《BurgerPunk: Pizza Time》10. Don't Flush
Advertisement
Cross promotional advertising lined the eye level space of the windows he walked by. Half off burgers with proof of purchase of what can only be described as a small cheaply made plastic object meant for entertaining children for roughly five minutes before they get bored of it. Its name was near unpronounceable, but the advertisements tried their best to give life to the randomized string of letters. Even worse was that the recognition scan software used to monitor the people it viewed was only programmed to recognize general characteristics of the viewer. The private sector had everyone’s data, enough to know exactly who everyone was, but the issue was more the logistical cost benefit analysis of it. Why would a company waste billions of dollars to be minority report?
Instead, the software analyzed only what was Infront of it, which, when it was bought by government contract and installed across the nation’s federal buildings, no one asked a lawyer to review it. If they had, they would have known that this type of software was going to be bringing with it a whole world of endless civil rights litigation.
The government had basically bought a stereotype machine. That’s to put it lightly. The petitions filed in federal court called them Racist robots. The software would start speaking Mandarin to anyone that was seemingly asian. The software couldn’t tell the difference between any of them. Every white man that walked by was called sir and suggested they buy boating shoes. When the camera could actually recognize a black person, instead of it’s normal settings that made anyone darker than a bleached eggshell look like a shadow, it would begin advertising to them in Ebonics. Old people were shouted at with the speaker volume on max.
The subsequent class action lawsuits against the government were immense. Unlike most class action suits that people didn’t even realize they were a part of one, the racist robots were all anyone could talk about. By the end of the litigation, the national debt had tripled, but spending was on the rise. The vast majority of people didn’t so much work, but more, consumed endlessly due to their settlement government money. Not that this was nearly enough to do anything meaningful on, but it helped prevent an absolutely catastrophic meltdown of the economy for a little while.
Advertisement
The private sector didn’t stop using the racist robots. They only own the government. They aren’t actually the government. The distinction matters, legally.
When he walked into the park the sun was almost setting. People began gathering in the amphitheater. A few still in line getting a cola and hatdag after more than a few shots of Jame-o.
He looked around for Malcom and eventually found him after being near blinded by the incessant glow of the setting sun.
“I got us some good seats!”
“Thanks Malcom. Did you figure out what the movie was?”
“Naw dude, I just got drunk and ate half a dozen hatdags,” he said as he bit into another hatdag.
“Did you figure out who the ‘PaGRECOaRCftBoSaOSH’ are?”
“Oh, you mean the dudes in robes giving out the booze? Oh man, they know how to put on a party.”
“God damn it, I’m gonna’ go look around.”
“The movies about to start!” Malcom said as the projector flickered on.
Looking around the sterile grounds of a privately sponsored park was not the most inspirational view he had seen, but the fact that the color palette was mostly green, and the opaque grey of concrete gave his eyes a little rest.
The men in robes were all behind temporary tents, with hotplates and ice chests full of delicious goods being passed out the stragglers waiting for the movie. When he approached them to ask about the film, their responses seemed to present an idea of surprise instead of simply answering the damn question. He didn’t believe it was in his best interest to continue speaking to them, but he could tell that they were rather excited to get him to his seat.
In an attempt to fake out the staff he briskly walked to the parks built in restrooms which were surrounded by portable toilet boxes, each with a brightly glowing LED light of red or green signifying whether it was occupied or not. When he entered the restroom he was surprised, in the shallowest variation of the word, to find a homeless man picking at his skin into where a mirror should be but wasn’t. Small plastic screws lined the four corners of where a mirror had once been, but it appeared that the homeless man didn’t mind. Walking into a stall he found the lock mechanism to be on the rusty side of things and took both hands to lock. Without realizing it he had already pulled his pants down to poop.
Advertisement
“I wouldn’t suggest flushing if I were you, mister.”
He didn’t respond. He didn’t like talking to strangers while reliving himself.
“Flushing round these parts leads to unknown consequences.” The feint sound of popping pustules could be heard over the stall walls. “When you flush, you don’t come back.”
“Where do they go?”
“Going is much less an act and more so an idea. If one were to go but stay, then where would they happen upon? That is the real question you should ask.”
“What the hell are you on about.”
“The metaphysical existence of the verb to go must be conjugated in the minds eye. Make use of words outside their sociological meanings and you will see exactly the going one must think before one can go, lest they already be gone.”
His massive duce dropped and the water splashed his bottom, followed by the sound of a powerful stream.
The homeless man continued. “For example, if I were to tell you that I couldn’t be told what to do, but then you told me not to do what you told me to do, I would be trapped in a state of both doing and not doing. This same logic applies to going and having gone. Do you see?”
Small droplets of urine could be heard as the liquid died down.
“The act of constantly becoming is one that many do not fully realize, as the act of realizing becomes the act of becoming in the process. The state of realization is but a fragment in the time spent becoming, lest one has become. If one has become, then one has died, for there is always more becoming for the living. To go is the act of going. Just as to become is the act of becoming.”
He wiped.
“When Shakespeare discussed being or not being, he actually was discussing going.”
He started pulling up his pants. He was on auto pilot.
“Baudrillard’s synthesis of simulation posits an entire speculative venerable ideation of the thesis of going.”
He wasn’t thinking, and he flushed.
The floor fell out from below him.
The homeless man laughed.
Advertisement
- In Serial161 Chapters
Shini Yasui Kōshaku Reijō to Shichi-nin no Kikōshi
On one spring evening when I was eight years old, I, Erica, Duke of Aurelia’s daughter, realized something.Huh, I have reincarnated into a fantasy world, haven’t I?Moreover, it was the romance-fantasy girl game that had the reputation of being bloody, 『Liber Monstrorum ~Phantom Beasts and the Winter Princess~』The face reflected in the mirror was that of the villainess character of that game.After repeatedly harassing many characters, including the heroine, she would die without exception, signaling the beginning of an event called the bizarre incident. She was a villain who deserved to get the consequences!—I absolutely don’t want a destiny like that, though?No, for me who has remembered the memory of my previous life, there would be no such thing.In my previous life, I was harassed immensely by an irrationally angry yandere man who proclaimed ‘She is absolutely in love with me.’My cause of death, too, was from being stabbed by another yandere man who I only had talked with a few times……Now that I have become the haughty villainess Erica, I shouldn’t encounter more misunderstandings like with the previous life’s yandere men anymore, right……?In that case, it will be fine as long as I deal with the death flags that I may have raised myself.All right! First of all, before the bizarre incident begins at the Magic Academy, I will strike down the death flags accordingly!!—Or so I thought, but it seems that I am about to die.Eeh, how did this happen—!?
8 305 - In Serial33 Chapters
Neon
In a future where it never ceases to rain, Joel finds himself alone on the streets after curfew. How he got there is not clear, his memory is fragmented. Is it being rescued to find yourself in a sex club? Past, present, and future are interwoven, somehow there must be an answer? Perhaps, he is the answer? And what about the other boys? What about the planet? Is there a future?
8 141 - In Serial26 Chapters
Tales of Regventus Book Two: Keene
Max has claimed the title of king. As Ansel and Griffa work to prepare Max for the future, the powers in Aurumist continue on with their dangerous plans. Ansel struggles with his feelings for Griffa while trying to keep both Max and her safe. As Griffa goes through her own troubles, she has to decide if she will become who she was meant to be. The war for the kingdom hasn't begun, but the danger is growing. Book 2 of Tales of Regventus Series. See Book One: Adalwen first
8 175 - In Serial7 Chapters
Salvation through Dimensions
" Ah... I'm sorry my love. I can't save you in the end..." Leaving such teary parting words. The girl's mother dropped the bloody hand that was carresing her daughter's cheek. At least, she breathed her last in the loving arms of her miracle of a daughter. As for the girl... Her life was shattered and her fury was immesurable. Vying for the destruction of the world as a final gift for her mother, the girl unfolded her ashen wings. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When asked what do they feel about the endangered world, they replied: ' They deserved it, saved me the trouble of making another Flood.' A petite girl lying on a sofa, watching Tom and Jerry, replied. ' About damn time! I'm just glad I don't have to hit the reset button myself.' A tall girl, drinking whiskey in a nighclub, laughed that she escaped her responsibility. During the interview, they were asked whether or not they will intervene: ' Heaven/Hell no! If we did that then we won't even have a roof to call it home!' ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- System Login detected. Serial number: 31052000. User ID: To be decided. Detecting first-time login, connecting Serial number: 31052000 to--- *ERROR* *ERROR* *ERROR RESOLVED* Connecting Serial number: 31052000 to Admin. Connection established. " Hello there, Serial number: 31052000. On behalf of the Chief God's dimension, I hereby will be referred to as Admin sincerely welcome you! For you are now the newest Chief God's Avatar!" " Eh... I don't get it but thank you for your warm welcome, Admin." The girl bowed to the invisible Admin. " 100 Exchange points will be granted to Serial number: 31052000 for being very polite!" The Admin said with genuine glee. " Eh? I thank you again, I guess?" " 50 Exchange points will be granted to Serial number: 31052000 for being very polite again!" Again, the Admin felt very happy. " ... Is this ok?" The girl asked no one in particular. After all, she died with all those who knew her perished under her hands.
8 152 - In Serial41 Chapters
In the Dark of Night
Sixteen years ago, the royal family was slain in cold blood. The entire country of Radëgon was plunged into an age of chaos. Monsters and Beasts that feasted on humans and Fae alike awoke from deep slumbers. Yet one type of creature remained dormant, barely even spoken of in Selene's home village. Demons. She believed them to be tales until one attacks her home and slaughters everyone. Escaping into the nearby forest with only a surviving child and a horse, Selene has to face the terrors of the world on her own. A power is awoken within Selene during an encounter with a beautiful demon who tells her someone is behind all the misery she has ever felt. With the help of a man who seems to know more about her power than he says, she sets out to find the being who took away the only things she ever loved. Little does she know, she's the one he wants."She had heard stories of entire towns vanishing in one night. Rumors of demons being their cause spread through the country, striking fear in the hearts of peasants and all those who were helpless to the will of the Realm of the Dead. Yet no one ever believed them, demons were myths. Even if they weren't, they hadn't woken up on the day the world fell to chaos.Selene gripped the rusted nail in her hands tighter, her palms slick with sweat. She saw the monster's shadow under the door as it inspected it. Then, it swung open.Fear unlike anything Selene had ever know filled her as she beheld what had mutilated Gwendolyn.The demon stepped into the room."
8 268 - In Serial29 Chapters
My Boss, My Obsession (TTSPG Book Two.)
Danny is a self proclaimed bad boy that would sleep with anything that crawls. But his bad boy days might be over when he meets and tries to score with his new boss.Did he bite off more than he can chew or will he once more brag about his latest score?
8 215

