July 27th, 2012

I’m at the Seattle skate park again. This time it was with Cody and Emily. Cody was in the rink doing some tricks as Emily and I watched. I actually don’t remember what we were talking about but it was probably something stupid.

Emily had those black bag under her eyes again. No, they were purple like she was bruised and abused. She kept yawning and resting her head on my shoulder but wouldn’t sleep. Emily’s eyes were red as if she was crying.

“Why don’t you cover those bags in your eyes, Ems?” I finally asked.

“No point,” Emily yawned. “They’ll be there for a few days.”

“Um, sorry for asking, but is everything okay? Like, why do you get them?”

“I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it makes me tired for days no matter what I do. Whenever it happens I don’t get any sleep so it just makes things worse. I only sleep whenever my body gives in.”

“Oh, that sucks. Has it always been like that?”

Emily shook her head on my shoulder. “I got really sick when I was little. This was the aftermath. I’m used to it, so don’t worry.”

“Does it make you anorexic?”

Emily nodded, “I never get hungry and never have the energy to eat at times.”

I look over to the side of the rink where I recognized someone. It was Acid, he was doing a deal with someone else. The other guy was scratching himself real bad. Was that was a crack or meth addict looked like?

He hung around the park for a while. Acid watched the guys skate and then would leave with someone. He had looked over towards me but didn’t acknowledge me.

Cody finished and walked over to us. He wanted to take me out for dinner but I refused. I told him I was too tired and it was best for us to do it tomorrow. “Take Emily home, she looks like she could use the sleep more than me.”

I could stay because I came on my own. In truth, I wanted to stay because I wanted Acid’s number.

A few minutes after Emily and Cody left, I approached Acid. He barely paid any attention towards me as he was far too busy doing something on his phone. “Already done?!” he asked.

I shook my head but doubted he could have seen it, “I still have half. I want your number, for when I run out.”

Acid scoffed, “and get us both caught? Nah lil’ white girl, have Andrew hook you up.”

“No!”

Acid looked up and half smiled. “You serious?” I stayed quiet but didn’t lose my composure that screamed confidence. Acid chuckled, “Wait here,” he said as he texted someone. Acid left the area and ten minutes later he came back with someone else.

This was Lyle.

Lyle has a very sharp face. He’s taller than Cody and Andrew but shorter than Acid. He as bright blonde short hair with turquoise eyes. Lyle wore a tan suit that day. I never saw him without a suit. It reminded me of Neil Patrick Harris’ character in that one show but Lyle was much more rugged. This was someone who wasn’t soft.

This wasn’t someone to mess around with.

But I still did.

“Is this the girl?” he asks me, not Acid.

They waited for me to respond, “Uh, yes. Yes.”

Lyle moved his eyes top and down my body but didn’t even react. “I don’t mess with little girls.”

How insulting. “I’m not a little girl. I can handle my shit.”

Lyle scoffed and looked over at Acid then back at me, “Nah, you ain’t shit. Besides, why do you want a direct line?”

“I don’t want my friends to know how much I’m using. Your shit is amazing, and if you weren’t interested then why did you meet me?”

He chuckled and I took it as a good sign. I’ve seen Breaking Bad, stuff like this can get really intense. I’m just a customer but I still found it odd that Lyle was meeting with me. Or perhaps he was just working for someone else. Either way, I got on his good side. “Okay,” he answered pulling out a card. “Here, it’ll be either straight from me or Acid over here. You got some balls, what’s your name?”

“Elizabeth.”

Lyle laughed, “You can call me Lyle. I’ll see you around, Elizabeth.” He was slow on my name, lingering in the ‘liza’. I watched the two walk away for a second then looked at the card he gave me. It was just a phone number and nothing else. It wasn’t even a Seattle area code, it was 425, the eastern side, our area code.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Cody’s voice yelled behind me. Turned out, he’d been watching the entire time. “Eli, what the fuck was that?”

“Cody! Hi! I was talking.”

“It looked like you were setting up contact.”

“Maybe. What are you even doing here, Cody? I thought you left.”

“Emily’s sleeping in the car, I’m here because I was worried.” Cody's eyes were more confused than angry. I felt that he was vulnerable and I wasn’t sure that I liked that about him. “You’re getting messed up.”

“Yeah? So what? I don’t need you take of me.”

“No, I don’t need too but you’re getting out of control.”

“No, I’m not. I’m just having fun. Why are you so hell-bent on not letting me do what I want?”

Cody didn’t say anything. “What is it that you’re doing, Elizabeth? I thought you didn’t do this sort of shit.”

“People change?”

Cody cracked his neck and sighed. “But not you. You stood above it all. You stood above this town and it’s corruption.”

Cody was right.

But it didn’t matter.

“Maybe I don’t want to be that girl anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Look around, Cody. Isn’t it all meaningless?”

I knew Cody was getting angry again. I thought that if there was any chance of a breakup, it would be here. My mind raced back to the night before where I almost gave myself into Andrew. Those feelings felt so different than with Cody.

Cody was watchful and caring. Being with his was fun and I was always in control. But with Andrew, everything could be wild. It was that impulsive nature that brought that beast out.

When Cody scoffed, that’s when I figured out what I where I wanted to go from that point on. Any doubt I had was now gone; this ego I had created for myself had to die.

“Why don’t you find some other girl who you can keep under leach, go to Emily.”

Cody backed away a bit, visibly pissed. There was this time in middle school where Cody was almost expelled. It was the only time where I saw him really pissed off. It was just everything in his brain had shut off and he just went berserk on this kid that did something to Emily. I thought it was going to happen right then.

“Because maybe I love you,” Cody stopped. Those words. I heard that phrase dozen of times before but they never felt real. They all stung with that hint of false venom.

“Do you mean that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know how it's supposed to feel like, but whatever I feel for you I know that at least it’s something. Look, I asked you to do this kind of shit with me. I just want to make sure you’re with someone you can trust. Not Andrew, not this drug dealer Lyle, or some other guy. Can you promise me that?”

I smiled, “Okay.”