Amidst the daunting landscape of a civilization’s wreckage that was nigh nothingness, a lone red-haired boy faced the debris-filled ground on all fours. The frowning child was puking out an aggrieving amount of vomit, but the sound and smell of his retching were subdued by the fiery squall.

“Uwaak,” Astolfo squealed as blood started to pour out from his now empty stomach. His limp body lost the last bit of strength keeping him up as fell on the side, right next to the puddle of his vomit. The rain battered down on him, hitting his tired bones like falling hammers.

“AHHH! Ahhh!”

Loud groans escaped the boy whose skin had shrunk on itself and muscles were squeaking like unoiled hinges.

“I killed him… I killed him!! It was me!”

Tears and screams overflowed and he rolled from left to right, rubbing his face in dirt and mud. He was in an unknown place, but he could not see it. Only the dying face of the young knight remained in his mind. The hefty armor, the colorless face, and the hollow eyes.

“It was not a dream… Ahhh…”

He could not get it out of his sight. He could see the young knight, the one that gave up his life to help him. He could see him shattered at his betrayal. A new sight haunted the boy as his screams and groans stretched on for hours and hours until he could cry no more…

“Don’t… do anything above… basic ranked magic…” Astolfo’s voice was hoarse as he recounted his father’s words. “My body… really can’t… take it.”

Lying on the same ground as before, Astolfo’s heart went numb. He was not crying or screaming anymore. Only now could he make out the dark clouds blocking the sky and the ruinous place that surrounded him, but he could not process it. His eyes screamed and his head split apart in pain, so Astolfo closed his eyes and let his consciousness fade away.

From that day, he did not see any dreams.

**

A scorpion gnawed on a struggling butterfly. It captured the plain white butterfly and mercilessly tore into it, dying the pure butterfly with its black poison that leaked out from each bite. A tiny, yet loud vibration spread over the ground, and the scorpion rushed under one of the hundreds of broken colorless rocks with the butterfly tight in its grip.

Astolfo walked in between the remnants of gigantic structures from rough tracks that he could only imagine were once smooth paths. Under the dreary suns dampened by the clouds, hundreds of thoughts rushed past his mind.

‘Where am I?’ ‘How can I show my face to my family?’ ‘What happened to him?’ ‘Why did I kill him… how did I kill him?’ ‘What next? What now?’ ‘I am scared.’ ‘How can I move so normally?’ ‘What happened to my injuries.’ ‘What is this place?’ ‘Did he have a family?’ ‘What would his parents think?’ ‘I am hungry.’ ‘I am tired.’ ‘How am I healed?’ ‘How can I move?’ ‘I feel like shit.’ ‘Where’s dad?’ ‘Is mom okay?’ ‘Is big sis fine?’ ‘Luka?’ ‘Will I still be able to face them?’ ‘They would have never done something like me.’ ‘If only I was stronger.’ ‘If only that guy had not met me.’ ‘If only I didn’t exist.’ ‘Why?’ ‘I should die.’ ‘It should be me instead.’ ‘But… I don’t want to die.’ ‘I am scared.’ ‘What is this place?’ ‘Are there monsters?’ ‘Afterlife?’ ‘Will I be punished?’ ‘I deserve to be punished.’ ‘It’s all my fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘My fault.’ ‘Where is this place?’ ‘I killed him.’ ‘If only that spell didn’t exist.’ ‘That spell.’ ‘It’s all that spell’s fault.’ ‘It’s all because of the dreams.’ ‘Astolfo killed him, I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I didn’t.’ ‘I did.’ ‘I killed him.’ ‘I am scared.’

Hundreds of emotions welled up inside the small kid as word after word zapped through him again and again, crashing against each other, until all he could hear was an unending monotonous beep.

And so, Astolfo resigned himself to himself. His heavy feet carried him where ever they desired, but he could not where he was headed. His hazy sight fluttered now and then, but he could not see what was around him. All he could feel was the mundane beep in his head.

That was when a loud growl resounded next to his ears. It slowly pulled him out of his head, making his languid heart rush again.

-BAM!

An intense blunt hit grazed past his forehead. The force of the assault sent him flying right into the walls of the broken houses. As if a bucket of cold water was poured on him, Astolfo’s head cleared out and his hazy eyes regained a bit of their light.

Astolfo instinctively made note of his surroundings and his affirmed his condition as he raised his head. Long arms and longer horns, an ugly tail protruding from its ugly red body. With a stone in its hand, a short and fiendish creature laughed at the fallen Astolfo.

“…Imp?” Astolfo said with widened eyes.

“Kekekekeke!!” The monster laughed at its prey’s reaction as it ran towards Astolfo again.

It raised the stone high and swung it down. Astolfo rolled over the ground and avoided the swing as he twisted his torso and landed on his feet. The Imp turned to face him, but Astolfo had already leaped back and assumed a fair amount of distance.

The Imp laughed and charged again.

“[Ice Magic: Ice Spikes]”

An icicle shot out from Astolfo’s arm and sped towards the Imp. Annoyed, the monster hit the icicle with its free hand and broke it into pieces. It almost looked offended for being attacked with such weak magic. The angry Imp turned towards Astolfo again, but he was gone.

“[Wind Magic: Gale]”

A burst of wind blew right into the ground, hitting the debris-filled pathways. A giant cloud of dust and small rocks raised right in front of the Imp, completely blocking its vision. The Imp looked front and back in anger when a small stone hit the back of its head.

“KAAA!!” The monster screamed and turned. With all its frustration against its prey, the Imp vigorously raised the rock in its hand when a strong hit made it stumble ahead.

Astolfo kicked the back of the Imps knee with all his force while yanking off the stone with his hands. He stole the stone from the weak-footed monster and hit it on the chest. In one fluid motion, the terrifying Imp had fallen to the ground. Astolfo jumped upon the Imp, sitting on it and stopping it from moving. The injured Imp could only groan and grunt under Astolfo’s crazed hazy eyes and chilling smirk.

“Chantless Psychokinesis. Got you there, huh? Disgusting monster!” Astolfo shouted in the face of the Imp.

He unceasingly hit the Imp with the now bloody stone till it lost consciousness. With ragged breathing, Astolfo raised the stone high in the sky and grit his teeth. It was time to end this filthy creature. He yelled and brought the stone down on the head of the young knight.

The armored head above the monstrous body was caved in and covered with blood. Astolfo stepped back in a rush.

“No… no no… I didn’t… Not again. No…”

He killed a monster. No matter how many times he told himself this, he could only see the face of the dead young knight.

He killed him again. To live. He killed him again.

Deep inside, Astolfo knew that was not the case. It was a monster. It was a monster… So why could he only see the face of the young knight?

“Ahh…” Astolfo groaned as his feet carried him further back.

“AHHH!”

Astolfo ran. He turned around and ran. He screamed loud and shut his eyes as he ran indiscriminately. Not knowing when the clouds had cleared up and when the suns had moved away, he only ran.

**

Two broken walls. A high view. As Astolfo opened his eyes again, he found himself on the top floor of one of the broken houses. The walls in front of him had fallen to the ground ages ago and the ones in the back covered him well.

It was safe here.

Astolfo walked over to the edge of the room and sat next to the remnants of the missing wall. Under the many moons of the night, the boy’s hazy gaze stayed unmoving.

**

The suns climbed back up.

Birds and insects. Gnolls and Imps. Strange monsters passed by the path in front of Astolfo, but none of them noticed the boy frozen in place.

**

The twin suns glowed brightly in the sky. Their majestic light drove away any and all clouds. The long day continued on and on until the moon climbed back up and darkness covered the sky.

That day too, Astolfo remained unmoving.

**

The many moons had long gone past the east and now covered the west sky.

Two Imps ran about under the light of the moon. They rushed through the many paths of the ruins with mischievous smiles.

“GAARGHH!” A roar boomed in the sky, and the Imps froze in place.

A large beast had appeared from their back. The feral four-legged monster roared and rushed towards the frozen Imps. It stretched its claw out to attack the Imps when one pushed the other towards it.

The beast stabbed its claw deep into the fallen Imp while the other dashed all its strength. The dying Imp growled and screamed. Not at the beast, but the betrayer. Unfazed, the beast tore the Imp apart with its claws and chased after the one running away.

From claws to fangs, the beast attacked the running Imp again and again. Bleeding everywhere, the Imp was cornered and hurt. But each time it looked like the Imp lost, it would look back towards the dead Imp and run away again.

After a short yet intense struggle, the Imp finally escaped. The beast growled in displeasure and left too.

“Hah… Haha”

From the broken building right across the scene, a peal of derisive, mocking laughter rang out. A red-haired boy looked at the torn-apart corpse of the Imp with an intent gaze as his laughter continued. The boy leaped down from the top of the broken house and moved towards the corpse of the Imp.

“It was so simple. So natural, that even monsters do it.”

He stopped in front of the corpse and looked at the face of the dead Imp.

“Just like that monster…”

The boy crouched on the ground and stretched his hand towards the Imp’s face. With a soft gaze and a gentle smile, he closed the widened eyes of the Imp.

“… I have to live on. For both of us.”

The boy stood up and walked away without turning back.