It has been a while. Of course, I don't know how long, but it has been a while. Gray hasn't come to visit ever since I told him to leave me alone.

I worry I have pushed him too far away. I worry I may never see him again. I fear something happened.

I have tried reaching out to him, hoping he could hear, but it isn't my ability. I am not telepathic.

I started screaming like I used to. I cried out of agony. I started seeing things and screamed out of fear.

I was hallucinating. I was paranoid. I was delusional. I was going crazy.

The guards yelled at me for being loud. They said that they would kill me if I didn't be quiet. To which I replied,

"You can't kill me because your boss loves me."

They never yelled at me again, But I still screamed his name- he never came.

I screamed for someone- anyone. No one came. I was lost in my own world with three meals a day, four padded walls, one bed, one desk, and one spinny chair.

I was slowly going insane. I was by myself and had nothing to do except write in this journal. I haven't written in a while, which is probably why I am going crazy.

Like I had written awhile ago, I am writing to keep myself sane, but I obviously failed.

I started seeing images of my dead brother. I was crying and screaming, and I couldn't help myself. I tried to peel the skin off my face in grief and distress. I tried to gouge my eyes out so I wouldn't see. I couldn't see him while I was in this situation. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Seeing him while in this room would remind me why I am in here. I am here to protect people from myself.

There was blood. Everywhere, blood everywhere. It was on my hands, on my face. I was bleeding.

I heard doors opening, unlocking. Someone was saying my name, but I couldn't hear them over the pounding in my eardrums. I couldn't control this situation, and I was scared. I have always feared losing control of myself and other things, and I can't handle it.

I was shocked because of what I had done to myself. I had my own blood on my hands. I harmed myself. I locked myself away to protect people from myself, but I should be protecting me from myself as well.

I was going in and out of consciousness, not because I lost too much blood, but because I was overwhelmed.

I was overwhelmed with my own emotions and the questioning people around me. I wanted them to go away. I wanted to deal with my feelings alone.

I wanted Gray. I needed him with me. I needed him so I could cry on his shoulder.

Gray wouldn't suppress my feelings with his own questions. He would listen to me, not talk over me.

So I called out for Gray. I screamed his name over the voices. I called out for him, and he never came.

I screamed until I couldn't anymore. I couldn't breathe. I had a migraine, and I was dizzy. I couldn't see anymore.

Everything was black, and someone was trying to get me to drink water. I pushed it away with all the strength I had left, but eventually, I blacked out.

When I awoke, I was back in my cell. I tried to get up, but I was strapped to the bed. I looked around and noticed the took out my desk and chair.

I started to panic because I was bound. I hated being tied down. It reminded me of a time when I was an experiment. I broke the straps and got up.

Then I heard a noise from behind the door. It sounded like someone cocked a gun. Then I heard a voice coming from somewhere in the room.

"Please remain in your bed. You are on suicide watch because of your breakdown from yesterday," The intercom voice said.

I thought to myself, 'How stupid are they to think I could actually kill myself?'

I flipped off the room and screamed for them to let me out. I wanted out now. I needed Gray, so I threatened to break down the door if they didn't open it willingly.

They made no move to open it, so I busted it down with my mind. Behind the door was a soldier-a higher up soldier. The ones that wear Green instead of Black.

He was armed with a gun but hesitated long enough for me to aim the gun away from my direction. I walked around him in an attempt to find my way to Gray.

Every door I found that was locked, I broke down. Every Guard that I walked into, I disarmed. I was on a mission to find my love and to save myself from insanity.

They would never truly understand my need because they don't have access to my thoughts. They don't understand my feelings.

They never will, and the only way to save me from insanity is to find Gray.

I never thought I would depend on a man like this. I never needed one before, but when I am near him, I feel this heat. A heat that resonates between both of us.

I have never believed in love before. I mean, I believed in it, but I always thought of it as something that happens due to a brain's chemical reaction. Now that I have Gray, my views have slightly changed.

I realized then that when I was at the asylum, I had a perfect opportunity to break down those doors and save myself from insanity. I never had a motive to break out; Now I do.

Gray was my motivation to live, and I would not stop until I found him.

I travelled up some stairs and found another door with a keypad. The adrenaline was rushing through, and I busted the door down without another thought.

Then I saw him. He was standing on the other side of the door, and I walked towards him. I blinked, and he was gone. In his place was Quinn.

I rushed to get away from him and to the real Gray, but my surroundings changed. All around me was my dad's farm.

My brother was climbing a tree, and that was when I realized what was happening.

Quinn was manipulating me. He was purposely slowing me down, keeping me away from Gray.

I shoved his presence out of my mind. I used my desperateness to push him out of my thoughts. He had no right to violate my mind like that.

I successfully removed his presence from my thought process, and my dream disappeared. I slung Quinn against the walls, shoving my energy into him, but I heard him.

I heard Gray, and I needed to stop, but what if Quinn was playing with my mind again.

I kept drowning Quinn with my powers, but even when I stopped, and Quinn was unconscious, I still heard Gray. I saw him when I turned around, but I didn't believe it.

I grabbed my head and screamed, "Get out of my head!" I was crazy. I had officially been taken over and consumed by my abilities. I am insane.

Then I felt him, smelled him, heard him. He felt real, and suddenly, I felt calm. I felt sane. I felt real.

Then it all turned black and cold.