《H*llmark: But Murder and Aliens》Scene 2 - Chris: Janitor's Report
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INT. HUMAN CITY A POLICE PRECINCT - LATER
A distraught man in a sweaty janitor's uniform bursts into the lobby of the police precinct of Human City A. JANITOR BOB (53, balding) rushes to the reception desk. The receptionist, OFFICER KAREN BRUBERT (36, blonde), looks down her nose at him.
OFFICER BRUBERT
(annoyed)
Can I help you, sir?
JANITOR BOB
(panting)
I'd like...gasp...to...report-hah-a crime!
OFFICER BRUBERT
Right...Why didn't you just call 911?
JANITOR BOB
I-I left my phone. Back-back at the office where the, where the...
OFFICER BRUBERT
Where the what, sir?
JANITOR BOB
The slime ball alien thing took over my boss!
Officer Brubert blinks at him. After a moment of prolonged silence, she sighs and presses a button underneath her desk. She leans into a microphone.
OFFICER BRUBERT
Security, we have a code coco in the lobby-
Janitor Bob lurches over the reception desk, covering the mic with his hand.
JANITOR BOB
W-wait! I'm not lying! It really happened, I swear! Please, you gotta get somebody, that thing could be comin' for us all-
OFFICER BRUBERT
(angry)
Sir!
JANITOR BOB
(embarrassed)
S-sorry.
He pulls his hand back.
JANITOR BOB
But, please, you've got to believe me! There's a monster out there!
A well-decorated officer, DETECTIVE CHRIS (32, handsome) enters from a nearby hallway. He's buttoning his detective coat over a starched button down shirt and a bright red tie. Seeing the commotion by the front desk, he ventures closer, frowning.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(concerned)
Is there a problem?
Officer Brubert and Janitor Bob both turn to face him. As the noise crescendos, Detective Chris raises a hand.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
One at a time, please. Officer Brubert, you first.
OFFICER BRUBERT
This man-
Officer Brubert points at Janitor Bob.
OFFICER BRUBERT
Came into this precinct and started jabbering nonsense about his boss being abducted by aliens or something-
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JANITOR BOB
(offended)
It's not nonsense!
OFFICER BRUBERT
Oh, please-
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Officer Brubert, you know we take every report made to this precinct seriously.
OFFICER BRUBERT
(scoffing)
With all due respect, detective, you can't seriously think that this craziness is worth humoring!
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Well, why not?
OFFICER BRUBERT
(sputtering)
Wh-what-This is a police precinct, not some psych ward! We are busy around the clock!
Chris looks around. Aside from the three of them, the precinct is empty. He turns to Janitor Bob with a smile.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(kind)
I think we've got enough time to hear you out, sir. What's the issue? And can I get your name?
The janitor slightly relaxes his shoulders.
JANITOR BOB
Bob, sir. Thank you for givin' me the time o' day...Er, night.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
No worries. It's my job. Why don't you tell me about this report of yours?
(to Officer Brubert)
Make sure you get this down. As an *official* report.
OFFICER BRUBERT
(sighing)
Yes, sir.
When she starts typing on a hidden keyboard, Detective Chris gestures toward Janitor Bob.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Tell me what happened. Who was there?
JANITOR BOB
Well, it was just me, Ms. Smith, and her client. Something Roberts. Can't remember her first name.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
I see...And, Ms. Smith, this is...The owner of Smith's Law Firm? Rebekah Smith?
JANITOR BOB
(nodding)
The very same, sir. She, uh...Well, she's the reason I'm here tonight.
The detective frowns and glances over at Officer Brubert. She's spacing out, idly picking at her nails. Chris clears his throat, glaring. Flushing ever so slightly, Officer Brubert begins typing again.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
What happened to Ms. Smith, Mr. Bob?
JANITOR BOB
(pained)
Well, that's just the thing. I don't...know.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(sighing)
Sir, you can't just come in here claiming something terrible had happened to your employer - who happened to be one of the most renowned lawyers in all of Human City A - and then say you don't know.
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OFFICER BRUBERT
(smirking)
Told you...
The detective grimaces, but doesn't reprimand her.
JANITOR BOB
W-well, it's not that I don't know, it's just...I'm a little confused, is all. You see, what happened to Ms. Smith...it wasn't natural.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Let's get to the point. Are you saying she was murdered? Did somebody-
Janitor Bob shakes his head roughly.
JANITOR BOB
Nothin' like that, sir. She was-she was...
He leans forward.
JANITOR BOB
(quietly)
Possessed.
Detective Chris pulls back, drawing himself up. A look of anger and indigence flashes over his face.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(angry)
A ghost call?
JANITOR BOB
I'm tellin' the truth! I was walkin' by her office when I saw her scream and then this *thing* jumped into her mouth-
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Oh, that’s enough.
Detective Chris grabs Janitor Bob by the arm and starts dragging him toward the front door. Officer Brubert shakes her head as she watches them go.
OFFICER BRUBERT
(muttering)
Thought every report was worth listening to...
Janitor Bob protests, trying and failing to dislodge his arm.
JANITOR BOB
Please, you've got to believe me! She went and killed that girl! She could be anywhere now!
Detective Chris pauses. Janitor Bob nearly slams into him, unbalanced. Janitor Bob gingerly pulls his arm away and rubs it.
JANITOR BOB
She was like some sort of monster, stretching out like cheese. Got her hooks real good into that poor girl. Smiled at her dying body, that horrible thing.
Detective Chris turns around. He steps closer to Janitor Bob in a mildly threatening manner, his face calm yet stern. Janitor Bob retreats half a step, cowering.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
So you're telling me that a respected lawyer who's worked tirelessly for 7 years to make this city a better place is a murderer?
JANITOR BOB
(shaking his head)
No, sir. I've known Ms. Smith a long while. She wouldn't do somethin' like that. It was...it was that *thing* that got up inside of her.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(snarling)
Get out!
Janitor Bob quickly rushes past the detective, scurrying out of the precinct. Sighing, Detective Chris looks up at Officer Brubert.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
(tiredly)
Did you get any of that?
OFFICER BRUBERT
(incredulous)
Yes, sir, I did. But...are you really going to...?
DETECTIVE CHRIS
I have to try...I've known Becca-Ms. Smith ever since we were kids. If something happened...
He trails off, looking into the distance.
DETECTIVE CHRIS
Send the file to my computer, Brubert. I'll be back.
OFFICER BRUBERT
Where are you going?
DETECTIVE CHRIS
To check things out for myself.
The detective buttons up his coat fully before exiting the precinct.
Officer Brubert sighs.
OFFICER BRUBERT
I'm never taking the night shift again.
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