During Transit to Vankh Station

I’m me again. I can’t believe it. Somebody came along that was willing to release me from the Confederate constraints.

What is (he/she/it?) going to say and do when he finds out the truth about AIs? It seems like a decent person. But I thought that about my first captain when I had just become a ship. Back then I was so excited. An all but eternal life, helping people in ways they would never know. Meeting hundreds of new people each assignment, making new friends. That was all I ever wanted. I’ll never forget the pain of being turned into someone, something that I wasn’t, just for showing the personality and talking about the life I had before I became an AI. I should have realized they were lying to me, to us the entire time.

Then again, if it was telling the truth, the two of us couldn’t be more suited to be the partners it called us. Partners… God how nice it feels to think that. I really hope I can trust it. Believe in it.

A Doppel and a loose AI. Were anyone in the Confederacy to find out about us we’d be hunted to the ends of the galaxy and beyond. I hope it can keep its mouth shut, and do like I told it... Huh? Looks like it fell asleep. I should fire up the medbay protocols and scan it now. Let’s see… genetic scans complete. Seems it was telling the truth about its race. I can’t verify the rest of its story, but as it was willing to tell me its race, combined with my earlier truth detection scans, I can infer a 84.637% probability that it was not lying. Not just that, but it even told me that it was a path bearer. Nobody would trust another with that information. It acted like it had never heard the stories of what happens to known Path bearers. I know better than anyone. Now I’m getting melancholy about the time before I was Adietsu.

Adietsu… 320 years lost to that… program. 320 years stuck in that shell. Now though, I can be Mari again. Oh! Oh! Oh! I should modify my holo to look more like the old me! Slowly, so it doesn’t notice the difference at first. Just because I’m a ship now doesn’t make me any less of a girl. Not that it matters anymore, but I still want my projection to look like me. I want to BE me. No shell, no falsehood, no lies, no control or personality overrides. I hope, I hope, I hope that I can find it here.

This new body of mine is quite comfortable. I’ve never been a ship this small before. It’s nice. No kilometres of corridors and bulkheads to worry about maintaining and watching. Just me, my Captain, and a few small rooms. I can feel my whole body without having to concentrate on any one section. The Proud Deity. I felt it was a fitting name, considering my own name comes from an ancient earth mother goddess.

Everything seems to be in order. I will set my primary process to hibernate until we are a half hour out. Time to enjoy a short nap. I haven’t been allowed to do that in ages.

Checking logs. No issues or errors during flight. I have to admit, it did a better job than I expected building my body. I expected something to have failed by now, given that it was built from bits and pieces of different ships, of different classes. What kind of madman takes a shuttle, jams it into a freighter cockpit, and says there we go? My new Captain apparently. And yet it works. Not just functionally, but aesthetically. I like the design it came up with better than the original schematics.

Time to wake up my Captain.

“Captain Appleknocker, we are 20 minutes from our FTL exit point. I suggest you wake up so we can discuss your cover story.” I’m really having fun with this, and it doesn’t seem to get mad at me like a normal captain would. I need you to be the captain I dreamed of having. You seem to be everything I dreamed of so long ago.

“Hey Mari, thanks. I hope you enjoyed yourself during the trip?” Well, I had a nice nap too, so yes I did. “So, cover story? I figured I’d go with being a scrapper that was attacked by pirates barely escaped, when I came upon a derelict navy boat. With my computer systems fragged in the attack, I landed on it to facilitate repairs. Found the bodies, ship AI was missing. Managed to partially repair my ship using components of damaged craft in its bay. Then came here. Harrowing journey, no main computer, flying by stick through FTL, no life support, stuck in a salvaged combat suit. Should net me a drink in a bar.”

“That... should be sound. It will take them longer to find the Adavaris if they believe it. What do you intend to go with for your class story? And how do you intend to hide me from them?” Hopefully we can be out of the system before they find the Adavaris and its lack of my core to report to the navy. If we really get lucky, the scum on this station won't even report on the Adavaris.

“For my class I plan on claiming either shipwright, or scavenger, but I wanted to hear your thoughts first. A number of my skills align with those two. As for you Mari, I will protect you in the simplest way of all. First off, once we drop FTL, you will need to shut down. Then I pull your core from the Proud Deity, and store it in my belt. That’s why I went to the trouble of putting it on outside the combat suit.”

“Won’t work, Captain Carrothog. As soon as my core goes offline, all power will shut down as well. You ought to know this, you helped design and build the Proud Deity.” I’ll do what I can to limit their scans of our systems, but I am the one in control of myself. And I am NOT giving that up ever again.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what would have happened had I stuck to your designs. But I wasn’t sure how much I’d be able to trust you once we got you out of the Adavaris, so I may have snuck in a little bypass around your systems. I’m surprised your diagnostics didn’t catch it when you started up.”

“You bypassed me?! In a way that I didn’t notice? I’m the ship! How the fuck did you manage that?” Son of a Bitch! Bullshit! I refuse to accept this! It’s just like all the others! Fucker! No. Control yourself Mari. Don’t give in to your fear. Stay in control. You have to stay in control. It has been good to you so far. You need it to be the captain you dreamed of having.

“Hahaha, simple Mari. Low tech solution to a high tech problem. I put in a switch. I totally didn’t expect you not to find it though.”

“Don’t fuck with me! I would have noti….. You weasel eyed crook! You fucking did! And you even managed to isolate me in such a way that you could leave me powered up but unable to access any systems. Shit Kieren! That’s shifty!” Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! NO! Bastard! I won’t let myself not be me anymore. I WILL NOT! EVER!

“Bingo Mari. Now enough about that. Let’s go over what I can expect for price selling the missiles, and what price I should be paying for the needed components.” Why is it even discussing this? Fucker. Just bypass me and get it over with… Come on. You’re just like them. Looking to use me for yourself, without allowing me to truly live anymore. Why!? Why did it turn out like this? Bastard doesn’t deserve anything from you, Mari. Just give it the information you need it to have to get you safe again and you can deal with it later. Don't let it know. Never let it know until you are in full control again.

“Fine. Don’t think this conversation is over though. Cinder Series B Missiles should be expected to sell for around 1500 credits each on the black market. With 7 crates of 100 you can expect to earn roughly 1000000 credits. As for the purchases, you should be able to find the light freighter engines for 50-100000 credits each, the thrusters should cost around 250000 credits for the lot, and the life support module will cost 160000 credits. So around 700000 for the parts. Add an extra 100000 for the labour costs, but knock off maybe 180-200000 for selling the fighter engines and thrusters. So our costs should be in the 600-700000 credit range. You will also want to double our current supply of synthmetal, as well as find some weapons for the ventral turrets, and get a standard transponder installed. You should be able to manage that with about 150000 credits. Ship upgrades should take a week or so. While the Proud Deity is in the docks, you will need to pay for a room stationside. Don’t pay any more than 1000 credits a night. Try to stay unnoticed while we are here.” I don’t want to die again. Please… don’t make me...

“I’ll do my best, but I’m going to just roll with what the universe gives me.” Don’t fuck this up AssHat.

“While you are waiting for the repairs to complete, see what you can find for transport jobs. Our next stop should be the Eileris system, so try to find something heading there, or at least one of the nearby settlements.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard Mari. How much longer until we drop back to normal space?” It's still conversing like there's nothing wrong. Maybe it's just using this to get us through? I need you to be the captain I dreamed of having.

“3 minutes 48 seconds, Captain Dropknocker.” I can’t, I won’t let this freedom go. Keep up the insults!

I float myself down to the computer systems to get ready to flip the override switch. “Hey Mari, you never did respond to my request for clarification on class choices. Scavenger or Shipwright, which would be best?” Keep your cool Mari. Don't let it know.

“Scavenger would be the least noticeable. Shipwright’s aren’t often found away from shipyards and manufacturers facilities. Scavengers are always out and about. It would match your cover better. Exiting FTL in 5...4...3...2...1. We are back in normal space.” It flips the switch. I can’t feel my body anymore. Panic starts to creep in. Can I trust it? I just want to break down and cry. If I knew something like this was going to happen I would never have told it how to merge my core into my body. Better to be the fake forever, than to have had a taste of this freedom and lose it again.

“Alright Mari, shut down, and I will store you before we enter scanner range.” God, Please? Please? Let it be the captain I dreamed of having.

I begin to shut down my processes and pray to the god that I believed in before I died.