《That Could Have Gone Better》17. Grief
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Amelia
We were drenched by the time we passed through the gate again. Orcs were running as fast as they could to get out of the torrential downpour bearing on the city. The cold rain chilled me as Bulak as we took temporary shelter in the shade of an overhang just inside the gate. Bulak turned to me as she wiped the water from her face. “I shall search for Dexter in the Great Hall,” She assured me. “I will return him safely when he decides to depart.”
I nodded as I rubbed my arm submissively and gestured into the city. “I think I'm going to just head to the barn.” I sighed, glad that the rain could obscure my tears. “I think I’m done with people for today.” I couldn't bear any more socializing after the funeral. I just wanted to curl up and have some time to myself.
Bulak nodded as she waved goodbye. “Then I shall see you tomorrow.” She said, quickly moving towards the Hall. I waved in response as I saw her run into the rain, sprinting for the Great Hall. I let out a slow sigh as I collected myself and started heading back to the barn, the rain thundering down on me. I walked quickly through the city as I tried to console myself. “Shel isn't your fault. No one can anticipate all the consequences of their actions. Just get to the barn and have a nice catharsis.” My plans of solitude were quickly dashed when I looked up and saw the wide-open door into the barn. I let out a sigh as I walked through and saw the mess that was left inside. The tool bucket had been tipped over, littering the ground with wrenches, pliers, and screwdrivers. The empty tables were turned every which way and the chairs were scattered everywhere. The splintered remnants of one chair lay against a post, leaving the crumpled heap where it had shattered. I heard a commotion up in the loft and turn to find it. I saw a few flashes of red as I spotted Dexter gesturing wildly. He seemed even more agitated than usual. I let out another sigh as I moved to climb the ladder. His cracking voice echoed down. “We could've done something, but we just stood there.” I reached the top and peered over the edge. Dexter hadn't changed out of his funeral clothes. His hand was gripping something as he continued to rant. “You couldn't have been more useless if we were born without eyes.”
I climbed up a bit as I gently prodded Dexter’s emotional state. “Dexter?” I asked softly. He turned swiftly and glared at me, tears staining the corners of his cheeks. I flinched as I saw a fire burning in his eyes.
It chilled my bones even further as Dexter replied heatedly. “NOT NOW!” He roared. I quickly ducked back down as I heard Dexter start pacing around angrily. “You definitely won't be able to talk to him today. Just wait it out, no point in angering him further.” I let out one more sigh as I walked over to the shattered chair. “Might as well clean up a bit.”
I spent what little of the day was left cleaning the barn. Thankfully Dexter had left the encumbered tables alone, choosing instead to topple the empty tables and fling the various chairs about the barn. It took a while to clean up the shattered chair against the post, piling it up in one of the empty stables as I slowly cleaned up the mess. I was just setting the last chair upright when I heard a knock at the door. I moved towards the sound as the sky rumbled again. Bulak quickly rushed in as I opened the door. She sighed as she set a covered tray on one of the re-righted tables. “Thank you.” She gasped. “I did not see Dexter at the Great Hall, so I thought I would bring you two something.” She lifted the cover, revealing a platter of bread, some ribs, and two mugs of golden brown liquid. She grinned softly as she lifted one of the mugs and handed it to me. “The two of you might like the ale they had.”
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I took the mug gingerly. “Thanks,” I muttered. A buttery sweet scent wafted up as I brought the drink to my lips. It burned slightly as I took a sip. It was definitely stronger than the beer Dexter had brought last week.
Bulak set the cover down with a sigh as I enjoyed the drink. “So, where is Dexter?” Bulak asked. “If he was not at the Great Hall, he must be here.”
I swallowed another mouthful and gestured up at the loft. Dexter's actions had died down recently, leaving a palpable lingering silence. “He's been up there since before I got back,” I replied. “He upended just about every piece of furniture. I don't think he wants to talk right now.”
Bulak's face went slack as she heard my explanation. She glanced up at the loft as she let out a sigh “I shall see if I can't talk some sense into him,” Bulak said, lifting the other mug and moving to the ladder. I nodded as I watched Bulak climb up into the loft. “I have no idea what she could say to make him feel better, but at least he might open up to her.”
Bulak
I climbed up into the loft, mug in hand, as the rain continued to thunder outside. Dexter was sitting in front of the door overlooking the city, knees pulled close to his chest. He still wore his funeral attire, wet fabric clinging to his arms. I approached calmly as a bolt of lightning illuminated the sky. Dexter didn't react as I sat beside him, and a rumble of thunder washed over the city. I silently offered him the mug. He paused for a moment then delicately accepted the offer as he continued to stare out over the rain-soaked rooftops. After a minute, I broke the silence. “No one blames you for her death,” I said gently. “not even Adgulg and Burub, they are happy that you saved Ogrul,”
Dexter growled as he looked down at the mug.“I'm guessing her parents?” He asked, bringing the drink to his lips. I nodded. Dexter drank deeply before he continued. “I still could have done something.” He spat angrily. “I still could have done more to try and save her, but I just stood there and watched her die. . . . I was useless to her.”
I nodded solemnly as I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. “We all wish we could do more,” I assured him. “but there is only so much one can do. All that we can do is accept the past and prepare for the future.”
Dexter paused for a moment then nodded as he looked at his other hand. “I guess you're right.” He sighed dejectedly. “It still hurts, I don't fully agree with it, but you're still right.”
I glanced over at his clenched fist. “What do you have there?” I asked. Dexter paused for a moment before opening his hand. A rough outsider glove uncurled in it, blood staining a portion of it. I carefully brushed it as I glanced at Dexter. “Did you-”
“Wear this when Shel died?” Dexter interrupted. “Yeah. Ogrul gave it to me during the funeral. Apparently, he picked it up when he finally went home. He must've walked by Shel's body when he found it. And that thought just. . .” He dropped the glove on the floor as he turned to look out over the city again. “I hate that I couldn't do anything to help her . . to save her. I didn’t prepare myself for a scenario like that.” I nodded again as I looked at the discarded glove. The dried blood outlined it's rough surface, flowing into the pits and hills of the material. “I can only imagine where the stains came from. So much blood sounds impossible from a small child.” I blinked as I saw a drop of red fall from above. I looked higher to see Dexter's blood-stained knuckles.
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I gently took his slack appendage and examined the wound upon it. “When did that happen?” I asked as
Dexter didn't resist as I examined his knuckles. “I punched the wall over there,” He replied flatly, pointing with his free hand.
I let out a scoff as I pulled out a small handkerchief. “Are all outsiders this reckless?” I asked, beginning to clean his knuckles.
Dexter shrugged as he lifted the mug to his lips again. “I just had to take out my anger on something.” He muttered, taking another sip. He winced as I ran the skin over his knuckles. “You must know what it's like.” He said poignantly.
He hesitated for a moment, pausing in my cleaning. I let out a slow sigh as I banished my hesitation and continued cleaning. “I do,” I admitted. “After my mother died, I spent a fortnight tirelessly training. I thought I could go after Almar . . after Leroy. .” Dexter nodded. We sat there quietly as I continued to wipe away the blood. “I am mildly impressed by Dexter's defiance. I heard outsiders simply rolled over or were quick to do so when threatened. Dexter, on the other hand, was different. Even after I threatened him, he found subtle ways of defiance that still aligned with our agreement. He didn't even flinch when I tried to choke him out. Instead, he mocked me for losing my temper.”
“What about Dubak?” Dexter suddenly asked, forcing me from my reminiscence. “How did he take your mom’s death?”
I considered for a minute before responding.“My father was most distraught. To him, there was none that could replace my mother. He even dismissed his concubines.”
Dexter looked at me quizzically. “He had concubines?” He asked.
I nodded nonchalantly. “Had, he released them after her funeral. He couldn't look at them without thinking of her.” Dexter nodded as he turned back to the rooftops. I let out another sigh as I finished removing the blood and let go.
Dexter clenched his fist several times as I put the handkerchief away. “Thank you.” He said. Dexter seemed to consider something before continuing. “Not just for this, but for everything else you've been doing. You've been surprisingly generous, considering where you come from.”
I let out a short laugh as I grinned. “I suppose you are correct. Though I think I may be doing it to make up for my mistakes in the past.” Dexter turned to me again. I quickly elaborated, my face falling from the thought of it all. “I was the one that brought Leroy into Snakhagr. So, all this might be just me hoping you'll be able to undo the damage he caused.”
It was Dexter's turn to let out a laugh as he turned to the rain outside. “You make it sound like I'm destined for something, not just some human that happened upon this situation.”
I grinned and shrugged as I tucked my knees up to my chest. “From what Garahk said, you might very well be.”
It was Dexter's turn to grin. “Now that I know about the existence of magic, I'm inclined to believe you.” I grinned as Dexter raised the mug to his lips one last time. He finished the drink and we sat in silence for a little while longer, the rain continuing to pelt the city outside. I felt a sense of hope as Dexter and I enjoyed each other’s company.
Dexter
I was kneeling again, holding Shel's lifeless body. Tears streamed down my face as I heard the world drip about me. The floor below me was partially flooded, staining my jeans as I sobbed for Shel. I heard footsteps slowly approach, causing ripples to radiate from behind me. The steps slowly drifted left as they grew closer. I only looked up when a voice to my left broke the silence between my weeps. “How much longer are you going to cry?” It asked coldly. I looked towards the source. I stood above me, but it wasn't . . . me. His glasses were undamaged. He wore a button-up shirt with sharply pressed khakis. His hair was neatly combed back with a slick jell. He scowled down at me with contempt as I cradled Shel. “No amount of tears are going to bring her back.” He continued, gesturing at Shel.
I wiped my face as I retaliated. “What does it matter?” I sobbed. “I'm not hurting anyone.”
My counterpart shook his head. “You're hurting us. You punched a wall.”
“It'll heal by tomorrow.”
“What if you go farther? What if you break a bone.”
“Brokil could fix us. He probably knows healing spells.”
My counterpart took a heavy step towards me. “And if he refuses? What then? Will we go into the arena in a cast? You did insult him to his face.”
I slammed my fist into the floor, denting it slightly and throwing up a spray of water. “What Do You Care?” I choked, voice cracking slightly. “You Don't Care About The People Around Us. You've Never Cared. Even When Shel Was Dying And I Begged For Your Help You Were Silent.”
My counterpart clenched his teeth in anger. “It's not my job to care.” He growled. “It's my job to plan out, to think through the problems we face. That's been the deal. I'm the logical aspect, you're the emotional parts. We need to work together to find the best solution. I couldn't present a viable solution, so I elected to remain silent.”
I stood up angrily, tears still streaming down my face. Shel's body flopped to the floor with a loud splash. “What If I Don't Like You Doing That?” I growled. “What If I Think I Don't Need You Anymore? What If I Decide I Can Make It Without Your Help?”
My counterpart directed his palm towards me, his hands flex deliberately. “You know that's foolish. You need me, just like I need you. Without me, you wouldn't have been able to do the things we did during the battle and vice versa.”
I swatted his hand away, causing his eyes to grow wide. “Don't Try That Shit On Me.” I barked, sorrow now gone and replaced with rage. “I Could've Taken The Whole Army If You Hadn't Slowed Me Down.”
My counterpart continued to stare in disbelief at me, glancing down at the hand I had swatted away. “You're being illogical. We barely made it out alive. We should've rested after that pulse.”
I gestured wildly as I glared at my counterpart. “And What Would That Have Accomplished? Thanks To Me, We Expelled That Fucking Army!”
My counterpart growled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Need I remind you that we passed out the first chance we got? We couldn't have lifted a weapon, let alone take on an army.”
I took another step forward challengingly. “We Could Be Beating Almar Now If You Weren't Slowing Me Down! You're Always Too Careful, Always Too Fearful.”
My counterpart directed his palm at me again, causing me to take a step back. A feeling of submission washed over me as my counterpart started to speak. “Now you're being irrational. We're just one person. They have an army of unknown size, resources with unknown capabilities, and knowledge of unknown significance. There are too many variables to guarantee victory.”
I swatted the hand away again. “I Don't Need A Guarantee, I Just Need A Chance!” He faltered again and took a step back. I mirrored his movement and took a step forward, glaring at him challengingly. “As Far As I'm Concerned, The Only Thing Holding Me Back Is You!”
My counterpart brought his hand to his head as he seemed to concentrate. “Something's off.” I grabbed his collar.
“Absolutely, This Time I Won't Have You Manipulate Me!” He pushed against me forcing me to release him.
He seemed to be concentrating hard now. “You don't understand. This isn't normal. This isn-” A piercing headache suddenly radiated through my head and I let out a roar of pain. My counterpart seemed to have the same issue as he let out a pained cry. I slammed my fist into the floor angrily, throwing up a splash of water.
I clenched my eyes shut. A piercing headache was radiating through my temple. My counterpart slammed his fist into the floor, spraying water everywhere. “Don't Do That!” He roared.
I blinked in surprise as the headache vanished and I was left staggering in front of my counterpart. “You don't understand.” I countered. “It didn't use to be like this We're supposed to be dreaming.”
My counterpart swiped at the floor, pushing up another spray of water as he climbed to his feet. “You Think I Care About What It's Supposed To Be!?” My counterpart roared. I looked at him, only now realizing his differing appearance. He lacked the glasses I wore. His shirt was torn to shreds, forearms covered in dried blood, and his jeans were stained in dirt and water. His hair stuck out at crazy angles, only adding to the madness he displayed. “I've Been Held Back By Your Cowardice For Too Long! Now I'll Finally Be Free To Do What I Want!” He began monologuing, going off on a tangent about events from before. I turned to the body of Shel as I tried to make sense of the situation. I blinked as I saw . . . a ghost. I . . . no, we . . . were kneeling, holding Shel, as a transparent vision of the alley came into focus. I blinked again as the vision of us suddenly multiplied and split off, some going towards the street while others ran off through the back alley, either holding or not holding Shel. I watched as text boxes appeared near each vision, gauging a constantly fluctuating success rate. The alley slowly expanded to mimic the entire street and the night sky above, complete with a waxing half-moon.
I was starting to breathe heavily, hyperventilating. “We're still grieving,” I muttered. “I thought we reached acceptance, but we're still grieving.” I looked to my counterpart as a realization dawned on me. “We didn't use to be separated. We've never been like this.” He faltered as he looked down at his hands. He stared at them for a moment before clenching and unclenching them as he began laughing maniacally.
A chill ran down my spine as he looked back at me with a wild expression, smile running ear to ear. “You c-ha-an't influe-he-ence me!” He cackled. “You've tried twice now and st-he-ill haven't changed my mind.” I took a step back as I looked down at my own hands. “It extends beyond that. We're an unconscious image of Dexter. If we've been separated, it's only a matter of time before it leaks into the conscious mind, if it hasn't already.” I looked up at my counterpart as I tried to find reason in this. “How did this happen? When did this happen?” The transparent street around me suddenly vanished, leaving the sky and moon above. The field was no longer flooded. Instead, it was flat and white, illuminated only by the moonlight. I turned to look behind my counterpart as a familiar demonic door with a bright green eye materialized. The eye seemed to stare at us as the moon reflected off its pupil.
Another realization dawned on me as my counterpart angrily strode towards me. “Something Happened To Us!” I shouted. “Something Happened And Now We're Separated. We're Being Manipulated By Forces Unknown!”
He grabbed my collar roughly before I could continue. “Fuck Yea, I'm Being Manipulated And I'm About To Remove The Manipulator.” He roared.
My eyes went wide as I watched him wind his fist back. I pushed back hard, forcing him to release me. “You're Being Foolish!” I shouted back. “Why Would I Want To Separate Us? We Were Performing Fantastically As A Single Unit!”
My counterpart scoffed. “Maybe In Your Eyes, But To Me, I've Always Been Held Back!” He roared. “I’ve Always Had To Play Second Fiddle To You! Well No More! Today, I Take Control!”
I took a step back as my counterpart began to swing. I dodged his flying fists as I tried to reason with him. “We're supposed to be a balance. We can't have one half take full control.”
“Why Not? You've Been Doing It For The Last Nineteen Years!”
“It hasn't been exclusively me. I've relinquished control when necessary.”
“That's Never Been My Choice! It's Always Been When You Have No Other Option. Well, I'm Tired Of Not Controlling My Own Destiny!” He swung his fist around and nailed the side of my head. A ringing began in my ear and I quickly retreated. “That hurt. That Actually Hurt!” My counterpart continued to glare at me. He advanced as I retreated. “I'm Going To Do What You Did To Me For So Long!” I raised my arm in defense as he swung again. A portion of the floor suddenly rose up to form a wall between the two of us. I heard my counterpart curse as he slammed his fist into the impromptu object. I stared at my hand as he quickly moved around the wall. “That Won't Stop Me!” He cried. I quickly repeated the motion and tried to create another wall between us. He anticipated the change and quickly vaulted over the newly forming wall. I quickly retreated as he swung again. “I Won't Rest Until I Have My Revenge!” I backed up as I got into a fighting stance.
My counterpart paused as he saw me finally indicate a conflict. “I believe you.” I gasped, my ringing ear finally subsiding. “That's why I'm doing this,” I repeated the motion one more time, causing a long stretch of wall to rise from the floor. I quickly turned and sprinted away. “If I can control the layout in here, then . . .” I quickly willed more walls, random walls, to start appearing behind me, forming a massive maze.
I continued to run as I heard my counterpart bellow. “You Can't Hide Forever! I Will Find You!” A brief headache radiated through me as I sprinted away. “I can be hurt in this situation. How far would that extend? Is it possible for him to kill me? Given his state, he would if he could.” A brief vision flashed through my head, one of the doors being blown apart. “If he can do that, I don't want to run the risk.” I ran for my life as my counterpart bellowed behind me. “Advantage me: I have the ability to manipulate this plane of existence. Advantage him: He only has to catch me once; I have to avoid him indefinitely and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to change the landscape.” I cursed under my breath as a boom rang out across the plane. I instinctively looked up at the moon. Its waxing face seemed to watch me as I ran through the growing maze of walls. “This might be very painful.”
Amelia
I sat in the office chair as I waited for Brokil to arrive. Bulak had left last night after speaking to Dexter. I couldn't hear everything they said, but it sounded like she made Dexter feel a lot better. Dexter didn't come down from the loft, but the silence that was lost no longer palpable. I went to bed shortly after, having had my own catharsis of another session of tears. I'd woken up to silence, broken only the faint whistling of the wind and the wet drips of freshly halted rain. The noise continued to permeate the barn as the sun slowly rose high. It took an inordinate amount of time for them to arrive, but the knock finally echoed through the barn. I walked over as I braced myself for Brokil's scorn. He glared in contempt as I pulled open the door. “I hope Dexter has come to his senses.” He growled.
I nodded anxiously. “He's asleep right now, but I think he understands the stakes,” I replied.
Brokil nodded as he strode in. “Then we will continue with his training, slowly so that he does not have a childish outburst.”
I nodded as I followed and overtook Brokil. “I'll go wake him up,” I muttered, moving to climb the ladder. Brokil stood there as I climbed into the loft. I hesitated as I saw Dexter tossing and turning in his hammock. He was letting out soft groans as he seemed to struggle with himself. I quickly rushed and grabbed his arm over as his struggles grew intense. “Dexter!” I hissed. He jolted awake, grabbing my arm in a vice-like grip. I grunted in pain as he sat up and stared wildly around, breathing heavy. It took him a minute to take in his situation, all the while he continued to grip my arm. “Dexter,” I grunted again. He turned sharply to stare at me. He heaved a few more times before he relented his grip and brought the hand to his head, letting out a groan. “Bad dream?” I asked, rubbing my now free arm.
He nodded as he continued to rub his head. “I think I'm dehydrated.” He groaned. “My head is killing me.”
I nodded as I helped him climb out.“There’s some water downstairs,” I said guiding him to the ladder. Dexter grimaced as he began to climb down.
I saw Brokil glaring at him as he descended. “Have you learned some respect?” He growled. Dexter nodded weakly as he moved over to the pitcher of water. He lifted it to his lips and drank deeply.
He swallowed a few large gulps before slamming the pitcher back down. “Let's do this.” He blurted out, moving over to Brokil. Brokil grunted in agreement as he turned and walked back outside. Dexter and I followed him as Dexter continued to rub his head.
Brokil turned to us as he set his satchel against the barn. “I will not tolerate any more insubordination.” He growled as Dexter joined him outside. “Be open to my instructions, or lose it entirely, it is your choice.” Dexter nodded as he rubbed his hands together. Brokil looked him up and down. “We will continue where we left off. Move over there and cast barrier.” Dexter nodded as he moved into position. Once he was far enough away, he turned around and cast a barrier, causing a mountainous field to flicker into existence. “Concentrate.” Brokil urged angrily. Dexter growled at the rolling plane as he raised his hand. He slowly clenched his fist as he seemed to concentrate. The barrier gradually flattered as his finger closed but didn't become the plane it was intended to be. Dexter let out a growl of exertion as he tried to achieve the smooth surface. The barrier refused to cooperate as Dexter continued to glare at the field. He suddenly let out a breath and released his grip, causing the barrier to return to its rolling jagged state. Dexter growled in frustration as Brokil shook his head. “You need to concentrate. The spell won't stabilize if you can't concentrate.”
Dexter raised his trembling hand to his head. “I know that.” He retorted impatiently. “It's just abnormally hard to do so right now.”
Brokil let out an angered sigh. “We will wait until you have sorted your spell casting. I will not have an incomplete incantation corrupting my instructions.” Dexter nodded as he tried again. The barrier slowly flattened out again, but once Dexter released his hand it snapped back to its prior state. Dexter growled in frustration as Brokil glared at him in condemnation. Dexter noticed the scorn and took a deep breath as he appeared to collect his thoughts. After a minute he stared determinedly at the rolling barrier and clenched his fist again, slower this time. The barrier flattened out briefly, then disappeared with a soft pop. Brokil let out a disgruntled growl. “I said concentrate, not dissipate.” He said scornfully.
Dexter tilted his head briefly in disbelief then corrected himself. “It . . . it just vanished.” He gasped in astonishment. “I had it and it just . . . disappeared”
Brokil approached Dexter, exasperated. “Well try and concentrate.” He said condescendingly. “If you cannot maintain a simple spell here then you have no hope of casting a spell in the field of battle.”
Dexter nodded as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know I know. I just . . . I can get past this. I can get past this.” Dexter quickly got into a stance and began casting the Barrier again. The blue field flickered briefly into existence then disappeared again with a small pop. Dexter growled in frustration. “It's not fucking holding.” He barked angrily.
A voice suddenly rang out from further down the hill. “I hope I am not interrupting,” Bulak said loudly. We all turned to watch her walk the rest of the way up the hill. “I hope the two of you slept well. I have a few more techniques that I would like to cover today.” She tilted her head as she got closer and saw Brokil's facial expression. “Are your instructions not going well.”
Brokil let out a sigh as he gestured at Dexter. “It seems that he once again is having trouble maintaining spells,” Brokil explained. “I may have to go over my concentration technique in hopes that it solves his problem,”
Dexter growled again. “It's not my fucking concentra-” He suddenly stopped himself, seeming to think for a minute. “That might need to happen.” He finally admitted, moving back to the barn. “Let's go inside for that. Bulak and Amelia can work out here for now.” Brokil nodded as he followed Dexter inside. I glanced at him curiously as I watched him enter the barn. “How late did he stay up? He might be sleep deprived. Though if it’s his D.I.D., he might be switching personalities as he tries to cast. I’ll have to confront him about it at some point.” I let out a sigh as I turned to Bulak. She gave me a quizzical look as the barn door was closed once more.
I scratched my head as I tried to distract myself from the worry I was experiencing.“You had new techniques?” I asked.
Bulak nodded as she took another step closer. “If you ever find yourself without magic, you might find these techniques particularly useful. If performed correctly, they could make movement moderately difficult.”
I grinned slightly as I stretched. “That’ll be perfect. I’ll definitely need to learn those if Brokil was right about anti-magic fields.”
Brokil grinned as she gestured me closer. “Let us begin then.”
We spent the next few hours training. The sky was still overcast from yesterday, but it didn't rain. Bulak went over some techniques to disarm various opponents, slowly guiding me through the proper movements. A few of them involved the points she already taught me, pressuring them to have the opponent drop their weapon. Once she finished instructing, we sparred, ensuring I would be able to properly perform the movements. At first, Bulak started off slow, making sure I had the basics down first before slowly increasing the speed. I eventually found myself struggling to keep up with her as she sped up. She didn’t make it impossible though, slowing down just enough to let me keep pace with her. It quickly tired me out as we continued to spar. By the time we were done, I was breathing heavy and sweating through Dexter’s shirt. Bulak panted alongside me as she gestured at me. “You will need . . . to find time to . . . . improve your stamina.” She remarked.
I nodded in agreement, puffing all the while. “I think I'll . . just go for . . a run in . . the morning every . . now and then.” I panted.
I continued to gasp as Bulak nodded in agreement. “If you wish to . . . defend yourself . . . that would be . . . most wise.” She sighed.
I nodded and finally let out a sigh as I stood and stretched. “In any case, I think I’m done for the day. Should we see how Dexter and Brokil are doing?”
Bulak nodded as she gestured towards the barn. “Lead the way.” She agreed. I nodded as I turned and began leading her up towards the barn. She patted my shoulder as she gave me words of encouragement. “You have improved tremendously. Your reflexes are not quick, but they are growing quicker with each lesson.”
I grinned at the remark. “Thanks. I never had lessons like these before. I’m still kind of unsure how you actually study for this stuff.”
Bulak waved my concerns off as we reached the door. “There is only repetition in this regard.” She replied. “Combat is a quick and unforgiving art. Haste is paramount if you wish to find victory. Repetition is the only way your body will harden itself against others. Unfortunately, you do not have the time others have. You and Dexter have a long way to go before you are truly formidable opponents in battle.”
I nodded as I pulled open the door. “We’ll catch up. We just need ti-” I stopped as I turned to gaze inside the barn. The scene before me was both alien and familiar. Dexter was sitting cross-legged on a table as a book vibrated violently next to him.
Brokil slammed his hand on the table as he urging Dexter on. “Concentrate. This is worse than your previous attempts.” Dexter growled in frustration as the vibrations grew slightly smaller. The vibrations suddenly exploded as Dexter let out a gasp, causing the book to fall to the floor with a loud bang. Dexter cursed under his breath as Brokil let out a sigh. “You are not concentrating.”
Dexter seemed to grit his teeth as heard the statement. “I insist it has nothing to do with my level of concentration. Something is just not clicking with me.” Dexter replied, forcibly calm.
Brokil shook his head as he let out a low growl. “If the spell is not stable you are not concentrating enough.” Brokil insisted. “You cannot cast a spell and not devote your mind to it.”
Dexter let out a guttural sigh. “I am devoting my mind, it's something else that distorting the spell.” They went back and forth like this for a little while. Bulak glanced at me questioningly. I shrugged in response.
She turned back and cleared her throat loudly, causing them to turn to her. “If you have made no progress, I suggest Dexter move onto his physical training for now.” She stated firmly. Neither spoke as they stared at her for a minute.
Then Dexter let out a sigh and hopped down from the table. “I haven't improved here, so I might as well improve elsewhere,” Dexter growled, moving to follow Bulak outside. She nodded as she followed him and pulled the door closed behind her. I turned to Brokil defeatedly as he continued to glare at the closed door.
I let out a calming sigh as I tried to calm Brokil’s obvious agitation. “Just give him some time,” I begged. “He's going to get better, he just needs time.”
Brokil let out a growl as he waved me over. “For his sake, I hope you are correct. For now, let us continue with your instructions.” I nodded as I moved over. Brokil seemed to relax as he opened his satchel again and began searching.
I shifted from one foot to the other as I considered voicing something that was on my mind. “I don’t know if this sounds too optimistic,” I said carefully. “but I might actually have a suggestion for an improvement to Levitate,”
Brokil stopped searching and looked up at me skeptically. “What could you possibly suggest that the mages of the Institute have not come up with?”
I stifled a grin as stopped beside him. It took me a while to explain my idea to him. He was skeptical at first, explaining that the mana needed to maintain the spell for the same amount of time wouldn't matter in the long run. I eventually had to write down some equations to help him grasp the idea, which inevitably turned into me teaching him the Arabic numerals. “It won't be useful to mages and wizards that don't have the discount,” I admitted. “but if it's built just right it'll be very much so for the ones that do.”
Brokil rubbed his head as he heard the end of my proposal. “So, this would be a spell designed specifically for powerful mages, those that possess enough skill for the mystic arts that they need not contribute mana to low-cost spells?” I nodded affirmatively. Brokil rubbed his head for a little while longer before continuing. “Very few people fall into that category, I am still in awe that both of you possess this skill.” I nodded again and waited for him to continue. Brokil spent another minute thinking. “Many have tried to make complex spells easier and have encountered unforeseen consequences. The barrier I taught you is one of these examples.”
I let out a sigh. “This isn't making a complex spell simple, this is making a simple spell a bit more complex.” I insisted. Brokil didn't respond. “If He has learned anything about magic, the elves might already have something like this. If they haven't thought of this, they're probably really close to doing so.” I leaned in slightly. “You do want to knock them down a peg or two, right? This might be one of the spells that allow you to overcome them.”
Brokil paused for a moment then let out a sigh as he rubbed his head again. “Even if you are correct in your assumptions, I do not have the skill to test such a spell. Whatever spell I create could drain me of my mana for the day.”
I thought about his problem for a moment then shrugged. “Maybe you could ask someone that does have the skill,” I suggested. “You could make it like an extra credit assignment.” Brokil tilted his head at me. “You are a teacher, right?”
Surprisingly, Brokil shook his head. “I am an assistant.” He explained. “I work under a teacher at the institution. I do not have the power to give assignments.” I nodded as Brokil glanced at the doorway. “This has been the highest assignment I have been given in decades. Zugorim was not well known within the institution. So, when he was lost, an orphan with very little to his name does not hold much sway in the institution. The only reason they accepted me as a student was my knowledge of magic.”
I nodded as I gestured at the equations. “But do you think you'll be able to find someone willing to help you with this?”
Brokil thought for another minute. “Perhaps.” He finally replied. “Regardless of getting help, it is going to take some time. This would be a high-level spell, meaning it shall take time to correctly make, not including any improvements or corrections that become necessary when the spell is tested. Even if I were to work non-stop, it will not be done in time for Dexter's rite.”
I nodded as Brokil finished his warning. “As long as it gets done,” I replied, cleaning up the papers scattered on the table. I offered them to Brokil but he waved them away. I set them aside as I continued. “For now, let's continue with the magic lessons.”
Brokil thought for a moment, then nodded. “It is time I begin teaching you about healing.” He said, opening a book and turning the pages. “Of course, basic healing is in and of itself quite advanced.” He suddenly stopped on a page and slid the book over to me. “We shall start with the most fundamental technique in healing.” I looked down at the page. Bold letters spelled out ‘Numbness'. I looked skeptically at Brokil. He gestured as he explained. “It is part of almost all healing spells. It allows the mage to halt the feeling of pain in the target area. Otherwise, the recipients would be in excruciating pain. It is honestly intriguing to consider healing being painful.”
I nodded as I turned back to the page. “If you’re regenerating cells, chances are some nerves are going to be triggered,” I remarked. I furrowed my brow as I read the spell. Just from looking, it seemed quite a bit more advanced. There were only single-handed gestures available, but it took up the space of both single and double-handed gestures of prior spells. The symbol was also a lot messier and the incantation looked more like a paragraph than a long sentence.
I glanced at Brokil and he nodded. “It only becomes more difficult from here.” He repeated. I let out a short laugh as I turned back to the entry. “Tell that to my sleepless nights of study. It's just a matter of mindset.”
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