《The Divine Gemstones》Chapter 7.5: Detrimental Voice
Advertisement
"The more temptations you resist, the stronger you get." -Sachi
Have you ever felt like sometimes there is a voice in your head telling you that all you’re doing is wrong? That I should probably just give up, or even to the point of committing harm to others for your own benefit? Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling since, pretty much since I was born.
This strange voice awakened when I was five years old, already telling me that I should stop trying to do things, that all the effort I put on making friends it’s all futile. My eyes were always entirely black, including my sclera; for that reason, many kids never really wanted to be friends with me because they thought I was weird… but in the end, I found someone that accepted me even though I was different.
As clingy as I am, I wanted to be more than friends with this person, but day by day I see other girls getting even closer to him than I can since they live with him.
“You’re not good enough… you’re NOTHING compared to them.” Be quiet… I can deal with it just fine.
I was resting on the backboard of my bed. I live in an Inn since I work here they allow me to sleep here for free, and since I’m basically poor, this is very lucky for me.
Almost every day I wake up depressed, this voice just won’t stop bringing me down.
I have been living my whole life alone, no-one has helped me, and no one has ever asked if I was ok.
I tried to get up and start the new day, but as much as I wanted I just felt like staying in bed for the whole day and sleeping; either way, I’ll just be having nightmares after nightmares…
Advertisement
“Just listen to me, and we could fix all these problems in a blink of an eye.” I learned to ignore this voice and go on with life, but it gets harder and harder each day that passes.
An hour later I decided to finally get up and go buy some food since I was running short on it. I started walking through the plaza with my hoodie on so I wouldn’t cast much attention, I was looking around and saw many couples together walking holding hands or kissing in a corner.
“That will never be you. That kid is already doing these things with the other girls.” That’s not true! “I can give you everything you want, I can give you that kid if you wanted, just let me out.” I don’t need your help!
Walking around gave me a lot of memories about the first time that Rukito showed me around town, we even went to a local restaurant, and he paid for my food… I looked down at my ring and said,
“How much do I have left in here? Probably like 50…” That’s enough to buy some instant food. Rukito wanted to give me a lot of money so I could buy what I needed, but I couldn’t accept it, as hard as I wanted to. I bought what I needed and paid with my ring. Now I only have 5 Crystalis left… I started walking back to the inn when a couple bumped into my basket and made all my fruits fall on the ground.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going, weirdo!” I stayed silent and picked up everything.
“Bash their heads with a rock, Sachi. Show them how to behave!” I said SHUT UP!
I got up and started walking home again, this time looking up, so I don’t bump into anyone.
Advertisement
I am also unable to cry, as much as I want to sometimes I just can’t… I guess these eyes don’t allow me. With the fact that I was never able to cry, since I was a little kid I was never able to call the attention of adults or of other kids by crying; showing how much suffering I was going through to other people through tears wasn’t an option for me, so I had to live my whole live suffering by myself, in a corner when no one could notice.
I got back to the inn, my boss called my phone, and I picked up.
“Y-Yes?”
“Sachi I need to talk to you in my office.”
“Yes, sir!” I walked up to his office and sat on the chair parallel to his.
“Sachi, I’ve been getting bad things from customers.”
“What do you mean?”
“They have been complaining about you… they are saying that you need to be more social and happier.”
“I-I’m sorry boss… I don’t think I can do that.”
“I know, that’s why… you’re fired Sachi.”
“W-What?! N-No, sir! You don’t understand!” I rushed towards him. “I need this job, if I don’t I’ll be living in the side of the street!”
“Sorry Sachi, that’s just how business works, you start negatively impacting my business, you get fired.”
“Please, sir! I’ll do anything!”
“Anything?”
“Y-Yes!” He looked down at my chest.
“Then I guess we can come to an agreement.”
“H-Huh?” He got up and grabbed my butt.
“How about we have a little fun…” I slapped him and stepped back.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Tsk, you stupid bitch! Leave my inn now! And you’re also expelled from the school!” I rushed away from his office, going to my room and locking it. I laid on my bed hugging my pillow in sadness and sorrow.
“Rukito… please help me.”
“I can help you.”
“C-Can you really?”
“Yes, I can fix everything for you.”
“O-Ok.”
“Just relax… and let your mind and soul drift away.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was starting to get sleepy and lose consciousness, I felt my whole body shaking, and then… my mind just went blank.
Advertisement
The Right Place At The Wrong Time
"What will you feel if, by inevitable circumstance, you never see your most beloved ever again?" ~~~ In the year 2000, 18-year-old Steven Vincenzo moved from the Philippines to the USA due to his father's promotion. They settle down in a small neighborhood known as Izzaya, in a city called Haggrew. Just a few days after moving, he finds out about a dark past from the Prohibition Era that still haunts the neighborhood, a dark past full of grizzly murders and kidnappings. Determined to know more about it, he finds out that there are ties to an old abandoned house he always passes by in the neighborhood, seeing it as a lead. Hesitant at first, due to the fear of breaking and entering. In order to find out more, he needed to go into the abandoned house where he finds a mysterious door that isn't like any other in the house. The infamous door that was presumed to be "The Culprit's Room." He enters the room where he suddenly got sucked in by an unstoppable force. He wakes up outside the abandoned house, to a confused girl in front of him trying to get him back into his senses. This girl was wearing vintage clothing and had quite a distinct accent that Steven had never heard of before, except in movies and TV series. Looking around, he knew something was definitely wrong. The abandoned house looked newly built along with other old houses in the vicinity. Trying to understand the situation he's in with all the clues he has, he eventually asks the girl what year it currently was to confirm his speculations. To this, the girl replies with a serious tone, "1927." Steven doesn't know what to do with all this information. Will he be happy that he could know more about the dark past and possibly try preventing it? Will he be distressed in trying to figure out how to come back to his own time?
8 187The Forgotten Lands
Waking up in a strange land, Lona was taken in by a woman named Erris. Three months later, there's a knock on the door, and Lona has to go to town alone. There, she gets into trouble with a shady knight only to be saved by a mysterious woman named Vese. It is then Lona learns that this strange land is called purgatory, and her memories are scattered around the world. Will she recover her memories? And even if she does, what will she do afterwards?
8 205Theurgy: The Journey's Dawn (Book One)
#1 THEURGY SERIES Lyse Opal, a born simple farmer who grew up in a small village of one of the most powerful empires of the world. One that had stayed in peace, recently disturbed. Of many things, he wanted to preserve this peace, become someone to inspire others, like the heroes he is told. To become a legend. Something that he wanted and Fate intended to exploit. In this age of monsters who lurk the lands, and those with the ability to change their forms and live among humans, his path has been directed, and he must rise even higher than legend if he wishes to save his family, his country and himself from a disastrous foe who threatens the stability of the world order with the power of ancient gods. In his journey to collect several ancient gems, he must oppose the dark power of an ancient, mysterious guild, summon the powers of divinity and defeat the immortal foe before all chaos breaks throughout the empire, and possibly the very corners of the world.
8 307The Divine Artists of Zephir
The land of Zephir has long been dominated by the divine arts. The weak are left behind and the strong, become stronger. In the path to reach the summit of the divine arts, stands Oyzal. Join him as he attempts to reach the heavens and become one of the strongest divine artists in the land of Zephir.
8 152I Just Want to Live a Peaceful Life!
Some people do their best in their second life, others become heroes after getting isekai'd. A handful of people go off to do great things after reincarnating in another world. Arthur just wants to work the safest job possible in his new, fantasy world. Sure, there's the threat of a Demon Lord ravaging the world with his giant armies, but there's already other people that's been reincarnated before him. Why use your overpowered ability to risk your life for a kingdom you barely know when you're living off minimum wage in a fantasy world?
8 149Words and Emotions of Me
"I write. I am a writer. I am proud of myself for writing."The last months have been a true roller-coaster of emotions for me, and I did the one thing a writer would do in such a situation-I wrote about them. I wrote until my fingers hurt from typing and I wrote until my hands were stained with ink.For me, putting feelings into words has always made me feel better, or helped me understand what I was going through. I believe in the healing and therapeutic power of writing.And so, I wrote poems. Poems that I want to share with the world.This is the collection of the poetry that I wrote so far. The poems that may be written in the future, after the collection is out, will also be uploaded.
8 121