《Astoria》Marian's Dream Come True
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Marian, like a great many of us, was born into an unfortunate life.
While apparently healthy at birth, within a couple of years, it became obvious that something was wrong when her parents saw that the little baby girl couldn’t seem to learn to walk properly. Parents being parents, worry and excuses and hope mingled but nothing was done other than to believe that little Marian would get stronger as time passed. But when she turned three with no change, the toddler still only able to walk with help, they finally sought medical expertise.
Cerebral palsy, or CP, is still a somewhat mysterious condition. All that’s known, so far, is that some kind of brain injury or abnormality leads to various physical disabilities. Often, it affects one’s ability to move and maintain balance and posture due to a weakness or oddity in how muscles are formed and used.
Marian had spastic diplegia, where muscle stiffness in the legs and hip muscles caused her to have some difficulty. This was especially so for her at this age. As a toddler, her muscles had yet to grow much.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for cerebral palsy. There might have been, if humans had more intelligent priorities instead of wasting so much of our resources and effort on things like war, mass consumerism, tobacco and alcohol, and other wasteful pursuits. Sadly, people pour a lot more money into silly things rather than sound medical and scientific advancement or curing all the ailments we face. And so Marian was doomed to suffer.
She was lucky in that the CP was not more serious than it was. As she grew older, she grew strong enough to walk with only the help of a walker or cane. But her condition kept her out of sports and a great many ‘normal’ activities. This resulted in a great deal of loneliness and brought on tears and resentment for a body that wouldn’t do what other kids could do.
She sought refuge in stories; books and games became places where she could explore freely and do things that she could not do in her world. She fell in love with the adventures and exploits of countless fictional characters and longed to visit their more interesting worlds.
Her parents were definitely not the imaginative type, nor were they people of means. Her father was an unskilled plumber all-too-often out of work and her mother a freelance janitor always trying to pick up more jobs.
They were very much down-to-Earth folk who focused entirely on the here and now and were of practical natures. They didn’t share Marian’s love of fantasy. They, like too many adults, didn’t even read. It was only thanks to the local library that Marian was able to indulge her passion and imagination. It was only in other worlds that Marian was able to live freely.
While elementary school wasn’t so bad, in junior high and high school, the bullying began in earnest. When it wasn’t about her disability, it was about her geeky interests. The girls were the worst, actively finding ways to humiliate her and to undermine her self-esteem. Boys, well, they mostly just ignored her. Even after she’d begun to develop in ways that some of the other girls envied, the boys never took much interest in the ‘cripple’ at school.
As she aged into her late teens, her parents, always hard up for money, encouraged her to put aside her fantasy games and books and find part-time work, even with her condition. Or perhaps it was especially because of that.
Her relationship with her parents had long been rocky. They carried their own resentments, she was sure: embarrassment at having a disabled daughter; frustration that their daughter was a poor reflection of them; guilt and anger that they were somehow responsible, somehow inherent failures because they had produced a flawed child; resentment at having to pay for so many expensive medical bills and having to spend so much of their time caring for her special needs.
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Marian loved her parents. Or, she’d tried to, for a very long time. It had taken two decades for her heart to completely break as she came to understand, more and more, that they didn’t love her as much as they would have loved a ‘healthy’ child.
Perhaps because of the amount of time she spent in fictional worlds, Marian was something of a dreamer. If she resented anything, it was her family’s poor lot in life. Somehow, she understood that they would have been a happier family and her disability wouldn’t have been so much of an issue if they’d been wealthier and her parents were prouder of their lives. It didn’t help that neither of her parents seemed ambitious in the slightest. And this led to arguments.
“This is just how life is, Marian,” they had scolded her more than once in that resigned tone that meant they had long ago given up on their own dreams, if they’d ever had any to begin with. “You have to accept your lot in life. Stop dreaming of being rich or famous or successful. That’s not for the likes of us. We’re not smart enough or pretty enough or lucky enough. We’re just simple, hardworking folks. That’s what you’ll be too. Especially with your condition. Thinking you’ll one day have better is just setting yourself up for disappointment and hurt.”
She’d hated hearing that. Stop dreaming? She could barely walk. Dreaming was half her life. She dreamed of riding a horse. She dreamed of dragons and magic. She dreamed of finding great treasures and living a beautiful life. She dreamed of love and friends. She dreamed of not being a cripple. Lots of people’s dreams came true. Why should she have to accept that hers couldn’t?
She eventually found a job that she could do from home: write. Her CP prevented or made many careers difficult, especially when so few organizations were willing to make allowances for people like her. All-too-often, society tries to ignore those of us with disabilities, even though such people make up fifteen percent of the population. So she’d devoted herself to writing and to trying to make a living from it.
As soon as she’d found a measure of success, enough to support herself, she’d moved out. Her parents had praised her for becoming independent. Whether they’d been happier about her success or the fact that she would no longer be living with them, Marian couldn’t say for sure. But the relationship between her and her parents very quickly drifted apart as neither side made much effort to stay in touch.
One might think that so many years of raising a child, and one with more challenges than some, would have brought a loving family together, united in their struggle. Alas, the opposite seemed true. And while Marian briefly had hopes that a degree of physical separation might allow the family to heal and be happier, her parents seemed to have the attitude that, now that she’d moved out, their part in her life was finished and they could move on without her.
While Marian had found herself thriving on her own as an adult, it had to be said that, for anyone working primarily on computers and on the internet, one’s life is neither a mobile nor a social one. She became a bit of a homebody. It was just easier to live alone in her little apartment than to go out and do stuff when it took so long to get around on her own.
She socialized and did her best to make friends. It was hard and she still got rejected by many people, but she put herself out there. She did the same with dating but never had a relationship longer than a couple of months. Too many guys said they were fine with her condition but too creeped out after becoming intimate to continue much longer.
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She found herself making more friends online, especially in multi-player games. She’d really taken to MMOs where she was as free as anyone to live out her fantasy dreams and nothing held her back from an adventurous life. And online, nobody knew about her CP. She could pretend that she was normal. Usually.
Marian was, by any measure, a tough girl nowadays. She’d faced hardship and struggled through, over and over again. She wasn’t the sunny type, but she had strength. That didn’t mean that she was always fine, though. She had her own ups and downs. And it was on one low cycle, frustrated with the negative aspects of her life and loneliness, that she met Meg.
Meg was someone she’d met online. She was blue-skinned, the only avatar like it in the whole game, and a very easy-going and caring person. The two joined up for a quest and, from there, Marian and Meg had become fast online friends.
For a while, it had been wonderful. Meg was the kind of female friend that Marian had always wanted. And then trouble had come along. Which is where Marian found herself now.
“Where do you live?” Meg asked on voice chat as they played the game.
Marian told her. But the instant she’d heard the question, a seed of fear had taken root.
“Oh wow. How about I come visit?”
Marian paused. This was exactly what she was afraid of. “What, like in real life?”
“Yes!” Meg burst out, excited at the idea.
Meet Meg? In real life? The idea was appealing and scary both. Meg didn’t know that Marian was disabled. What if she saw that and was disappointed? What if she didn’t want to be friends after that? Marian felt herself clam up and had to clear her throat. “Uh, I’m not sure—“
Before she could even finish the sentence, golden light flooded her apartment. It was only a two-room affair: bedroom on one side and kitchen-dining table on the other with a half-wall separating them. As she very rarely had guests, her dining table was her office and gaming center at the same time.
She looked up from her chair and rapidly blinked as a blue woman appeared in her kitchen, wearing the same white corset and panties, thigh-high boots and arm gloves as Meg had been wearing in the game.
“M-m-meg?” Marian stammered.
Meg glanced around at the tiny space. Then her eyes alighted on Marian. “Hi!” She waved.
Blinking and astonished, Marian struggled to rise, having even more difficulty than normal with her condition because of the shock. She leaned heavily on the table. “Wha— How…how are you here?”
“Magic. Obviously.” She laughed. It sounded like bells ringing. Her head cocked and she moved closer, gliding as lithely as her avatar had in the game. “There’s something different about you. Are you ok?”
Marian felt a kick to her heart. Despite the evident concern in the other woman’s eyes, Marian was discouraged that her condition was the very first thing brought up. But she wasn’t one to avoid the truth. “I have cerebral palsy,” she openly explained. “I have difficulty using certain muscles in my legs and hips. It’s no big deal,” she defiantly insisted. Perhaps she was a bit on the defensive, both from the fact that someone had magically teleported into her room and because she didn’t want to be judged.
Meg gave her a sympathetic smile and then a warm hug. “It’s ok. I don’t mind. You don’t have to worry about what I think.”
The sentiment caught her off guard and Marian had to wipe away a sudden tear. She gently pushed the other woman away, breaking up the hug, and stared—up—into her eyes. “You’re as tall as your avatar!”
Another laugh. “Haven’t you realized yet that it’s not an avatar? This is me.”
“Wow. Um, actually, I think I need to sit down again.” She eased herself back into her chair. “Not because of my condition, but because this is impossible.”
“I get that a lot,” Meg freely admitted. She wandered about the kitchen and bedroom. “Cute place. I like the dragons.” She pointed to a shrine on one wall.
Marian tried not to blush. There were posters and figurines and books: all featuring dragons. It might come off as geeky to some people, seeing all that stuff there. “Thanks,” she replied. “It’s my favourite fantasy creature.”
Meg picked up a little pink dragon and inspected it, bringing it to her nose. “Cute! I know one who looks just like this in Heartstone. I should buy one and take it to her. She’d be tickled pinker than she already is.”
Mind. Blown. Ok, to be fair, she’d already been most of the way there after the teleportation thing, but… “Dragons are real?” she breathed.
“Not in this world. But in other worlds, sure.” She put the figure down.
“Meg, I— What are… Gah!” Her brain was going too fast in too many directions.
Meg chuckled and returned, kneeling in front of the chair and taking Marian’s hands in her own. “Sorry. Sometimes I forget the effect this has on people like you.” She looked into Marian’s eyes with deep-blue irises. “I’m what your people call a goddess. I’m able to do magic and travel between worlds. I can’t read minds and I don’t know everything. Can’t perform miracles. I’m a woman, like you.”
“You are not like me,” Marian countered.
“Because I have blue skin?”
“Because you can teleport! And live inside a video game, apparently. And who knows what else!”
Meg’s bubbling laughter filled the room again. “There is that.”
“So, dragons are real?” Marian asked again. “There are other worlds?”
“Yes and yes. Would you like to see one?” she teased.
“Yes. Hell yes. Can I?”
“Well, yes…” she admitted, somewhat reluctantly. “But it would mean going to another world. Dragons typically don’t travel to this one. Not in dragon form, anyway.”
“I could go to another world?” she gasped. It was as if all her most wonderful dreams were suddenly possible.
The blue goddess hesitated. “If I took you, then yes. But there’s no guarantee you could ever come back to this one.”
“I don’t care. I wanna go!” she announced.
“But, Marian, that would mean leaving everything—“
“That’s fine!” she interrupted. “I don’t mind. I can leave this world. No problem.” One of her legs twinged, bringing her back to reality. She looked down at her legs. “Oh. Right. I suppose going to some other world might be a bit difficult for me, huh? I don’t suppose there’s some place with magic that could fix me?”
“Maybe. Although, if it’s just the way your body has developed and not some kind of injury or illness, that’s a bit more challenging.” She looked conflicted. “Magic spells aren’t usually designed to deal with something like that.”
“That’s ok. I mean, even if I have the same struggles as here, I would be in a world with magic? And dragons?”
Meg shook her head. “You don’t actually want to meet a dragon. Not as a human. They would most likely eat you.” She chuckled at the disappointment on Marian’s face. “But magic and adventures could be had. Kind of like the game we were playing.”
“I want to go there.” In fact, she couldn’t remember wanting anything this badly in a while.
She gave Marian a sad smile. “Very well. Although, I’m a bit attached to this world at the moment. I’ve made commitments. I would have to come right back here. We might not see each other again for a long time.”
Marian looked down at the floor. “Oh. That’s sad. I mean, we’re friends, right?” Then her gaze tilted up and she felt uncertainty creep into her voice. “We are friends, aren’t we? Even though you’re…?”
“Of course we’re friends! I just have certain powers, I’m not some monster or soulless, heartless entity. I wasn’t pretending to like you; I do.”
Relief coursed through her. “Oh. Good. I like you too. And I’d hate to lose a friend.” She really wanted to go to a fantasy world but she did feel close to Meg, too and didn’t want to leave her behind.
A blue hand alighted on Marian’s shoulder. “I’ll try to come visit, when I can. And I’m sure you’ll make new friends there.”
“Where?”
Meg gave it some thought. “Hmm. How about Astoria? They have a magical system there that acts a lot like the games on this world. Don’t ask me how it was made but it’s like a magical computer system and it gives people levels and skills and stuff. I think it’s an easy world for people from this world to go to. Especially when they’re as much of a fantasy fan as you are.” One corner of her lips turned up.
“What kind of place is it? Like, advanced or medieval…?”
“It just finished the lowest point of a low cycle, after much of the world and various populations were destroyed—“
“What?”
“Don’t worry. That was thousands of years ago. The world is starting to grow and rebuild. I’d say it’s a bit like the medieval ages. But with magic. And various races. It’s a lot like the fantasy worlds in the books and movies here. So I think it’ll be an easy fit for you.”
Her heart pumped faster than normal; nerves. “Ok. I want to go. To Astoria.”
“Are you sure? Leave all this behind?”
“If you promise we’ll still be friends and I’ll get to see you again sometime.”
A beautiful smile parted those blue lips. “I promise.” Another warm hug followed.
Golden light filled her vision. Her stomach lurched and when the light faded, Marian squinted, a different place coming into view around her.
They were in a leafy, deciduous forest. She could see huts through the trees; perhaps some kind of village was just up ahead. The air was fresh and clean and she smelled grass and soil and heard insects buzzing. The world felt alive under her feet.
She had to hold onto Meg in order to stand. “Whoa. My legs are shaky. I should have brought my cane.”
Meg accepted the weight of her with easy grace. “It’s ok. Here, why don’t we choose a class. I have an idea.”
“Choose my class? How?”
“Think about it really hard. The system will recognize it.”
She did.
Welcome!
You have not been registered with MagicOS and no class has been detected.
Would you like to choose a class now?
“Oh!” she exclaimed. I can see words. And hear a voice in my head.”
“That’s the magical system.”
“How do I…ah.” She concentrated and [Yes] activated. “I can see a bunch of classes listed. Wow! You’re right; it’s just like a video game.”
“Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to do or become?” Meg asked. “Keep in mind, changing classes is a bit difficult here, if I recall correctly. I think you have to meet certain conditions or go somewhere special to do it? I’m not sure.”
“But I should pick something I’m going to enjoy for the foreseeable future. Got it.” She mentally scrolled through the list. There were so many options! How could she possibly choose just one?”
“If I might make a suggestion?” Meg tentatively inquired.
“Of course!”
The goddess explained. “Most classes can be taken by anyone. But I’ve seen certain classes which have a special element to them. For example, sorcerer. Sorceress, in your case. You can become a regular, human sorceress. But that class also has variations. Others might, too.”
“How do you mean?”
“A sorceress is a special kind of magic user. They’re…hmm, more powerful than other magic users, in some ways. Raw power, that is. They aren’t as good with complicated or detailed spellcasting. But they excel at destructive spells and those that need a lot of magic.”
“That sounds cool!” She was definitely drawn to the notion of having power.
“Some sorcerers gain extra power and abilities from an origin or an artifact. For example, some are part demon. Or,” she looked into Marian’s eyes. “Part dragon.”
Marian’s breath stopped; she was pretty sure that her whole brain had, for a second or three. “Wait. I could…become part dragon?”
Meg bowed her head, a sly smile on her lips. “Yes. If you chose to become a sorceress with dragon-human origins, the system would change your very biology at a genetic level.”
“Is that even possible?” Surely it was beyond imagining.
“The magic used to create the system is far superior to anything else in this world today. I’m pretty sure that deities helped build it.”
“So…what would that mean for me?” she asked, trying not to let her hopes spin wildly out of control and failing.
“It means there’s a chance that choosing such a class and origin might turn your legs to normal.” She held up a warning hand, cutting Marian off before she could speak. “It’s just a chance. Not a guarantee. I’m theorizing here. Your condition might carry over. And I would hate for you to have picked something like that class and be stuck with it when you don’t actually want it.”
Marian scoffed. “I’ll be able to cast magic and be part dragon. Who wouldn’t love that?”
Meg laughed. “Are you sure that’s what you want to pick? Take your time and look at your other options.”
She grudgingly acknowledged the wisdom in that advice. But after almost thirty minutes of scrolling through options and learning a bit about them, she told her friend, “Nothing catches my attention like the dragon sorceress. I can’t get it off my mind, no matter how many other classes there are to choose from. Though devilish belly dancer from hell does sound interesting. And dominatrix is also very tempting.” Having power and domination fantasies was probably no surprise for someone who’d spent so much of her life feeling weak.
“Go ahead then, if you’re sure,” Meg softly advised.
Marian held her breath. Being given so many choices at once was tough. Even if she’d only been offered the standard mage, fighter, thief options, she’d have picked mage. As cool as it would be to do physical stuff for the first time in her life, there was no guarantee that her legs could be altered by the magic system. And the idea of using magic was vastly more thrilling anyway.
She chose.
Class Accepted: [Sorceress]
Skill: [Fan of Flames]
A tingling spread through her legs, as if they’d fallen asleep. She winced as it worsened into pain.
Meg, still holding onto her, gripped more tightly, face creasing in worry. “What’s wrong?”
“Something’s happening.” The pain flowed through her. After a minute, it faded until only a ghost of it remained.
Very tentatively, scared that nothing had changed, Marian tried to move her left leg back, away from Meg, as if to step that way. And her leg moved in a way it never had before. She placed it down and stepped with the right.
“Marian…?” Meg asked with concern.
“I…” She choked up, fast. Marvelling, she moved side to side and then around in place. When she looked up at the blue woman, now standing on her own and without any awkwardness for the first time in her life, tears streamed down Marian’s cheeks. “I can walk. Normally.”
Meg threw her arms around Marian. “I’m so glad!”
Marian squeezed her back with all her strength. “Meg, you were wrong. You can perform miracles.”
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