Arthur Sakho

I turned off my television and sat up straight on the couch to look at Trevon. "I'm bored," I said.

He didn't reply to me right away so I pulled the science fiction book he was reading out of his hands. It was Saturday. We went to workout that morning, but since then we had just spent a lazy day at my apartment. We finished up the Return of the King so there wasn't anymore Lord of the Rings or Hobbit movies to watch. I wasn't going to watch the old cartoon of the Hobbit no matter how much better he told me it was. I wanted to watch hot guys.

"What do you want to do then?" he asked. "We could go to a movie."

I maneuvered so I sat on his lap. "Or," I said, "we could make our own entertainment." I kissed him. I didn't waste any time sticking my tongue in his hot, wet mouth. His arms came around my waist and squashed me up against his firm stomach and chest. My stomach growled.

He pulled away from the kiss and smirked at me. "Hungry?" he asked.

"We can eat later," I said. I moved back in for another kiss, but he just pulled his head back further with that all too knowing smile.

"Why don't we go out to dinner," he said.

Food did sound important, but so did sex. My stomach rumbled again. "Then let's go get italian food and it can be my one day of the month to eat badly."

"Sounds good," he said. He lifted me off him and set me on my feet.

We took his car to the restaurant. Of course it would be crowded on a Saturday night. We had to wait for a table to free up before we could be seated. We looked at a menu while we waited so when we were seated, we could order right away. The host led us back through the warm, cozy restaurant to a booth. He put the menus on both sides of the table, but I slid in next to Trevon instead of sitting across from him. The host moved the menu so it was in front of me.

Our server came immediately. I ordered the gnocchi. Trevon ordered the ravioli. While we waited for the food, I pulled out my phone and showed him some of the dance with me and Danny that Sam had recorded for us. I wasn't sure if I should be disappointed that he didn't seem jealous when Danny held me or happy that he was supportive of our dance.

"You're fine with this?" I asked.

"Fine with what?"

"Fine with Danny holding me like this." I showed him the clip again with Danny holding me from behind and my head tilted back against his shoulder with my arms extended to the sides right before his arms came to my waist to lift me.

"Yeah," he said. "You look breathtaking like always."

"So you're fine with any guy holding me like this." Okay. The disappointment won. I wanted him to be jealous.

"No," he said. "Not any guy, but you said Danny is straight and this is a dance that you've come up with yourself and have been working hard on. I'm proud of you."

And I melted. I curled my arms around his and put my head on his shoulder.

"I can't dance like that to express how much I love you," Trevon said, "so in my mind, Danny just represents me."

"Sweet stars, skies and bees, I love you."

He kissed the top of my head with my profession. "I love you too," he said.

The server brought our food so I reluctantly pulled my arms away from Trevon's. The food was delicious, but I could only eat half of it. It was heavier than I was used to. That was all right though because Trevon could take the rest home. We got tiramisu for dessert because if I was having a cheat day I was going to get dessert.

"Here's my card." Trevon put a credit card down on the table. "I'm going to the bathroom. You can use this to pay if the server brings our check while I'm gone. I'll be right back."

I slid out of the booth so he could get out. I watched him as he got up and headed towards the front of the restaurant where the restrooms were. The server brought the check and I gave him Trevon's credit card. I turned my eyes to where the restrooms were hoping Trevon would come out soon. I wouldn't be able to forge his signature for the card payment.

My heart froze and my lungs felt as if they had just iced over when he walked in. Jackson with his young, beautiful wife, three year old daughter and their six month old son. I sat there unable to move, unable to look away as they were led to a table near ours. As he helped the little girl sit in a booster seat, his eyes met mine. He paused as his facial expression changed from lovingly doting on his little girl to shock. His wife's eyes started to turn my way and I quickly looked away.

I got up and made my way through the tables, chairs and people - dodging servers and plates. I opened the double doors and stepped outside. I took in a deep breath of the night air. Smells of food, people, asphalt and exhaust from cars all mingled together. It was better than being inside. Someone grabbed my upper arm. It was a familiar hand, a familiar grasp and I knew instantly it wasn't Trevon.

I pulled away and turned to face Jackson.

"Arty," he said.

And my heart wrung and twisted and as much as I put this man behind me, the pain resurfaced fresh and gut wrenching.

"No," I said.

"Just listen to me," he pleaded.

I knew it was a mistake. I had no intention of staying to listen to him, but my legs wouldn't move.

"How have you been?" he asked.

Now anger mixed with the pain and tumbled inside me and I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. "Really, Jacks...on?" I almost called him by what I used to call him. I wasn't going to do that.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "But it's not any of your business."

"I just...I still care about you," he said.

"No you don't," I said. "And even if you do, it doesn't matter because I don't care about you. Go back inside to your family."

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my upper arm again. Before I could wrench myself free from his grasp, his hand was forced away and my tall, dark and handsome was standing in between us.

"Who are you?" Trevon asked him.

"Jackson. Who are you?"

Trevon turned to look at me, but his eyes weren't accusing as some of my past boyfriends' would be. He only looked at me with concern. I swallowed hard and clung onto the back of his shirt. I buried my head into the back of his neck. I didn't look up, but I felt Trevon's movements as he turned to face Jackson once again.

"You don't have any business here," Trevon said. "Go back inside."

"I just want to talk to him," Jackson said.

"There is nothing you can say to him," Trevon said. "I don't know what you are doing here or where you came from, but go away."

"His family is inside," I said quietly without looking.

Trevon's body tensed. I could feel his back muscles tighten underneath his shirt. "You're a real asshole," Trevon said. "Stay away from Arthur."

Trevon turned, wrapped an arm around my shoulder and guided me away from Jackson. My fingers shook now that I wasn't clinging to Trevon's shirt. When we got to his car, Trevon opened the passenger side door and helped me in. When he sat in the driver's seat, I grabbed his arm before he could start his car.

"Your credit card," I said.

Trevon sighed. "I'll be right back," he said. "Stay here."

He left me alone in his car. I loved Trevon. I really, truly did. But the old pain from Jackson came back as fresh as the first day I saw him in that store with his family. My face grew hot and a burning tear spilled from my eye onto my cheek. I closed my eyes. I needed to stop crying because I didn't want Trevon to misunderstand. The pit of my stomach hurt as if it was on fire. My heart tore as fast as thoughts of Trevon's love mended it. More tears spilled from my closed eyes.

The car door opened and it startled me. I quickly wiped away the tears from my cheeks as Trevon got into the car. He reached over and squeezed my hand. "I'll take you home," he said gently.

"No," I said. "I don't want to go home." I would only think of all the times Jackson came to my apartment if we went there. Why hadn't I ever thought it strange that he never wanted to go to his house?

"My apartment then?" Trevon asked.

I nodded. He gave my hand another squeeze before he let go and started the car. When we got to his apartment, I pulled him directly into the bedroom and pulled him onto the bed next to me. He looked at me gently as we sprawled out on the bed. His large hand caressed my cheek. His thumb gently rubbed over my skin.

More burning tears spilled from my eyes as I stared into the depth of his. His thumb wiped them away. I scooted closer to him and buried my head in his chest. My hands clasped his shirt desperately as if I were falling and that was the only thing keeping me safe.

His arms wrapped tightly around me. His hand lovingly rubbed my back. He kissed the top of my head as my tears wet his shirt. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to cry in front of the man I loved because of a man who had caused me pain in the past, but I couldn't help it.

Trevon didn't say anything as I cried. He just held me. It took me awhile to calm down, but my sobs did slowly stop. When they did, I pulled back slightly just so I could look into his face.

"I don't want you to think that me crying over him means I don't love you. I love you."

"I know," Trevon said.

"I'm sorry I'm still crying over him."

Trevon sighed. "You can take as long as you need," he said. "You're with me now. I plan on being with you and loving you for as long as you'll let me."

"I'll let you forever," I said. And I loved him even more.