“You know, Sigweardiel was the one who told me about you, Gaalgha. I’d never even heard the name before. To me, all Humans were the same and it had never even crossed my mind using them as a source of energy. That would be like ... feeding of rats.” He had a sarcastic smile on his face that irked me up to a point. “Gaalgha, however, were Sigweardiel’s world and it was due to the things he told me that I decided to help him with Jonathan. Honestly, I just couldn’t believe the possibility of something so strange and yet so powerful existing, and that I’d never even heard about it. But then this war started and priorities had to be reversed. And, although the outcome doesn’t interest me in the slightest, I’m also not willing to allow some other Deiwos to come along and destroy me, just like that.

“When some of my Brothers gathered, forming an alliance to Seal me, Lea and Delnak were with me,” he said fiercely in a darker tone. “I did not have a way to break the Seal without causing massive destruction in the process. Having too much power has that inconvenience. It’s too complicated to control and dose it. And so I put Lea to sleep fearing what he might do after I was gone. Maybe I should have put them both to sleep. Delnak sacrificed his life in return for the key to my prison of darkness, and he must have printed it in your book. When you evoked me I was ... furious! But also tired and week after all that time lost in the darkness, trying not to lose sight of myself, of who I was, even though there was nothing to see or be on the other side. All I wanted was to recover my strength as soon as possible and leave to hunt down my dear Brothers. At that time I didn’t know how long it had passed, or that most of them had already been destroyed.

“When I saw you at my feet, small and terrified, I did not see you at all. I knew you were the one who had set me free. And I knew you were no Magic User — just a simple, insignificant Human. Sure I couldn’t understand how someone like that had been able to release me, but I really couldn’t care less. All I knew was that I had enough power to break the evocation’s Contract if I killed you quickly enough, before you could make any demands.”

He paused again to watch me closely, almost as if he feared the effects his words could have on me, but I sat still, unmoving, waiting for him to go on.

“But then ... you cried,” he whispered and hesitated for an instant. “In my fury I didn’t even notice how your tears glowed. Only when they burned me did I recall what Sigweardiel had told me — that Gaalgha hardly express human emotions and that their true emotions come from their Souls. Which means that, when they cry, it’s their Souls who cry. It would seem that their bodies are as pure as the Souls that inhabit them, their glowing tears even more so, to the point that no Shedim can touch them without suffering the consequences. In that precise moment I knew that your Soul rejected my presence and that, by imposing it, I was breaking your Soul piece by piece.”

“And that’s why you changed plans and decided not to kill me?” I managed to ask and he smiled, as if the fact that I was still able to speak had somehow relieved him. I still recalled his burned hands, especially after the incident in London.

“Honestly, I don’t know exactly why. I was completely prepared for a course of action and, in the next moment ... In the end I didn’t know what to do and, since killing you would be a rather permanent and irreversible choice, I decided I might as well keep you alive for the time being. And so I spared your life and used the Law to establish a new Contract.”

I laughed nervously and didn’t even dare raise a hand to pull away the strand of hair that had slid over my eyes. I was sure it would shake uncontrollably and I didn’t want to risk him noticing, certain that if he did he’d end up dropping the subject and leaving things as they were.

“Big mistake,” I joked and he smiled so naturally that my heart skipped a beat.

“Probably,” he conceded. “However, when I finally decided to try to understand what was keeping me from killing you, as it was my original plan, I found myself making up arguments that supported the value of keeping you alive. You were, after all, a Gaalgha, something that I hardly knew. Sigweardiel had told me about some of your gifts. He’d told me that there’s a source of light in your Souls and that that power will only truly activate when the Soul synchronizes with the more Human feelings. He told me that, once activated, they’d be even greater than Deiwos’ Magic, and I thought that maybe I could use that to gain some advantage in this war, since my own powers are too troublesome to control.

“Following this logic, if I were to kill you they’d never belong to me. Once I decided to spare your life, I thought that through our Contract I’d be able to attain what I wanted. The fact that your tears burned my skin was proof enough that you’d never been with a man, and we all know how Humans have their hearts connected to their bodies, and their Souls connected to their hearts. That’s how, over time, many Humans have been corrupted, and many of us have stolen Human Souls.”

I thanked the weak light of the day that painted the sky in tones of orange, yellow and purple, helping me disguise my embarrassment. Gabriel seemed unfazed as he went on.

“I thought that by having your inexperienced body I’d easily reach your heart and, from then, force my way into your Soul to steal the source of your light. Just as promised, I wasn’t going to steal your life, not even your Soul. I did consider the possibility that you might cease to be a Gaalgha, that you might recede in the scale of Human evolution, but that would only have meant you’d need to live a few more lives until you caught up again.”

I hugged my own arms, suddenly feeling cold. Gabriel was watching me in silence, his white skin becoming even paler as the world around us slowly plunged into darkness. The absence of an expression on his face froze me inside. And I knew that if I wasn’t able to recover from that he wouldn’t speak again.

“I would never ... have been the same ... again,” I managed to whisper and he remained serious.

“I know. Besides breaking you, you’d probably suffer as Stephanie did. There isn’t a Human able to withstand the touch of a Shedim without starting to desire him deeply. You can say that we’re almost like a drug.”

I dug my nails into my arms, making sure that, at least, I’d be able to sit there and listen. As hard as it was to hear those words in his soft, velvet voice, those were the answers to all the questions that had crossed my mind since that terrifying night. That was his truth.

“Still, at that point, that didn't mean anything to me,” he went on. “I wouldn’t be sticking around to see it, anyway. But then Michael appeared.”

The way he said his name was different from Alexander’s open, undisguised hatred, but somehow scarier.

“And you, near him, seemed to glow. I found myself asking how was that possible. Because your relationship was completely different from the other Human relationships that I’d observed. Besides, I knew you were a Gaalgha and that because of that you shouldn’t be able to express your feelings with such intensity. I wondered which part of you really loved him and, no matter how much I told myself that such things didn’t concern me, I was unable to simply ignore it, as I should have. Finally I came to the conclusion that your Soul somehow accepted the feelings of your heart regarding him, and so allowed you to manifest them.

“I realized that these were the only moments when you were truthful, and the empty expressions you gave me when you weren’t wallowing in terror started to ... annoy me,” he noted with an ice cold smile. “I’m not used to not getting what I want. Likewise, there’s nothing that I want that I’m not able to acquire. And I found myself wanting to see the truth in the gestures and expressions you gave me. And was only when I realized just how much that desire had became essential to me that I understood just how much I’d strayed from my true nature.”

The brief silence that surrounded us made me feel even more nervous. He was still watching me as disbelief washed over me. And the wave of happiness that his words brought me glued back together the small piece of me that he had broken just moments ago.

“I knew I’d end up doing something really stupid if I stayed. And so, when we went after Telane and my Brother, I decided to heed Sigweardiel’s constant warnings and rid myself of your presence.”

Pain again, even sharper than before, stole my breath away. All I had to do was recall that lost time to forget all other fears and doubts. Anything was better than that emptiness, than that silence from within.

“I was willing to extend our Contract indefinitely, until I found a way to dissolve it. I told myself I had enough power to ignore it, even if it were fulfilled, although the mere thought alone left me restless. I occupied my mind with other things, like the war and the possibility of victory, and tried to look away from your frail mortality to contemplate my obviously long life. I told myself that before I realized it a hundred years or so would have gone by, and by then you wouldn’t even exist in this world anymore.”

Since I’d talked to Jonathan, I’d been painfully aware of the time factor that would always keep us apart. But hearing it in his velvet voice was strangely distressing. He laughed lightly, almost as if mocking himself.

“In the end it didn’t even take me a month before I was back in your living room,” he said. “Of course, I immediately justified my presence with what had happened. It had all been an accident and I was there only because the Circle was there, and it would help me to heal faster. But, even so, I wished I could stay, even though I didn’t allow myself to wish it. And I was about to leave again when you asked me to stay.”

And he still sounded like he couldn’t believe it, I noticed, even after the numerous discussions we’d had about it.

“I could hardly contain my fury!” he continued. “After all the work I’d been through, after all the time it’d taken me to convince myself that I should allow you to live your life. But then, more than fulfilling your wish, I fulfilled mine. Sure, there are all those arguments and all those explanations about why you changed your mind. Sigweardiel tells me that you’re lonely, that in reality it’s not my presence that you wish for, but simply the presence of someone able to see you for who you really are. The truth is I don’t care. Besides my wish to stay, your Soul doesn’t break into pieces when I’m around anymore. And I’m still ... confused about why that simple, insignificant fact pleases me so much — that a mere Human Being is able to sit next to me.” He laughed again. “And so I couldn’t help losing my temper when all that disappeared just from hearing you talk to Michael on the phone. I reprimanded myself for allowing myself to forget, even if only for a few moments, just how unstable my mood can get, and how dangerous that instability can be. I decided I should keep my distance while telling myself I should leave like before and, at the same time, unable to throw away what little I’d been able to conquer.”

The deep flow that was his voice made another pause and I recalled just how much his attempts to avoid me had deeply annoyed me.

“But today ... today that Soul of yours, that rejected me so bluntly, rose in my defense. And although I tell myself that I don’t care for reasons, I can’t help wonder why ...”

I sat quietly and averted my gaze, disturbed by his constant observation. I asked myself if he expected an answer and tried to find something to tell him. Part of me wanted to be as honest as he’d been, but my dark, critical voice kept reminding me of just who we were.

* If you want to know more about this book or simply access earlier updates, please visit the official site at http://carpersanti.net/gaea/