🐯-Samuel

What was better than having a birthday party? Having a second, even better birthday party right at your friend’s house! I climbed onto the stone bench beside the BBQ pit, raw beef in my chopsticks. I gulped it all down and clanged the chopsticks against the plastic plate.

Nora, Alb, and Nori ended their conversations midway. Haresh walked around, asking all of our guests to pay attention to me. I pointed at myself with my thumb and gave that trademark grin at the crowd.

“So, thanks for coming to my private birthday party. Usually, Simon and I, we’ll do it at East Coast Park, but Alb has generously loaned us his condo’s BBQ pit and hall! So, three cheers for Alb!” I cried. “Ah, wait. Before cheering, must look at the time. Don’t want to kena tangkap by the police.”

I asked gor-gor for the time. 7.43pm. Okay. With that, I gestured for everyone to cheer for Alb. His usually pale face turned red, but maybe it was just the trick of the pavilion lights. He gave a shy wave and bowed.

The applause subsided when three new people stepped into the scene. Wow! For once, I wasn’t the late one! Kumar waved, his height making him stand out. Haresh went towards him, exchanging their usual secret handshake. Dae-hyun, Kumar, and Éclair decided to turn up – all wearing Hawaiian shirts. Nora snorted beside Nori at the admittedly ridiculous sight. Then, when she saw Éclair, her face sank.

“Sam, why did you invite her?” she whispered, Sprite spraying out from her thick lips.

“Chill, Nora. She won’t hurt you. Not when Nori’s around,” I assured her.

And just like that, she stormed out of the pavilion, headed to goodness knows where. I shrugged. Let Éclair try to prove herself to Nora later. Where was Mei, if you were wondering? By the pool with Yu-chi, already swimming laps with him. Kenny and Luqman decided to just stay at home. Come to think about it, I was pretty convinced that Mei decided to turn up just for the free food. Eh.

“So, Dae-hyun, did you bring your mom’s fried chicken, as promised?” I asked, leaning in closer towards him.

“Oh. You bet!” he said, showing off his insulated bag.

I clapped my hands and ushered him towards the BBQ area. Then, my face fell when I saw that somebody had taken a quarter of the chicken wings. Never mind. More chicken is always good news.

Before I could even fist-bump Kumar, Alb grabbed me by the forearm, dragging me to a much quieter part of his condominium. Well, I couldn’t exactly call it quiet when the traffic from the ECP was still roaring beside us, but okay.

“Sam, the strangest thing happened to me yesterday,” he said to me in Cantonese, probably to be sure that nobody could understand what we were saying in case they heard us.

“Spill.”

He sucked in a deep breath and attempted to compose himself.

“Remember the day of the attack? You and I both felt like there was another presence in the room? I think I’ve managed to identify the man. Here, I drew him out,” he said as he took out a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

So, I wasn’t crazy after all! But how did Alb know how he looked like? He unfolded it, revealing a middle-aged Chinese man clad in a business suit. His black hair was slicked back, and he had steely eyes. Man, no wonder why Alb was in the AEP back in VS. That was a legit good drawing.

“Where did you see him? How do you know this is the guy?” I asked.

He just stared at me with big eyes. Ah, at least he no longer looked like a panda since the eyebags disappeared for a bit.

“I think I did an astral projection,” he whispered. “Into his house.”

Well, after all the weird shit that happened this year, astral projection was nothing in comparison. But he still looked shell-shocked. He shook his head and told me that things got worse.

“He’s holding people captive. The problem is, I have no idea where this house is. I just know that he’s holding these people in cylinders in an induced coma. That he carries around a syringe everywhere and worst of all, he’s eyeing Nori for something.”

Welp. Guess we are officially fucked. The two of us faced each other and agreed to split up to find Nori.

⚡️-Eclair

As Dae-hyun and Kumar chatted over fried chicken and a free-flow supply of satay, I snuck out of their little conversation group and headed towards the swimming pool to cool my feet down.

When I arrived there though, Nora was sitting at the edge while Yu-chi and Mei swam laps. I never knew that she was hiding a somewhat impressive set of muscles under that petite frame. I sighed, wondering if approaching Nora was the right thing or not.

She did retreat because of me. She kicked her feet back and forth as she looked up at the night sky. Seeing her on her own was so surreal. Back in school, she would always surround herself with her friends. Or she would be with Nori, Sam, and Albert.

I took off my skirt and shirt, dressing myself down to my bikini as I sat beside her.

“If you’re here to kill me, go ahead. Go and drown me. Or heck, electrocute me,” she said, her voice emotionless.

Mei broke out of the surface and flailed her arms about the moment she saw me. Yu-chi on the other hand looked at me with his gentle round eyes. They exchanged words to each other in Hokkien, but somehow, I was able to make out what they were saying from the way Yu-chi held Mei’s shoulders.

“Remember. Trying to understand is a good first step,” he whispered to her.

She grumbled and swam freestyle towards the two of us. Only then did I realise that under the starlight, she was actually glowing with a faint lilac light. It must be the effect of her Anima Magi. She propped herself up, sitting beside Nora and hugging her tight.

“Say what you want to say, but if you hurt Nora, I won’t hesitate to attack you,” said Mei.

I couldn’t really take her seriously when she kept squinting at me. She was without her spectacles after all.

I dipped my feet into the water, watching the way the pool lights lit everything in an ethereal glow.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to forgive me. I know I’ve hurt you deeply,” I said.

Nora slammed her palms against the pool tiles and glared at me, her face already streaked with tears.

“Hurt me deeply is an understatement. Do you know how hard I tried to pretend that everything was okay? How I had to lie to the people around me that I had hives when I was hiding the scars you left me? Did you ever think about that?” she yelled.

Mei held her back, whispering to her something in Malay. Mucus was already dripping from her nose as her round eyes turned bloodshot. She turned away from me, fishing her legs out of the chlorinated water. She wrapped her arms around her thick, muscular legs.

She was right. I had reduced her to this. Despite her muscular frame and body that hinted at years of conditioning, seeing her shrivel up to becoming a fragile, wilting flower in front of me sent the weight of the world pushing hard against my narrow frame. And I had seen it for myself.

“I know why you did what you did. But that cannot excuse the fact that you forced me into pretending so that I could protect the others. It won’t change the fact that you made me fear for my life, not once, but twice,” said Nora, her voice becoming clearer again. “You could have chosen to do the right thing, but you didn’t.”

I sniffled as those words pierced me all over. Mei nodded her head, as though she wanted to tell me the same thing. I guess she had run out of words to say to me.

“Do you know why I’m especially mad at you? Because I know you’re hurt. Yet, you chose to hurt those around you. I cannot forgive myself for acting like everything’s okay in front of my family. For putting on a front just so I could become secretary and neglecting myself while I’m at it. And I hate that I’m angry at you because I know you need help more than I do,” she confessed.

The pool turned still. Yu-chi had stopped swimming. He swam towards us, propping his thick fingers on the pool’s edge. And he gave Nora a proud smile.

But Nora was right. I messed everything up. Dae-hyun was right. The choice was right there, and I had refused to grab it.

“If you do need to talk to somebody about your trauma though, I’m here. I’ve been sexually harassed before. Not to your level, but I’ve been through it,” said Nora.

Mei gasped. She stared at Yu-chi, her eyes wide instead of squinted. How many people had she talked to about this?

“Nobody should have to go through what you went through. Likewise, nobody should have to pretend that everything’s okay like I did for the past few months. I’m glad you were able to come clean to your friends though.”

She sounded almost apologetic. She stopped hugging her knees and extended her legs as she did flutter-kicks over the water’s surface. Mei let go of Nora and stared at me. Her eyes were still glassy with raw anger. And I knew why she was angry.

Mei stood up and draped her towel over her shoulders, not bothering to say a word to me. Yu-chi followed after her, not bothering about how he was dripping with chlorinated water all over.

Nora just pressed her palms against the pool tiles and launched herself straight into the pool.

“We all need time to recover from the hurt you’ve caused us. We hope we’ll be able to forgive you one day,” she said.

🎼-Dae-hyun

Sam let out a huge burp after finishing that chicken wing to the bone. Kumar, Haresh and I burst into laughter. Simon ended up rolling his eyes, wagging his finger at his younger brother.

“You sure you got enough room for cake or not after this?” he asked, nudging Sam by the sides.

“I had cake this afternoon. Maybe you can give it to Nori since he pretty much ate 1/3rds of all the food here,” said Sam as he pointed at Nori with his thumb.

There he was, munching on more satay sticks. His plate was literally lopsided, leaning towards the right.

“If you’re looking for Nora, she’s taking a swim,” said Éclair as she walked past Nori.

Her soprano voice was grey. She didn’t even bother to make eye contact with him. Nori put his plate down and headed straight towards where the pool was. Kumar and I exchanged anxious glances at each other.

She sat down on the wooden bench, still clad in her bikini. Man, this was so not a good sight for a birthday party. Simon instinctively rushed in front of the three of us, shielding the other partygoers from this sight as he manned the BBQ pits too.

“How did it go?” asked Kumar.

“Nora seemed really vague. She said she understood me, but cannot forgive me just yet,” Éclair replied.

“Well, I mean. You did nearly kill her twice.”

Kumar glared at me after I said that. I mean, facts were facts after all. I couldn’t fault Nora for being reluctant to make amends with her.

“And Mei? She never said anything to me at all. I thought Nora would be angrier but-,” I had to cut Éclair off right there.

“Hey, Éclair. Look. You can’t anyhow tell people what to feel. Maybe what you did to Dwarf hit her in a super personal spot compared to the impact you made on Nora. If they don’t want to forgive you, then they’re the fools lor,” I said.

Between the gaps of Simon’s arms and hips, we could see the party still going on. Sam walked off with Haresh as they interacted with their secondary school classmates. Éclair was still silent. Okay, maybe I was too harsh on her after all.

“You know what? No need to dwell on the past. Éclair, take my hand. We’re going to dance,” said Kumar as he rose up.

He took Éclair by the hand and asked Simon to move aside. Well, the song in the background was a soft, indie track from Alb’s playlist. Danceable enough, I guess. I watched as they moved towards the centre of the pavilion, his hand in hers while her right hand landed on his hip. I had to contain my laughter seeing that gigantic height difference.

As they swayed to the music, Sam sat down beside me, a can of cola in his hand. He dunked it down and just stared at Kumar’s waltzing form.

“You jealous, ah?” he teased.

Me? Jealous? The only person I could be jealous of was Claudine. I mean, her guitar solos always sent Mr Wang into a standing ovation during practicals.

“Nah. It’s just that…hanging out with Éclair just makes me wonder if that’s why I didn’t have many friends before coming to SJC. Because I’m a jerk? I’m too direct? Can’t read the room? But I mean, what needs to be said has to be said, right?” I said, tapping my feet to the melody swirling around us.

Sam placed his rough hand on my shoulder and offered me his can of coke. I thanked him and gulped some down.

“Still more of a pepsi person,” I said as I returned the can back to him.

“Well, Mei would love to have a debate with you on that,” he teased. “But back to topic. It’s not you. It’s just…sometimes, people don’t like hearing the truth. They stay away from us because well. Aiyah, it’s hard to say. But I know where you’re coming from.”

I leant back as his words resonated within my headspace. It was good to at least have somebody who could see my point of view.

“So, is it our destiny to hurt others?” I asked.

“Destiny? Fuck destiny, lah. It’s up to them to decide what to do with the hurt. Learn from it? Live with it? Let it consume them? I hope Éclair will learn,” he said.

Oddly, for the first time in forever, I no longer felt like Lone Wolf Rhee Dae-hyun or Jerk of SJC anymore. I mean, for one, I was actually invited to a birthday party. For two, I no longer felt the need to be on my own.

🌟-Mei Xing

My body glowed with a cooling, silvery light as I sat underneath that starlit sky in just my one-piece swimsuit with a towel draped over me. My hair was still wet, the bangs clinging onto my forehead and hiding that ugly scar over there.

Maybe that chat with Mazu had failed after all. I couldn’t muster the will to show mercy or to forgive. What was I thinking? Why did I choose to turn to the gods again?

“Bee! Are you alright?” asked Yu-chi as he raced towards me, his feet bare.

I stayed quiet and stared at the sky. Light pollution forced the stars into hiding. Didn’t they know they were far more brilliant than anything we had created down here?

Yu-chi sat beside me, joining me in my little stargazing adventure. Why was it that without my glasses, I could still see the stars without the need to squint? Why did Yu-chi still bother to chase after me even though I pretty much threw everything that he told me out of the window.

“Sit le,” I whispered. “I ended up not listening to you. I hope you’re not mad.”

He shook his head. He threw back his arms and rested his head on the back of his hands, drawing out a long exhale.

“Mm shi. Maybe I was the selfish one for enforcing all that forgiveness shit on you. Maybe I wanted you to forgive Éclair because I know too well what it’s like to not be forgiven, and I didn’t want to be reminded of that,” he said.

“I’m so sorry for making you feel even worse.”

“No, no, no. I never said that! Instead, I actually understood you even more after that. It’s okay to take your time, Bee. It’s okay.”

I turned my gaze away from the stars in that instance and looked at him. He gave me a warm smile as he put his arms down.

“Why are you still mad at her though? Even after hearing about what she went through?” he asked.

And I just turned towards the heavens again. Perhaps the prayer to Mazu did work in its own weird way?

“Maybe it’s because I’m frustrated at her. The first time we met, she kind of tried to kill Luqman and I for stealing her kill. We both tried to ask her why, but she chose violence instead. Same for when she attacked Nora. Like, why? Why wouldn’t she just fucking speak up? And I know what she told the rest isn’t the full story.” I said.

I brushed my bangs aside, revealing the scar on my forehead. Yu-chi’s lips were parted when he saw it.

“The last time I tried silencing myself and not explaining the full story, it led to this. I was just so frustrated that every time I saw Éclair, she would always trap herself in this endless cycle of pain.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get the scar?” he asked.

I looked down at my bare feet, watching the way the water droplets slid down my thick calves. There was already a small puddle of water by my feet, reflecting myself for me to see.

“I didn’t know how to tell my Chinese kindergarten teacher that I didn’t know how to speak Mandarin. I thought she would find my reason to be stupid. So, I just kept quiet. And one day, she just threw the textbook straight at me. I don’t know if she meant it, but the spine hit me right there. I remember her calling me a brown dog when my parents took me to the clinic,” I said.

I still remember the way her lips were sucked in. How the stapler was lodged into my forehead for a while. How I had hit my head against the bookshelf and bled from there too. When I opened my eyes again, I found that my palms were covering my eyes.

My body was hunched down. Brown dog. Witch. Weirdo. Smartass. Somehow, all the insults that were flung at me from childhood surged right back at me.

“How…how can someone be so horrible to you?” he asked as he choked back tears.

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s why before meeting all of you, I wanted so badly to leave this place. Start anew. Be away from all the outcasting, the name-calling, the insults. And to see Éclair almost kill Kenny when he was there for me…I couldn’t let her take away the one good thing outside my family. Knowing how badly she hurt Nori emotionally too riled me up even more. He’s like a little brother to me,” I said as I finally looked up.

His kind eyes were on me all this while. I turned to him and apologised for being overly personal.

“No, it’s okay. I understand you a lot better now. I think you’re really brave for sharing all that with me. And now I can understand why you’re having so much trouble forgiving her. It’s okay. Take your time,” he assured me.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him a hug. He gasped, and hugged me back. I guess he had become the fourth person in my list of precious friends now.