“It’s time.”

“Right, thank God,” Reuben sighed.

“I’ll pass it on,” Alexan said with a hint of a smile. “Let’s get out of here.”

With a click of her fingers, the trio suddenly and instantly appeared back in their kitchen at The Ranch.

Reuben and Effie exchanged glances at each other before Reuben offered a seat for Alexan.

“So come on. What’s this big news you can now tell us?” Effie asked heatedly.

“You need a weapon in order to defeat Outlaw. A weapon that can only be acquired once you have been successful in a series of trials.”

“Ugh!” Reuben scoffed, cutting Alexan off. “Are you fuckin' kiddin’ me?”

“Not at all,” Alexan answered, not deterred by his evident annoyance. “I cannot simply give you the weapon. The weapon doesn’t simply defeat Outlaw, but it breaks the curse that binds him. And the trials… well, they prepare you to be true of soul enough to wield that weapon. It’s a process, and one you are now ready to embark upon.”

Reuben and Effie looked at each other.

“The “curse”,” Effie mocked. “What is this curse he has?”

“Yeah, and how different is it to the one you burdened us with?” Reuben asked. “I think it’s time you start talking about what exactly is going on. From the beginning.”

Alexan sighed and shifted in her wooden chair. “You’re right. You have been patient,” she agreed. “The One You Know As Outlaw was cursed by my sister a long time ago. Over a half of a century before I found you. She and I were very similar for a long time, before she went down a very different path in life. The curse she used was a… forbidden practice, I shall say, so I had to do what I did, and have never done before or since... But I killed her. I killed her and along with her death, I killed any possibility of her lifting the curse.”

Reuben and Effie remained silent to allow her to continue. They didn’t want to side track her as this was the longest time they had had her attention for so far.

“Then, as you know, in 1812 I got wind of you two and started to track you down. I knew from your reputation that you would be the only ones to take Outlaw out one day.”

“But we were criminals. We were bad people doing bad things,” Effie reminded her.

“Exactly. People not only feared God, but they feared you more. I knew you were capable. You had strength, grit and drive. An evil inside that, whilst offended me to my core, enabled you to do certain things, things that you would need to be capable of to go on to do what it was I needed from you. And look at you now. The curse I bestowed upon you has led you to redeem yourselves. You now work for the Government of your land. You fight for those who need it. You fight against bad. And thus you have shown goodness, and this is what makes you ready.”

“So how do we get holdda this weapon?” Reuben asked impatiently.

“There are four tasks. The first one must be done first. Then once completed, you will prove that you are ready to take on the further trials and eventually wield the weapon and it's power.”

“Hang on, I thought you said we had already shown our worth?” Reuben asked.

“Yes, you have shown it, but you need to prove it. Once you prove it with the first, the remaining three trials can be attempted.”

“Riiiiight, ok,” Reuben said with a hint of dismissiveness.

Alexan sensed this. “First, you need to travel to the ‘Hole to Hell’ found somewhere in the Superstition Mountains. Down there, is the trapped soul of a man. Release that soul and-”

“A soul? Come on now Alexan! Are you high?” Reuben said, rolling his eyes and his head upon his shoulders. The volume in his voice increased. “This has been a real fuckin’ long day and night and I can’t believe we’re sat round the kitchen table listening to some fairy give us cryptic clues to go on some treasure hunt. Can you, Eff? Maybe we should take this outside so we can sit round a campfire. I’ve got one or two stories for you too,” he fumed.

“Fairy?!” Alexan repeated, this time the volume in her voice increasing, her tone more serious. She looked between Effie and Reuben.

“Yeah, whatever the fuck you are,” Reuben continued. “Ev’ry time you turn up in this sparklin’ light show dressed in white doing your magic shit. Over two hundred years we’ve lived like we do now because of you, because you thought a pair of bandits had something special, trying to make the best of the fuckin' long life you’ve given us and we’ve seen you… like a doz'n times? Fairy… magician… I don’t know who you are and I sure as hell ain’t going down some hole to hell to prove myself to you.”

Silence descended over the three. Reuben stared intensely at Alexan who stared back. Effie looked between the two.

Finally, Alexan spoke first. Quietly. “I am not a fairy. I am Alexan. The daughter of Abel. Abel, the son of Adam and Eve.”

There was silence between the trio, before Effie said, “I’m all down but nine here, Alexan. Abel didn’t have no children.”

“Then I don’t exist and sit here in front of you?” Alexan asked looking around almost facetiously. “He had two daughters. We were just not told of. See, Abel fell innocently in love with a villager woman near to where he protected his flock. After he was killed by Cain, we were given the Gift of God to restore balance where there was evil and murder in the name of our father. My sister and I at first used this Gift to do that good in the shadows. For centuries we observed and rebalanced what needed to be, but as the centuries went on and as civilisation developed, my sister allowed the corruption and the evil that we aimed to eradicate, into her life.”

The Rodeos looked at each other. Confusion and complete bewilderment took hold of them and prevented them from being able to articulate any thoughts they had.

“Outlaw has an evil in him that needs eliminating. By completing the trials I instruct you with, you will have the strength, the power and the might to expel that evil, and to kill Outlaw… and to lift the curse that I put on you.”

“Why don’t you just kill ‘im? No one can be more powerful than a descendent of God, right? Why do you need us?” Effie asked.

“Because I don’t do that anymore. I made the error in judgement of doing that to my sister, and I am now paying for that. It is now my path to balance that wrong by showing you the light and to help you balance the wrongs in your own lives. To make you good,” Alexan replied.

“Well you sure as hell yarn the hours away, I give yer that,” Reuben said. “I’m tired now and I think we’ve heard enough for one day.” He got up, scraping the wooden chair back along the wooden floor. Effie stayed seated. “You coming?”

“I want to hear more about Superstition Mountain,” she said to him. “What do we have to do?”

Reuben rolled his eyes and leaned with two hands on the back of the chair he had got up from. “Cut to the chase about it too.”

Alexan straightened up. “Find the Hole to Hell. Inside you will find the trapped soul. Defeat the beast it’s trapped within and prove your worth. Then I will find you again and guide you with what’s next to be done.”

“All cards on the table?” Effie asked.

“Everything you need to know,” Alexan assured.

“Fuck me,” Reuben sighed. “Fine. I’m no yellow belly. We’ll go. But I need sleep first. You just make sure you find us when we’ve done it.”

“Of course,” agreed Alexan. “I shall go now. Good luck.” A flash of white light appeared behind her, like a portal, which she was swallowed into, disappearing. The light blinked out when she had gone.

“You believe it all, don’t yer?” Reuben asked.

“I do. Fuck, I do,” she admitted. “She put this curse on us so she seems like she should know how we can defeat Outlaw. I feel like we gotta lis’en to her, right?”

“And what do you think about her lifting our curse?”

“I… I don’t know yet.”

***

“You know we cudda just spent the day planning it together?” Reuben said to Effie. They were unlocking the garage doors to get to the motor bikes they were going to use for the journey. This wasn’t a trip for their animals to take.

“I couldn’ sleep,” she said.

“Well don’ go swervin’ all over the road then. Say if you need to stop.”

They wheeled the bikes out of the garage and locked it back up.

“I will. I know we know Arizona well but I’ve put the route on our GPS screens in case,” Effie said, referring to the miniature devices built into their bikes. “More for my benefit if I stop payin’ ‘tention.”

“Anything specific on the Hole to Hell?” Reuben asked.

“It literally sounds like a deep, deep hole. There’re stories of strange disappearances and sightings of freaky shit. Of lost gold and ghosts too.”

“Spooky,” he said dryly. “Let’s get it done then.”

***

The motorcycle ride from their Ranch in Texas to the nearest and most appropriate stopping point of Phoenix, took the best part of that day non-stop, hardcore progress making in the hot desert heat. By the time darkness fell, all they could do was to find somewhere in Phoenix to rest.

Then, before the next day broke, The Rodeos were up again, riding out to the Lost Dutchman State Park. From there they faced another huge trek following some rough GPS estimates for the location of the Hole to Hell, somewhere in the mountains.

“Fuck me, is it close?” Reuben said, screwing his water bottle back up.

They were five hours in and still no luck, both dripping with sweat and hot. Although their strength prevented them from physical exhaustion or soreness from the trekking and climbing across the terrain, they were still human and humans sweat when hot and still needed hydrating.

“It’s supposed to be round here,” Effie said, holding the GPS tracker to the sky. “Let’s try this way.”

“Whatever you say.” He followed her down the rocky slope. “There’s nothin’ here. That fuckin’ Alexan. Sending us on a wild goose chase just goin’ round in circles with no fuckin’ clue of what we’re looking for,” he ranted. “No clue. No sign. No fuckin’ idea what we’re doing and what we’ll do if we-”

A turkey vulture flew down, perching on a boulder a couple of metres in front of The Rodeos, silencing Reuben as he continued ranting.

“You’re close,” the vulture said. “Look for where the kettle are. What you’re looking for is directly below.” The vulture took off and flew into the sky. Reuben and Effie’s gazes followed it up into the bright blue sky. It joined a group of other vultures, the kettle, circling in the sky.

“Did that vulture…?” Effie asked.

“I thought it was just me, having heat stroke or somethin’, but you heard it too?”

“Well you were asking for a sign. Maybe Alexan heard?”

“Whatever, let’s just head in that direction,” Reuben said, pointing to the north east from where they were. The vultures were flying up in the sky around a hundred and fifty metres away.

They’d made it.

***

“We made it.” Reuben looked up and saw that the vultures had disappeared. He slung his backpack off and started to unpack the ropes and climbing gear they had bought. Effie did the same.

“Well I never,” Effie muttered. “It’s really here. Do you want to go down first?”

“I don’t want you going down at all,” he replied bluntly, not even looking up at her.

“You’re kidding? We don’t know what’s down there.”

“Exactly,” he said looking at her. “Which is why only I’m going in. I need you to stay up top in case somethin’ compromises the rope or the hole.” He stepped into the harness and adjusted the straps as Effie looked on in silence. “Or if something that isn’t me comes out of it.”

She started laughing. “Ok Rube. I’ll be ready.”

They sorted their gear out so that Reuben was ready to go down and five minutes later he was stood over the hole ready. “I’ll see ya when I see ya.” He sat down and gently lowered himself in, slowly pulling the rope through the pulley.

The hole was roughly wide enough to fit two Reubens side by side and was a continuous drop of pitch black. He wore a head torch that shone down but there was no end in sight.

As he went further down, the hole of light at the top naturally got smaller. “How am I doing for rope?” he asked up through his communicator.

Back up at the top, Effie looked at the remaining length still to go through. They’d bought a custom length of two hundred metres hoping that that would be enough. “I’d say fifty metres left.”

“Shit I don’t think that’s going to be enough,” Reuben’s reply came back through her ear piece.

“Forty metres,” she said, counting down the remaining length.

“I’ll be damned if we have to come back.”

Effie heard a mass of hissing sounds getting louder very quickly.

“Effie?” Reuben asked, not hearing any response from his partner. Over the rocks and the boulders that surrounded her and the Hole to Hell, came dozens and dozens of rattle snakes snaking towards her. She jumped up onto the nearest boulder and took out the gun out of her holster.

But they weren’t interested in her. They were heading for the rope and in an act that defied nature, they absorbed into the rope itself, making it longer.

“Effie?” Reuben snapped.

“S-sorry. You should have more rope now…”

“How?”

“Urm, there’s a constant stream of snakes going into the rope.” That was the best way she could explain it.

“Bullshit.”

“Well, you’re going further and further aren’ ya?”

“… yeah I guess I am,” he conceded. “You think Alexan again?”

“Well if I think a talkin’ vulture was a sign from her, then I think there’s a high chance rope absorbin’ snakes are her as well.” After a minute or two, Effie noticed the snakes suddenly stop and dissolve into the ground. “Reuben, they’ve stopped and disappeared.”

“I think that’s because I’m here…”

***

“Holy shit,” Reuben said as he came to hard ground underfoot. He took out a few flares, lighting them and tossing them out into the darkness.

They landed and came to a stop, illuminating the cavern he was now in. It was huge and filled with stalactites and stalagmites forming from the floor all the way up to the ceiling of the cavern, at least two stories high.

He tossed a few more flares further in which illuminated two large cave holes at the end.

He swore under his breath and unclipped himself from the ropes and left them dangling ready for his exit.

He gingerly stepped forward, not knowing what to expect. His head torch beam swung from left to right as head moved, searching the walls for any clues or sign for what he might be looking for. Something with a soul that needs releasing…

“How’s it down there?” Effie asked. She was still coming through crisp and clear. Thank God.

“Dark. Quiet,” he whispered back.

“Anyone with you?”

“I’d have said so otherwise,” he responded bluntly. “There are two cave holes. I think what I need is in one of them.”

Reuben whistled a short tune to try and attract the thing’s attention. The tune reverberated against the cave walls. Nothing happened.

He pushed on, getting closer to the two holes and whistled again.

Nothing happened.

“Come out fucker!” Reuben resorted to yelling. There was silence, before a faint rumbling could be yelled coming from deep within one of the holes. Or maybe both.

From the left hole out came a towering, lumbering and bulky figure that looked like something out of a horror movie. And Reuben had seen his fair share of horror movies.

It growled at the light being cast from the fizzling flare and caught sight of Reuben.

“I’m here to release your soul, big guy,” Reuben offered. The beast growled back and came further out of it’s hole, giving the Rodeo a better look at what he was facing.

Whilst he could at least see it better, he wasn’t sure he’d do a good of describing it later to Effie. Something that was once a man but at least certainly anthropomorphic in form, covered in bouldering rock in parts, with exposed skeleton where once flesh and muscle would have been.

The rocky parts of the figure covered sixty percent of the body, like a growth had taken hold and covered whoever was once underneath it, including roughly half of the head. The rock was uneven, bumpy, spiky in parts and in places embedded with nuggets of gold.

Shudda bought Terri with me, he thought.

Unknown if it was reflection from the flares, it’s eyes glared red.

Satanic red.

It continued a hobbled walk towards Reuben, and it’s slow pace was beginning to irk him. He hopped onto a rock in front of him and used it to propel him into the air, meeting the boulder thing foot first.

The Rodeo just bounced off and landed on the floor with a hard smack. The unmoved rock man looked down at Reuben. Those eyes are hauntin’.

The thing raised a leg and stamped down on Reuben before he had a chance to do anything. The pressure and the weight was intense, but it was what Reuben needed to slip into his berserk mode. With his new found strength, he was able to push up against the foot squashing down on him and fling the rock demon, sending it crashing up into a girthy stalactite just behind where he was.

Beast and stalactite crashed down on the ground, both still very much intact.

Reuben growled as he jumped up landing on his two feet. The hellish stone beast got up and the pair charged towards each other. The Rodeo punched once. Twice. Thrice right into the gut. Each blow had little impact on the beast and Reuben hit back twice more with more gusto.

The rocky cave dweller, annoyed at Reuben’s attempts, grabbed out with both hands around Reuben’s neck, applying pressure to his windpipe. Reuben thrashed around to try and break free.

When it was clear that he wasn’t getting free as quick as he would have liked, he clasped his hands around the demon beast’s head, fumbling around for the eyes. With his thumbs, he found the squishy parts and began pressing in the hope that it would cause enough discomfort at the very least.

As Reuben pushed, the eyes burst but the rock beast was undeterred. The tips of Reuben’s thumbs began to burn from a warm sensation inside its head. Bright red hot thick liquid oozed out, sliding down his hands as his thumbs remained pushing.

The situation around his windpipe though became more desperate and Reuben was growing weak through the agony in his neck. The berserk mode he was in gave him an additional boost of strength that helped him to last longer than a regular fleshy human would have had in these circumstances, but by now he was starting to flag.

He dug deep, feeling the rage build up from within him more. More and more, pushing out the tension to his arms. It built, until it could no more. He pushed out against the now blind beast’s arms away from his neck.

It worked, and the grip loosened from Reuben’s windpipe just at the right time, sending him stumbling back. Reuben roared loudly, his back arched as the instinctive, almost animalistic noise came out from him.

With a kick, Reuben struck out at the knee cap of the beast, breaking it in the opposite direction. It fell down onto it, slightly propped up by the good leg. Reuben rolled to dodge the beast lunging out, ending up behind it.

Spotting the twenty foot long part of the fallen stalactite, Reuben grabbed it, plunging it through the boulder beast’s back. The beast screamed in pain as gold cracks formed across it’s body emanating from the area the stalactite was embedded in. They grew brighter and brighter until the body of the boulder beast shattered into pieces in a mini explosion that sent Reuben flying out across the dark cavern.

The Rodeo stood up, catching his breath and walked over to the debris of what was the boulder beast, waiting for some sign that he was successful in releasing the soul that he was supposed to.

As the berserker energy shrunk back into his chest, The Fog started to descend and fill up his head. It was the unfortunate side effect of the extra strength that his rage gave him, and it wouldn’t be long before he would need to find solace vertically on a bed.

Shit, he thought. He had to go. “Eff, The Fog’s comin’ in.”

“Just clip yourself onto the rope and I’ll pull you up.”

“’Kay, I’m going.”

“Did you do it?”

He winced as a piercing pain spread from the front of his skull. “I did, but I… I don’t know if I did... the thing.”

“Don’t worry, just get up here.”

Reuben clipped his carabine onto the rope and gave it a tug. He felt his body ascend as he blacked out completely.

***

“Huh?” Reuben muttered as he came to. “How long have I been out?” He looked around and recognised his bedroom. His Fog never normally knocked him out this long, not long enough for Effie to carry him on the trek back to the bikes and then somehow to get back to Texas.

“Alexan clicked her fingers again and bought us back here.”

“Bitch coulda done that in the first place and saved us the days travel, right?” he groaned, dropping back into the pillows.

Alexan appeared in her bright white portal of light causing Reuben to squeeze his eyes shut. “That bitch needed you to make the trip and the discovery yourself,” she said with a hint of annoyance in her voice. “You’re welcome though.”

“Thanks,” he grumbled back, propping himself up in bed. Effie and Alexan were stood at the foot of the bed looking down at him. “Well this is weird,” he muttered.

“You can get dressed and meet us downstairs? Then we can talk?” Alexan offered.

“Please,” he said, throwing the bed cover off him.

“Woah!” Alexan cried out, concealing her eyes, seeing that Reuben wasn’t wearing anything covering his genitals. He ignored her and got up anyway.

Effie and Alexan were waiting for him when he made it downstairs, this time with clothes on.

“That’s better,” Alexan commented quietly.

“How’d we do out there then?” Effie asked.

“She’s not told you?” Reuben said to his partner.

“No, I waited for you.”

Reuben nodded slightly in gruff appreciation and sat in an armchair. “So? Did I release the soul?”

“You did,” Alexan revealed.

“Great, so now what do we fuckin’ do?”

Alexan bit her lip at his cursing. She hated it. He knew that. He didn’t care. “The One You Know As Outlaw’s curse burdens him to live on in eternity, to serve the Devil. My sister lost her mind to the corruption of the Devil and cursed a man so that the pair of them could exist and wreak havoc among the world. As I said, I killed her, but have not been able to kill Outlaw. In order to be able to, you will need the seeds of ‘Diabolus est radix galangal’ to grow and you will also need the Iahat Chereb. Find and acquire these items and you will be ready.”

“You just said a whole buncha words I have no idea what they mean,” Reuben said. He looked at Effie. “You know what she’s sayin’?”

“Then use Google,” Alexan said curtly. “But I can’t do everything for you.” She got up. “I have work to do, and your use of swear words makes me feel dirty.”

“Work? What work do you have to do?” Effie asked. “And are you not going to even tell us how to spell these words?”

“God’s work transcends this little world you know. I’ve not just been sat waiting for you to be ready. There’s whole universes out there and a lot of imbalance and evil that needs righting. I will be back, don’t worry.” And with that last assurance, Alexan blinked out in her portal of light leaving an annoyed Effie and Reuben stewing round the kitchen table.

“Have I said I hate that bitch sometimes?” Effie said as she dug out her cell.

“Yeah, once or twice.”

Effie continued to type on her cell. "Says here that the lahat cherub is the flaming sword... and was used to protect the gates of Paradise by some cherub."

"What the hell?" Reuben exclaimed. "Where is it?"

"Hell do I know? I'm looking on Wikipedia at the moment. Search it on our secure system," she said.

He huffed but got up to get the tablet they used. Effie read out it's spelling and he typed it in.

"Fuck me a new one," he said when he found the information he was looking for. "It's in here."

"Where is it?" Effie asked.

"We have it. The US Government. In a secure storage facility."

"And what about the seeds?"

"Hang on..." He typed away and the results came up. "Well we don't have those. They're stored at the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. Fuck. Of course they're all locked up."

"Motherfucker," Effie sighed sitting defeatedly back in her chair.

"Have I said how much I hate Alexan sometimes?" Reuben said after a few moments.