From the outside, the house looked just as grand and beautiful as all the others around it. Of course, by now I knew better. I was aware that behind many of these perfect facades, people lived terrifying, disgusting lives. Behind the tinted windows lurked worlds of filth and dirt.

“You can do this.” I took a deep breath before I pressed the bell. After a few seconds, I pressed it again. I had seen Nate deal with tardy wards. The most important thing was to stay persistent and patient. At some point, even the most stubborn ones would give in to their own bell.

After the seventh ring, I was awarded with the door's buzz. I tried to go in, but my entry was denied by the pale hand of a girl. Sophie Rayne, I presumed.

If the girl I had met back in the Squalor was the goddess of the hunt, then Sophie might have been the goddess of death. Pale as the moonlight, the dark rings under her eyes spoke of her sleepless nights. Yet all they did was enhance those crystal clear eyes, like an expensive makeup. Her black clothes sat loose on her slim frame, as if they were hung out on a clothes rack to dry. Yet they gave her aura a comfortable laziness that invited me to stay over. Her words and actions, however, were far less inviting.

“What do you want? You're not the pizza guy, are you?” she asked while she rubbed her eyes with her arm leaned against the door frame.

“No, uhm...” I straightened my spine. “My name is Brayden Rovis. I work for the city's caretaker program. Ms. Rayne, would you kindly let me in so we can have a chat?”

“...you?” She looked me over and her eyes stopped at my chest. I had no delusions that she was fascinated by my skinny chest, so she must have noticed my badge.

“Well, technically I'm a trainee, but my colleague told me to handle the case myself.” Right after I had said it, I regretted my naive honesty.

“...right.” Suspicious eyes stared me down. I had already screwed up. Still, I could salvage this.

“If you have any qualms dealing with a trainee, I can call my superior right now and see if we can reschedule.” Most wards were lazy, easily bothered by distractions and lacked the energy to deny a friendly request. I was sure she wouldn't bother with rescheduling.

“No, it's fine. Come in.”

Killed with kindness, I thought before I followed my first ward into the house.

To my surprise, Sophie led me to her bedroom. Even more surprising, the room was just as tidy as the entire apartment. Over the past months, I had seen the insides of more houses than I ever had before my magic assessment. One thing I had realized was that the well-maintained Rovis mansion seemed to be the exception rather than the rule. Away from prying eyes and with no one to impress, many would give up on cleanliness.

“That's a nice room.”

“Thanks,” Sophie gave an offhand answer as she scrolled through some menu or site on her phone.

“...so what are you doing there?” I tried to kick start a conversation.

“Trying to read.” She gave me an annoyed glance, but soon returned her eyes to the phone.

“Ms. Rayne...”

“Sophie.”

“Sorry?”

“Sophie's fine.”

“Right, Sophie. Don't you think it would be easier on both of us if you focused on the task at hand? The sooner I'm done here, the sooner you can go back to your phone. Just give me five minutes of your time and you'll be rid of me.”

A deepening frown opposite an immovable smile, we stared at each other for a short eternity. I stayed strong until the girl turned off her phone, put it in her pocket and sat upright to face me.

“Alright, but you were wasting your time with the small talk. Let's get this over with. Go through your questions.”

“Of course.” Now it was my turn to look to my phone for answers. I had to go through my checklist one more time, just to make sure.

“How have you been for the last few months, Sophie?” Just like Nate, I started with familiarity. Even so, the girl seemed unimpressed.

“You know, asking like that kinda implies that we've met before.”

“Uhm...”

While I was still confused by her reaction, her lips pursed. 'Irritation' was what I read from her face.

“You asked me 'How have you been over the last few months'. That sentence implies we had contact a few months ago. Did we have contact a few months ago?”

“I...don't think so?” Intimidated, I glanced around the room, in search for answers.

“Then why... ah, whatever. I've been reading recently. Lazing around too. For the most part.”

“Thank you.” I nodded in relief and returned to my checklist. “And what about your studies? Ah, I asked the first question because it says here that you stopped going to college four months ago.”

“Not going.” With the same focus she had afforded her phone, the girl checked her nails.

“Looking at your attitude, it can't be because you're not confident, right? You seem smart enough, so college should be easy for you. Why not go then?” I tried compliments, but it seemed she didn't care about her own scholastic achievements.

“You're the expert, you guess.” The sarcasm was dripping off her lips.

“You don't feel like it. Or you think there's no point.” Finally, the girl looked up in surprise. For once I had hit the nail on the head. “Since nothing matters anyways, you figure you might as well do what's fun to you. So now you stay here and look for ways to spend your time. Your file says you've been diagnosed with depression. Lack of motivation is a pretty typical early symptom.”

“Well, you're half right,” she eyed me from the side. “It's not depression though. It's existential dread. I mean, who wouldn't feel that way? Have you looked outside? There isn't any point to the entire retarded system, is there? What are we even doing here, painting pictures and wasting our time with video games and shopping!? What’s the point? At this point, what are we!? Just... hamsters in a wheel, nothing more!” Bit by bit, Sophie talked herself into a rage, until she stood before me and shouted in my face.

“...what do you mean?” For many wards, the best first approach was to just let them talk. Oftentimes, all they needed was some human contact that didn't get filtered through a machine. That was why I went along with the girl's dangerous rant.

“Do you think anything we do here makes a difference in the end?” she pointed at her open window. “In the outer city I mean.”

“Of course it does.”

“Right.” Her snarl pearled off me. Over the past few school years, I had handled condescension on a daily basis. Despite my weak reaction, Sophie continued. “So what about all those people like me, the ones who waste away with nothing to do?”

“Not doing anything is your choice, not the City Council's. You could always continue your studies, you know? You've already been recommended for a productive job if you want it, so go do something of value. Work is good. It gives you a purpose and is much better than flipping through your phone by yourself.”

“And then what?” she narrowed her eyes and leaned down until our noses almost touched. “Be like you? With some cozy government job? That's no more productive than what I'm doing. What exactly is your purpose, in the grand scheme of things? You think you accomplish anything with your work?”

I tried to answer, but Sophie was immersed in her own line of thought and wouldn't let me get a single word in.

“You know what you are? You're a weeder. A pesticide. You're here to make sure the city doesn't fall apart. That's what you're taking care of, caretaker. Because that's all those guys at the top need, peace and quiet. Those faceless pricks hidden in their towers.”

Again she got up and stared out into the city. However, my eyes widened in horror.

“Shh. You want us to get into trouble?” I whispered

This time she didn't look back. Instead, she marched across the room and opened the window. Both hands firm on the windowsill, she shouted out in the open, “Fuck you, donkey fucking mage pricks!”

A radiant smile on her face, Sophie turned on her heels to see me curled up in my seat, with an especially dumb look on my face.

“Unlike you, I just have a pussy, rather than being one,” she declared, her hands in her hips.

“That's... you'll get in trouble,” I whispered.

“With whom? It's not like anyone has actually heard me just now. All the other windows are closed, all the time. Tell me, when was the last time you've seen more than three people walk on the same street?”

Right away my thoughts returned to the Squalor, to those crammed alleys full of life. But again, I couldn't formulate an answer before Sophie continued.

“Those guys or girls or whatever they are at the top of those damn towers don't care what we say, so long as we don't act. Actually, we're free to do what we want so long as it doesn't affect them. All they need from us is offspring. Our basic needs are taken care of and in return, they get to add to their numbers once a year. To them, the outer city must look like a farm. So what's the point of work then? What’s the point of anything, if giving birth is all I’m good for? Why would a common non-mage like me work hard if she can't change a thing?”

By now Sophie had taken a seat again, her hair ruffled by her own hand as she tried to find meaning where there was none. Fortunately, I had the answer she was looking for.

“Sophie, I think you're too focused on things you can't control. I don't think at any point in history has any single person had complete control. Even if it happened, how often could that have been? What makes us so special, to demand a protagonist's role? Plus, the city's hardly lifeless. There's plenty of places in Astralis bursting with life. Your entire argument is based on your own limited experience.”

“Right. Of course.” As soon as I tried to burst Sophie's bubble, she closed up again. Accompanied by an eye roll, she sat back down. This would be the moment Nate would give up, but I thought it was worth a try. If I could show her what human life looked like, she might just see the error of her ways. In my naivety, I thought a little push would be enough to cure her depression.

“You know the Squalor, right?” I asked. Eyebrows raised, the girl looked back up from her slump, which encouraged me to continue. “Why would the council allow that kinda place if they were trying to keep us quiet? It's the exact opposite of peace and order, isn't it?”

“...no normal person can even go there, so how would you know?”

“I've been there. I've seen the Squalor first hand. Part of the job.” I made no attempt to hide the pride in my voice.

“So what, you're gonna take me there?” she asked in a dry voice.

For a second, I was willing to agree. Confused by those soft looking lips and the sudden spark of life in those cold, pure eyes. But of course, I knew better. Duty was duty.

“No can do, Sophie. I've got to follow regulations too. And I don't wanna lose my position.”

“Even if your job doesn't matter?” she asked.

“It matters to me though. That’s the point, I think: To find your own meaning in life. Being a caretaker is my dream job. Talking with others. Listening to others. Helping people. That might not sound meaningful to you, but it does to me.”

“...right. I'm sorry. I apologize.” For a moment Sophie looked down, but then her head shot back into position. “You know, you say you wanna help people, but I sure as hell would be helped if I could go someplace to let off steam.” The philosopher from before had somehow turned into a sly cat. With her eyes beaming and a sly smile, she reminded me of my little sister. Just like Amy, she seemed to switch gears from one second to the next. In a panic, I decided to make my exit.

“Well, you seem to be healthy and active. Goodbye Miss Rayne,” I said as I got up.

“Woah, wait. Don't you have more questions? I'm depressed you know?” Even with my back turned, I could hear her grin through her voice.

“You seem quite cheerful to me. Have a nice evening.”

As fast as I could, I left the strange atmosphere. Before I knew it, I stood in front of the cab again. A look down on my phone and I saw Nate's message. It seemed like Mr. Oraya would be fine.

“That's good,” I sighed and sent back my report for Sophie. Another beep, Nate's reply had come right away.

'See, no reason to overdo things. Staying back is the best way to handle new wards. I'll take the bus home, so no need to take the cab all the way over. Just go home for the day. See ya tomorrow buddy.'

I looked back up, back at the cab. As I stared at my own face in the reflection, I could hear Nate speak his message out loud. 'No reason to overdo things.' A few steps and I had arrived at the trunk. Before I came back to my senses, I had slid the card over the indentation and opened the compartment in the back.

Deep in thought, I looked over the two orange security vests inside and then back up towards Sophie's apartment. This was my chance to prove myself, wasn't it? I might have fled the strange atmosphere of the apartment before, but despite her depression, the ward had responded to my care, hadn’t she? At least she had shown interest in leaving her apartment.

It might be a bit unconventional, but I had the chance to heal a ward in a single session. All I needed to do was to show her the Squalor. With how rational Sophie had been, she would understand the errors of her ways and return back to her studies, of that I was convinced. Then Nate would have to treat me like an adult as well. I had no choice. I would have to make sure my first solo ward would be a rousing success.