As the two years after her run away from being a maid, came to a close, Kaira finally understood a bit more of the phrase that played continuously inside her mind. Having read upon so much books, she had figured out some of what it actually meant!

‘The living possesses the ability to change…Flaws could be truth, absence could develop…Yet, truth could be flaws and one can develop an absence.’

‘The living’, meaning force, ‘possesses the ability to change’, meaning force is used with something else, to do something else, a change. ‘Flaws could be truth’, is a random saying for the opposite of a pure priest, that had come from another country, and a pure priest. Kaira hadn’t read much into other priest’s names, but she had heard of what could be done. The opposite of pure, was fake, some kind of power that makes things fake and counterfeits the trust. It’s said in an old book, that power was originally in the country of Sondane. So ‘Flaws could be truth’ is just stating the powers, fake could be pure.

Then, ‘absence could develop’, is bringing up the other two countries powers! So, instead of ‘absence could develop’, it’s ‘extinct’ could ‘become’, as in, what was gone, or dead, could grow and become something!

‘Yet, truth could be flaws and one can develop an absence’ had always bugged her, when she tried to figure it out. And that was probably the reason why she was able to think of the powers…Because she had come to realize it could mean more than just a saying.

So, the phrase is saying force is able to be used with fake, pure, growth and death. Meaning, she only knows how to do one of these, the pure…And that…Could she possibly learn the other three as well?

But…

Then Kaira was caught into another problem, as she tried to figure it out, to not only see if she could learn these other powers, but why…That person…Wanted her to figure this out…Was there perhaps another message within this phrase?

***

The Princess was supposed to get married soon, but the fiancée had disappeared. Over a year had passed and not the King, or the Princess, had heard from Sebastian at all. He had not visited the Prince, who missed him, and he was not seen by anyone else either!

Sebastian had no idea on what to do, and one day found himself at their old home. Davina and his, theirs…

It was wrecked now, hardly remnants that someone had lived there at all…Making precious moments for years...

Going through the memories he had while he had been here, Sebastian just got more and more certain that his beloved had perished.

Hardly thinking of the Princess, Sebastian could only think of the normal circle and knew he had to wait. There was still quite a number of years before she would come back, and he didn’t know what to do.

All the other times, she had died at an older age, this time…

Staying at their home for quite some time, Sebastian had waited. His stubble had grown now to a beard and his clothes were getting dirty, but none of this worried him. He only repaired one part of the house, staying there sometimes, then staying outside other times…

Every now and again, he would cleanse himself and be filled with a different kind of loss.

He had not only betrayed her, but not protected her…

His heart was in tatters, but he couldn’t help but want her in his life again.

Even if she hated him, even if she ran away…

Just…How did it go so wrong!?

After some time, he had remembered her stay at Lord Wiltsing’s estate and went there to refresh those memories, to drive them into himself so deep, that he would never, ever forget them. Maybe he could even figure out why he had felt like she then was like his beloved and why later on she felt like she wasn’t. What had she said? That if she changed…

But…

He would not have thought that it was the best decision that he had made in such a very long time!

Upon standing on the ground in the darkness, near where she had slept that time. He had finally seen her again!

At first, he thought that another person was staying in that room, and it didn’t matter to him. But then there she was, reading while walking and playing with a sword. And since he paid more attention, he saw the chimes as well…There was just no way it wasn’t his Davina!

Sebastian thought he was going back in time, seeing her as an older person. She played with her sword, even when she wasn’t training or fighting and would read sometimes at the same time. A few times, she had even hurt herself or someone else unknowingly, luckily though, she hadn’t killed anyone…As the memories came to Sebastian’s mind, he was starting to believe that he wasn’t dreaming, that his beloved was still alive! She was there, right in front of him!

Unconsciously, he had stepped forward, wanting to see more!

Kaira twisted the sword and pouted, the book in her hands was not going her way at all. The main character had forgotten that there was two ways to go and travel, and he was still so determined to travel on the first path. Kiara wanted to know about the other path! What would have happened!? But, this was only the second book of four, she would have to read to find out…But…She wanted to know now…

Throwing the book on the couch in the room, she sighed.

Putting the sword in its scabbard and onto a stand, she removed her outer clothing and then went to get into bed. But her hand was taken, and she was suddenly put into an embrace, “Davina…”

Shock filled her every pore, at hearing that voice and name…A few glimpses and flashes of pasts came into mind, just on one thing…This man calling her ‘Davina’…

Stiffening, at knowing who it was, Kaira tried to move away but he held her a little tighter, “Just a little longer…Please.”

Sighing, Kaira let him hug her. His voice had stuttered and was hoarse. It made her feel like she needed to give him something…But why?

Deciding on staying quiet, she waited, but he never moved, unless it was his hand going to her face, or his head kissing her forehead. It was like she had lost all her power…She didn’t want to push him away, even though she was somewhat still angry with him.

She felt special upon his brotherly kiss to her forehead, even though she had forgotten him previously. A few more memories came to her, ones of them together and fighting. In the past when they had a problem, she wouldn’t leave him, but she wouldn’t speak to him…But…It’s different now.

She had just started to feel normal, just started to sleep and eat like a normal person. She wasn’t even afraid of maids anymore, she was also remembering her pride and confidence.

“Why are you here?” She finally asked.

She felt him stiffen and let her go. She watched him walk back away from her and then bow his head in defeat.

Seeing him like this, made her narrow her eyes. Why would she care if he’s like this!?

Yet, she still cared…

“It might not count for anything, but I’m sorry.” He said, wiping a tear away. “I can’t believe your alive! It’s really you!”

Kaira tried not to notice his pain, “Are you sure?”

He let out a watery laugh and nodded, “Yes!”

Turning away from him, she then asked, “Didn’t you love the Princess?”

She remembered feeling like she had nothing to offer him…That she had let him go…

Shaking his head, he wanted to reach out to her but decided he shouldn’t dare to yet, “I thought she was you! I…I have no excuse…”

Breathing out and closing her eyes, Kaira remembered most of her past now…But she now had flashes of another life…Or two…Having not paid much attention to them at first, she realized that she had lived once before, and the man in the room…Was her beloved…

Yet…

It was a past she wasn’t feeling right now, and she hardly knew how to start feeling it…

“I did meet you here, and I thought you really liked her, which gave me more reason to run away.” Kaira turned to him then, “I was also the maid…But the time you healed the Princess, you healed me. The time with the dog fence, I assume that was you who helped, that was also me…I guess I can understand you getting confused.”

Sebastian seriously thought about what she said, and his eyes started to glow. A small smile started to show, “Then I was always right! I thought you were both the Princess and the maid.”

Looking at her, there were no reservations at all. Her auburn hair was now back, and her face was as he remembered it as she had been the child. Her words were even the same, questioning him all the time, yet, she questioned him because of reasons. Most of the time she was curious, sometimes she didn’t understand, but this time…This time she was insecure…

He desperately wanted to show that his heart only had her, but how was he to do that?

Kaira sighed and said, “I had not many memories then and even if I had, at that time I was nothing and could do nothing. I wasn’t playing with you.”

Sebastian nodded, “There isn’t any need for you to defend yourself, you’ve done nothing wrong…”

“However…I do remember now.” Kaira stared at him, stopping him.

What does she mean by that?

Sebastian wanted to speak, but had no words, she…

“I don’t blame you anymore.”

Sebastian felt like the floor under his feet was becoming unstable. Her words felt like there was nothing there, that she had nothing else to say.

Unable to look at her now, he clenched his hands and found himself starting to breath heavily.

Kaira felt pain run through her…To a certain degree she had to say these words. She truly didn’t blame him for not protecting her back then when she was just a small child. It wasn’t his fault someone had come at the very time he was away for a short period of time. It…Was just bad luck…It wasn’t his fault, so she wanted him to know she didn’t blame him for that. But…She hadn’t meant to say it like she had. As it was, she was still trying to show emotions, it was becoming easier, but seeing him now, for the first time in years, she…The way it had come out was like she had strangely become Dupli again for a short time…Defending herself…

She wondered if she was still scared…Still holding up walls, so that she won’t rely on people and get hurt once again…She only thought of this because the feelings she felt...Were familiar...

Sebastian looked extremely defeated, that even walking away would require so much effort, that he couldn’t do just yet.

Losing her confidence on her own freedom and continuing on the way she had been, she took a step towards him.

When he saw that, he nodded his head and took a step away from her, towards the window. “Then, I’m glad.”

Seeing him not look at her anymore, she felt more pain and felt like she might be doing the wrong thing, “Se…”

“It’s fine.”

Before she could say another word, he left. Disappearing into the night. He wasn’t leaving for good, never would he leave her for good!

But…It was obvious that she wasn’t ready to be with him again yet…

Sebastian felt like this lifetime…He had taken ten steps back, that he will just have to…Wait…

For a minute, Kaira stood there, finding that she was upset.

Feeling her vision start to blur, she quickly blew out the candle and got into the bed. Covering herself and going into a ball, and she finally cried.

It became too late to take back words, or to change one’s last actions.

Kaira regretted being so cold to Sebastian, and Sebastian had already wanted to go back to her, and because of that he left the country.

She was really mad and angry at him. He knew it.

He had left their little house, when she was young, to keep the war away from them and she had disappeared in that small amount of time. He had said he’d protect her, but he hadn’t. He said that he’d only ever love her, yet he had gotten engaged with the Princess…To someone that wasn’t her!

Yet, Kaira, now seeing him once again, missed him straight away and Sebastian walked further, unable to stop wanting to go back.

This night time visit took its course on Kaira afterwards. She didn’t mean to go quiet and become even more distant, but she hadn’t been able to help it. The more that man stayed away…The more she suddenly wanted him to return!

Due to this strange situation, time had gone by and Kaira was now fifteen…

Nathan had often tried hard to stay easy going with the little girl, not getting too serious. A little intimacy here and there…

Not only had he been worried that she would get depressed again, but he was sure she hadn’t been ready to speak of marriage…And, there was that small niggling feeling of knowing, knowing that she didn’t feel for him that way.

Now, that she was fifteen, he wanted to take the chance to add a few changes every now again, to become more serious. He was going to start treating her like a lady that he admired. One he wanted to marry…

Small steps…

***

Nathan’s first step, was a ball that was being held in a few months…Yes, he knew he was very eager, but he wanted something that wasn’t pressuring and that would give him enough reason to be closer to her.

He gave her an invitation and then asked her if she knew how to dance.

Her reply was something he thought would come, “No, I’m not interested.”

“Ah, my girl, you have to at least be my dancing partner! And there’s great food!” Please, please say yes!

Kaira only danced when she felt really good, but she had no idea how, she just did whatever dance came to her mind and she was always alone at those times so she never knew if she was good at it or not. Normally, she pictures something she wants to dance like…

Food?

Feeling herself getting pulled in because of the interest, Nathan could see it and he celebrated quietly in his heart.

So, in the next month, the basics of dancing was learnt to not just Kaira, but Nathan as well. At first, he hated looking like such an amateur, but having Kaira laugh at him and staying happy to train with him, he welcomed it now.

But, he wasn’t the only one having troubles, as she did too!

He couldn’t remember the steps, and Kaira wanted to lead.

Many times, they would end up laughing or fighting and the instructor would have to get them back on track once again.

As the ball came closer, Nathan could finally get her a dress, using the date approaching as his reasoning.

All Kaira could do, was comply and accept…But, she never thought that she would love it!

She was so used to Martial Arts and inner force, that she forgot to be a lady!

With bad memories of her being the Princess, it didn’t help her want to use make up and put on beautiful clothes, it all seemed like a history that she didn’t want to repeat, but now!

She looked at herself in the copper mirror and her eyes sparkled to how beautiful she had suddenly become.

She had just used normal clothes, even that of man’s clothes, before now, because it was more comfortable, but, this dress…Magnificent!

Kaira was absolutely excited, after obtaining such a beautiful dress and shoes, that she could no longer wait for the ball!

The remainder lessons of dancing were no problem now, and Sandra helped teach Kaira on how to apply makeup to her face.

But, one week before the ball, a shock came over the entire household.

Kaira ran around blindly, saying words that didn’t make sense to those who heard it.

‘What is it!?’, ‘I don’t understand!’, ‘I don’t want to do that again!’, ‘It’s still happening!’

“Kaira!” Nathan yelled, stepping into her path and stopping her from running away yet again. “What’s wrong!”

“I’m bleeding!”

She sort of understood but didn’t, her past memories had flashes of this, and she had never been told about it in this life. So, Kaira was so confused and didn’t know what to do!

“Am I going to die!?” Kaira asked, grief written on her face.

Nathan frowned, “Where are you bleeding?”

Kaira covered her lower self and Sandra ran up to her, “My dear, come, I’ll tell you what is going on.”

“Mother?” Nathan asked, still worried. He didn’t like the idea that his girl was bleeding!

Sandra winked at Nathan, confusing him, while she walked with Kaira back to her room, “It is entirely woman’s business, now don’t come and disturb us!”

So, Sandra had to tell Kaira why she was bleeding, and what to do when she was.

It was not just Nathan that had totally warmed up to Kaira as being a part of the family soon, Sandra also had liked the idea of having Kaira as her daughter in law and happily helped her with this problem, like a real mother…

***

The night before the ball, Kaira couldn’t sleep much, she was too excited!

A ball! A ball!

She’d never been to a ball before!

She knew how to do makeup now, she longed to put on her beautiful dress, ah a ball!

Even her dancing partner was handsome, having peeked at his dress clothes once discreetly.

She rolled from her side, to her other side, then onto her back, then onto her stomach, but sleep was not coming!

A ball!

Upon the early hours of the morning, she finally fell asleep and was woken up, a few hours later, for breakfast.

Running down to the table, she looked tired but acted totally awake…The people gave out a chuckle and Sandra went on about the bags under her eyes.

“I didn’t sleep because I was too excited!” Kaira then jumped and clapped, “I’m going to a ball!”

More chuckles escaped people’s lips and Kaira sat down with a thump and ate her breakfast heartedly.

After breakfast, she did some Martial Arts and after lunch she ran to her room and started getting ready…For the ball!

Sandra followed her up the stairs, shaking her head, but having a lovely smile on her face. Nathan watched with eyes full of indulgence and smiled in satisfaction.

He had already a great picture on his future, a picture of his happy bride and happy family.

They wouldn’t always live here with their parents, moving out with their own family and into their own house. But, they’d come back at least once a week, so Sandra would see her daughter in law and that his sister can spend time with her sister in law…It really looked like a perfect future in Nathan’s eyes…

His eyes still didn’t see another pair of sad eyes watching him though…

***

When they finally arrived at the ball, Kaira didn’t even wait for Nathan to help her out of the carriage, she nearly ran down the steps and came out in front of him in a simple, swift motion, making him slightly shaken.

“Let’s go!” She said, grabbing his hand and walking to the front of the building that the ball was being held in.

They supplied their invitations and Kaira took Nathan straight to the dance floor, putting herself into his arms.

Nathan was besotted, gladly doing whatever she wanted, loving the deep, happy smile on her face.

The night was grand, even though they didn’t spend much time talking to other people. Kaira just seemed happy to eat and dance, dance and then eat. But Nathan didn’t mind, he tagged along…

Once or twice people stopped him, and he had talked to them for a quick moment, before she dragged him away again. He could only smile and apologize, and happily take his girl into his arms.

There were quite a few looks from quite a few different people at the nearly aged fifteen-year-old, beautiful girl and Nathan noticed it. At least two men had come to her and asked for a dance, at first, she accepted like it was nothing and Nathan stepped in saying that she was already spoken for.

The men looked at him and could only accept that the lady was already taken, already engaged and to be married…

But, Kaira had no idea what that meant at all, as she just continued to dance with only him, making the best of her pretty dress and newly learnt dancing talent she now had!

But then…There was one man that came, that totally turned Kaira somewhat mute!

“Sebastian…”

When Nathan heard his name through her own mouth, he felt like he was already losing a war that he never knew he was in…

Sebastian held out his hand, having only said to have one dance with her and he watched how she stared at him and put her hand in his.

He smiled gently at her and pulled her into his embrace. Then he danced away from the man that had been claiming her all night.

He hadn’t thought to show up here, until just an hour ago…

Having come back just two days ago, just to see how she was, not even going to attempt to show himself in front of her. He had seen this tonight, her with another man, so intimately!

It was just not on!

Holding her, felt like he’d gained the world once again, the colours were shining, and the light had returned!

He didn’t trust any more words leaving his mouth, he knew he wanted to beg for her forgiveness, beg for her to stay away from other men, beg for her to be by his side, or he by her side. So, he kept quiet, holding her tight, not ever wanting to let her go again.

He really did hope that she had started to forgive him at least. Perhaps then, he would be able to stick around, watch her from a distance?

“I sort of worked out your phrase.”

Kaira had taken a moment to snap out of her thoughts...Not only was his presence something she automatically liked and felt happy about, but...He was so handsome!

He looked very special tonight, all dressed up like the other men at the ball. His hair had grown, but was pulled back into a loss pony tail, he had shaven his face and smelt completely fresh...Compared to the last time...

He was simply...Well, she for some reason just felt better, when seeing him. Full...

Sebastian smiled and slowly nodded, really happy that she had spoken to him, “Mmm, I made it up for you.”

“It’s about the powers.”

So determined!

“Mmm, and what else?” Sebastian ask, staring at her intently.

“What else?” She asked, looking innocently at him.

Unknowingly, they stopped dancing and Sebastian put a hand to her face, “The living possesses the ability to change…Flaws could be truth, absence could develop…Yet, truth could be flaws and one can develop an absence.”

Kaira felt like history had come to the present, suddenly, everything hadn’t mattered. Her being taken by water, losing her memories, becoming a maid, abandoned, bullied, near death, running away, having to find herself again…

For a long time, they stared at each other, while Sebastian used his thumb to touch her cheek. He seemed to know what she was thinking, she was remembering a few things, she was remembering them, their lives together, how perfect they were together. She was remembering what the phrase meant, why the phrase was important…

Before Sebastian could finish waiting for her, so that they could continue, Nathan put his hand around Kaira and pulled her away from him.

“How is it that you know Kaira?” Nathan asked. He didn’t want to start a fight, but his words were harsh and full of jealousy. Why…Why had she stared at him like that!?

Sebastian sadly smiled at Nathan, put didn’t move, looking back at Kaira.

Kaira looked from behind Nathan, back at Sebastian, and Nathan got more annoyed. Who the hell was this man!?

“Kaira, who is he?” Nathan said, trying not to sound angry.

“My other half.” Kaira stated, not knowing that her words just broke Nathan’s heart…

Nathan hissed out a breath, then put a hand to his face.

Taking a deep breath in, then letting it out, he removed his hand and said, “I’ll be in the carriage waiting for you, so that we can go home.”

Without looking at either Sebastian or Kaira, Nathan left, feeling himself being torn apart with every step he took further away that she did not take to follow him…

She was staying with another man, whom she calls her other half and leaving me, who has been at her side for months and months…For him!

Nathan sat heavily on the carriage and put his head in his hands…He was sure, that he had never met that man, never seen him in his entire life!

How was it that Kaira knew him and even called him her ‘other half’?

He never had wanted to see it, never wanted to let himself think about it…The way that Kaira obviously thought of him...But…It looked like he may have to start, especially if she was to continue to see that man, especially if this carriage stays empty for one more minute…

...One minute passed, yet, Nathan refused to believe he had no chance…Ten minutes…

Ten minutes went by and Nathan clenched his hands into fists.

Finally, her lack of responses, her half hearted asked intimacy and the fact that she had never initiated anything once…Stood out more…Nathan sighed.

He really had wanted a future, a beautiful future with that wonderful girl. How had it turned out like this?

After three hours of waiting, and having calmed himself down, from getting extremely angry, and then extremely upset, Nathan realized the ball had finished two hours ago, and there was no one left here.

He woke up the person in front and told him that it’s time to go...