《BurgerPunk: Pizza Time》10. Don't Flush
Advertisement
Cross promotional advertising lined the eye level space of the windows he walked by. Half off burgers with proof of purchase of what can only be described as a small cheaply made plastic object meant for entertaining children for roughly five minutes before they get bored of it. Its name was near unpronounceable, but the advertisements tried their best to give life to the randomized string of letters. Even worse was that the recognition scan software used to monitor the people it viewed was only programmed to recognize general characteristics of the viewer. The private sector had everyone’s data, enough to know exactly who everyone was, but the issue was more the logistical cost benefit analysis of it. Why would a company waste billions of dollars to be minority report?
Instead, the software analyzed only what was Infront of it, which, when it was bought by government contract and installed across the nation’s federal buildings, no one asked a lawyer to review it. If they had, they would have known that this type of software was going to be bringing with it a whole world of endless civil rights litigation.
The government had basically bought a stereotype machine. That’s to put it lightly. The petitions filed in federal court called them Racist robots. The software would start speaking Mandarin to anyone that was seemingly asian. The software couldn’t tell the difference between any of them. Every white man that walked by was called sir and suggested they buy boating shoes. When the camera could actually recognize a black person, instead of it’s normal settings that made anyone darker than a bleached eggshell look like a shadow, it would begin advertising to them in Ebonics. Old people were shouted at with the speaker volume on max.
The subsequent class action lawsuits against the government were immense. Unlike most class action suits that people didn’t even realize they were a part of one, the racist robots were all anyone could talk about. By the end of the litigation, the national debt had tripled, but spending was on the rise. The vast majority of people didn’t so much work, but more, consumed endlessly due to their settlement government money. Not that this was nearly enough to do anything meaningful on, but it helped prevent an absolutely catastrophic meltdown of the economy for a little while.
Advertisement
The private sector didn’t stop using the racist robots. They only own the government. They aren’t actually the government. The distinction matters, legally.
When he walked into the park the sun was almost setting. People began gathering in the amphitheater. A few still in line getting a cola and hatdag after more than a few shots of Jame-o.
He looked around for Malcom and eventually found him after being near blinded by the incessant glow of the setting sun.
“I got us some good seats!”
“Thanks Malcom. Did you figure out what the movie was?”
“Naw dude, I just got drunk and ate half a dozen hatdags,” he said as he bit into another hatdag.
“Did you figure out who the ‘PaGRECOaRCftBoSaOSH’ are?”
“Oh, you mean the dudes in robes giving out the booze? Oh man, they know how to put on a party.”
“God damn it, I’m gonna’ go look around.”
“The movies about to start!” Malcom said as the projector flickered on.
Looking around the sterile grounds of a privately sponsored park was not the most inspirational view he had seen, but the fact that the color palette was mostly green, and the opaque grey of concrete gave his eyes a little rest.
The men in robes were all behind temporary tents, with hotplates and ice chests full of delicious goods being passed out the stragglers waiting for the movie. When he approached them to ask about the film, their responses seemed to present an idea of surprise instead of simply answering the damn question. He didn’t believe it was in his best interest to continue speaking to them, but he could tell that they were rather excited to get him to his seat.
In an attempt to fake out the staff he briskly walked to the parks built in restrooms which were surrounded by portable toilet boxes, each with a brightly glowing LED light of red or green signifying whether it was occupied or not. When he entered the restroom he was surprised, in the shallowest variation of the word, to find a homeless man picking at his skin into where a mirror should be but wasn’t. Small plastic screws lined the four corners of where a mirror had once been, but it appeared that the homeless man didn’t mind. Walking into a stall he found the lock mechanism to be on the rusty side of things and took both hands to lock. Without realizing it he had already pulled his pants down to poop.
Advertisement
“I wouldn’t suggest flushing if I were you, mister.”
He didn’t respond. He didn’t like talking to strangers while reliving himself.
“Flushing round these parts leads to unknown consequences.” The feint sound of popping pustules could be heard over the stall walls. “When you flush, you don’t come back.”
“Where do they go?”
“Going is much less an act and more so an idea. If one were to go but stay, then where would they happen upon? That is the real question you should ask.”
“What the hell are you on about.”
“The metaphysical existence of the verb to go must be conjugated in the minds eye. Make use of words outside their sociological meanings and you will see exactly the going one must think before one can go, lest they already be gone.”
His massive duce dropped and the water splashed his bottom, followed by the sound of a powerful stream.
The homeless man continued. “For example, if I were to tell you that I couldn’t be told what to do, but then you told me not to do what you told me to do, I would be trapped in a state of both doing and not doing. This same logic applies to going and having gone. Do you see?”
Small droplets of urine could be heard as the liquid died down.
“The act of constantly becoming is one that many do not fully realize, as the act of realizing becomes the act of becoming in the process. The state of realization is but a fragment in the time spent becoming, lest one has become. If one has become, then one has died, for there is always more becoming for the living. To go is the act of going. Just as to become is the act of becoming.”
He wiped.
“When Shakespeare discussed being or not being, he actually was discussing going.”
He started pulling up his pants. He was on auto pilot.
“Baudrillard’s synthesis of simulation posits an entire speculative venerable ideation of the thesis of going.”
He wasn’t thinking, and he flushed.
The floor fell out from below him.
The homeless man laughed.
Advertisement
- In Serial24 Chapters
Game On!
Ichiroku who won a Monolith Capsule in a lottery found himself in a virtual reality that surpassed his imagination. Half-heartedly, he logged into the game and advance without knowing anything... Or that was what he thought...Author Note: Sorry for the bad grammar. I wrote most of the chapter in Japanese and translated it later on to english. There might be some inconsistency with past-present tense. WARNING! Contain Intense Cursing!
8 205 - In Serial45 Chapters
What if world is in TACTIC RPG mode (Tactical RPG World)
One fine day, lordol have a dream on preregistered of the certain event, on the next day, he suddenly noticed that his world took a drastic change. From its earlier peacefulness, he found himself in a world that seemed a dungeon with no escape, where everyone seeks for a safe zone, either by paying, stealing, or building one by using hunt materials earned through their fight for survival.
8 159 - In Serial62 Chapters
bad boy | jjk ✔️
A bad boy with a miserable reputation. A good girl with a haunting past.Yet they are more similar than they think.So, what happens when a bad boy and a broken girl come colliding?↳ disclaimer: i wrote this around the age of 12-13 , so it's a little.. cringe , but i really appreciate you for reading !!↳ highest ;#1 in maknae#1 in jjk#5 in jungkook#6 in bts#3 in fanfiction #7 in jeonjungkook
8 217 - In Serial34 Chapters
Oh Arceus, I'm a Pokemon! Now What?
Pokeballs have rules, and everybody, human and pokemon alike, know them; Pokeballs come in many types and colours. Some are good for using at night, others in the water, others are for bigger pokemon. Some catch pokemon better than others, or catch certain types of pokemon better than others. In every case though, there are things that pokeballs do and do not do. They're cheap, they're everywhere. Pokeballs can be resisted. They're never 100% successful. And they don't work on humans. Right? Right? Lux the eevee is in a bit of a pickle. She came into contact with a strange pokeball, and... that's where things started to go wrong. Now she's not quite sure who she is, what she is or where she's going. Oh Arceus, I'm a pokemon! But... now what? Updates weekly (so far). A not-so serious fun jaunt through the pokemon world.
8 148 - In Serial7 Chapters
How To Get Reads, Votes, and Comments - A Guide
How do I get more reads, votes, and comments?If you find yourself asking that question, then I have some answers for you. What can you do to reach out to readers and potential readers? How can you encourage readers to comment and vote? What are all the different ways you can promote your stories?This #1 ranking guide is written by a Wattpad ambassador and especially geared for new Wattpad authors. Lots of tips, advice, and personal opinions await you - including everything thing I've done to promote my own Watty's finalist and winning stories - but only if you turn the page.Reader testimonial by @AyushiPandey-- 'I read your guide for Wattpad success when I first started writing my story last year in August, and now it has been an entire year when I stumbled upon it again. I just have to say, I loved reading it again, it has the best tips one can find (take it from me, I have read many, many guides here). Thank you so much for taking out your time to compile such an amazing book!' Reader testimonial by @suspishfishy-- 'I have to thank you again! As soon as I wrote a book that focused on what I wanted to write, instantly people started to read my books and give me feedback!'**THIS IS NOT A PLACE TO ADVERTISE YOUR STORY. This is where you'll find detailed instructions for the proper places to advertise and find readers. If you ask people to read your story here, your comment will be removed.**Thanks to @EnjxiiBlxck for the cover.
8 164 - In Serial39 Chapters
Redeeming the Lost (A Comforter's Tale)
Life is always fun when you never get into trouble for causing mischief. Julie is a pro at keeping her packmates on their toes with her innocent fun. It's a perk of being a Comforter and never losing her puppy-like appearance. Admittedly, there are times when her skills are needed, and she takes her job quite seriously then.She isn't a fighter, but rather, is one who cares for others' hearts. A Comforter. After all, who doesn't want to hug a puppy? ---------------------What do most werewolf books have in common? They either focus on mates or on fighting. I decided to try a more unique route. No romance will be found here - this book focuses on the ties of friendship and hope.Thank you to Christine Leonardi from DeviantArt for the cover, and to @JimenaVivancoo for polishing it into an ebook cover!
8 143

