《Into Nothing》120 // Accidental Monologue
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"I'm not going to lie to any of you and tell you that this is a good morning. Because its not. My sleep last night was horrible, and I'm right here in front of you four before the sun has even risen. I do not wish to teach nor talk to any of you right now."
Malozar stood in the middle of the group next to a middle-aged human male with only a few grey hairs growing in. His age was quite the outlier, since most people by that time already had prior dedications they needed to fulfill. In fact, he already had a family and ran a successful fishing business up near the Crystal Sea.
To the right of him stood human and halfling male. He stood several heads below Malozar and was the shortest of the group. He was only a year older than Malozar, who was in turn only a year older than Aleister himself. At the very end was the final of the chosen—a young female half-elf.
But she wasn't the typical elf and human crossbreed. According to the notes Luo Yun's background check provided, she was a crossbreed between an elf and a gnome. Aleister didn't give it much thought until now, but it was quite the odd occurrence in Osetia. Elfs, gnomes, and other fey blooded creatures were the primary inhabitants of Mirror Mountain, so they were likely more common in that territory, but those inhabitants of Mirror Mountain usually never travel to other cities. But here she was. The youngest of the batch, being two years younger than him and having hailed, or rather, run away from that region. Running away from their home territory? Now who does that remind me of? She was average in height for her age, standing at about five feet. The elven genes canceled the gnomes' innate shortness by—a lot. However, it did not seem to reduce her baby face syndrome.
Aleister pointed to Malozar. "And I'm not even happy to see you this morning, even though the cake you delivered me a few weeks ago was delicious, just like the rest of you baked goods, and I will definitely be returning. That doesn't change the time."
Malozar didn't even look like he was about to open his mouth to respond, but Aleister didn't even give him the opportunity as he started talking again."
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"But, the reason I don't with to teach any of you is that I have nothing to teach you. I am not a skilled fighter by any reasonable means. In fact, I do not know why any of you are so dedicated to this after my battle against a Weaver, but I can guess. For that, my answer is no. No matter how strong you get, you cannot beat a Weaver without being one yourself, or unless they were already weakened or mortally injured. The simple fact of how Weavers awaken their souls and envelop their entire beings with anima automatically prevents regular mortals from countering them at all."
"I do not know what kind of propaganda or news you may have heard about my fight, but it was not brilliant. It was not a skillful display between two almost evenly matched opponents. It was my defeat the second the deal for the match was signed. In that fight, my opponent didn't even use any of her true strength. In fact, just her casual attacks damaged my insides and rattled my bones. Most of the match was me running around and avoiding attacks, because you cannot take them head on. It was not as glorious as you wish it were. Now, why am I telling you all of this? Like I said, I can guess why you're here. You obviously feel inferior to Weavers. You might have slighted one by accident and they used their position and power to ruin you. They also could have been just tripping on their own power, and you were nothing more than an afterthought but were still harmed, whether it be physical or mental. Or maybe its none of those. Maybe you just revere and adore Weavers and hold them to a higher pedestal. I know I did, and that was wrong of me."
"After my fight, I became a Weaver soon after. But, in my case, I thought I was already close to breaking through, which is why it was scheduled in such a rush. However, I was wrong. It is true I became a Weaver, but not because I was close. No. It was only after that fight did I realize how far away I truly was. The difference between me and becoming the Weaver could only be described as a mountain towering over the heavens, blocking out the sun and moon themselves. Just its presence would destroy your very will. And it was only then when I looked inside myself. Why did I want to become a Weaver?"
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"Initially, I sought to become a Weaver because I wished to take revenge. To regain the power once taken away from me. However, the more I questioned myself, I was wrong. Revenge was not the only reason. I also wanted to prove to those people who sacrificed themselves for my sake they weren't wrong. I could become a Weaver. But that still wasn't it. What I truly wanted was to truly understand. I wanted to learn about the world. I wanted to learn everything that there is on the continent and even the stars. But most importantly, I wanted to learn about myself. Why did I go through everything I did? Why do I take the actions that I have and will take? But that still wasn't it. It no longer became a want. It became a need."
"I needed to understand. I needed to prove to those who died for me, to those who protected me, to those who believed in me, that I wouldn't just let them die in vain. I would live my life to its fullest and see it to its very end. This isn't so I can provide an answer for whenever I take my last breath and arrive in whatever afterlife the gods decide upon to those people. It's for myself. When I wake up each morning and feel like garbage, just like today, I can still say that I'm doing my best. That I carried the burdens of others to make the world better for people like me."
"People who feel like everyone is out to get them and that there is nothing they can do in their life that they're wrong. Even when they're stuck in the prison that is hope, that they can still leave that prison. That's what becoming a Weaver is all about to me. Improving the world for those unable to do anything. That's what I believe the purpose of Weaver's should be, even if at times it feels as if no one is doing anything. Even when the entire world is frozen in a stalemate because if no one is willing to make a move. However, I will. I refuse to take part in these games, I will make that move even if I have to destroy that board in doing so."
"I'm not asking for you to become a Weaver. There's no way for me to promise you such a thing. However, I'm not saying its impossible. Because what I am asking from all of you is to look deep insides yourselves. Ask yourself why you're here. Not just at this dojo. But in this world. What is your purpose? I will give you a few minutes to think about my question. But know this. If you decide to stay here, you are not just dedicating a few hours, or even days. No! My rigorous training will throw you through the ringer for months on end. The training will be torturous. The skin upon your body will shed. The summer heat will extract the sweat from your body to the point it transforms into your very own blood! And that will only be the beginning. The journey is treacherous, but even then it only has the chance to stimulate you enough. However, you must be willing to take that chance, because even if you don't become a Weaver, you will still earn a taste of what is required from you and that, in turn, can be enough of an experience to change you. Because genuine power comes from the inside. You have five minutes to think about this situation, but know this—if you turn your back now, there is no shame. You all have lives to live and will still be welcome at the dojo at any time."
Aleister closed the door and turned around with his hands placed on his hips, a smug smile on his face as he drew another breath before letting his current exhale finish. "That was strangely cathartic."
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