《BurgerPunk: Pizza Time》10. Don't Flush
Advertisement
Cross promotional advertising lined the eye level space of the windows he walked by. Half off burgers with proof of purchase of what can only be described as a small cheaply made plastic object meant for entertaining children for roughly five minutes before they get bored of it. Its name was near unpronounceable, but the advertisements tried their best to give life to the randomized string of letters. Even worse was that the recognition scan software used to monitor the people it viewed was only programmed to recognize general characteristics of the viewer. The private sector had everyone’s data, enough to know exactly who everyone was, but the issue was more the logistical cost benefit analysis of it. Why would a company waste billions of dollars to be minority report?
Instead, the software analyzed only what was Infront of it, which, when it was bought by government contract and installed across the nation’s federal buildings, no one asked a lawyer to review it. If they had, they would have known that this type of software was going to be bringing with it a whole world of endless civil rights litigation.
The government had basically bought a stereotype machine. That’s to put it lightly. The petitions filed in federal court called them Racist robots. The software would start speaking Mandarin to anyone that was seemingly asian. The software couldn’t tell the difference between any of them. Every white man that walked by was called sir and suggested they buy boating shoes. When the camera could actually recognize a black person, instead of it’s normal settings that made anyone darker than a bleached eggshell look like a shadow, it would begin advertising to them in Ebonics. Old people were shouted at with the speaker volume on max.
The subsequent class action lawsuits against the government were immense. Unlike most class action suits that people didn’t even realize they were a part of one, the racist robots were all anyone could talk about. By the end of the litigation, the national debt had tripled, but spending was on the rise. The vast majority of people didn’t so much work, but more, consumed endlessly due to their settlement government money. Not that this was nearly enough to do anything meaningful on, but it helped prevent an absolutely catastrophic meltdown of the economy for a little while.
Advertisement
The private sector didn’t stop using the racist robots. They only own the government. They aren’t actually the government. The distinction matters, legally.
When he walked into the park the sun was almost setting. People began gathering in the amphitheater. A few still in line getting a cola and hatdag after more than a few shots of Jame-o.
He looked around for Malcom and eventually found him after being near blinded by the incessant glow of the setting sun.
“I got us some good seats!”
“Thanks Malcom. Did you figure out what the movie was?”
“Naw dude, I just got drunk and ate half a dozen hatdags,” he said as he bit into another hatdag.
“Did you figure out who the ‘PaGRECOaRCftBoSaOSH’ are?”
“Oh, you mean the dudes in robes giving out the booze? Oh man, they know how to put on a party.”
“God damn it, I’m gonna’ go look around.”
“The movies about to start!” Malcom said as the projector flickered on.
Looking around the sterile grounds of a privately sponsored park was not the most inspirational view he had seen, but the fact that the color palette was mostly green, and the opaque grey of concrete gave his eyes a little rest.
The men in robes were all behind temporary tents, with hotplates and ice chests full of delicious goods being passed out the stragglers waiting for the movie. When he approached them to ask about the film, their responses seemed to present an idea of surprise instead of simply answering the damn question. He didn’t believe it was in his best interest to continue speaking to them, but he could tell that they were rather excited to get him to his seat.
In an attempt to fake out the staff he briskly walked to the parks built in restrooms which were surrounded by portable toilet boxes, each with a brightly glowing LED light of red or green signifying whether it was occupied or not. When he entered the restroom he was surprised, in the shallowest variation of the word, to find a homeless man picking at his skin into where a mirror should be but wasn’t. Small plastic screws lined the four corners of where a mirror had once been, but it appeared that the homeless man didn’t mind. Walking into a stall he found the lock mechanism to be on the rusty side of things and took both hands to lock. Without realizing it he had already pulled his pants down to poop.
Advertisement
“I wouldn’t suggest flushing if I were you, mister.”
He didn’t respond. He didn’t like talking to strangers while reliving himself.
“Flushing round these parts leads to unknown consequences.” The feint sound of popping pustules could be heard over the stall walls. “When you flush, you don’t come back.”
“Where do they go?”
“Going is much less an act and more so an idea. If one were to go but stay, then where would they happen upon? That is the real question you should ask.”
“What the hell are you on about.”
“The metaphysical existence of the verb to go must be conjugated in the minds eye. Make use of words outside their sociological meanings and you will see exactly the going one must think before one can go, lest they already be gone.”
His massive duce dropped and the water splashed his bottom, followed by the sound of a powerful stream.
The homeless man continued. “For example, if I were to tell you that I couldn’t be told what to do, but then you told me not to do what you told me to do, I would be trapped in a state of both doing and not doing. This same logic applies to going and having gone. Do you see?”
Small droplets of urine could be heard as the liquid died down.
“The act of constantly becoming is one that many do not fully realize, as the act of realizing becomes the act of becoming in the process. The state of realization is but a fragment in the time spent becoming, lest one has become. If one has become, then one has died, for there is always more becoming for the living. To go is the act of going. Just as to become is the act of becoming.”
He wiped.
“When Shakespeare discussed being or not being, he actually was discussing going.”
He started pulling up his pants. He was on auto pilot.
“Baudrillard’s synthesis of simulation posits an entire speculative venerable ideation of the thesis of going.”
He wasn’t thinking, and he flushed.
The floor fell out from below him.
The homeless man laughed.
Advertisement
- In Serial23 Chapters
PANDORA. Hope Dies Last (ToG)
The first female was the last to die.Creation of the gods themselves, she was blessed with all the blessings...but little did she know that her existence was a curse. Within her, she held all evil, malevolence, and suffering waiting to be released at the sign of her weakening will.Sent force to the world of man with 'Curiosity', she caused the death of a world. Innocence is replaced by malice. Laughter with cries. Eternal life with mortality.Cursed for her very existence, she was the first to agree. Yet death doesn't come easily for one blessed by the deathless ones. Reborn through a greater will than the gods themselves, she is offered a chance to strike against greater powers.Reborn in a Tower of greater scale than worlds, what does she climb for? Fueled with vengeance, anger, and hatred she picks up her blade.All her blessings and curses armed against her enemies...she will see the gods fall no matter what. Her name? Pandora Despite the heavy beginning, this is a story about learning and development. The story's tone will gradually begin to lighten as her world grows brighter once more. Comedy elements included. AN: Due to the different setting, time, and plot of this fanfic from canon ToG, it can be considered more of an Original Story borrowing the world of ToG. Non-fans of ToG can read because all elements will be clearly explained and taken slowly. Enjoy! Fandom: Greek Mythology, Tower of God Disclaimer: I do not own Tower of God. That belongs to SIU and Webtoon. Image belongs to Crafterm, found on Creative Commons
8 88 - In Serial109 Chapters
Beyond Humanity: Lightning Falling and Hook of Rage
Humanity reaches deeper and deeper into space with its starships and Space Cities. Maybe their technology and curiosity has taken them too far? A scientist and an electrician walk down separate paths following the clues and secrets of the powers. Magical powers that let some shatter boulders with their fists and some discharge beams of ice from their palms and more. Everyone is different, and specific mental traits are key. There are many secrets left to discover. A man cloaked by mystery and power works from the shadows, he has been given the tools to ensure humanity’s place in the Universe. The future of humanity, how much is it worth? Beyond Humanity will consist of three novels and all will be published in this sequence of chapters. The chapter POVs will rotate between Beth and Milo but with some guest inclusions of other characters. A new chapter will be published every Sunday, and whenever extra words drip off my fingers.
8 113 - In Serial9 Chapters
The World of Thera!
Their whole class was transported to an another world without any warning, confused by the sudden change of their lives they made mistakes which caused them to regret it. Surrounded by untrustworthy people who abused their power for being the heroes they promised to themselves that they would create a kingdom in where no one would get hurt and all the races will live without discrimination and worry. Using their wit and powers to destroy those who obstruct them, the greedy nobles and a race full of hatred to the human race. Would they live through their challenges in the World of Thera? ========================================================== This is an experimental story, please tell me some mistakes or flaws in this story so I can improve myself.
8 69 - In Serial18 Chapters
Ping Pong King
Wan XiYang bet his happiness on winning the Ping Pong King tournament. But, at a crucial moment, he lost. In a state of sadness, he was given a chance to change that fate. Complete a task given to him by the White God and his wish will be granted. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is going to be a short story, probably less than 40 chapters.
8 150 - In Serial17 Chapters
DEMONS (Meliodas x Reader)
You have been with the captain since he was born, you were with the ten commandments with him, you joined the eight deadly sins with him, you were his right hand woman but then elizabeth came in she changed him put him through so much pain... but ill always be there for him. Even though i hate her I will never hurt her it would hurt him... So I suffer in Silence. What will happen when the ten commandments come? Does Meliodas feel things for you? Find out.MANGA SPOILERSI DO NOT OWN SEVEN DEADLY SINS0ctober 26 2018 - May 4 2019
8 190 - In Serial35 Chapters
Book of Suicide Poems
This is my way to say goodbye.Warning: the poems might be triggering. If you believe you cannot stand reading depression and sucide poems because you might be triggered, please, for your own good, don't.
8 213

