HE

Well….that was a pleasant conversation. I really felt sorry for initiating another conversation, but words just flowed and whatever happened just happened without a second thought. She’s extremely introverted and I pushed the boundaries.

I just tried to be nice I guess, but that cracked her.

I knew the consequences yet I asked her as collectedly as I could,

“Not even yourself?” to which she with an expression I could very well comprehend, replied, “Not even me, not EVEN me.”

She made me curious, like no woman ever got me. Was it the pain that I knew that I saw in her or was it just to make her talk, I don’t know. I still replied back to her,

“Well, that’s just sad.”

She looked at me painfully yet again, but regained herself just as fast back to her normal poker face, like that’s her shield, pretty yet hard to penetrate.

She turned towards the seat, like the conversation never happened and ignored whatever that took place just a few seconds before.

Aziel, shut up now. Don’t talk anymore. Besides, she looks like she could kill you…so stop it.

I lost my appetite. The lemon chicken and rice no longer looked appealing. I ended up throwing the entire thing. There goes my dinner.

It was hardly 20 minutes since the plane took off, am I supposed to travel in this silenced atmosphere? I don’t think I have any other option but to try.

I mean I want to say sorry to her, but how? That’s the question….the same old method?

I like flirting with women, like with boundaries obviously, yet there’s no person I have gotten ‘attracted’ to. Besides according to women’s standards, I’m quite often on the good-look books and I am. I’m quite tall, fairly well built and I like working out. I mean I know, thinking such about oneself is just purely narcissistic, but why not admit it to yourself before flaunting? What’s so wrong in that?

So being a workaholic is one side of mine, but the other side….you get it. I have had many meetings, be it workplace meetings or class reunion or spending time alone at bars, I find women approaching me, so whatever had to be done, everything just came my way. But this was different, I naturally knew it. Since she was the first one to reject my ‘courteous acts’, I’m just taken aback by it or I think that’s the case.

I mean out of all the women I’ve been with I haven’t physically initiated anything, neither did I want it from them. I just like flirting and, pushing and pulling, just to see how far they would go for me…in short I’m a jerk.

But here it felt different with her; I just felt drawn to her rather than playing with her; from the very moment I saw her. Therefore making up to her for whatever I did, I felt apologizing desperately, I just didn’t know how. The same old petty things I did with those women, I didn’t want to show it to her, in fact if we ever get to know, I never want her to find that side of mine….for as long as I can keep it from her.

Really? You’re thinking that far already Aziel? Focus on apologizing to her first and then do whatever it is.

I’m lost, really lost and I didn’t know what to say. I’ll keep quiet for now.

I tried sleeping, but couldn’t. I tried to listen to music but got bored of it. She was reading a book, typical, not prejudicing but she looked like she read. But the thing that surprised me was how she handled her books.

It was covered with what looked like an A4 writing paper in such a way we couldn’t see as to what she read. A unique one, she is.

30 minutes since the dinner got over and still I didn’t feel sleepy, that’s when I heard it. I thought it was my stomach that was rumbling, but it was hers! Aww. I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay. I wanted to smile at her, talk and know more about her. She looked around and met my eyes. Her stomach kept on rumbling and I could tell she was beyond embarrassed. She tried to cover it up by drinking water but it didn’t stop.

“Here, they’re fresh” handing out the fruit bowl that I bought before. I bought it for her, knowingly or unknowingly, I don’t know, I just felt like doing it for her. But I didn’t want to use it like bait with her, like I did with other women.

“I couldn’t” she replied.

“Don’t worry I bought them for you, seemed like you could get hungry, besides I’m hungry too, so we could share if you feel troubled for taking the whole thing” I told.

She didn’t seem convinced, I can only imagine that hunger defeated whatever she felt then.

“Thank you” she told me. Naturally I told, “Always.”

“There it is again, why do you reply with an always?” she asked ever so inquisitively. I liked it.

“Umm…I don’t normally use it, it just came out, just like that.” I said.

“Ahh….” She replied, like she understood why I said it when the truth is she didn’t.

We opened the bowl, kept it in 11(B) itself, as if the seat belonged to it.

“I’ll buy you breakfast” she spoke again. “Why?” I asked.

“Since I owe you for buying this and as an apology? For getting angry at you…” she suddenly looked down. Lord, is she even human?!

“I’m sorry to—”

Before I could even complete, she asked “But how come you knew I would get hungry?”

I wasted to laugh, but I held myself.

“I didn’t. I just figured you ‘might’, so…”

“Are you always this curious?” I asked her with a small laugh since I couldn’t hold myself anymore.

With a smile so embarrassed, she told, “Yes, I guess. I mean I cannot hold myself on not knowing whatever is in my mind, so I just word vomit.”

“Do you want coffee?” I asked.

“Was that why you asked the attendant? Whether you could order coffee later?” she asked. She caught me! I couldn’t do anything but questionably smile?

Come on!!! Where’s the confident Aziel??!! The one who constantly, without any hesitation whatsoever flirts with every woman you see?

But I couldn’t, I just couldn’t say anything. She was bewitching me and I know I shouldn’t fall for this.

“Thank you” she said again. But this time it was different, it was a smile I couldn’t see before. Her actual smile…she looked at me clearly in my eyes this time. I swear I felt like the time froze then and there. She was beautiful. Her face held no makeup; the only thing was the glaze of the fruits she ate on her lips. She was beautiful.

I had to cut away the contact because I felt my face going hot and flushed. I had to cut away the eye contact before she could devour me in her charms. I had to cut away……..but I couldn’t. I looked at her once again, she looked at me and this time I couldn’t look away.