Chapter 38. Care "Are you okay Lucy?" I was with Luke and Lucy. After what we had gone through, nobody spoke a word. It was hard to kill someone even if I knew that the world is better off without them. But still, these two were not alright. They kept looking down and did not even speak to each other. I wanted to do something for them to lift their spirits up. So I started to talk about my experience in the room. "Before we entered the room, Teach asked me a question." Their ears perked up, "He asked if I had killed someone. I knew then that he was going to ask me to kill someone. But I had already made up my mind. We walked into the room where there was a man chained up, and then Teach handed me a knife. But I said no. He didn't force me to kill him but tried to convince me. He said that man had raped, killed several people. I knew that the man had to die but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Teach even said that he was going to kill the man but I just shook my head. I was angry at myself, for not being able to take that step. So angry that I did not notice when this happened," I opened up my left arm and raised it a little so they could see. Their eyes landed on my hand widened. Four deep cuts were visible on my palm, while my fingers were red with blood. "He said that I was too kind, soft. That this will be normal in the coming future and if I wanted to be a leader I had to know about the burden that comes with it. I walked out of the room after that but I heard teach walk a little and then a tiny piercing sound. I knew that the man was dead but when Teach walked out, his steps sounded a little heavier than before." I stopped my experience there. After that was the inner conflict that I went through, thinking if my decision was wrong or right. That was the thing that was eating me up from the inside. That was something for me to deal with. Everyone stayed quiet for a few minutes and then Lucy was the one to speak up. "Teacher asked me the same question that he asked Arthur, I asked him why and he replied because he was going to ask me to kill someone. I said I didn't want to. He handed me a knife and said that he was one of the people that wanted to kidnap me while we were in the forest. He also wanted to capture my brother and that they had raped many before but I still couldn't. I started crying. Teacher said that I was naïve. He said that people never really changed unless something big happens in their lives. That, if I give everyone a second chance, I will get hurt someday. That I needed to judge people correctly. He carried me out of the room only to once again walk back in. The chained man was dead." Lucy finally looked up to me after completing her part. There was a little less sadness on her face and it would take time for that to completely go away but it was enough for now. We both looked towards Luke. He looked up, blinked a couple of times, and once again looked down. He needed time to speak, and we understood. He spoke after a few minutes. "I killed the man," Luke said with a heavy voice. I was shocked, Lucy too. She covered her mouth with her hand as tears filled her eyes. But she didn't interrupt. Luke had finally mustered up the courage to speak and we weren't going to let that break now. "He asked me the same question, had I ever killed someone? I said no and asked why, did he want me to kill someone. He said yes as we entered the room. I said no once again. He then handed me a knife and said that would I still not kill this man even after knowing that they wanted to capture Lucy. That it was by luck she was with us when we went to the forest. Otherwise," Luke paused. "Teacher said something after that but I didn't hear it. My stilled looped the sentence 'they wanted to capture Lucy,' again and again. Then I thought about what would happen if they were actually successful, And I lost it. I firmly held the knife and walked up to the man. One thrust in the chest. Another one in the heart. My legs gave up after that and I fell down. Teach said that I was smart, but if things involved my sister I stop thinking. That anyone could manipulate me using my sister. That I had to use the brain I had been given." Luke stopped and stared at his hands. Lucy got up and hugged her brother as she started crying. She was scared of killing the man but Luke had actually killed someone, even imagining what he must be going through should be hard for her. It was hard for me too. I got up and patted Luke's head, saying that I too was there for him. "Children are you here?" We heard a voice. A man walked towards us and he had some things in his hand. "Found you, finally," he said. I took a step back and seeing me step back he too paused. "No need to get scared, Ray sent me here." "Ray?" I said in confusion. "You don't know his name? Your teacher, Ray." He brought his hands forward and showed us what he had. There was a first aid kit and some food. "Your teacher asked me to give you this. He said that there will be no classes this week, it will be a resting period. He also said that he understands if you don't decide to come after that. He doesn't blame you for it." I relaxed a little bit after seeing that, "My name is Garry by the way. I came here after Ray freed me from the Syndicate's camp. I don't know why he didn't come here to this himself, but instead decided to drag me out of my important work." That man, Garry, said as he walked after leaving the items on the ground seeing that we didn't come to receive the food. "When I asked Teach if he was going to do the same with Lucy, he said yes," Luke spoke as I picked up the food. "I was angry and said that I would never forgive him if anything happened to her because of this trauma. He said that it was better than her dying on the battlefield due to some hesitation instead." "There never was a correct answer," I said after realizing something. "I didn't matter if we killed the man or not, none of them would be the correct answer. Nobody can be right. What is true for you might be a lie for the other person and what is a lie for you might be the truth for him. I think that is what he was trying to teach us." "And that we shouldn't hesitate," Lucy said. "Because one moment of hesitation, indecisiveness can be fatal." "That we should use our brains at all times and not let our emotions blind us," Luke was the one this time. "Both are useful for making correct decisions." "Shall we eat now?" I said. There was finally a slight smile on everyone's face.