《Chaos (old)》Beginning with an End

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The sky was on fire.

Crimson flames blazed upon the clouds as two suns drowned within the sea.

A young boy, around fifteen years of age, sat before a simple grave, watching the death of the day. As he had every other day. Ever since then. And yet, his eyes seemed to gaze elsewhere.

The boy was, in many ways, abnormal.

His eyes were clear and yet clouded with grief.

His irises and hair seemed to be crafted of shining gold.

His face seemed divine as if he were a god, and yet he radiated an unbearable sadness.

He had been sitting in the same spot for a year now.

As the night began to encroach upon the sky, the boy opened his mouth and sang.

As he had every other day. Ever since then.

His lament echoed across the ocean, holding endless grief and pain, seeming to beseech the twin suns for answers.

"I do not remember who I was.

I do not know, do not wish to know, what I was.

I cannot recall how I died.

I have no thought of how I lived.

I cannot ache for what I loved.

I know only the wretched creature before you.

So why would you believe that I deserve to know?

I am a being born from lament.

A being whose misery was from existence.

A being whose life was from suffering

Suffering from the pain of being completely.

And utterly.

Alone.

So why do you believe that I should be rid of this solitude?

I have not known warmth nor compassion.

Nor fury nor sorrow nor joy nor regret.

Emotions were a foreign concept, humanity a simple myth.

For myself I felt only emptiness, and for life, apathy.

The hell of agony to end my solitude.

Yet I needed to be cured of life, the state of being alive, the action of liveliness.

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So why do you insist that I suffer through it again?

I have preyed upon the lives of hundreds of thousands.

Ripped souls from bodies and annihilated the bodies of souls.

My very presence is enough for the sky to bleed black and lament in a downpour of tears.

My existence makes blood run cold and instills the air with despair.

I feel no remorse, I feel no pleasure, I feel nothing at all.

I am a monster without, a demon within, and purgatory given form.

So how can you possibly say that there is humanity within me?

I took you from your home, I took you from your friends.

I took you as a captive, and again and again, reminded you;

It is hopeless to hope. It is useless to believe.

I took the people who were your hope and ended them before you.

So why, at the end, do you still reach for me like you care?

I feel my wings burn, but there is no pain.

Ashes we were and ashes we will become, just dust in the wind.

I do not know why but I reach for you, in vain.

Because I turned my gaze to yours, expecting jubilation.

And instead there are tears, glittering bright.

I was the monster that stood for all you despises, all you denied.

So why, as I was fading, did you still accept me?

You showed me the weakness in my strength.

You showed me the fall within my flight.

You showed me how I was broken behind my mithril walls.

You showed me the blindness in my omniscient eyes.

You showed me the heart I never had, buried and beating in yours.

You showed me your brightest light in my darkest time.

The light that I always wanted.

The light that ever eluded my eyes.

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The light that escaped between my fingers.

For I never realized

That in my unnoticed quest

All I had to do was open my eyes.

And now they will close forever, and I will never see that light again.

Do not cry for me. Do not mourn for me.

I do not deserve the small piece of your heart you have given me.

But then again, you have always done what I least expected, what I never saw.

As I turn into ash and ash into dust, my memories of you will fade.

Because beautiful things always fade."

He sang for the girl who he had ended.

He sang for the one who had exchanged herself for him when he had been fading...

He sang for the god who had given her life for his.

He sang for the child whose life he had taken.

And then it was night.

His golden irises faded to an inhuman black.

His hair seemed to float for a moment, becoming an empty white.

Many believed that black and white were opposites, but both colors were the same to the boy.

For both were the colors of the void.

The empty void.

The void with nothing to give.

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