《Esoteric Skeleton Dungeon Master》Chapter 23
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That was the beginning of my week of peace. No one came to the dungeon. No sign of Hiro no challenging demons. The demihumans were listening to that peasant guy about how plants work. Everything was running perfectly. “Lillia, if life is perfect then why am I so bored?”
“Bored like hungry bored or bored like….?”
“Bored as in empty.”
“I normally eat when I feel empty.”
I sigh and summon her some candy. It’s nice that’s she’s back to her cute self. She goes to walk away but turns back. “Maybe it’s because your life is a hedonic treadmill. You’ve reached a point where you don’t have to try not to die. Your life lacks meaning and your body is screaming out for a reason to justify its own existence. It’s a habit of humans. Now you must strive for meaning that is outside of the real of the Maslows hierarchy of needs.”
“Wow. I wish I had you back when I was alive. I might not have killed myself.”
She shrugs and takes her treats into the kitchen to eat them.
What is my purpose now? I have an unconquerable dungeon from all except Hiro, but Hiro is friendly as long as I keep him entertained. What would a basic bitch like him want to see in a dungeon? What have I not seen done in an isekai before? That’s where the problem lies. I read too many isekais. I know how they work, but as my art teacher once said. “There are no original ideas, but you can make something new out of combining two things.” I take that to mean that if I steal the chessboard scene from Harry Potter and put it into an isekai then It’s an original idea. I use the second room as the setup. It’s a chessboard on one side is my minions. Skeleton in a crown as the king. Skeleton in a dress as the queen. A skeleton in a latex horse mask as the knight. You get the pattern. The opposite side is played with the opposing party members on the opposite tiles. How many girls does Hiro’s harem have? He could probably fill a chest board by the next time I see him. To make sure that the people actually play the game I made the entry and exit doors airtight and bulky. The walls and doors are made of titanium. It’s in the store, but it’s under some stupid fantasy name, Mithril, John Reading Railroad Tolkein would roll in his grave if he saw how many people jacked his metal. Hiro would have to spend a few minutes to punch through it. Incase some invader doesn’t want to play the game I have rigged air jets to pour in nerve gas. Its a fitting challenge and it only took a few days to set up.
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After I set that up I felt empty again. There wasn’t anything for me to do. Hiro would visit soonish, but it only takes me a day to think up something to entertain him. That is the only threat to my well being. With that gone then I don’t have anything else to do. “Wanna go to the beach?” Lillia asks me,
“No, we already did that.”
“When?” She asks. It’s then I realize that we didn’t go to the beach. I just remember going to the beach. “Plus beach episodes are stupid. I need purpose I need a goal. Not fanservice and recreation.”
“Conquer all the dungeons?”
I shrug. I got most of them.
“Abduct more people into the village?”
I shrug again. “I already have enough money. I can buy literally any quantity of anything.”
“Candy?”
“Yes, candy.” I summon more candy for her.
Between bites, she keeps asking me questions. “What do other isekai protagonists do?”
“I don’t know. There’s a ton of people who say ‘I just want to live a normal life’ but they always do some amazing feat or show of their cheat ability while helping the church orphanage girl this causes them to be noticed. Then it snowballs into them being attacked by demons or recruited by the king. That snowballs farther until they are fighting demon lord."
“Well, can't do that anymore.”
Oh? When did that happen? “Did Hiro kill the demon lord?”
“No.”
I begin to panic. Is there another insanely powerful person? The Lord of all Demons was supposed to be incredibly strong. The second strongest person behind Hiro. Who defeated him? Is there someone as strong as Hiro who might pose a threat to myself?
“Lillia! I have found a purpose to live.”
“What is it?”
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“I’m going to go find out who killed the Demon Lord and when I find him, or her, I will recruit or destroy him.”
Lillia makes a weird face at me, but I ignore her. I don’t have time to worry about the emotions of a golem. My life is at stake.
What a shitty purpose in life, but at least I have one. To think that I can only feel like this when my life is on the line. Maybe that was the problem with my old modern life. My life felt meaningless because I wasn’t constantly about to die.
I adjust my latex mask and walk up to the guard. “Yes hello, fellow human I want to enter the town.” He scoffs at me. “Like I would fall for that!” He grabs my shoulder. “Where’s your card friend? Why does your face look so weird, friend? Did it get burned while you were out raiding villages? You filthy bandit!” I pause. Does he think I’m a bandit? I quickly summon a magic stone that can give me enough power to produce my card from my chest. “See I’m not a bandit.” He takes the card from my hands and looks it over. He mumbles as he reads it over. “Name: Anon. Level: 999” He looks up at me with wide eyes. By now I have realized my mistake. I was supposed to give him my fake ID but instead, in the confusion, I gave him my real ID. The ID that says I’m a skeleton. The line below my level is my race. He knows that I’m a monster he’s just planning out his attack. He looks down then looks back up to me. He hands me the card. “Sorry, had to triple check that my eyes didn’t deceive me.” I rotate one foot around. Preparing to turn and run. “It’s not every day that we get a max level person, besides Hiro and the Demon Lord you’re probably the only one.”
“Thanks?” Did he not see? Was my level so blinding large that he only focused on it? I mean. It makes sense. Why would he check the race on an ID when you can look at the person?
“Reckon the king would like to meet you, let me get the paperwork for you.” I nod and follow him in. “Oh, and if you could not mention me harassing you about being a bandit. You just look like a guy from a wanted poster.”
“No problem. I know how it is dude.” He smiles and hands me a summons to appear in front of the king.
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