SHE

I didn’t know why I took the fruit bowl he gave me, maybe because I felt too hungry? No, that wasn’t why, because staying without eating an entire day or so was something I did quite often. Maybe because I thought this would be a good opportunity to apologize to him for acting harsh? But once we started eating everything melted apart, nobody had to say sorry, I told him either ways just for the sake of it. Everything went like nothing ever happened.

That’s when I realized, this man in front of me knows everything; how to deal with women. Every action he pulled, every sentence, every word that spurted out of his mouth, everything came out really smoothly and it knew how to capture a woman’s attention. Now I wouldn’t know if it came out intentionally or unintentionally, anyways, it seemed quite apparent to me and I just went with it, like I knew nothing.

I think this is the problem that everyone points out in me; thinking about each and every movement as if it’s premediated, like everyone in the world acts against or in favor of me just because they want something. But what’s so wrong about being cautious? I don’t trust anyone and nobody ever gave me a reason to trust them, so without asking much I just go with the flow but I am just as curious. So to the ones close to me, I kill them with questions since I can’t stay without clarifying whatever it is. I lack what humans usually have, so asking questions is the only way I can balance in order to understand and not stand out.

This man made me do the same, made me terribly curious. I blurted out things; something that I only did with my close friends and family. This random stranger made me do things I never did before.

When I asked him about the attendant, whether it was for me, I knew I caught him in the act. I felt sorry for asking because he looked embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. I smiled and just finished it off with a ‘thank you’. That’s when he looked at me funny, not the way I felt uncomfortable, but it felt warm. He looked away at the same speed he looked at me. Was he blushing?!

Ahh….cute.

That’s when he looked at me again, this time he didn’t look away. Okay this made me embarrassed. I had to stop whatever this was.

‘I love coffee, so you did well, don’t worry’, I said somewhat fumbling.

He smiled at me and then looked away. Thank god.

‘I’m Aziel’ he said after a minute or so.

Lord, he told his name, now I've to reciprocate it or…………….. should I?

I smiled and just stayed silently. Aziel, a unique name it is. I like names that don’t make sense or which seem out of reality and Aziel was one such.

“What does it mean?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Ahh…about that, it’s a biblical name, so the meaning is a bit too much to handle.” he said. He was embarrassed; I could see it in his smile. His lips twitched sideways which made him look innocent, but I know I shouldn’t fall for it.

“I’ll try to handle it then, words and thoughts hold power, so you’re fortunate to have a meaning. I mean come to think of it, there are millions of names just put for the sake of it, so…” I said. Ugh, just made it more complicated didn’t I?

“Right. Umm… it means ‘power’ or ‘the person above is my strength’. But let’s go with the first meaning that I told” he said with his head down.

I giggled, “Yeah let’s go with that. There’s nothing wrong with the latter too, I mean it’s a bit extremist but ….yeah”.

“I’m assuming you’re not going to say yours….” “It’s alright though.” He remarked.

I just stayed silent. “I’m 21” I told.

He looked at me surprised. “Like your name?”

“Noooo silly” “My age.”

“Ahh… yes... Of course, my bad.” “You didn’t have to say anything about yourself.” He said.

Isn’t it weird though? I didn’t want to tell my name to him, the least I could give him was my age. I thought it revealing my age would be perfect, so neither does he know me nor does he not know me. The perfect balance…..I’ve turned crazy.

“I know. I just didn’t want to feel bad.” I told.

“Well should I tell my age then?” he asked to which I said “No! You’ll break the balance!!”

“Because I said my name and you had to say something?” he asked.

“Well….yes” I said.

He burst out laughing and I did too. He’s nothing but alluring……and perhaps fun.

“Well it’s my turn to ask now.” He said.

Red alert!!! “I’ll try my best to answer it” I replied.

“Your book, why do you cover it with a paper?” he asked.

“Umm…to make it less obvious? Other than that I don’t want people to see what I’m reading.” I said, I mean it is true.

“Ahh…” he said.

We spent the night like this. Knowing each other yet not knowing about each other at all. Darkness covered the entire sky. We stared at the sky endlessly.

“Do you like the sky?” he asked.

“What’s there not to like? Besides people like the clouds more, or just the changing colors more but what they fail to understand is the ugly side. I mean before the rain showers, have you noticed the sky? The soft blue sky is disturbed by another set of dark gray clouds which don’t even go well together. It’s funny isn’t it? People curse at the sky then; for raining too much or too little. That’s when I love the sky the best….at its worst” “Sorry I've been talking a lot haven’t I?” I said. It felt comforting.

“What you said…it’s beautiful” he said.

He said beautiful, the way he spoke……the time stopped then.