We walked beneath the glare of the twin suns, their influence transforming the barren landscape of black and grey into a hellish expanse of deep crimson. Our path snaked across the broken earth, twisting to avoid the myriad of deep crevices and short, jagged peaks. It still surprised me that anything lived in this wasteland, all I could see the promise was death.

I could see why travelling through it for hours had done little to improve Elmidath’s mood, she was still fuming. “I can’t believe no one woke me up.”

“Sorry, I overslept myself. Yesterday was more draining than I thought. I’m sure the servants had plenty to do as well, you shouldn’t take it personally.” There was no way I was going to admit to letting her sleep in.

Her only reply was to exhale through her nose in a manner that communicated she would indeed be taking it personally; my suggestion be damned. Squinting against the brightness of the afternoon suns, I resolved to ignore her. She was bound to settle down eventually, especially when it was over something so minor.

It’s not like waiting a few hours would make any real difference, couldn’t she at least appreciate that she got to sleep in? I would very much have liked to do the same. Letting Elmidath lead, we traversed the countryside in the direction of the nearby village. However, as we drew closer, she adjusted course so that we’d circumvent it altogether. “Aren’t we going to the village?” Obviously she didn’t intend to but I didn’t understand why.

“No. We have more important things to do than waste time there.”

“Shouldn’t you at least explain to the villagers what happened?”

She shrugged. “They’ll find out sooner or later. We’ve lost enough time as it is, the villagers can wait. I’ll pay them an official visit when my reign isn’t in danger of abruptly ending.”

I didn’t bother saying anything more, it was clear she had no intention of changing her mind. Her subjects were probably used to this sort of treatment. I can’t imagine being a peasant in the service of a Demon Lord offered much in the way of security or fair treatment. It had to be at least as bad as my own position, right?

If not then I wanted to trade. Let one of the villagers fight for Elmidath and I’ll become a farmer, or whatever the hell it is these villagers actually do. I’d only lived as a warrior for a few days but I could already see the appeal of taking up farming instead.

I wonder how long it would be before I’m allowed to retire? Probably not until I was in too poor a shape to fight, assuming I was still alive at that point. I couldn’t see much chance of Elmidath or my own sword letting me off with less than that. If only not wanting to was a good enough reason to get out of fighting, then I’d be fine. Unfortunately, the world wasn’t even close to that convenient.

We took a wide circuit around the outskirts of the village, if anything of the villagers spotted us they did little to make us aware of them. Leaving the tiny part of this world that I was at all familiar with behind, it was days before we encountered any further signs of civilization. It seemed the area out here was mostly untamed, no wonder given the state of it.

The packs Elmidath’s servants had prepared had more than enough food for the trip if we ate sensibly but the dried meat made for dull fare. I was really starting to miss the food back on earth. And even worse was the lack of beverages. There was nothing like juice or soda available, just weak alcohol or water. Neither of which was too enjoyable.

Elmidath was withdrawn through the journey, speaking only when necessary. It was only when we sighted another village ahead that she brightened, if only fractionally. She stopped to stare at the buildings, taking in the layout of the place or searching for something. “We’re staying here for the night.”

“Why’s that?” Not that I had any objections, but was there something noteworthy about this place? The houses looked much like one near the manor, even the size of the village was roughly similar.

“Because they probably won’t recognize us here and I want to ask the locals about the conditions on the road ahead. The last thing we want is to run into an approaching army or something.”

I blanched. “Is that likely?”

“Hard to say, that’s exactly why we need more information.”

“Fair enough.” I’m not sure how useful whatever information she gathered was likely to be, but if there was a chance at a hot meal and a bed for the night it was fine by me.

It was a few hours after dawn when we passed the outlying homes and entered the village proper, where the buildings were clustered. Looking around for someone to talk to, we heard a panicked cry from somewhere ahead. I glanced at Elmidath and we hurried off to see what was happening. My first assumption was that the Tertiums had decided to raid this place as well. Unslinging my sword, I pulled it free of the sheath and set off.

When we located the source of the cry, I realised my guess wasn’t too far off. A pair of muscular humanoids, at least three heads taller than me and much broader, were standing outside one of the largest buildings in the village. Covered in thick scales with a layer of dirt on top, they each carried a club shaped of yellow rock. Yet despite their menacing appearance, and whoever was inside certainly felt quite menaced, their squat features bore looks of contemplation.

The shorter of the two was talking when we came into view. “But surely it is right and proper when barred entrance to a public house such as this. Do we not have a right to be served as would any other? We would be clearing an obstacle to the greater good in both the figurative and literal sense.”

I stopped in my tracks and stared, open-mouthed. Had this brutish creature really said all that?

His companion let out a grunt of disagreement. “We are in agreement that an injustice has been done here, but I posit the destructive act which you suggest would serve an even greater evil; that of disturbing the peace of this quaint place. Not to mention damaging a perfectly innocent building. It is the owner who is at fault, not their place of business.”

“Ah, but if this is building is one of the tools by which said owner carries out their wickedness, then is it not too worthy of destruction?”

The question gave the other creature pause. While they were scratching their chin, Elmidath stepped forward and demanded to know what was happening. They both shifted their considerable bulk to face her. I was worried that they might attack, but they seemed content to just stand there.

The shorter of the two spoke first. “We are attempting to resolve a civil dispute. After a long day of travel, we sought out an inn that we might refresh ourselves. Spying this loathsome establishment, we decided to partake of their services only to find the way barred. When we inquired as to the nature of the problem, we were informed that we would be offered no sustenance and that we were to leave immediately. We were debating whether to destroy the whole establishment or if punishing the proprietor would be sufficient when you happened along.” Having explained their position, he sucked in a deep breath and I took the opportunity to speak.

“Why does it have to be one or the other? Couldn’t you just leave?”

They glanced at each other, confused. The taller one tapped his foot on the ground. “I suppose we could leave.” He shook his head vehemently and spat on the ground. “But to leave such a wrong unrighted? It’s unconscionable.”

Gnashing his yellow teeth, he stomped toward me, raving. Though admittedly, his ravings were remarkably articulate. “Who would we be to leave such a blight upon the world? Little better than worms I say. Perhaps even less. Are you in league with this villain inside the inn?” One of his meaty fingers jabbed in my direction. “I can think of no other reason why you would propose such a nonsensical course. Unless you are perhaps suffering from some malady of the mind.”

“Uh.” I wracked my brain for an excuse but found it to be blank. How was I supposed to satisfy these mad yet surprisingly intelligent creatures? Fortunately, Elmidath saw fit to come to my rescue. She made soothing gestures and interposed herself between the creature and I. “Please forgive my companion, he’s only recently arrived from abroad. He’s still adjusting to the ways things are over here.”

The scaled humanoid shrunk back, mollified “A foreigner, eh? That would explain his queer mannerisms. Perhaps I was too quick in my assumptions, please accept my apologies.” He made a sweeping motion with his stone club and offered a shallow bow, little more than a dip of his head and shoulders. “That, at least, has been explained to my satisfaction. But we are no closer to reaching a solution regarding the inn.”

His companion tapped his thick palm against the wall of the building in question. “No closer indeed, and I tire of waiting. My stomach cries out for us to resolve this quickly. Why not ask one of these strangers to settle our dispute? I feel that either choice will serve well enough at this juncture and it seems as fair a means to break this deadlock as any.”

The shorter brute narrowed his eyes at me. “Though I agree in principle, I object to leaving the decision up to this mad foreigner’s discretion.”

“A fine point, then we shall leave the judgement up to the lady.”

They stared at Elmidath, soft, round faces full of expectation. Lady Sarinknell shared a look with me. “Very well but give me a moment to think.”

Neither of them looked too pleased at that but the shorter one started in. “Then think but be quick about it.” A remarkably unhelpful instruction but I could see their impatience was growing. We would have been better off ignoring the commotion all together rather than getting involved with these two.

Expressions darkening as they waited, they shifted with restless energy. They seemed about to take action and unleash their destructive impulses when Elmidath spoke. “It seems to me that we have too little information to make an informed decision. How can you call the owner of this inn wicked without even knowing their intentions?” Based on their frowns, it seemed like she was losing them, but Elmidath pressed on. “There could be many reasons, free from any malice, as to why they might have barred the way. Maybe they’re not serving any customers at all today, rather than you in particular.”

The taller one scoffed. “Ridiculous. Are we not to assume ill will when such injustices are inflicted upon us? Do you mean to say that if I awoke one morning to find my purse gone that I should not presume on the thief’s intentions? That perhaps they simply mistook it for their own?” He slammed his club against the ground. “No, of course not. So why should I give this blackguard the benefit of the doubt when he has offered us nothing but animosity?”

Chins jiggling, he shook his head. “We were foolish to ask either of you, you’re just as mad as each other.”

I think it goes without saying they were clearly the mad ones here but I wasn’t going to tell them that to their faces. There was no sense getting into pointless fights, and I doubted they would receive such criticism with good grace.

The shorter one stepped forward and clapped his counterpart on the shoulder. “You’re right that these little demons are in all probably spouting nonsense, but I feel we should at least entertain her suggestion and investigate the proprietor’s intentions, if only in the spirit of scientific inquiry.” He stretched out his arm toward the heavens. “Ought not we do at least that much when confronted with a point of view beyond what we perceive as common sense?”

The other creature sniffed. “I will humour you and entertain this notion for now. I’m not sure I agree with your statement in general terms, but as these are exceptional circumstances, I believe I can stomach it for the moment.” He looked toward the inn. “But how are to go about this investigation? The propitiator’s refusal to allow us entrance or engage in meaningful dialogue is the root cause of our dilemma.”

I stepped forward. “Then let us go in your place and speak with them.”

“Fine. I confess that my interest in this case is beginning to dwarf my immediate need for sustenance for the moment, and I’ve enough grace to allow you a few minutes to discern the truth. I rather doubt you’ll uncover anything to disprove my supposition, but I look forward to debating the issue.”