Everyone began talking all at once. Reginald was assuring everyone that he was fine to do this raid and that no one would face any consequences, should anything bad happen. Givgy was yelling at the goatsi for suggesting Caertonn reduce his contract amount when Reginald never had to worry about the money the bard so desperately needed from runs like this one. Kinenhael was freaking out at Reginald's appearance. Caertonn and Breithart were both trying to wrangle the group into order.

“Where is he going?” Lyd asked, pointing at Sindbad, who had just crossed the threshold.

“Wait!” Caertonn called out, but the event had already begun. Several guards rushed against Sindbad, who drew his sword and began holding them off. For a moment, it looked like he was going to vanquish them, but then four more guards appeared and stabbed Sindbad clean through with their spears.

“Well, fuck,” Kine said as Sindbad fell to the ground, dead, and also because those same guards turned and ran into the room and after the group.

“Dammit, I haven't done my prayers!” Reginald said. “I'm going to be at limited power.”

“If you have a mob on you, bring him to me!” Breithart said, running in to stop the guards. A few squeezes on the handle of his sword and it began to morph into a chain blade, which he used to wrap four of the guards together. Bombs and spells flew at the group while Caertonn darted in and out, stabbing and shooting the men when he could.

“Hello?” they heard and saw Sindbad move out from behind a folding screen. “I was wondering if you could help me out. I need to speak with the queen, Sahrazad.”

“Yeah, come join us,” he said. “Wait! Stay by me and out of the way.”

“Do you want me to fight?” he asked.

“What class are you?”

“I'm just a merchant who can fight a little.”

“Okay,” Caertonn said, blocking a sword swing from a guard. “Help me round up the guards and bring them to Breithart. I don't think Lyd can afford to heal you as well, so if your health drops below fifty percent, sit out the fight.”

“I can do that,” Sindbad said, unsheathing his scimitar.

“We need to push forward!” Breithart said. “They'll continue to repopulate unless we hit the next checkpoint!”

“I'll take the rear,” Reginald said. “Chosen One, help me out.”

They quickly fell into a groove where Reginald would pull one of the two guards that would march from either of the side rooms with a weak spell. That guard would be intercepted by Caertonn, who would run him to the forward point of their formation where Breithart would hold him until he, Kinenhael, and Sindbad could whittle the guard down. Lyd was in the middle of this circle, blind, but keeping the group healed.

Finally, after ten sets of guards, they moved past two ornate columns and the guards stopped coming. “We have one minute before it starts again,” Breithart said. “Reginald?”

He shook his caprine head. “Not enough time. I'll pop whatever buffs I have and hope for the best.”

“Givgy, do you know 'The Best Way to a Woman's Heart'?”

“In the key of F? Yeah, I got that one a few months ago.”

“Good. Play that for as long as you can.”

“That raises intelligence, not strength.”

“I'd rather give the advantage to Lyd and Reginald.”

“Okay,” he said, strumming a few times.

They say a man is happy by the food that's on his plate,

By the clothing that she made him, and her beauty and her weight,

But a woman's much less choosy 'bout the features of her mate,

So long's his tongue's a wagglin' and the conversation's great.

“Incoming!” Bretihart said, bashing his sword against his shield. “M'lord, protect Lyd, Givgy, and Reginald. Kinenhael, assist me.”

“Come here, Sindbad,” Caertonn said, gesturing, and the man walked over to him. “Stay behind me and protect our healer if anyone gets through.”

“Do you want me to fight?” he asked.

“Well, yes, if you have to, but only if they get past me.”

Again, they fell into a pattern, the sounds of booms and shots adding to the cacophony of clanging metal, fireballs, and saucy lyrics. They inched their way down the hall until they got to the next safe zone, where they caught their breaths.

“We have five minutes 'til the Sahrazad sequence begins. Is that enough time?” Breithart asked Reginald.

“That will be enough.” He pulled a candle with eight colored stripes and lit it, holding a necklace with differently colored beads.

“Camesce?” Breithart guessed.

“Yes,” he said, opening his eyes briefly. “I will need to concentrate.”

“What's he doing?” Caertonn asked his brute.

“Like myself, Prince Reginald is on the holy path. We must pray to our deities, he to Camesce, the goddess of the elements, and I to Apocom, the god of war. For our devotion, we are given boons and protection. Elementalists play roulette daily with which element they will be strongest in.”

“What does Apocom give you?”

“Often the same increase in stats. He is an easy god to work with.”

“Especially to those who have given Him such glory in their careers,” Givgy added. “I've heard the Fall Tournament was starting soon. Shall you be joining?”

“Likely not. I am on a mission to protect Caertonn and foster his growth.”

Reginald stood and brushed off his robes. “I'm ready.”

“Okay, in this sequence, once we cross that threshold,” he said, pointing to the doorway Sindbad was walking through. He sighed and brandished his sword, heading into the room.

“You seriously need to get a leash on him,” Givgy said to Caertonn. “He's going to get us killed!”

“Sahrazad, my sweet!” they heard coming from the room.

“Please, save me!” a woman cried.

Caertonn bounded into the chambers, taking only a brief moment to take in his surroundings. To his right was a massive, curtained bed in bright pinks and purples. Surrounding the area were chairs, settees, bureaus, and a vanity. A woman in an ornate red dress sat on the edge of the bed, her hands clutching the fabric of the covers. About fifty feet away, to Caertonn's left, was a gigantic man named Shahryar in a turban with several soldiers behind him.

“We have to fight him?” Caertonn asked quietly.

Breithart turned in his direction. “Size doesn't matter, m'lord. Remember how large the Brass Bull was?”

“True.”

“There's never been a boss that I couldn't overtake. Now, let's go. Keep the mooks from flanking me and going after the Queen.”

Caertonn found it was easier to stay behind Breithart and to shoot at the boss with his pistol, charging to the side when a mook broke free. With Sindbad's help, and the occasional assistance from Reginald and Kine, he could burn down the mobs on him own.

“What story is she on?” Breithart asked.

“Three Princes,” Reginald answered.

“We have about sixty seconds before he enrages and goes after the Queen with gusto. He's vulnerable where the giant jewel on his chest is. Aim for that with your pistol, sir.”

Caertonn nodded and concentrated on the battle. Or, at least he did for a few moments. His role in that moment was limited, since they were just waiting for Shahryar to change tack. And so, his mind wandered and he started looking around the room. The Queen was still speaking, her hands folded in her lap as she told the tale of three princes vying for the hand of a woman. He took in the décor, vibrant and beautiful, broken by stark white molding and printed designs. There was a gorgeous mural on the wall that showed a man on a flying carpet, which got Caertonn thinking. He glanced around the room once more.

“When he enrages, can you turn him ninety degrees to the right?” he asked Breithart.

“My right or his, m'lord?”

“Yours. I'll signal you.”

Shahryar suddenly yelled and grew in size. Not wanting his doubt to stop his momentum, he ran back towards the Queen. “Pardon!” he shouted, jumping from her bed to a dresser, then onto a closet, running from alcove to alcove. “Breithart!” he signalled.

Breithart yelled and Shahryar's attention focused squarely on him as he moved to the side. Caertonn jumped and caught the metallic chandelier, swinging a few times before diving down to Shahryar. “Duck!” he yelled and Breithart genuflected just before Caertonn plunged his foil right through the jewel. It shattered and the sultan yelled, falling over and sinking to zero health.

Reginald stood with a fire spell in his outstretched arm, blinking a few times before coming to and snuffing it out. “I've never seen Shah get taken out in ten seconds in his last phase and I've run this with a level forty-eight brute.”

“What the fuck did you just do, Curt?” Kine asked, laughing.

“I just used a trajectory,” he said, suddenly realizing everyone was looking at him. “You know, point A to point B? Breithart said we needed to hit the gem and I thought that if I were tall enough to do so, I could hit it. I didn't know that you needed to hit it once with a fair shot.”

“Very well done, m'lord." He stood watching him for a few moments, shook himself, then said, "Now we can move on.”

Sindbad was already walking towards the Queen and they rushed to catch up to him. “Sindbad!” they heard her say. “I haven't seen you in a long time!”

“I came as soon as I got your letter. Are you all right?”

“I am now.” She looked away from him and to Caertonn, her eyebrows furrowing for a moment. “The Chosen One. Welcome to my palace.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“You saved me and reunited me with my friend. Is there a boon I can grant you?”

“Ask for another Eod token,” Kine asked out of the side of his mouth.

“Are you kidding?” Givgy asked. “He could ask her for a rare weapon or armor piece.”

Though he wished otherwise, he had been paying attention. “I saw a bottle of wine in a rack over there. May I have that?”

“Certainly.”

Caertonn retrieved the item that read as gold in his viewer and put it in his spatial spacer. “Thank you.”

“Chosen One, a moment, please.”

He moved next to her and knelt when she beckoned him to her level. She whispered, “As a storyteller to a man with a story, never let the audience nor the narrator dictate your actions. Follow your heart.”

He looked at her in the eyes and nodded solemnly as she gave him an encouraging smile.

“Sindbad, you must continue your journey. I task you with helping these brave heroes finish their own odyssey.”

“I will do my best, my queen.”

“Good luck, my saviors.”

The seven of them went through the servant's door and walked out onto the street, a silly place to put a palace. They were in a city, though one with plaster walls and sandy streets instead of the wood and stone of Metraft. There was the scent of spices in the air and of meat sizzling on open braziers.

“Smells good,” Kine said, taking a deep breath.

“Goat meat!” a vendor yelled, putting a skewer out for them. “You want?”

“Ah, n-no,” Kine said, eyeing Reginald, who wasn't paying attention to the exchange.

“What's next?” Caertonn asked.

Breithart slowed his pace. “We will be tasked with rooting out a thieves' guild here in the city.”

“Remember, the password is 'open anise',” Reginald said.

“I thought it was, 'open cinnamon',” Givgy said.

“It's a joke that adventurers have when doing Sahrazad, sir. They pretend to forget the password.”

“Ah,” Caertonn said flatly.

“Oh, Breithart,” Givgy said, shaking his head sadly, “you have no sense of humor, do you? We just wanted to have a lark with the boy for a few minutes.”

After a moment, the brute said, “It's 'open cumin'.”

Caertonn laughed. “I think it's pronounced 'coo-min', but that's a good joke.”

“Thank you, m'lord.”

They strolled down the dusty street, as people walked past them or yelled out their wares. Several times Caertonn thought to ask Breithart or Reginald what to do next, but he noticed certain things. All the side streets and alleys appeared cluttered or drab, unlike the one they walked down, which was colorful and bright, inviting even. Also, there were arrows painted on the street.

"How do you know the Queen?" Caertonn asked Sindbad.

"We're childhood friends," he answered. "Her father is the vizier and my father worked in the palace. I haven't seen her in years, but I've often thought of her."

The way he paused to smile as he thought of her made his feelings obvious. "You're sweet on her," Caertonn said.

"I would do anything to gain her hand. I've been working as a merchant in hopes of making enough money to provide for her. I was devastated to hear she was married, and more so when she said he was going to kill her."

"Stick with us, Sindbad, and we'll help you get what you need."

"Thank you," he said, smiling.

“I think I see him,” Reginald said.

“You have better eyes than I do, then, and I was looking for him.”

Caertonn opened his mouth to ask what they meant when Kinenhael moved next to him. “Speaking of eyes, have you seen the elementalist's eyes? He has rectangular pupils. It's freaky, man.”

“You have slitted pupils, like a cat.”

“Well, that's normal. It's you round pupils that are the strange ones. But, still, rectangular. It's weirding me out.”

“Then don't look at him.”

“Help!” they heard and Caertonn looked up to see a boy approach them. “Can you help me?”

“What's wrong?” Givgy answered in a practiced manner.

“My father's been kidnapped by a thieves' guild! They're holding him somewhere in the city. Please, can you find him and rescue him?”

“Why, of course we can.” Givgy buffed his nails on his coat. “Are there any clues?”

“Yes! My father was wearing a poorly patched coat and I noticed that he dropped some bits of fabric. Here! Follow this trail to the thieves' den.” He handed Caertonn a piece of paper with a map on it, which sent a shiver of thrill down his spine for a moment. “Will you help me?”

“Of course,” he said. “We'll save your father.”

“Thank you! Oh, thank you so much!”

The boy turned and disappeared into the crowd as Caertonn studied the map. “It looks like we need to continue down this street, then over three blocks, then-”

“It's actually down that alley three blocks,” Givgy said, pointing.

“Hey! Maybe Curt wants to enjoy the thrill of the chase,” Kine said. “You got somewhere to be? You're spoiling it for those of us who haven't been here before.”

“Fair point,” Givgy said, holding up his hands. “Let's let the newbs figure things out. No helping.”

Caertonn led them through streets and back alleys, sometimes having to turn back when the trails were mixed up and he went the wrong way. After a half-hour, he said, “Maybe we could just let them tell us where-”

“No, come on!” Kinenhael said. “Party of the experience is savoring the journey. We have plenty of time on our hands.”

“But-”

Kinenhael came over and put his arm around Caertonn, speaking closely in his ear. “If we let them push us around now, we'll never get ahead. They'll always be talking down to us low levels, like they're doing us a favor. Besides, I don't like that Givgy guy, and if he's annoyed, then I'm happy.”

“You know you seem to dislike a lot of people. You didn't like Lyd and Breithart at first, and while you still come up with zany theories about what or who he is, you get along better with him.”

“I overheard what he did with his contract. He's trying to take advantage of us.”

“So, what? We have plenty of money...”

“It's...the elitism,” he said, and Caertonn finally understood what his issue was.

“Other than his eyes, you seem at ease with Reginald.”

“Reginald's a goat,” he said, brushing it away. “He's a prince, but he doesn't act like it.”

“Ah.” It wasn't about being better so long as you didn't think you were better, Caertonn thought, just like all the elves back home.

They took a few more streets until the trail stopped in front of a blue door. Givgy said, “Lo and behold, three blocks from where we started, the thieves' den.”

“I enjoyed walking around and seeing things,” Lyd said. “I practiced reading.”

“Time well spent,” Caertonn said. “Now, what can we expect?”

Breithart began to speak but Givgy shut him up with an “Ah! Ah! Ah! Remember, we're letting them 'savor the journey' as the elf put it.”

Not wanting to let the conversation escalate into a fight, Caertonn said, “I'm sure we can figure it out or improvise. Let's go.”

“We have to say the password,” Breithart said.

“Password?” Caertonn asked, scratching his head.

“It was written on the walls as we were walking around, sir. Perhaps you saw it when you looked up quickly.”

“No, I was studying the map.” He turned to look at Kine, who gave him a sheepish smile and shrugged.

“I saw something!” Lyd said.

“Okay, what did it say?”

“O...”

“Oh? Oh, what?”

“P...”

“Ah, you're spelling out-”

“E...”

“Mmmhmm.”

“N...”

“O, P, E, N, Open.”

“S...E...there may have been another S...A...M...and, I think the last letter was a Q.”

“Q? But, that doesn't fit.”

“Yes, a Q.”

“Open...Sesamq?”

“It's 'E',” Givgy hissed under his breath.

“Could it have been an 'E', Lyd?”

The minotaur shook his head. “It was definitely a Q.”

“Why don't we try 'open sesame'?” No sooner than Caertonn said the words did the door slide open.

“It was a 'Q',” Lyd insisted.

“Let's just go inside and take care of this fight.”

It was dark and dry inside the room, with a few torches burning on the walls. In the center of the room was a white chalk circle with a man tied to a chair. Caertonn rushed to him. “Are you okay?”

“This man tried to steal from us!” a voice said from the darkest part of the room. “And those who steal from the Forty Thieves do not live to give away our location!”

Thirty-nine men filled the room around the circle where the seven members of the group waited. “Get them!” they heard and the men drew their swords.

It was a slow and dismal fight, with little headway after fifteen minutes of fighting. Lyd was struggling to keep up with the healing as they were attacked from all sides, the groups of mooks shifting every thirty seconds or so.

“How is it that I can hurt some but not others?” Caertonn asked.

“Just tell him!” Reginald said. “We're going to get nowhere without their help!”

“Hey, no! They said they wanted to 'savor the experience'. Let's let their savoring wipe our group.” The bard hit a discordant note and swore.

Kinenhael turned. “I just didn't want you spoiling shit for us. I think you can give us a hint now.”

“The wall, m'lord,” Breithart said and Caertonn looked up. Across the border under the ceiling were different pictograms in different colors, a red fist, a yellow arrow, a green song note, and a blue ball. He looked down at the groups of men and noted that their sashes were different colors, red, yellow, green, or blue.

“Kine, when the ones with the yellow belts gang up, use your strongest power on them. Only attack the yellows!”

“Very good, m'lord,” Breithart said, joining his side. The mooks didn't cross the white line, so they didn't need to protect Lyd, Givgy, and Reginald, but the enemies did gang up on them. Caertonn and Breithart switched where they were every thirty seconds, rotating to burn down the health of the ten fighters with red sashes, then the green ones weakened by Givgy. When the last one fell back onto the mass of corpses, they heard a roar.

“Now you must face me!”

A massive man that filled the dark part of the room, which Caertonn realized was two stories tall once the additional torches had been lit, began lobbing swords at the circle. Breithart intercepted the boss while Caertonn assisted. “When his sash changes color, we must stop and let that person take over. I will hold him, but you must stop hitting him. Ready? Yellow, go, Kinenhael!”

The music stopped, Reginald held his spells, and Caertonn staggered away as bombs were lobbed and his sawmerangs cleaved through the boss and returned. “Red, let's go, m'lord!”

The two began chopping into the boss, stabbing and cutting. Caertonn managed to shoot him square in the chest before it changed to blue. “Your Majesty, you're turn!”

Balls of bright colors whizzed past Caertonn, hitting the boss in his face, across his chest, and a few times in the groin that made Caertonn wince. Each was bright with color, its own light radiating from the swirling surface of magic, and each was attuned to a different element. He could smell the acrid stench of the fireball and remembered the stench of his home after the fire hand ravaged it. “Give Givgy a few moments to work his song before attacking. Green, go, Givgy! And....attack!”

The onslaught drained the boss's life quickly and he crashed to the floor, dead. Caertonn caught his breath and touched the corpse, revealing the bag that contained his loot. He grinned and said, “Woot!” as he looked at Breithart. “These are great items. Should we give something to Sindbad? Sindbad?”

Their new companion was nowhere to be found.

“You definitely need to put a leash on him,” Givgy said, taking his Eod token.

“What does it mean when there's a '2/3' sign with his quest?”

“We just killed the second boss,” Kine offered. “Maybe it's a progress bar?”

“There's four bosses in Sahrazad,” Breithart said. “He may only have three lives, m'lord. That's a common parameter in escort quests.”

“Lives? That fucker is as dumb as an incumbent senator,” Kine said. “He won't make it to the end if he doesn't keep getting himself killed.”

“I think I found him,” Lyd said, looking down at something in the corner. “He smells funny.”

Something moved and Lyd screamed. Sindbad popped up and said, “Hello? I was wondering if you could help me out. I need to speak with the queen, Sahrazad.”

“You already did that,” Caertonn said.

“I...did? Oh, yes.”

“She wanted you to journey with us and help us kill a few people.”

“She did?”

“Sindbad. I'm going to need you to stay right next to me from now on. I'll tell you what to do. Don't do anything unless I tell you to.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

“As for the rest of you, I'm brokering a deal. Veterans, don't tell us newbies things about the story of Sahrazad. Tell us critical pieces of information, like strategy and whether or not a...I don't know...building is going to fall down on top of us. Fair?”

“Fair, sir,” Breithart said.

“Kine?”

He crossed his arms. “Fair.”

“All right, on to the next boss, which is...?”

“Three Princes, m'lord.”

“Three Princes. Sindbad, next to me. All right...uh...I take it we leave the thieves' den and we can take it from there?”

“Precisely, sir.”

Once the seven had left the den, they began following Caertonn, who was following the arrows on the street. Sindbad faithfully shadowed Caertonn as the streets and alleys began to look familiar. “Are we going back to the palace?” he finally asked.

“The Three Princes are actually brothers to Shahryar, sir. They live in the palace.”

“It would have been easier if we could have done them before the thieves' den.”

“It would have, m'lord, but it wouldn't have been Sahrazad.”

They arrived at the gates where two guards stopped them from entering. “Here's where we begin,” Reginald said, genuflecting to pray while Givgy began to serenade the group into heightened health and mana. Caertonn rolled his shoulders and looked around before spotting Sindbad walking up to the gate. He ran up and horse collared the man before he could start anything.

“Stay by me.”

“Would you like me to fight?”

“Yes, fight, and if your health drops to twenty-five percent, run to Breithart. And don't run up ahead.”

“You should probably make sure he doesn't try to take a short cut on us,” Kinenhael said, readying his incremental elemental.

“No short cuts.”

“Make sure he doesn't taunt, either,” Givgy said.

“No taunting. Are we ready?”

“Everyone is at max health and mana, m'lord. We're ready.”

The seven charged the gates, dispatching the two guards quickly. Once they were dead, they ran to the next set of guards, entering the palace within a minute of their onset. “Leveled up!” Kine shouted, pumping his fist.

“Congratulations!” they said, as the next set of guards turned the corner and launched their attack.

They moved swiftly when they could, pausing to allow Breithart to gain the attention of the enemies before pushing them back. After a few dozen mobs they reached a large, white doorway and stopped to regain their health.

“Which two are we picking?” Givgy asked.

“What do you mean?” Caertonn said.

Reginald turned, his eyes unfixed. “The Three Princes requires the group to choose one of the three to win the hand of the princess they are fighting over. In turn, that prince helps you fight the other two. There are different strategies depending on who you choose.”

“Which one should we choose?”

“Well, usually you pick one based on how your group is balanced. I'm thinking we should take the Green Prince, since our healer is at the minimum level to enter.”

“There's something also to be said about burning the boss' health down with extra fire power. Quickly done,” Givgy added. “I'd pick the Blue Prince.”

“There's a balance of both, m'lord. The Red Prince would hold one of the princes while we attacked the other.”

“All right, then. I'll go with the Red Prince. Do we agree?” There was no dissent. “Then let's go.”

Caertonn opened the doors and saw three similar looking men sitting on thrones, each wearing a turban with a jewel in the center, a coat and shalvar pants, each in predominantly red, green, or blue. As he stepped forward to start the fight, he noticed that the Red Prince's jewel was outlined in gold.

“Finally, our fair friends have arrived to deliver their verdict,” the Blue Prince said. “Who shall it be? Which of us will be lucky enough to win the hand of the princess?”

“I choose...” He paused, realizing that if he chose the Red Prince, he would never get the jewel, which was the one Duke Kief wanted for his wife. “I choose the Blue Prince.”

“Sir?” Breithart asked.

“Sorry, I'll explain afterward.”

“Ha!” the Blue Prince exclaimed, standing with his arms on his hips. “The princess shall be mine after all. For choosing so wisely, I will assist you in taking on my angry brothers.”

“How dare he?” said the angry brothers, also standing. They each ran to opposite ends of the room and enlarged to three times their normal size.

“Why does everything have to be or get so fucking large?” Kinenhael asked.

“Breithart, hold off the Red Prince while we take out the Green. Sindbad, you're with me. I'll brute him while you guys burn him down. Lyd, focus your healing on me.”

Breithart held his sword straight in front of him in a salute, then ran to intercept the Red Prince. Caertonn used his Kick action, which stunned the boss. “Go! Go! Go!” he said, hoping that they had enough power to get the Green Prince down before he began attacking him in earnest.

The Green Prince snapped out of his daze and stabbed Caertonn with his sword. He felt the pain just as Lyd healed him. Yes, it had been a strong hit, over half his life gone with one swing. Another hit, and he was down to forty percent. Another heal, up to eighty percent. Another hit...

The Prince suddenly turned and began attacking Sindbad. His health, too, dropped in a staggering amount with one hit. The boss pulled back for another swing and Caertonn acted. He jumped into the air and punched the boss, who turned just in time to hit Caertonn. He fell and couldn't get up, but at least he heard a loud thud next to him. Either it was the boss or Lyd.

Sparkling green filled his vision and he felt the pleasant tingle of healing on his neck. He stood and saw the group had focused their attention on the Red Prince. He was already at fifty percent health by the time Caertonn had run to him. Another kick, another few seconds and the boss was dead.

Givgy laughed and clapped Caertonn on the shoulder. “One health! You had one health point left before Lyd healed you. You were mere inches from death!”

“Well done, sir,” Breithart said, sheathing his sword. “Why the last minute change?”

Caertonn walked over to the Red Prince and tapped his corpse. His intuition was right and he held up the jewel. “This is for one of my quests. I realized at the last moment that he probably wouldn't give us the jewel, that we'd have to take it from him. Sorry about that, guys.”

“Not a problem!” Givgy chimed in. “As one of our level two songs says, 'The Ends Justify the Means When the Boss is Good and Dead'.”

“One more to go,” Kine said, “and then I'm having wake and baked beans for lunch.”

“You have got to be the strangest elf I've ever met,” the bard said.

“Thanks!” he said, grinning as he slapped his goggles back on his face.

The torches on the wall lit on their own and Caertonn took this as a hint to leave. “Sindbad, stay with me.”

“Would you like me to fight?”

“Uh, no, not unless we're attacked. We're good for now.”

“Would you like me to find gold?”

“Uh, you...wait. 'Find gold'?”

“Yeah! I can detect hidden caches of gold in certain locations.”

“Like where?”

“There was a thousand gold back at the thieves' den.”

“A thousand gold?” Givgy exclaimed, groaning. “Are you kidding me?”

“That is a sizable amount of gold,” Reginald said, rubbing his goatee. “Right here, in Sahrazad? Can we go back?”

“No,” Breithart said. “We'd have to restart the raid and there would be no guarantee we'd see Sindbad again.”

“Let us know of any other gold,” Caertonn said, “but don't run after it. Just tell me.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

“Is there a nearby altar to sacrifice someone for that gold?” Givgy asked. “I nominate the elf.”

“Hey, fuck you!” Kine said. “If anyone's sacrificing me, it's me!”

“M'lord, once we pass the exit to this alley the event will start. We should recharge.”

“Thank you, Breithart” Caertonn said. He reloaded his pistol with the powder and bullets that came with it while Givgy sang and Reginald chewed on another can that Kinenhael had given him. Lyd drank from his canteen and reloaded his spells, and Kinenhael recharged his incremental elemental gun as well as reload his bomb sheath. “Ready? Let's go!”

The alley opened up on an open market with several platform and vendors tucked in the corners and in the mouths of the major streets. Almost everyone wore long robes in dun colors, save one young man who wore deep blue pants and a red vest. “A straightforward fight, sir. We must wait until he releases the djinn, then we may fight him.”

Caertonn watched as the young man held a lamp in front of him. His hand rose to rub it, but before he could, a voice rang out across the square. “Aladdin!” Sindbad shouted.

The man looked around and finally spotted their companion, who had slipped past them before Caertonn could yank him back. “Sindbad! What are you doing?”

“Doing what I can to get what I want!” he said before unsheathing his sword.

“Are we supposed to help him?” Caertonn asked Breithart.

“I don't know, m'lord. I've never seen this before.”

The two men engaged in a duel that chased the market clear of merchants and lasted several minutes before Sindbad finally stabbed Aladdin in the chest. He fell to the ground and bled out.

“Are we done?” Lyd asked.

“I'm not sure...” Reginald started before Sindbad retrieved the lamp and rubbed it himself. The sky darkened and a sinister cloud plumed from the golden vessel, filling the air with the stench of brimstone, chalk, and dust.

“MASTER, YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM THE LAMP. I SHALL GRANT THEE THREE WISHES. WHAT IS IT YOU REQUEST?” the djinn said, a massive, well-muscled man with sharp, golden eyes and a tornado instead of legs.

“I want you to kill those men!” he said, pointing at their group.

“Hey, fuck you, buddy! We helped you out!” Kine yelled.

“UM, WELL, THIS IS A BIT EMBARRASSING. I ACTUALLY CAN'T KILL PEOPLE.”

Sindbad looked up at the djinn. “You can't kill them?”

“NO, THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND MY POWER.”

“Well, can you kill a goat?”

“YES.”

“Why not a goat-person, then?”

“IT HAS TO DO WITH THE SOCIAL STIGMA OF WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED CONSCIABLE ACCORDING TO THE PREY VERSUS PREDATOR MINDSET AND WHAT WOULD BE SEEN AS MURDER OR CANNIBALISM. YOU SEE, MOST PEOPLE ON BALOBAER FEEL THAT IT IS QUITE MORAL TO KILL ANIMALS FOR FOOD, BUT NOT IF THEY-”

“Oh, shut up,” Sindbad said. “What can you do, then?”

“I CAN ASSIST YOU IN KILLING THEM.”

“That's what I want to hear. For my first wish, I wish to become a powerful warrior.”

“YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.”

The djinn clapped his hands and Sindbad was transformed into a paladin with armor identical to Breithart's. “I feel flattered,” he muttered.

“I don't,” Reginald said. “I will forfeit my share if you let me land the killing blow. 'Goat-person', indeed.”

Breithart ran forward to intercept Sindbad with a roar. They broke on each other, clanging their swords in parries and thrusts that did little more than hold each other at bay.

Reginald held his fire spell, his eyes darting between the two. “I can't...I don't know which one is Breithart and which is Sindbad. I keep losing focus of which is which.”

“Oh, maybe that's why the bosses get so big,” Kinenhael said, also holding his fire.

Caertonn stood still, poised to join the fight, but unsure who to attack. While Breithart's name did hover above his head, the two moved so quickly that it was hard to read it against the background of the streets and buildings. “I never thought to ask if we can hurt each other.”

“Yes,” Reginald answered. “If I throw a fireball at Breithart, he'll lose health.”

Caertonn sucked in his teeth in frustration. He was a bit more appreciative of the situation healers had trying to heal their group members. “Breithart!” he shouted. One of the two figures blocked a thrust and turned to face the group, the second a moment later. “We can't tell which of you is Sindbad.”

“He is,” they both said, pointing at each other.

“Fucking hell,” Kinenhael said under his breath.

“Ask him something only he would know,” Givgy suggested.

“Breithart, what's your first name?”

“You know his name?” The bard looked surprised. “I thought...”

“Matt!” the one on the right said. The one on the left shouted the same a second after, but the fireballs, bombs, and gunfire was already headed in his direction. Breithart pressed a few buttons on his forearm while Sindbad was recovering and changed his armor's color to one that was black as well as shifting his sword into a scythe. He held Sindbad off at a distance until his health dropped by a third, at which point Sindbad jumped away.

“Djinn!” Sindbad yelled, clamoring to the top of one of the stages. “For my second wish, I'd like to be a powerful sorcerer!”

“TO CLARIFY, ARE WE DROPPING THE WHOLE WARRIOR THING OR WOULD YOU STILL LIKE TO BE A WARRIOR AS WELL AS A SORCERER?”

Sindbad let out a frustrated sigh. “Obviously both!”

“RIGHT. NOW, DO YOU HAVE A PARTICULAR MAGIC SYSTEM YOU WOULD LIKE TO DRAW FROM?”

“'Magic system'?”

“SEE, THERE IS YOUR WELL-USED NATURAL MAGIC SYSTEM, LIKE THE ONE THAT THE ELEMENTALIST IS USING. FIRE, WATER, NATURE, STONE, ETC. THERE'S THE NECROMATIC SYSTEM INVOLVING RESURRECTING THE DEAD AND SPIRITS. THEN YOU HAVE YOUR BALLISTIC STYLES, BODY MORPHING TECHNIQUES, PSYCHOKINESIS, CHARMS, WITCHCRAFT, VOODOO, DEMONIC SPELLS, THE SLOW PROGRESSION THAT TAKES SEVERAL EPISODES, THE-”

“I want them all!”

“AH, WELL, SOME OF THEM CONTRADICT EACH OTHER.”

“Contradict?”

“YES, I CAN'T EXACTLY GIVE YOU DEMON SUMMONING CAPABILITIES IF YOU ALSO HAVE HOLY ATTRIBUTES.”

“I kind of like this djinn,” Kinenhael said as they politely waited for the second round of the battle to begin.

“Give me the power that doesn't contradict all the other stuff and shut up until you are finished!” he screamed.

The djinn's eyes narrowed, but he folded his arms and nodded his head. Sindbad laughed maniacally, holding his arms before him. “Yes! I can feel the power!” He pointed his finger at Breithart and shot his first spell. Breithart held up his arms in an X in front of him and awaited the damage as a white ball flew at him. It landed on the ground and rolled to his feet, standing on it's tiny legs.

It was a kitten.

“A wittle kitten!” Caertonn said, gasping. “It's so cute!”

“A kitten?” Sindbad asked, looking up at the djinn.

“KITTEN MAGIC IS THE ONLY MAGIC SYSTEM NOT CANCELLED BY LIGHT OR DARK FORMS, NATURAL OR FORMED MAGIC, OR BEING OR VOID SPELLS. THEY ARE BELOVED BY WITCHES AND TOLERATED BY ALMOST EVERYONE, EVEN THE CANINE PRIESTS OF KARNIRASHKA. THIS WAS ALL THAT WAS LEFT.”

“But I can't be a powerful sorcerer with kittens!” he screamed.

“NO, BUT YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL KITTEN SORCERER ON BALOBAER.”

“Arggh!” He shot a few more kittens at Breithart before giving up and attacking him once more with his sword. It wasn't long before his health was down to a third.

“Djinn!” he yelled, disengaging for the stage once more. He panted, using his sword to hold himself up. “I will make my last wish!”

“WHAT IS IT YOU COMMAND, O WISE AND OMNICIENT MASTER?”

“Fuck you,” he said, breathing heavily.

“THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR.”

“I wish to become immortal.”

The djinn sighed deeply. “ONCE AGAIN I FIND MYSELF HAVING TO INFORM YOU OF SOME LIMITATIONS. I CANNOT MAKE YOU IMMORTAL, ESPECIALLY NOT NOW THAT YOU ARE IMBUED WITH DECAY MAGIC.”

“Fine! I wish to be a powerful healer!”

“AS YOU COMMAND, MY MASTER.”

“Ahh!” he said, healing himself back to full health. “Now there is no way you can kill me! I am essentially immortal!” Sindbad jumped from the stage and began to attack Breithart once more.

“What do we do?” Caertonn asked. “If he can fight and heal himself, we'll never be able to touch him.”

“I don't know,” Reginald said, still focusing his spells on Sindbad. “There's always some way to kill a boss, some necessary step or trick or hidden weakness.”

“Perhaps we could go get Sahrazad?” Givgy offered. “She might talk some sense into him.”

"Sindbad!" Caertonn shouted. "Why do you want to kill us?"

"I need to be the most powerful being here to save my queen! So long as you all live, you will try to take the lamp from me."

"Never trust a mook!" Givgy said in disgust.

“Wait,” Kine said. “Look at the djinn.”

“He's smiling,” Caertonn said.

“Yes. I think we should wait a moment.”

Breithart was flagging, his health slowly slipping as he fought Sindbad. Lyd did his best to heal his brute, but it wasn't long before he was out of mana and unable to recuperate enough to keep Breithart from dropping below a quarter. The group looked on in horror as their own mana depleted and their group was in jeopardy of wiping.

Finally, three men entered the square. “Come on, Sindbad, we need to go to the Copper Mine now!”

“What?” he asked, looking over. “Who are you?”

“We're your party, silly. Now, let's get going.”

“What is this?” he asked, looking up at the djinn.

“YOU WANTED TO BE A POWERFRUL HEALER. HEALERS EXIST ONLY TO HEAL THEIR GROUPS.” Two shackles formed on Sindbad's wrists. “AND THAT IS NOW YOUR GROUP.”

“I don't understand!”

“YOU WILL NOW LIVE THE LIFE OF A WARRIOR-HEALER, ALWAYS HEALING, NEVER TOPPING THE DAMAGE CHARTS AS YOU SO LONG TO. YOU WILL BE FORCED TO HEAL THE PARTY DAY IN AND DAY OUT, DUNGEON AFTER DUNGEON, BORING SPELL AFTER BORING SPELL. AND WHEN THE PARTY DIES, IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAULT FOR NOT HEALING THE BRUTE OR THE CASTER OR THE MELEE. ALWAYS. YOUR. FAULT.”

“Nooooooooo!” He was jerked in the direction of the group as Breithart knelt to keep from slumping to the floor.

“I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR WISHES TO BE SATISFACTORY.”

The group exchanged glances, then looked at Lyd. “You are a great healer, Lyd,” Caertonn said.

“Yes, a level ten healing for Sahrazad!” Givgy said.

Reginald put his hand on the minotaur's shoulder. “With no racial passives. And none of us died!”

“Great job!” Kinenhael said.

“Thank you, guys,” the big minotaur said, grinning.

“Are we finished?” Caertonn asked the djinn.

“YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED THE DJINN ENCOUNTER AS WELL AS SAHRAZAD.” He folded his arms and nodded. “ALL OF YOUR QUESTS ARE COMPLETE AND THE ITEMS AND CASH YOU WOULD HAVE RECEIVED FROM ALADDIN ARE UNDER THAT PILE OF KITTENS.”

Caertonn ran over and gently removed the cats, finding a sack underneath them with Eod tokens, cash, quest items, components for several trades, and a few new armor and weapon pieces. “Lyd, look at this healing staff!” Caertonn said, handing him the stick of polished oak with an intricate curl and carved leaves. “You can use this when you hit level eleven.”

“I did! Right after the fight ended!”

“I did as well. Congratulations.”

Givgy and Reginald both helped Breithart to stand and clapped him on the back of his armor, gently. A round of thanks and congratulations went around again before Caertonn asked where the exit was.

“ONE MOMENT, IF YOU PLEASE,” the djinn said. “I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH THE CHOSEN ONE.”

“Yes?” Caertonn turned to face him.

“I WOULD LIKE TO GRANT YOU ONE WISH BEFORE YOU LEAVE, THOUGH I MUST ADD A CONDITIONAL TO IT.”

“Oh, that's quite all right. Thank you for your help, but I think we're pretty happy-”

“Ask for money!” Givgy hissed into his ear. “We did get squat from Sindbad, and we could've gotten a thousand gold!”

“Um, I suppose I'd like to wish for riches?”

“AN UNINSPIRED WISH, BUT A WISH NONETHELESS. MY CONDITIONAL IS THAT, SINCE I AM CONSTRAINED TO THIS PLACE, I CAN GIVE YOU A THOUSAND GOLD. BUT, YOU MUST SPEND IT ALL WITHIN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS OR IT WILL DISAPPEAR.”

“Okay,” he said. “That's easy.”

“MOST MEN BELIEVE IT TO BE EASY, BUT THEY OFTEN FIND IT HARD WHEN IT COMES TO BUYING WARES. NOT EVERY MERCHANT IS WILLING TO PART WITH THEIR PRIZED HORSE OR FINEST CRAFTS.”

“Oh, no, I wouldn't buy anything.”

“THEN THE GOLD IS FORFEITED.”

“Well, with all due respect, you said I needed to spend it, not necessarily buy anything. I would buy stock.”

“STOCK?” the djinn asked, his eyebrow quirking up.

“Yes. I'd expand my portfolio, buying bonds, stocks, futures. To be honest, I'd have to ask my friend Guy about it, but he could set me up with a thousand gold in investments.”

“WHAT?”

“I mean, I can go buy a donkey and buy the grain to feed it, but I'd still have to replace the grain when it rots or is eaten and heal the donkey when it gets sick. If I buy a hundred gold in stock, six months down the road I could have fifteen hundred gold.”

“BUT WHAT OF THE RISK?”

“Oh, yes, it is risky. There's always the concern of the market bottoming out. But, Guy told me that he could diversify that to minimize the risk.”

The djinn sighed and slumped his shoulders before handing a bag of red coins to Caertonn. “SPEND THEM WISELY,” he grumbled.

“Thank you,” he said. “You're a great djinn.”

“YOU THINK SO?” he asked, perking up.

“Yes. You were very fair and clever.”

The djinn looked down bashfully. “WELL, GOSH, THANK YOU.”

“I don't suppose you'd mind topping off my friend Breithart? Our healer is still low on mana and our brute is still hurting.”

“OH, YES, I CAN DO THAT.”

With a fold of the arms and a nod, Breithart was healed. “I feel a bit dizzy, sir. Thank you, O Great and Powerful Djinn.”

“YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME.”

They waved farewell to the djinn as they opened a door in the market that said “exit” and found themselves outside of Sahrazad once more.

“That was certainly an interesting experience,” Reginald said from under his drawn cowl.

“Quite so. I've never seen the bosses act so strangely,” Givgy said.

Kinenhael shrugged. “You get used to it.”

“Well, I didn't get the final shot, but I planned on taking zero percent anyway. Would you mind if I gave my cut to Givgy?” Reginald asked.

“Not at all,” Caertonn said. Givgy looked like he was going to cry.

“Let's remember our bargain and keep quiet about certain things.”

“Absolutely,” Givgy said, though he was looking at Breithart when he said it.

“It was an honor working with you, Breithart,” Reginald said, shaking the brute's hand. “I've been a fan of yours for some time and I feel privileged to have finally run a raid with you.”

“Thank you, but the honor was all mine.”

“I'm sure we'll meet again. Chosen One, good luck and don't hesitate to call on my family if you need help.”

“I will. Thank you.”

As Reginald left, Givgy shook hands with everyone. “Thank you for taking me on. If you plan on running this again, or any other dungeon, please let me know. I'm available any day at any time...”

“Thank you, Givgy, but I believe we'll be leaving Metraft soon,” Breithart said. “I will let you know if that changes.”

“Any time, and I mean it.”

The group left him standing there before he went to the counter to retrieve his portion of the loot. “What is on the schedule for the rest of the day, m'lord?”

“A lot of things. I'm going to be very busy,” Caertonn said.