AN: Heads up, I will change the name of the months in Vetranos but nothing else about them. NOTHING ELSE.

Previously on 'To Remember...'

I stared blankly as the accounts of what just transpired played over in my head countless times. I say that but all I was were colors, colors, lightning, and fire then I heard noises. They were moving too fast for me to even see.

‘What does Mordred mean by he can’t protect me?!, has he even seen himself??’ I shrieked inwardly.

“Oi, Queen” came a voice very close to my ear. I nearly jumped off the building in surprise as I shot to my feet.

“Eh? What?” I turned to find the familiar looking face of Maddie but I knew it wasn’t her.

She sighed loudly, “I have been calling you for a while. What are you dreaming off?” he chided.

“Ah, that is----” I began.

“Well, forget that. What did you say a few moments ago?” he asked

“Hmm? What I said??” I brought my hands to my chin and stroked it like I had a beard, “Ah! I said you were a transvestite!”

Vodka’s eyebrows twitched and a muffled laughter was heard from Rene’s direction.

“Not that” He basically forced the words out of her clenched teeth.

(AN: Seeing as Vodka is a male in a female body, I will refer to him as a she/he. It depends on the perspective. Pls don’t get confused. However, if you do, I’ll chose a gender and call him only that)

“What did I say then? I don’t think I told you anything except that you were a----” I felt a hand cover my mouth as I was about to speak and Vodka’s yellowish-brown eyes glared at me daring me to say it again.

For some reason, I felt happy so I smiled at him, to which she responded with a scowl.

“Something about memories” he growled fiercely.

Mordred’s eyes widened and he flew quickly to me, “My Lady, they don’t need to know about that"

"Hmm?" At that sentence, Rene perked up.

'Ah, it is fine' I told Mordred inwardly, 'besides if I don't handle it well, we both might not survive, right?'

Mordred bit his lips and gave a nod before disappearing into thin air.

I looked up at Vodka and smiled, "I lost my memories"

Rene blinked a few times before bursting out into laughter, "Nice one" she chortled.

"I am serious, though..." I said softly and looked up at Vodka before deciding to stand up. I dusted my skirt and arms,

"Well, that's how it is so if you came to kill me for something I did then do it when I know and feel guilty. Wouldn't that benefit you too?" I asked Rene.

She looked at me in the eye, "How dare you talk so arrogantly! You ran away and left all of us to die!"

I narrowed my eyes, "I know I said I don't have my memories but from what I know, I am not a coward. So, what you just said right now is probably a misunderstanding" I stated flatly.

She grit her teeth, "You!"

"Calm down!" Vodka's voice boomed.

"But, big bro----"

"Just calm down. In the first place, if she didn't 'run away' like you said, she'd be dead. Shouldn't you be happy she's alive?"

'Big bro?!' I mused

"But... But... there is no way she is Our Majesty!"

"Tch, you and your infatuation" Vodka mumbled.

'Huh?' I wondered "infatuation with what?"

Vodka looked at me, “Hmm? What are you talking about?”

I blinked thrice in succession, ‘he’s avoiding the topic’ and I sighed.

“Why do you think I am not her?” I finally asked.

Rene looked at me then her eyes softened for a moment, “She’s strong, terrifying, demanding and caring”

“You just contradicted yourself” I stated flatly.

“But she’s just that!” Rene argued.

Mordred materialized and all of a sudden I felt weaker. He was shocked and caught me as I drowsily fell down.

“What happened?” I mumbled softly.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that you are unable to handle this much energy force seeping out” Mordred said apologetically.

Rene looked at bit frantic, “W-What happened??”

‘I thought she wanted to kill me’ I mused and glanced at Vodka’s face which held no emotion whatsoever. Like he was concealing something.

“I used her mana to heal my wounds when I was in the summoning room” Mordred said faintly and gripped my shoulders a bit stronger.

I willed myself to sit upright.

"Hmm?" I spoke groggily, “sorry, the usual me could handle this, right?”

“Your Majesty, I don’t mean it that way” Mordred protested.

I gave him a weak smile and looked at Vodka, “If I get my memories back, everything will be better, right?”

He seemed to think for a moment before giving a simple nod.

"Then, is there way I can get back to Vetranos?”

Vodka smiled, " Therre should be but why do you want to go back all of a sudden?"

"I have been wanting to go for a while. But I decided to hold back till I felt that I had the willpower to last"

"And you feel that you have it now?"

"No. I felt that I had it for a while now"

"Ho~"

"Yes, during the break, I saw a bit of my memories. I stabbed someone with a broken glass. I saw it and I didn't feel scared instead I felt calm. That's why I believe I am ready"

"You wanted to be fine with killing, first? To think this day would come when the Violet Goddess said something like that..." Rene said dumbfounded.

"Oh?" I smirked, "I thought you didn't believe I was her"

Rene gasped and turned away swiftly.

I chuckled.

"Hmm. And I guess seeing us, you think that since we came here, you can return with us, right?"

"Yea. If possible sooner than later" I nodded firmly.

I knew this people and I knew that Rene, although she acted like that truly did like me. Well, she liked me when I am fierce and strong.

"Eh?" Mordred said baffled.

I turned to him, "Yea. If I want to remember everything, staying here will take probably 20 years or so" and then I turned to face Rene, "but twenty years will be too much time right?"

She stared at me before saying, "What do you think?"

"It is too much time. There is probably something I need to be doing rather than attending school, right?"

Vodka let out a rare smile, "And here I thought you lost your perspective side. We only came her with our consciousness so to get you back..."

"Consciousness?" I asked.

"Yea. Our bodies are in Vetranos"

"Then let me move my consciousness over?" I said bluntly.

An eerie silence enveloped the place.

"Ah..." I scratched my head, "I forgot I am supposed to be dead. It's probably destroyed..."

"To get you back will take quite a while" Vodka said, looking at me with his eyes sofened and wearing a caring smile.

'This guy' I narrowed my eyes at his smile.

He seemed to realize something and immediately his face turned expressionless.

'My imagination...?' I pondered and looked at Mordred who looked deep in thought.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"In Vetranos, there is a lady who can trigger all your memories but..." Mordred began.

"Really?!" I asked surprised.

"Yes.." He replied hesitantly.

"Is it Marielle?" Came Rene's voice.

I turned to look at her to see a face scrunched up in disgust, "That old woman?!" She continued.

"Old?" I questioned, "Older than me?" I pointed to myself

Mordred and Rene's eyes widened and then they both burst into laughter.

"Wha---" I asked confused.

Ding dong ding dong

"Ah, the bell.." I mumbled.

"Hmm? then we should go" Rene stated standing up.

"Hey Mordred" I said softly. He was about to disappear but he stopped and stared at me.

"What?"

“I said I saw myself stabbing someone, right?” I continued.

“Yes?”

“It was somewhat of a lie” I smiled and stood up shakily.

Vodka’s eyebrows seemed to twitch.

“Well, I did stab someone,” I stated, “but the one who stabbed was a smaller version of me”

Mordred’s eyes widened.

“When did you know me, Mordred?” I asked quietly and moved forward.

“My Lady…” he said quietly.

I let out a smile, “I stabbed someone. As a child. Makes me wonder how I grew up” I continued walking, “And here I thought I was some royalty” I giggled.

Rene bit her lips as though sad and walked out. Mordred disappeared quietly. I look a step forward before finding Maddie’s face in front of me. I took a step back confused.

“What is it?” I asked baffled.

She looked into my eyes as though looking for something then let out a sad smile, “No, it’s nothing” He said and stepped back allowing me to pass.

I moved past the door quite confused about what just happened. The thought from before crept into my mind and I shook my head vigorously to refute the thought.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“One would think that a year would be enough for your feelings to disappear” came Mordred’s voice.

When he had left Agnes’ body, was a question left unanswered.

Vodka seemed shocked and turned back to see him, “Ah…”

“To think you of all people didn’t notice me” Mordred chuckled at the man's vulnerability

“It hasn’t been a year. It’s been two. She died the year before last on Sipge… no it’s not been fully two years, right?” Vodka said and leaned against the door.

“Well, Miss Elizabeth perished last Onrth. According to them here, it’s called January”

“You learnt?”

“After being with Her Majesty for so long, of course”

Vodka smiled, “I see”

“Yea. My Lady was in the void for 5 months. I had already thought she was dead then she called out to me on the first of Tibeth. I was beyond baffled. But do you think he noticed her presence? Since you two did?”

Vodka was silent, “Maybe” he said after a while.

“Then. She might not be safe….” Mordred trailed off.

“She makes decisions without caring about opinions just as usual” Vodka chuckled.

“Are you angry?”

“About what?”

“That she remembered him before you” Mordred smirked.

“She doesn’t remember him, and she doesn’t think much of me anyways” Vodka stopped leaning on the door and opened it.

“I think she already noticed” Mordred said softly.

“I have always been bad at hiding my feelings” Vodka scoffed and walked out.

Mordred looked up at the sky, “Nerphia, do something. He's trying too hard” he sighed and disappeared once again into thin air.

AN: a little time skip in the next chap~

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