《Serenity of the Crow》Ch. 7 I: A Cowardly Goodbye
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"That despicable woman!! I can’t believe she’s made such a horrible thing!” Lady Aqua's fist slammed into her massive oak desk that sat in front of the study’s enormous window. "Does she not even understand the risks of what she is doing?!"
It was two hours after the demonstration, and Lady Aqua was still fuming. They had moved to her private study; a room that was packed with floor to ceiling shelves, each bulging with musty ancient books. The warm tone of the maple wood complimented the royal blue carpet beautifully, while the high vaulted ceiling was painted as a bright blue sky. Indigo had many fond memories of lying on the dusty carpet surrounded by books; here she usually felt caught between the sea and the sky, a cool, gentle feeling.
But today the atmosphere was nothing like that. Indigo watched her mother with concern, head bowed as the senior witch exploded in anger. She had been Aqua's adopted daughter for nearly 15 years now but in all that time she had never seen her lose her temper like today. But she couldn't blame her; despite the fact that the demonstration was hours ago, the horrified expressions of the captured creatures still replayed in her own mind. She couldn’t tear her eyes off the tiny red hat that now lay on Aqua’s desk.
"What was the fey goblin saying?"
Aqua paused at her quiet question.
"It was begging to let the wolf go. Some creatures develop relationships that go far beyond a symbiotic one, especially fey. Those two were bonded partners; something far more meaningful."
Aqua snorted, her anger rising again.
"Of course Lady Snow would never know that. Anything not human enough for her is just a mindless animal. She would never dare to imagine that they had language or culture."
“She-she looked like she didn’t even realize how cruel she was being…”
“For Lady Snow, the end justifies the means. She once told me that… ‘Cruelty in our work is a necessary evil.’” Aqua spat on the ground beside her. “That hag doesn’t even look for alternatives. She always claims to be working for the greater good, but she only ever does what’s easiest for herself.”
Shocked by her words, Indigo raised her head to look at the leader of the Caeruleus Witch Sect. In her mind Aqua was a gentle mother and an important mediator between the leaders of the other sects whenever a council meeting was held. Indigo knew there were some council members she preferred over others, but she had always been careful with her words when discussing them. But the demonstration had shaken her; infuriating to the point where Lady Snow’s position as leader of the Albus Sect no longer mattered. Indigo tried to calm her down.
“Please Mother, it’s not too late. I’m sure we can still find a way to stop Snow from distributing that compound; maybe we can convince the Imperial Generals to give the contract to someone more responsible.”
Lady Aqua looked at the young anweiran woman before her. From any angle she looked like a normal human, but a pair of small curved antlers that sprouted out of the top of her head betrayed her species. Indigo usually kept them neatly tucked under a large traditional witch hat, self conscious of the attention they brought. Her large dark blue eyes peered out from under its wide brim, matching the midnight blue hair that curled into a large braid. It was a face full of innocence and naivety accentuated by a smattering of freckles.
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But Aqua knew Indigo was much smarter than she let on, or even realized herself. Even her rivals and enemies were jealous of her daughter’s talent; the girl lived and breathed witchcraft. Even so, Indigo still had a lot to learn. Too much to learn, and after today’s demonstration Aqua realized she did not have nearly enough time. A wave of exhaustion suddenly overcame her and she sank down behind her desk.
“I’m old Indigo. I know I don’t look it but I’m at least over a thousand. I can’t even remember the exact number anymore.” She sighed and ran a hand through her long pastel blue hair.
“Witching… witching has changed a lot in that time. We went from village healers, to feared as demonic hags, and now respected Magicologers. In my lifetime I’ve been beloved, feared, revered and oppressed.”
Indigo was shocked; witches never revealed their actual age, as magic made sure a witch could look however they chose.
“You know, two hundred years ago I thought everything would change for the better.” Aqua gave a dry laugh. “My best friend and the greatest witch I ever knew married the Emperor. She sacrificed her immortality so that we would no longer be oppressed. And it worked. We were finally acknowledged as legitimate magic practitioners. We were no longer being burned at the stake or drowned in ponds because of whatever made up myth the ignorant told themselves. We were allowed to join the Royal Academy and form sects. We could even start actively recruiting new apprentices. I thought… I thought all the suffering was finally worth something.” She sighed again and rubbed her forehead. “Where did we go wrong…”
Indigo suddenly felt that Aqua looked very lonely, lonelier than any human she had ever seen before. She hesitantly reached out a hand and awkwardly patted her mother’s hand. But Aqua’s words nonetheless confused her.
“Mother, nothing has changed. We’re still at the Royal Academy, and witches have never been more respected.”
Aqua gave another hollow laugh. “Nothing has changed? I wonder… you know we used to earn our respect. We worked hard to make sure we could help anyone who needed it, without charge. We had no use for wealth, power and fame; only living off the gratitude of those we helped. But now…?”
She sighed yet again and rested her chin on her hand, deep in thought. Indigo kept quiet, waiting for her to continue. It was very rare for her mother to mention anything related to the past, especially the Witch-Queen Cerise, and she didn’t want to interrupt with a foolish question.
“The other witches hated her at first. Accused her of everything from fraternizing with the enemy, to betraying the ancient rules of witching. Hell, I don’t think she even liked the damned man, but when he courted her she saw a chance to save her sisters from the fires of hatred. But after she died, I… I realized something.”
“What was that?” asked Indigo hesitantly.
“Sometimes the best way forward is to betray the rules and ignore the hatred that follows.”
Aqua gave Indigo a sad smile, one that carried the weight of history.
“I don’t know if she was happy with the choice she made; I certainly objected to it, though for very different reasons. But the impact it left was undeniable.”
Indigo gave a frown. “But the Imperial records state she and the Emperor were madly in love. They lived together happily and died hand in hand.”
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“Yes, well, that’s how the story goes nowadays. But you’re clever enough to see between the lines.”
Indigo’s expression twisted. “Not really.”
Aqua leaned back in her chair with a creak and sighed. This child’s obliviousness to her own strengths was absurd. “Enough of this. I didn’t bring up the Witch-Queen so you could demean yourself. I brought it up so you could understand how twisted our place at the Academy has become. Everything has become regulated these days, and decisions that were once taken for granted are now made by the council. Day in and day out I deal with nothing but petty bickering, cheap politics and greedy grabs for power. People have stopped listening to my advice. They gather around people like Lady Snow and call me elderly and outdated,” The lonely smile on her face grew deeper. “I suppose I’m not the witch I used to be known as anymore.”
Indigo leapt to her feet, her chair screeching against the wooden floor.
“That’s not true! Everyone still loves you dearly!”
“Love and respect are two different things my dear Indigo. And a witch without respect is a crazy old lady waving her hands around.”
“No!” Indigo slammed her hands on the desk, leaning towards Aqua with a fierce expression. “People may like attending Lady Snow’s lectures, but that doesn’t mean they’ll stop listening to you! You’re one of the most senior magic practitioners at the Academy, even amongst the wizards and mages! It’s-it’s not fair to put yourself down like that!”
Aqua smiled at Indigo’s child-like outrage. It was good to see how the timid and jumpy orphan boy that tried to pick her pocket had grown into a young woman with so much energy and drive.
“Relax child. I’m not trying to disparage myself for the sake of misery. It’s just that I’ve realized…” the words cut off in Aqua’s throat as she suddenly felt choked up. A thousand years of experience allowed her expression to remain the same but she felt a sudden inner turmoil. Should she really tell her daughter the truth? What she had been dreading ever since Lady Snow won the Imperial Army’s grant?
I’m out of time. Snow must be stopped at all costs, but I don’t know if I have the strength to leave Indigo behind.
The right thing to do would be to be upfront and honest, but now that the moment had come, Aqua suddenly felt unable to say goodbye. She knew how much Indigo cared for her and though she knew Indigo was ready, now that the parting was upon them she couldn’t bear to speak the words that would make her so miserable.
So she didn’t. In the end, her own cowardliness won out once again.
“It’s fine. However… however, I’m not feeling too well. Lady Snow’s demonstration disturbed me a little too much and I don’t think I could withhold my temper if I saw her at tomorrow’s council meeting.”
Still concerned, Indigo drew back slightly. “Very well… I’ll contact the council and let them know you’re not coming.”
Aqua smiled, a genuine one this time. “Thank you dear Indigo. But that’s not what I meant. You will be going in my stead.”
“Huh?!”
Aqua leaned forward towards the astonished Indigo, a proud smile growing through her hidden grief. “I said, you’ll go in my stead. You’ll represent me to the council, and vote in my name. Better get your formal robes cleaned.”
“Butbutbut- I can’t! I’m not a sect leader!”
“They’ll let you sit at the table if I say so.”
“I have no experience!”
“You’ve attended meetings in the past as my assistant.”
“I won’t know what to say! What if I say the wrong thing?!”
“You won’t. Say what you believe is best. I trust you.”
“I’m only twenty-three! I’ll be the youngest one there!”
“Age is not an indication of wisdom. Besides, Lord Lavender of the Ostrum Sect is only fifty.”
“He’s the only member of that Sect! I can’t do thiiiiiissss!”
Aqua came out from behind her desk, placing one hand on Indigo’s shoulder and the other on her cheek. Meeting Indigo’s eyes of endless midnight with her own eyes of baby pastel blue, she stared into her unblinkingly.
“You CAN do this. I know you can. You may be scared, you may doubt yourself. You may even be totally overwhelmed. But you will pull through if you listen. Ask yourself the right questions and listen to the answers your heart gives you. You will not be led astray.”
Saying so, Aqua straightened up and pulled Indigo into a hug. Pulling aside the enormous hat, she kissed her between her antlers and comforted the anxious girl with her warmth as she had done so many times in the past.
“Oh child. You will forever be one of my greatest prides. I may have lived for a long time, but the time I have spent with you has been the most precious. You have grown so much from the terrified little boy I stole away from the orphanage. Never forget how much you mean to me.”
Indigo pulled back to look the old witch in the face with tears in the corner of her eyes. Despite a face that only looked to be in its forties, Indigo suddenly got a sense of the great age of the witch who raised her. She gave a smile in response and said, “I won’t. I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me. I’ll stay by your side forever.”
Aqua answered her smile with one of her own and released her. “Now, you’d best be going. Take these documents I have prepared and show them to the stewards; they will let you in. Have some confidence in yourself Indigo; you’re an incredible witch.”
Receiving the packet of documents, Indigo took a deep breath. “After the meeting, can we go for supper? I can tell you how it went.”
At that, Aqua’s careful facade of calm almost broke, but her experience did not fail her.
She nodded, and answered, “Certainly. I will have something for you as well to celebrate your first council meeting, tucked away in my safe. I’ll give it to you then.”
At this Indigo left the room with a wave and a relieved smile. But as soon as the door closed, tears of regret immediately began rolling down Aqua’s face. She collapsed onto her chair and cursed her own cowardness.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I hope you’ll forgive me…”
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