your head, and you vill never fall. You can live through anything. Even mortals can know this. Do you understand, Jamie?” he asked, looking up at the downcast boy.

“Uh...yeah, I think. I kinda get it.” Jamie said, turning and mulling it over. Alex grabbed his shoulder and yanked him down, forcing him to look in his eyes. This would not do. The boy had to know.

“No! You don’t! Don’t lie to me, boy!” Alex snarled in Jamie’s ghost-white face. Jamie had never seen the pure fury of the vampire before. If it hadn’t been in virtual reality, he might have pissed himself in terror. “You are my disciple! So therefore, you vill do as I instruct! You are going to proclaim yourself immortal! Is that understood?”

“Y-Y-Y-Y-Yessir!” Jamie squeaked, trying to shrink back. Alex didn’t let him, dragging him back up.

“Then how did I not hear it? Proclaim vhat you are!”

“I-I-Immortal?” Jamie meeped, earning him a frustrated shake.

“No! That’s not it!” he snarled.

“H-Huh?” Jamie was nearly in tears.

“I did not tell you to say it! You must proclaim it!”

“W-What?” But there wasn’t a difference!

“You cannot merely say something like that. You must shout it to the vorld! Believe it wholeheartedly! Tell the vorld, tell destiny itself vhat vill happen, and you vill not fall! Vhat are you, Jamie?” Alex said.

“I-Immortal?”

“Louder!”

“I-Immortal!”

“Say it again!” Alex shouted.

“I’m immortal!”

“Vhat are you, Jamie? Vhat are ve all?” Alex said, grinning.

“We’ll never fall! ‘Cause we’re god*bleep* immortal!” Jamie screamed from the bottom of the virtual sea to the top, bubbles coming out and floating away as he proclaimed their inevitable victory. He stood there, shaking and panting, staring at Alex with scared eyes, but a clear heart. The vampire nodded.

“Ve have come too far to fail now. Ve vill find a vay to vin, no matter vhat.” he said quietly.

“Yeah!” Jamie shouted.

“Y’better hurry up, or we really will lose!” Lina called form halfway up the stairs, a smile on her face. She certainly couldn’t have done that for him. Jamie was looking pumped, not as freaked. She sighed and turned back towards the door to the final level. This was it. This was-a sword zooming into her face.

She desperately threw herself back, Mayhew pulling her too. They left the stairs, drifting down in the water to land with a thump on their feet. Alex and Jamie were there too, drawing weapons.

“Eliminate all intruders.” a half-shark woman said, swimming up faster than they could walk. Teri had shifted into a form that was appropriate. The Vampires all felt a sinking sensation as more girls descended from the waves above.

“Eliminate all intruders.” A thirteen-year-old girl said, flanked by a level 99 fairy and wolf, riding on the back of a Sea Scourge, a multi-flippered serpent with teeth as tall as Allocrax. Also level 99. They all were.

“Eliminate all intruders.” the rest of the girls said in unison, drifting from above like angels without mercy. Marie rocked her guitar ominously, providing an unknown bonus to the girls. Their stats had been maxed out already.

“S-She’s reducing the cooldown for their magic.” Jamie said unhelpfully.

“This Is less than optimal.” Alex growled. There were seven-no, ten of them, including those monsters the little girl had. He raised his sword, cursing them all. Sannon sped to the front, clashing their blades together. It was a -8 just from blocking her, and he was pushed back into the party.

“Duck!” Jamie screamed as Aggie raised her staff and shot a Starpreme spell at them. They managed to do so, the enormous laser blazing overhead, hitting a distant point and exploding like a nuke.

“Scatter!” Alex cried, knowing their odds were slim at best. They were outnumbered over two to one, and each member of Primrose Boulevard had stats dwarfing theirs. He snarled as he lashed out furiously at their Raider, the samurai-patterned redhead. Her swordplay was quick as her face was dull, but it was obvious she was amateur at best. Alex drew on the literal centuries of fencing expertise he had. Her katana was as lighting, but it was no matter. After all, even lightning couldn’t hit a target that wasn’t there.

He weaved almost effortlessly and gracefully through her strikes, his own almost an afterthought, but with a frown as each hit for 1 damage apiece, and she had 10,782 hit points remaining. Doable? Perhaps, he considered as he sidestepped a strike that rent the sandy seafloor. He spared a glance for the rest of his team: Lina was raining down fruitless blows upon a shield erected by the Priest, Jamie was running from the Sea Scourge, and Mayhew was burning through his spell crystals and chugging mana potions at an alarming rate. He glanced at the door, ducking Shannon’s sword with an almost preternatural awareness. Time was running out. Just as that bastard had planned.

“I need to get up there! Keep them busy!” he shouted, leaning into Shanon’s body and tipping her over in a perfect throw. He tried to dash off, but her hand clamped around his ankle. He slipped out of her grip when her sword sliced at him, but she was on her feet faster than he was.

“How!?” Jamie cried, sprinting for all he was worth, an oversized wolf and leviathan snapping at his heels.

“No one shall disturb Lord Lucien. Eliminate all intruders.” Shannon repeated, swinging her sword. He rolled his eyes. It was a blade, not a bat!

Spinning on his foot, Alex twisted with her strike, rolling along her shoulder until they were back-to-back. He glared at the scene, unable to fault Jamie’s question. He ducked as the one with the witch hat threw a spell, nailing the redhead instead. Shannon shook it off emotionlessly, but Alex was no longer there.

The lad had a good point. Outnumbered and outmatched, there was little they could force the girls to do. Marie sent a shockwave of sound in his direction, forcing him to veer to the left-into the redhead’s waiting katana! He shrieked, his momentum carrying him, unable to stop or dodge as the blade sliced at his chest to cut him in two. His sword couldn’t be raised fast enough, no time for magic, he needed a miracle! He needed-

An arrow hit the hilt of the katana, shooting it out of her hands. He fell harmlessly to the sea floor, and they both looked over to see the final member of Primrose Boulevard.

“Hmph. You always were a knuckle-headed fool, Shannon.” Izumi said, targeting reticles in her eyes.

“Eliminate all intruders.” Alyssa said as she threw a beaker of volatile explosives at her. A similar vial was tossed from over Izumi’s shoulder to meet it, the resulting blast knocking them all over. Shannon, more used to riding shockwaves than the rest of her group, dashed forward to strike them down with one hit apiece.

“Eliminate all in-” ERROR.

Everyone watched astonished as a figure clad all in black with a mask and a scarf waved a sword at her, making the barest of contact as she dodged to the side. Shannon exploded into data.

“W-What!” Jamie cried, unable to believe his senses.

“Max, covering fire, keep them pinned down while you deal with Teri. Izumi, support shots while I deal with the ranged fighters. Go!” he commanded, and Max threw up bottles and jars of glowing liquids.

“Rain of Arrows!” Izumi said, firing one arrow into a hundred, piercing the bottles to rain not just arrows, but acid, fire, explosions, and goo that formed into spikes. The man in black ran as the Vampires took cover, slashing the Sea Scourge Katie had.

“Elimin-ahh!” She was thrown violently from the beast as it exploded, disappearing in one hit.

“TERI!” Max bellowed, throwing grenades. “I’ve come for you!”

“Eliminate all intruders.” she said flatly, swimming up to pummel him. Her fist collided with a shield he held out and he was knocked back, -247. He glared with determined eyes, resolving to get her back no matter what.

Jamie blinked his own. That black sword, something was wrong. Lucien was one-shotting things too, but their HP dropped normally, even if it was almost instant. But that didn’t happen when that guy attacked. It was like it instantly-

“Ahh!” In a flash of light, Shannon reformed in front of him, looking up at him with red eyes even colder than Alex’s.

“Eliminate all intruders.” Her sword was raised, but came down on the man in black’s, disappearing into data when they met.

“What?”

“That’s enough of that.” Swipe, Shannon was dead again. Jamie gaped. He’d heard that voice before. It couldn’t be!

“D-Devlin Richelu!?” he exclaimed. The figure smirked and removed his mask, revealing none other than the game designer himself.

“This horrible mess has gone on too long. I’m putting an end to it.” He dashed and struck down Aggie and Sherry. Jamie saw his stats. Level 62 Raider. The stat screen for his legendary sword simply read: Fantasy’s End. Destroys anything struck. “Yes, an end to it all.” Devan said sadly.

“You go have fun vith that!” Alex called from the staircase, disappearing through the door. Everyone stared at it swinging shut in silence.

“When did he-!?” Lina shouted. That bastard! He’d left them behind, using the confusion caused by Devan’s appearance!

“Eliminate all intruders.” Marie said, pointing her guitar.

“C’mere you!” Lina roundhouse kicked her sixty feet away. “What’s that *bleep* thinking!”

“I don’t know, but he won’t beat Lucien without this!” Devan said, speeding forward with Fantasy’s End at the ready.

“Sorry, but he won’t be beating Lucien, any kind of sword or no.” Lucien suddenly found himself wrapped in seaweed, holding him down. A quick touch with the sword freed him, but now there was a Bard hovering in front of the door, his hands on a virtual keyboard and a sick smile on his face. “No one will! No one can! So I suggest we all sit down and wait for the end to be over. Sound nice?” Hansen cawed.

“He was with that trash at the party!” Lina shouted, blocking hits from a resurrected Shannon and Marie with the flat of her blade, Jamie and Izumi behind her. They shot arrows and magic, not to mention magic arrows around her. They were dealing damage, but all enemy health bars were still green. Those stats were too high to overcome! It wasn’t fair!

“Then he dies too!” Max shouted, chucking a grenade at him before trying to grapple with Teri again. Hansen pressed a button, and the grenade stopped in midair, reversing direction back to the Alchemist. “Uh-oh. Sorry babe!” He ducked behind Teri, who took the explosion head-on without flinching.

“Eliminate all intruders.” she muttered dispassionately.

“Ah-hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! Fools! I’m the Radiant Dawn’s chief programmer! In here, I control the Alpha and the Omega! I am a living god!” he cackled madly, causing reality to shake as sea monsters were generated, surrounding the Vampires. Until they burst into data, Devan’s sword flashing darkly.

“I’m an atheist.” he said, leaping at the floating programmer. Hansen just grinned and flew higher.

“Oh, you will believe! You won’t have much choice soon. In fact, I’ll show you!” Hansen crowed. A giant screen popped up above them.

It showed a silver throne, a black-haired Knight lounging on it, seemingly bored. His legs were crossed and he rested his head on his fist, despite the simple opulence around him. Suddenly he grinned as footsteps drew closer, and a door was opened.