Dix really wasn’t looking forward to this next part. It was going to hurt, no doubt about it. The thing was too big, too filled with fire, for it to not hurt. Right now it was a matter of how much hurting he was going to do, versus how much he could dish out. For the moment his spells were of no help whatsoever, being a series of wind, water, force and fire bolts. He’d Conjured up one of the biggest spears he could actually wield, in the hopes that he could at least stab it in the face for some damage. It wasn’t a big hope.

You know what, fuck this. I’m not going in there without some sort of set up I can use. I won’t have a valid plan until I know what I am dealing with, but I can fix the spells at least. A twist of a wrist brought mana flowing into his hand, and he launched a Force Bolt at the wall soon after. It seemed the most harmless. When the next set brought up better, but still not useful against a giant pile of rock, even Discharge, he threw another Force Bolt at the wall. And then another one. They were followed by a Fire Bolt, another Force Bolt, and a Lightning Bolt.

Just when it seemed like it would go on until Dix had vented his anger, the spells stopped. In the sudden silence of the cave, a voice suddenly rang out. “Well hello, beautiful. Where have you been the last thirty seconds? You’ll do nicely.” Dix usually kept his odder conversations with himself contained to his mind, but sometimes it was just better talking. Who cares if people think you are crazy, particularly if you actually are.

Dix had actually been looking for a specific spell. It wasn’t big and flashy like Discharge, or even a staple like Flamethrower. In most situations it wasn’t considered to be that dangerous, but it was perfect for this particular situation, even if the name would cause people to think otherwise. Water Slicer. A highly pressurized, thin, directed stream of water. On Earth that was a perfect description of the tool they used to cut granite countertops, and concrete. While he was tempted to use Overpower just to get it started, he was going to channel it. Slow and steady wins the race.

Smiling, now, Dix let out a bark of laughter and charged the rock pile. No sense waiting anymore. He imagined himself briefly as one of the Spartans charging into battle, shield and spear at the ready, heroically fantastic body on full display for the ladies. Off to slay a great foe for the honor and glory.

If he thought the rock pile would rear up, releasing a thunderous roar, and consequently show him a perfect spot to place his spear to impale its heart, he was sorely disappointed. He eventually had to slow to a walk as he had gotten too close to whatever it was, and it hadn’t noticed him. Great, now I’m the guy angrily threatening a pile of rock. Even elementary school bullies are an evolutionary step up. So much for the Legendary Spartan, or Slayer of Elementals.

Dix actually got so irritated with the situation, he started talking out loud again. Grumbling and sarcasm were in high supply. “This better not be a fucking bug. It never matters how huge and dangerous any insect is, people are always just telling you to get a flyswatter. Or a bigger boot. Forty stories tall, and breathes fire? It’s still just a bug, step on it. Fucking idiots. Considering how death has gone for me lately, I’m attempting to murder a pile of dragon shit. I can be the Legendary Manure Harvester! Fucking….” The rest of his statements were just a long series of expletives, slowly lowering in volume until his words could no longer be heard.

Despite swearing for a minute straight, Dix was still irritated. Taking to Man’s greatest tension reliever since time immemorial, he tried hitting things. Considering he was holding a spear, that wasn’t going to work well. After a couple ineffectual swings, he dismissed it and the shield, instead summoning a big hammer. As he started trying to crush the rock pile one swing at a time, you could hear his expletive laced exhalations of breath. “Stupid… Fucking… Rock… Shit... Monster… Fucking… Smash… Your… Fucking… Skull…” He would have gone on for quite some time, had he not hit something more important to the creature hiding.

One particular swing of his hammer had crunched through some sort of shell, hitting actual pain sensitive tissue beneath. With a loud screech and louder rumbling, his actions seemed to have set off an earthquake. While trying to keep his balance by hugging a nearby outcrop on the rock monster, Dix looked around and spotted a plume of fire flying into the air about a third of the way around the pile. He smiled viciously at how well prepared he was for a fire brea…. Shit, I dismissed my shield. What the fuck? Why am I so angry? And stupid?

Suddenly, Dix realized there was more to this fight than just a hunk of rocks and some fire breath. There was some sort of mental component as well, and that was something he had no idea how to deal with. The best he could do was grit his teeth, and try to keep his anger in check. Struggling to handle the rocking of the rocks, he stumbled from jutting boulder, to phallic outcrop, slowly making his way to the top of whatever this thing was. Upon reaching the top he was at a loss for words. The rage was trying to demand his attention again, but he was so impressed by what he was seeing that he simply stared.

The creature he was standing atop wasn’t an elemental, or a dragon, or even a pile of dragon poo. Instead it was a turtle the size of a house. Something decent, like a two bedroom two bath converted barn. Maybe eighteen hundred square feet. Except this house was made of rocks and fire. It was also ambulatory.

The fire turtle stood up slowly, and started turning in place, searching for whoever attacked it. From his position, Dix couldn’t see the legs, but the head was enough of a problem. Not only was it the source of the fire, it was also perched on the end of a long flexible neck. Meaning, if it spotted him up here, it would be able to angle its head into position to bathe him in fire. Figuring it might still be his best bet, he conjured up another Shield, just like the other one. Then he went hunting for a good place to brace it, so he could start making a hole.

After living his whole life with it, you would think Dix would be used to the deliriously strange things his brain had picked up, but even he was shocked by the randomness of it. For instance, he apparently knew that the heart of a turtle, or tortoise most likely in this case, was generally located along the centerline, and towards the front. He was also aware, unfortunately, that it was located on the bottom section of the tortoise, meaning he would have to get through the thickest parts of the shell, and all the way through its body to reach that organ. The lungs covered pretty much everything right under the shell, so they were at least a slightly possible point of attack. As for the shell itself, the seams between sections were strong against an attack against the shell as a whole, say dropped from the sky, but should be susceptible to the pinpoint attack of a high pressure water stream. Getting to any of the actual weak points would be suicide against this creature, as they were all located along the bottom, or the sides of the bottom half. Either fire aimed under it, or just dropping to the ground would kill him pretty quick.

He wouldn’t be able to carve out a large section, and was instead going to first drill a hole through, and see how hard it would be to get more. If he could get a palm sized opening, he could blast spells into the internal organs of the thing, but he actually had a slightly different plan in mind. The fiery tortoise breathed fire. If that was an actual physical trait, instead of a mana based skill or spell, then it would need to have some way to get the fuel for that into its breath. He was betting that it would be near the lungs, which wasn’t hard considering their size, but he wasn’t looking for that organ. Instead he just wanted that fuel in the lungs.

Eventually Dix found a spot he thought would work. There was a small crack in one of the rock chunks that made up the exterior of the shell, right on the seam. With his shield placed correctly he would be almost completely covered from the fire. Some small amount would get through, but Dix thought he could handle the pain if that happened, he did have fire resistance afterall. Crouching down with his shield propped against the surrounding rocks, he got to drilling. This was precisely why he had wasted spells until he got Water Slicer. Well, not precisely, he didn’t know it would be a giant tortoise, but he did think it would cut through the rocks the best. He had always planned to climb whatever this thing turned out to be and slice it open.

Thirty seconds after he started, Dix had his first two surprises. First, the shell was much thinner than he had expected, he had actually managed to care out a chunk instead of just drilling a small hole. Secondly, the shell was mostly hollow, and filled with the fuel he was looking for. Dix had cut down through a seam between two different sections of the shell, thinking it would be like a normal tortoise shell. They have barriers between sections, but this one didn’t. Instead it had supporting pillars at the junctions of more than two plates and scattered throughout the sections themselves. The rest of the shell was completely hollow. Realizing this was his chance to kill this thing, Dix didn’t hesitate.

He had never stopped channelling Water Slicer, and wasn’t about to now. For his plan to work, he needed to get the fuel stored inside the shell, into the lungs which should be just below the shell. To do that he needed to start cutting holes, or better yet, a series of channels that led into the lungs from the storage section. It was hard to be sure he was cutting it right, or even getting through since he couldn’t watch and carve at the same time, being unable to see inside the shell with his arm blocking the hole. If he had a free hand he would have smacked himself. He could see inside just fine if he used Mana Sight, or even Mana Sense. Letting both loose, he watched as he carved the separation thinner and thinner between the two layers.

He was prepared for the tortoise to react badly when he finally punched through, but things didn’t go quite as planned. The tortoise had been searching for whatever had bashed in part of its shell. Had Dix realized that he had bashed through the thinnest part, and hit the leg with his hammer, he might have changed up his plan and started by immobilizing the tortoise first. As it was, as soon as his Water Slicer cut through the last of the layers separating his two goals, all the water he’d been spraying around flooded into the tortoise’s lungs, essentially drowning it.

The head that had been searching for anything odd started heaving and waving around erratically. Water was seeping from its mouth, and then it was wracked by coughing fits. The fierce force pressing against the lungs actually broke free the section of inner shell above the lungs he had been cutting to either side of. This section rocketed straight upwards from the coughing, and shattered Dix’s hand, consequently stopping his channeling of Water Slicer. Screaming in agony, Dix had to drop his shield to pull his mangled limb from the hole. The tortoise heard and saw him, but could do nothing as it was still attempting to get the water out of its lungs.

Knowing he had little time, Dix left the healing of his arm to the Summoned Healer he had had hiding behind the shield with him. Shoving his other hand into the hole, he fired off a Wind Blade towards the lungs, slicing open a large section of the organ. He followed that up with Force Pulse, mostly because it was the only spell he had available that might be useful and wouldn’t blow him up. Earth Spike towards the general direction of the heart, Force Bolt to hit it and force it farther.

He was just making shit up as well as he could right now. The rage had been held at bay as long as he could truly focus, but now he was mostly flailing around trying to damage as much of the internal structure as he could while waiting for the right moment, all without blowing himself up. As long as he avoided Fire or Lightning spells he wouldn’t blow up, but any more Water could also screw him up. That left Earth and Force as mostly useless, and the needed Wind spells, to force more air into the mixture, in short supply. As the anger came back, so did the cursing. Dix was once more grumbling non stop profanity. That and the lashing out with whatever he could were the only things keeping him sane enough to not cause an explosion before he was ready.

When his next spell rotation brought him every Fire and Lightning spell, and one Force Bolt, he barely managed to keep from blowing the whole thing. He needed to wait for the damn tortoise to try and shoot fire breath at him before he could leave. If that wasn’t going to happen, then he needed to cause enough damage to its internal organs that it died, without causing an explosion that would kill him, but be too small to kill the tortoise. Earth Spikes, Wind Blade, Earth Spike, Wind Bullet, Force Pulse. By now his arm was healed, and the tortoise had most of the water out of its lungs. Dix had briefly thought about trying to drown the thing, but decided to stick with the explosive plan, just so he could later make a bad pun about it. And it was explosions, way too much fun to pass up. What’s living without a little fun. Or deading? Really needed to figure that out.

Force Bolt, Earth Spikes, and a lot of cursing about using both. Dix was in full on bitch fest about not having any Wind spells to mix the gasses properly. Looking up, he realized it was time to go. Pulling his hand from the hole and grabbing his Healer, he jumped and cast Force Pulse at the same time. Not quite as cool or useful as a rocket jump, because the force of the spell resonated out from him, but he did get a little boost from the bounce back off the rocks on the shell. However, things were going to change in a moment.

The tortoise, knowing only that it was in pain and had water in its lungs, had been coughing mightily for some time. Every inhale to cough had sucked in the flammable gas stored in its shell through the holes Dix had carved in its lungs and inner shell layer. This would have been a slower process, but the first big cough had broken free a large piece of inner shell that Dix had carved channels onto either side of. This left a huge section of space to draw that flammable gas through. At the same time, the coughing was forcing normal air into space inside its shell. This all resulted in a potent mixture of gasses. In the right mix, a small spark, and with plenty of room to expand, this would result in a flaming breath attack. Locked up inside an enclosed space it was one spark away from being a bomb.

When the tortoise finally stopped coughing, it immediately turned its glare on Dix. It wasn’t sure how, but it knew this tiny thing had hurt it. As retribution, and totally not because it was its only method of attack, it decided to bathe him in flame. As a curious defense mechanism, the tortoise had developed the need to close its eyes when it launched its fire breath, so it completely missed Dix jumping off the back of the tortoise. Chance would know that the odds of the beast caring enough to stop its attack if it had known were nearly zero. So when its Fire Breath hit the small hole Dix had carved through its shell, it was like the fuse of a firework hitting the powder inside. Only the size of a house.