Before Helen gets the chance to open the door she steps on the tail of a large green weasel. It hisses and swipes at her, revealing large paws with huge claws at the end of each toe. Helen shrieks and jumps back to Winnie’s side while Winnie steps forward to block her from the creature. It stands as tall as her waist and stretches out in front of us. My eyes watch it as the claws extend from the large paws which lead to the short, muscular front limbs. From there I notice the dark green color of the fur on its long back and the less muscular back limbs that soon also stretch much smaller feet than the front. Its long neck turns up toward Winnie and stares expectantly. Winnie waves her hand to the side and it slinks away in the direction she ordered it to. Helen is able to open the door once again and as we pass through I notice the bright light gleaming in the weasel’s eyes, showing the intent glare within the orange orbs. “Come,” Winnie calls softly and it slips through our small group to arrive between Winnie and myself.

Through the door the bright light dims as my eyes adjust. Right outside is what I can only assume is a bustling city. Dirt roads pass between all sorts of stone and metal buildings gathered close together. A common theme with all buildings is that there’s at least one wall covered in some type of plant. Even the wall next to me. I can tell that stacked on top of the metal there’s a layer of dirt held together with the roots of some type of flowering vine. Pulling my attention away from the wall I then take into account the large groups of people within view. They’re filing in and out of the buildings, running down streets, or moseying around like they have nothing better to do than just walk. Needless to say this is the most amount of people I’ve seen in my entire life. It feels more crowded than a forest and I would rather go back inside.

Every once in a while a few stop and bow their heads to Winnie and a man standing by the door. This man is at most a head taller than me and although he has wide shoulders his muscular structure isn’t bulging like a few other really tall men I see walking around. He has gray hair falling past his shoulders and an ivory complexion on his face, he’s probably within his mid thirties. His eyes are narrow and calculating, holding a light gray color within. His face is almost slender but not without a chiseled masculine jawline, straight nose, and thin lips. All in all I think he’d be considered handsome. Winnie smiles at him and his eyes become softer as he uncrosses his bare arms. His light brown vest has a crest on the left side and I notice that Winnie has the same crest on a necklace barely above the neckline of her long, orange dress. It looks like a sphere covered in tribal markings. This sphere is held in two hands while all this is contained in a bold lined square.

I’m jostled out of my thoughts by the weasel brushing past me toward an approaching figure. He has a brown vest similar to the gray haired man and dirty black pants tucked into leather boots. The weasel stops him and he stands at attention in front of it. After this action the weasel returns to Winnie’s side, this time between her and the gray haired man. “What is it, Desmond?” The gray haired man speaks with a low voice to match his height.

“Sir Lowell, there’s a request for your presence at the Draioch embassy.”

“Is it from Fergus?” The gray haired man, Sir Lowell, responds sharply. And the man nods with reluctance. Sir Lowell sighs with exhaustion and turns to Winnie. “It looks like he wants another match,” he glanced at me for a moment. “I’ll try to make him wait until tomorrow. See you later, Winnie.” He bends over so far he almost looks like he’s bowing and kisses Winnie on the forehead. She takes his face within her small hands and stands on her toes to kiss him on the mouth. It doesn’t last long but it’s still awkward for everyone present, not including the weasel. The vested man looks away and catches my eye. His eyes open wide before he looks further away to the side with a stressed look on his face. He has dark green hair cut short, a light brown complexion, and a square face. Although he’s a few meters away I can see he has olive green eyes under his bold, dark green eyebrows. I wonder about his element. Everyone within sight has some sort of strange color hair or eyes I’ve never seen, if not brown or black. Those with brown or black colored hair are also much taller than everyone else. Through this, I can assume all these things have to do with elements. I wonder about Sir Lowell though.

I don’t have much time to wonder since he’s already far ahead of us along with the green haired man. Winnie then places her hand on my back, causing me to jolt in surprise, and she leads me down one side of the street before retracting her hand. Without any words, Winnie, the weasel, and I navigate through a loose crowd of people. My anxiety grows at the sheer number that seems to grow with each building we pass. “There’s a tournament this week, a lot of people from the outskirts come here to watch or participate.” Winnie seems to have noticed me getting closer to her and continues with an amused smile, “calm down, they’re not going to hurt you.” Angry at how she makes fun of my unease I make some space between the two of us - not too much though. To my surprise, no one gets close to me. I catch glimpses with strange eyes I can’t decipher but even those who don’t look at me swerve out of my way. The same thing seems to happen to the other earth elementals within the crowd. Everyone else must be afraid of getting stepped on or knocked around by a stray limb. Winnie seems to have the ability to part a crowd as well; even if the space around us is a bit bigger compared to everyone else, it’s more of a relief.

As we pass person by person, building by building, I notice more things about the atmosphere here. It’s quite lovely. The stone and metal on the buildings are sculpted into designs and sometimes figures. Each plant adorning the two to three story towers differ from one another. I say that the buildings tower even if they’re only two to three stories (which should only be a bit bigger than the family barn back at home) because each floor is much bigger than normal. Even in contrast to earth elementals they’re considered pretty big; in comparison to the other elementals the doorways themselves are gigantic.

The people are quite lively as they’re bustling around without much care. Their clothes are generally clean and usually vibrant. The styles vary from somewhat extravagant to cleanly cut and simplistic. I get the feeling that no one here has any troubles whatsoever. The hair colors and skin tones vary from the palest of whites to rich tones to pitch black. The diversity of color from clothes to hair to everything else almost puts me in a daze. Suddenly the crowd thins out and I can breathe much better. I feel my arms relax as I didn’t realize I had them nervously held in front of me. My shoulders drop from their tension and my steps almost come to a stomp until I focus on keeping them light. I hate how my feet stomp around under my weight.

“We’re almost there,” Winnie tells me and I wonder where we’re going in the first place. I was so caught up in my nerves that I didn’t realize anything else. I could have probably slipped away from her but I immediately remember that I have no other place to go.

“Madam Winifred,” calls out a small, light blue haired, young girl standing at the doorway to a huge two story building covered with steel fixtures as well as sculpted stone. She stands as tall as Winnie’s brow and shaped like a pear, wide hips with a thin torso. Her light blue hair is cut at her chin and curls inward toward her face. Her face itself exudes innocence and sweetness. She reminds me of a spring pouring over rocks - calming.

“Phoebe, please prepare the innermost bedroom,” Winnie speaks without much emotion as she meets with the young girl.

“Yes, Madam,” Phoebe bows slightly before opening the door for us. It’s almost strange how soft and light her voice is. Winnie leads me inside a large room more than half the size of my whole house. The walls are a strange color of blue stone while also filled with large paintings of landscapes. In the center is a large glass sculpture of a man fighting with a woman - at a very close proximity wearing nothing but glass flames.

“I made this in memory of the day Lowell and I first met.” Winnie has a warm nostalgic look to her eyes. “We were trying to recruit him to help us establish this country and unite the elemental tribes,” she laughs silently, “he said he’ll decide after we prove ourselves. Apparently only a few of us gave him any challenge but it was enough. I fell in love with him during that fight, he was so meticulous, cunning, and strong.” She glanced over to me, “not to mention handsome. In his elemental form he’s not only striking but domineering as well, like a god of war.” I can tell just how in love she is with this man, disturbingly so. Her face conveys a sense of ecstasy as well as a bit of madness. In a moment she snaps back to a calm, warm demeanor, pretending like her break in character never happened. “I’ll give you a tour of the house.”

Winnie leads me through the entryway to a room filled with plush furniture and small side tables. It has less metal but more stone and it’s where they entertain company. Next are studies for both her and Sir Lowell, several bedrooms with large, stone framed beds fit for five people at the same time. I’m surprised that the second floor is able to hold me as well as everything else and attribute it to the stone and metal this place is made of. Her bedroom has a similar situation but with metal posts and frames for their bed. In all, the house has six large bedrooms, two dens, two rooms for entertainment, a sun room, and a basement used as a stockroom. Lastly was a garden in the back filled with flowers, shrubs, and small trees. This is all very impressive but there’s something bothering me.

“Where’s the kitchen? And what about the toilets?” I ask. It’s certainly something to worry about. For a moment Winnie takes her eyes off of the frolicing weasel and stares at me in confusion. After that brief moment her eyebrows rise like she remembered the basic necessities of life.

“Oh, Feline,” she smiles like she’s thinking ‘you poor ignorant thing’. “Elementals don’t need to eat and certainly don’t defecate.” The way she speaks is like she’s telling a child that people can’t fly. Of course I’m confused. “As long as we have our elements we have no need to eat, unless pregnant. You’re not pregnant are you?” She asks seriously.

“No!” I can’t help but shout, “I’ve never had children or... done such things!” Winnie chuckles at my angry tone. I want to storm off out of embarrassment.

“I can’t help but think so,” she defends herself. “It’s impossible for elemental women to develop breasts without eating and we’re unable to eat until our first pregnancy. Since you have such large breasts I figured… wait, it might be because you were once human.” She stops to think with her arms crossed and one on her chin. “I wonder if you were somehow able to digest your original human body while forming your elemental one. It makes sense unless there was blood, flesh, and bone scattered about when you transformed.” She glances at me, “was there?” I shake my head tensely, I think I would have noticed such gore. “Well, then,” she lowers her arms and goes to the weasel to pat it on the head, “it must be that your human body was digested by your elemental body and sent it to your breasts as nectar as a result - I probably should say that nectar is a secondary source of energy for elementals.” I notice how she has a small but existent chest and she giggles, “Lowell likes them. Oh, and I advise you to not give any nectar out until we figure out if it’s normal or not.”

“Not happening!” I find myself shouting again. Really, are all elementals this casual about such topics? I can’t help but to imagine what she means by giving out nectar and dash away that image as soon as it pops up.

“Calm down,” she waves a hand at me, “it’s not like you have to in the first place. It’s just that it’s normal around here. Some women with more potent nectar choose to sell it and it’s a popular commodity for warriors trying to get stronger.” My face twists in disgust and she gives a short laugh.

“I think I need to lie down,” along with everything that’s happened I suddenly get extremely tired.

“Sure,” Winnie nods. “I’ll take you to your room.” We left the garden with the weasel romping around by itself. Shortly after she took me to the innermost room of the house and let me in. “Tomorrow we’re going to buy clothes for you, get some rest.”

As soon as she closes the door my fatigue escalates into exhaustion. I see the bed but hesitate. I’ve never slept in an actual bed before; I’ve always slept in my carved out hole since I break any normal bed I lay on. The blankets remind me of the old quilts Mama made for me and my body grows heavy.

Mama.

I miss Mama.

I miss Papa, Uncle, Aunt, brothers, sisters, and cousins. I miss Ethan and training him. I miss the way he pranced around with the carriage behind him. I miss all the dogs. I miss the crops, pigs, and chickens. I miss playing those annoying games with the toddlers. I miss the woods. I miss so much, even the bears, wolves, foxes, and everything else that made farming harder. I miss our little house, our old barn, that well. I miss Mama.

I want to cry. I need to cry but I can’t. My face feels hot and it hurts from my twisted expression but the tears won’t come. It hurts! My heart hurts. Why can’t I cry?! I could cry before and Mama would comfort me. When I was little she’d hold me and when I grew older she’d wrap her arms around me; I need that now. I need my Mama and I need to cry. Only soft whimpers come forth and quickly change strength. I fall to the ground and hold myself as I shake. Of course I can’t cry, I’m not human anymore. I don’t shit like a human, I can’t eat like a human, who knows if I even have a heart?

My breathing is getting out of control and I try to calm it down. I begin to wonder, do I even have lungs? I’m afraid to test this out but I need to know, I just need to. I hold my breath, hoping for the pressure to build up in my chest, waiting for the pain. There’s no pain, I don’t know how long I’ve been waiting but there’s no pain. I don’t even need to breathe. Like a rejection I take a breath with all my might and continue to breathe in defiance.

There’s no connection to me and humanity anymore. The blood bond between us is gone completely. I have nothing. They were my life. Everything I knew revolved around them.

My sobbing softens and without warning I fall asleep.

The only way I know that I fell asleep is because I’m in my core again. I’m truly tired in mind as well as in body and I just want to sit on the soft earth. Gradually, I hunch over and notice that I’m in my elemental form now. A harsh bitterness invades my mind making me no longer simply sad, guilty, or homesick. Bitterness leads to hatred and my hatred leads to sadness once again while mixing with the other emotions. Suddenly disrupting my brooding is a black vine climbing up my leg. Actually, nearly a dozen are clinging to me and slowly moving around. Wherever they move I can see my magma cool into a darker color from under my clear skin. It seems that they’re thriving off of the heat. It makes sense since they grow in a place like this (even if I’m sure this is all in my head). They do grow amazingly close to the magma without touching it. I wonder what kind of plant this is.

At a time like this I realize that my mood has changed simply because of these thin vines. I wonder if they’re taking in all my anger too. As I watch them I see small black leaves begin to grow, little bundles of them. A smile unconsciously appears on my face and I’m glad. I’m glad because I’m needed again. That was my whole purpose in life, helping my family. While I worked, learned, and even planned for the future. Eleanor and Miranda’s marriages were partly a benefit for the whole family since tradition dictates that the family who gains a member must give something in return. There were also connections to the people in relation to their new families. I was supposed to do the same: get married, family would receive the gift, and would also use my husband’s connections in business. Everything was for my parents’ benefit. I felt needed, essential, helpful.

Now, I’m of no use to anyone but these little vines. They almost don’t count because they’re part of my core, essentially myself. Haha, I needed support from myself and in turn fulfilled that need to be needed. Wait, does that make sense? It almost does. It’s just strange: I’ve lived my whole life towards the goal of supporting my family and now I have no one to support but myself. Can I live for myself? How do I do that? I can’t accept the idea of living for the sake of living, it’s meaningless to me. What do I want?

After a long time of following my own web of thoughts I come up with an answer. There’s a war going on over there and I have no idea if anyone is even alive anymore. What I want is to protect my family. I want to protect them because it would make me feel better. Even if I’m no longer physically related to them I still love them with everything I have. I may not stay with them for the rest of eternity but all I want right now is to keep them safe from the war. That is what I want - I have decided. But first, I need to find out where I am and how to get back home.