《Gratuitous Item Crafting and Descriptions (and shoddy economics)》Axe of Devastation and Intermittent Flatulence
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Jimmy feasted curtesy of his dad's new found wealth, before setting his mind to experiment with making an axe. "Should be fun, doesn't look too hard, might try and give though to what I want it to do, worked with the amulet a bit."
The forge was still rather hot, so it took but a few minutes to heat it up again, and his dad had decided to do all he could to make Jimmy continue to make him strange artifacts. He knew Jimmy would be the source of his success. So he did the bellows while Jimmy did his thing.
The haft was a simple case of carving hard-wood into a comfortable and long piece perfect for swinging with great leaverage. Jimmy farted a couple of times when holding it, but thought little of it. The Axe head was a lot more interesting.
Axes are a lot more brutal and less fine than swords, usually anyway, so Jimmy just grabbed a steel ingot and beat upon it, with intense focus devastation, damage, hacking, strength, but couldn't stop himself from folding the steel many times as he was wont to do.
Steadily the curved V of the head was formed. A sheen of blue and red along the tips was slowly evident. Raw power emanated from the blade, and the patterns Jimmy added to it made it very noticable. Repeated dousing and reheating and smacking and an offhanded adjustment to the butt of the head increased the clear violent utility of the Axe of Devastation and Intermittant Flatulence.
Jimmy's dad would later sell it to a barbarian warlord mercenary to the King for a tidy sum of gold and an extention to his smithery.
Gro'Abox the Mighty, wielder of the Axe was unstoppable in war. Every swing would rip through the air leaving steam, and foes would be rent no matter if they managed to block with a shield or parry. They would quite simply die, churned through like butter. Gro'Abox became a legend and his mercenary warband became filthy rich, slowly ending up far away in a bountyful land which had orks constantly attacking him for the good fight. Unfortunately, his regular farting meant that his many wives were reluctant to bed him,and his sons that he did were reluctant to spend much time with him, so as he eventually got to old to fight well, he did not have a properly trained son to take up the Axe of Devastating and Intermittant Flatulence, and his fiefdom was steadily frayed and overwhelmed by the ork hoards who did not have a proper challenge. Within a decade of his death his fiefdom was no more.
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