《Into Nothing》19 // Counting Breaths

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“And hand these over to Arie for me,” Captain Cyrne said to a soldier who instantly took off.

“Who is Arie?” Aleister asked as he walked out of the bathroom dressed in brand new black robes provided to him by Master.

“She’s my lieutenant,” he answered.

“Ah, that does seem to make sense.”

“Follow me.” Captain Cyrne waved his hand and led Aleister out of the bathhouse and back into the tower.

“Where are you taking me?” Aleister asked.

“I’m taking you to one of our meditation rooms at the top of the tower,” he answered.

Aleister nodded. “That would also make sense.”

After climbing the watchtower for a few minutes, Captain Cyrne stopped on a floor with only two large wooden doors. He took out a key and opened the door that faced east, letting Aleister enter behind him.

Entering the room, he noticed that pristine white marble panelled the interior, with the only deviation from it being the decadent prayer mat lying flat in the center.

Captain Cyrne turned around and handed Aleister the key to the room before saying, “Good luck!” He left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Aleister all alone.

“Sit,” Syn said as she appeared in front of him from seemingly nowhere once again.

He sat on top of the prayer mat and crossed his legs inwards. “What now?”

“Do you know what it means to be a Weaver?” she asked, arms crossed, looking down at him.

Aleister opened his mouth to answer, but said nothing. The more he tried to think about what it meant, the more he realized he didn’t really understand what being a Weaver meant. He just knew that they could do extraordinary stuff. "Stuff."

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“Obviously,” she said. “A more textbook definition would say Weavers are those who can make the possible impossible. However, that isn’t the definition I’m asking from you. I want to know what do you think it means to be a Weaver. What does it mean to be able to command and control such power? What obligations do you have to serve? And more importantly, what will you do with the power once you obtain it?”

No idea, still no idea, and revenge. Those were the answers he immediately thought up of, but two of those barely qualified as answers, and the last one was a lofty goal that he wouldn’t be able to achieve for a while. Of course, that still meant he would do whatever needed to be done to achieve that goal. Whatever that would need to be would probably end up answering the first two questions. Although, for now, he had no idea what they would be.

“Glad to see that you’re finally putting some thought into it.” She observed the expressions and changes on Aleister’s face for a couple of moments and said, “Luckily for you, I don’t demand these answers from you right away. In fact, I don’t need to know what your answers will be. These are simply some questions for you to keep in mind while you begin your journey. Well, if your journey can even begin in the first place that is.”

“Then I assume we’re starting now?” Aleister asked. “Is my posture ok? Do I need to change the angles of my legs? Are my hands too loose?”

She shook her head. “There isn’t a proper way to do this as the process for each person to meditate is different. For example, this place. Even though its standard, I'm not interested in this hyper clean and pristine environment.”

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He nodded and stretched his arms out, cracked his knuckles, and placed them back down. This time, his palms cupped his knees. He flexed his back out a couple of times but the initial crisscross posture was good enough and the mat he sat on felt like a cloud, so he had no complaints there. “Alright, I’m ready.”

“Now, close your eyes and listen carefully,” she said. “Through your nose, take in two counts of a breath. Sit on that breath of a count of one and then softly exhale in four counts. Sit on that breath for one count and repeat.”

Aleister closed his eyes, recalled the steps, and executed them with exactness, making sure he timed everything. He repeated the process several times before starting to feel bored and restless. However, he pushed those thought to the back of his head and focused on counting his breathing.

He didn’t know how long had passed as he continued to focus on his breath, but Syn’s voice interrupted his chain of thought.

“Glad to see you can maintain focus for at least five minutes,” she said.

With a shake of his head, he opened his eyes and with a worried smile said, “Only five minutes?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” she said, crossing her arms as she now sat several feet in front of him. “Now tell me, how do you feel?”

“The same, I guess?” he said while shrugging his shoulders.

“Do you perhaps, feel more relaxed? More, in tune with the world?” she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders once more and said, “Perhaps?”

Syn sighed before letting out a slight smile. “Close your eyes and continue. This time, try alternating your breathing pattern.”

“Hm? How so?” he asked, not quite understanding what she meant by that.

“Instead of two counts, one count, four counts, and one count, you can try doubling that into four counts, two counts, eight counts, and two counts, or quadrupling it into eight counts, four counts, sixteen counts, and four counts,” she explained. “Alternate between different counts while still focusing on your breathing. It should help keep your focus and attention on your breathing.”

Aleister nodded and closed his eyes, once again concentrating on his breathing. Counting each breath, staying focused as he inhaled and exhaled. Inhaled and exhaled. Inhaled and exhaled. Inhaled and—

His conscious sank as he got lost in his own thoughts, forgetting if he was still counting his breathes. He fell into a sleeplike state, yet that wasn’t quite it, as he still maintained some semblance of thought. The state relaxed him and acted as a separation from the outside world. He ignored the feeling and thoughts that came with it as he once again started to focus on counting his breath, which he now noticed was shallow, and as he exhaled, was unable to once again inhale as suddenly lost all consciousness.

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