“A little to the left – no, too far, scoot back this way a little. Stop! That’s perfect.”

“Are you sure about this?” Lidia skeptically questioned me. “I’m not a very good actress, you know.”

“You don’t have to be. Just stick to the script. We will start as soon as I get done tying myself up with this damn tape.”

“I’m not going to lie; this is kind of kinky.”

“Quit making me feel embarrassed,” I chuckled.

In only a few days’ time, Lidia and I had become good friends. In many ways, Lidia’s presence was comforting, especially after what had happened with Erin. She had a raunchy sense of humor, a naïve view of the world, and an open crush on me. It was fun to spend time with her, and it was even more awesome to have a new party member that I connected with so easily.

She also has wide hips. Perfect for birthing your heir.

Oh my God PAL. I blushed, I don’t think about her like that.

Yes, you do.

PAL, quit distracting me. I need to finish wrapping this tape around my face, and then I need to tie my right arm around this chair – and, wait…

“Is everything ok, Mr. alien? You are looking a little feverish.”

“Uh,“ I stuttered. “I was uh…just thinking that this is pretty kinky after all.”

“Hehehehehe,” she giggled. “It was your idea, you know.”

“Yeah, let’s just get this over with.” I quickly wrapped a strong piece of duct tape around my mouth, winding it around my neck a few times like a mummy. Then I wrapped my legs and right arm to my chair. Leaving only my left hand free.

I outstretched my free hand towards Lidia and cast a false impression on her. Instantly she changed. Gone were her brown eyes, silky black hair and tanned skin. They were replaced by heterochromatic blue and green eyes, curly orange hair, and pale white skin littered with freckles. She looked like the Wendy’s girl.

“Am I good to go?”

I nodded at her, hid my left hand behind my chair, and clicked the camcorder on using a small remote.

She released her hair from its tie, letting it fall at her side. With a scowl, she contorted her head to the right and stared coldly into the camcorder.

“My name is Beatrix, the Grand Commander of the Extraterrestrial Truthers Guild. At 0900 hours yesterday, our operator infiltrated Southwest Milwaukee Police Precinct #3 in a coordinated attack against the New World Order and its agents. We successfully secured Christopher Carthage, and are holding him in our base,” she turned the camera towards me.

I struggled and thrashed in my chair as the spotlight landed on me, trying to make myself seem as convincing of a hostage as possible.

Then she turned it back on herself.

“We know the truth. We know that Chris was born in Area 51, and that he is a human-grey alien hybrid that the government wants back under their yoke. The police were going to turn him over to the feds, but now he is ours, and we are prepared to sell him to the highest bidder – assuming that our conditions are met. Our number one condition is that you grant us amnesty and allow us to benefit from his alien powers. Everything else is negotiable.” She cackled maniacally.

“You can reach us through our untraceable dark web back channels. Just follow the digital breadcrumbs. We will be waiting.”

I clicked the camcorder off and gave Lidia a thumbs up. She did a good job. If social media was convinced I was an alien anyways, then I figured that I would use that to my advantage. I would become a cult figure, and cult figures make lots of money. I needed money.

I pointed my left hand at Lidia and undid her illusionary transformation, returning her to her normal self. Then I ripped off my tape – which hurt like hell.

“How did I do?” She asked me.

“That was pretty convincing, actually.” I told her, “If we are lucky, we might actually find an organization or nation who wants to buy me. If I keep leveling up, then I might be able to take them over.”

“Wow, this is crazy, I’m actually helping an alien take over the world,” Lidia bounced up and down with excitement, “and I get to manage your new empire’s social media page. How awesome is that!”

“Right…”, I wondered what role Lidia would actually play in the future IGC. She seemed much stronger than I initially believed her to be. She shot a man in cold blood and moved on like it was nothing, she saved me even though I was an alien, and she wasn’t a half-bad actress. Was just being some social media manager really a good use of her talents?

“You know, this reminds me of something,” I motioned her out of our cabin and into the breezy dusk air. “We still need to do your initiation ceremony. I promised PAL, after all.”

PAL had sent her ‘drones’ off into a nearby outbuilding to prepare the ceremony. The hunting cabin we were staying at had been built by my stepfather, and it was actually pretty well equipped. It had internet, a small workshop, and even its own shooting range. Plus, he had registered the land in his 2nd cousin’s name, which made it virtually untraceable to him. It was a perfect place to lay low for a little while.

“So what is this ceremony all about?” Lidia asked me.

“Heck if I should know.”

The blueprints are complete.

The blueprints for what?

For our enlistee's new VR implant. Now, all we need to do is make it.

PAL beamed a convoluted schematic into my vision. It was for a small microchip sized piece of metal, with all kinds of wires and electric channels jutting out of it.

“PAL!” I scolded her “How the heck am I supposed to make this? Have you forgotten that we have no money or resources?”

“Wait, what are you trying to make?” Lidia asked.

“A chip for your brain.”

“Lol. You are too funny.”

“I’m not kidding. But fortunately for you, I can’t just aim my hand at that leaf over there and transform it into anything I want.”

Skill Unlocked – Transmutation: Level 1

Ability Unlocked – Transmute Objects (Active)

This ability allows you to transmute a single non-living object a day into any other non-living object that you have seen or have knowledge about. Uses the entire balance of your biotic power points to activate, regardless of how much you have.

Lidia and I stared at the leaf in shock as it flittered into the air in a puff of red and blue vapor. It glowed intensely as it changed its shape and composition, becoming the tiny microchip that I saw in PAL’s blueprint.

I had a feeling this might happen if I pressed you enough.

“PAL, you jerk. I – I – I’m feeling…woozy.” I faceplanted into the hard Northwoods soil.

Don’t worry. I’ll charge you up.

A few moments later my energy came back to me. When I came to, I had a nice welt on my forehead courtesy of a plump stone sticking out of the dirt. If only I had activated my iron skin ability as I was falling. I needed to start thinking more strategically about my power use.

“There goes all those little blue spiders again.” Lidia walked behind me and followed their trail for a few dozen feet. “Wow, they went all the way to the outbuilding. Talk about crazy.”

Soon my drones will indwell your girlfriend as well.

“She’s not my girlfriend!” I growled.

“What was that?” Lidia shouted at me from the outbuilding.

“Nothing! Be there in a minute.”

“Ok.”

PAL, what the heck are you going to do to Lidia. Does she really need to put this implant into her head to join the IGC?

Yes. It will allow me to install a VR version of myself inside of her so that she too can access some of my basic powers and abilities.

Is it going to hurt her?

It depends on your definition of “hurt”.

PAL!

Fine, I’ll make the implantation as painless as possible.

“Lidia! Wait up.” I ran after her. “PAL says that we need to do this somewhere more picturesque then a dirty old shed. You will be the first new operative that I enlisted after all, so I would like this to be memorable. Lidia? Lidia, where are you?” The outbuilding was empty.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! What the hell is that?” Lidia suddenly shrieked. It sounded like her voice was coming from within the outbuilding, but where was she? A splatter noise jolted the building as I searched for her.

Admiral, there is something below us. Something hostile.

I scanned the room looking for a way downstairs. That’s when I saw it – a hole in the floor along the back of the dust-covered shed. She must have fallen through it.

“I’m coming Lidia.” I shouted down the hole in the rotten wood floor. “Hurry PAL! Send down some drones.”

A flood of PALs luminescent spiders crawled out from my pores and down into the hole, illuminating the subterranean chamber slightly.

Admiral. This is not good.

“What the fuck do you mean PAL?” I jumped down into the hole, landing in a puddle of warm water.

“What the heck is this? Why is it so wet down here?” I scrambled around in the dark, “Lidia, Lidia, are you down here? I’m here. Come towards my voice.”

This is not easy to tell you, Admiral, but I don’t think that Lidia is going to be able to come to you.

“Is she hurt!?” I shouted.

She’s dead.

“What? What are you talking about!?”

She’s dead, Admiral. Done in by Class A phase laser technology.

“Well hurry the crap up and put your drones inside her as you did with those police officers.”

I’m afraid that’s not going to be possible, Admiral.

“What do you mean?” My heartbeat was in a state of full-on tachycardia as I stumbled across the room, searching for a light switch. How could Lidia be dead? It was impossible. There was no way.

CLICK.

A cheap fluorescent light clicked on overhead, giving me my first look at the room.

“Where is she?” I frantically twisted and turned, left and right, looking for her. There was nothing but some dusty old computers, work tools and a pile of purple liquidous goo that seemed to be splattered across the room, and all over my clothes.

“PAL, what the hell is this goo?” I flicked some of it off of my sleeve and onto the floor. It smelled nauseating.

That goo is Lidia. I’m afraid that you landed right on top of her de-molecularized body.

I stared down at my goo covered body, and at the room around me. I couldn’t breathe or think. All I could do was stand there. What the hell kind of world was this? What the hell kind of reality show was I in? There is no way that any of this could be real.

I walked across the room and into the corner. It was there that a small laser-pen sized object pointed itself into the center of the room, right where Lidia and I had landed. It was clearly set there as a trap. I snatched the object off the wall and climbed out through the hole in the ceiling. I needed to take a shower and drink some rum. Yes, lots and lots of rum.

Admiral, I am detecting that your mental state is compromised. Perhaps you should rest.

“No, you worthless shit technology,” I fought back my desire to scream, “maybe it is you who is compromised. Some ultimate AI you are. You haven’t been any help at all.”

You have not yet integrated enough with my systems for me to function at an optimal level.

“Integrate, huh? Is that all I have to do? Very well then, let’s get to work. You can go ahead and change my primary mission objectives. I no longer plan on playing a long game. My conquest starts today.”