"So..." I absently stated, while lost in thought, "I can think of worse ways to die, than while playing a video game."

"There have been no documented fatalities, just the issues I spoke of before. But the consequences are nothing to underestimate. So far we've been lucky." She said.

I searched her face for any sign of deceit. If there was, she hid it well.

"Hey this is new technology, so what company is developing it? Like will it be the new P.s.s.4, or Ybox720, or is this the next ninjatendo, or Gamerscube2?" I cajoled, "I know its not the Ybox 360, cuz I got mine already, even though they don't come out till next month."

"This is a company that won't go public until the technology is released in the future." She informed.

"Oh, ok. secret, secret. Got-cha." I said playfully.

"Yes well, even with that iron clad NDA, I'm afraid there are still a few things I'm not at liberty to discuss." She explained.

"OK what kinda game, will I be testing?" I asked.

"We are testing 4 at the moment, unless the groups are full, you'll be able to pick any you like." She stated, "But first we shall negotiate your compensation and fill out the necessary paperwork."

"Hol' up," I let my 'hood' out at the startling news, "ahm- hmmm, I mean hold on, you guys are going to pay me to play games?"

"You were listening when I explained the risks right?! Because you signed the waiv-" She didn't finish.

"Well yeah I know, but again, I put my life at risk going to the grocery store. Hell I aint had bacon in 2 years, I'm too afraid the bus driver would mug me on my way home." I grinned, only half joking.

"Khm, hm. Well if your quite done, can we get on with it? You still have the Equip, and the tutorial also." She held back a chuckle and guided me to the door.

"Equip?" I inquired, as I followed.

-----

After some haggling and a ton of paperwork I found myself lying face down on what looked like a massage table, in a hospital style gown.

"Got damn I must be one hell of a negotiator, for y'all to toss in a massage. Can I get the one, where the girl walks on my back? I got arthritis n' shit." I spoke through the hole my face rested on.

"You're going to receive several conductive transdermal implants above your spine, and in the back of you're head." Ms Raven's voice sounded like it was coming through a speaker.

"YOUR GOING TO WHAT?!" Was the last thing I said before I felt light headed, and the lights faded to black. Again.

-----

"Boy... if I ever catch that mosquito, I'm fittin'ta-" My words partially slurred.

To someone who didn't know I'd been anesthetized twice today, I'd appear hung over. And to my friends, that sight was not exactly rare. I noticed I was wearing what looked like a wet suit. I wondered who had chaned my clothes and If i could ever get married now. It was form fitting, but not flattering. I rubbed my hand on the back of my head- and felt a knob.

"Holy surgical date rape Batguy, I know kung-fu." I said out loud.

"No. No you don't." said Raven, "Although you did appear to know the rear naked choke."

"I did grow up rough. I was tired of being a punching bag, so I learned a little of this, a little of that." I spoke to a blur, I assumed to be Ms Raven, "So, what did you do to me?"

"Dr Vock, put conductive transdermal implants in your body, or CTI's, so you can connect to the ManaGear. She had to put you under for the fine tuning, the attachment alone isn't so bad." She notified me.

"Doc. Vock, huh?" I processed, "Did she at least buy me dinner first?"

"That's why I'm here. Once you pick a game, You'll have the tutorial. And believe me, you never wanna dive on an empty stomach." She said in that silk and honey voice of hers.

"I usually skip tutorials, and figure things out on the fly, but 'ManaGear' and 'dive's'? I don't think I'll skip this." I confessed, "So where we going? Don't worry, Im a cheap date."

"To the cafeteria, Mr Jenkins, and this is not a date." She reprimanded.

"Please Ms Raven, call me Bruno." I said.

-----

After the cafeteria, I was sitting on the opposing side of Ms Ravens desk as she was going through 4 manilla folders. Each folder held some technical data, and a summary of each game. The first, and thinnest folder, contained a puzzle/trivia game. "Who don't know Jack." Not my first choice but not a bad back up plan for now. The second folder contained a sports game, definitely not my favorite. My dad played those on my P.s.s.1 and I guess they don't appeal for that reason. The third folder had a very tempting offer. An apocalyptic First Person Shooter, or FPS, called "Tears of War." I love FPS', But they don't love me. My brother Has the talent in that genre, and if he's playing seriously, I just get in his way. So although I enjoy them, probably not a good choice for me. The last, and thickest folder contained "Project Ego Trip" A fantasy RPG.

"This one, I'll take this one." I repeated myself in my excitement, "Just give me the premise with no spoilers!"

"The goal is to complete missions called quests that advance the game's plot, also features optional quests and allows players to pursue actions not directly tied to story completion." She read verbatim.

"Wow, your voice is so sexy, I'm not even mad at you... No worries, I'll find out for myself." I sighed.

She looked confused and stunned, at the abrupt statement. Before she could reply, I had already stood up and turned for the door. With all the legal requirements and choosing a game out of the way, not to mention making Ms Raven blush again (I think that's my new hobby) I was finally ready to become a 'Testing Engineer.' As I opened the door I came face to face with Dr.Klink accompanied by the gruesome twosome, Billy and Jimmy Lee.

"You're fired!" growled Dr.Klink

"You're a dick, Wait, ...What are we doing again?" I grinned.

"Ugh. outta my way." He tried to shoulder check me, but found my shoulder more solid than he expected.

Having failed at his intimidation maneuver, he was forced to slink by me. I stepped aside for the security guards, because I didn't expect the same results. What followed was some shouting, and a contest between Ms Raven and Dr Dick, to see who's "authority" was bigger. I spent this time, forming a close bond with Billy and Jimmy Lee.

"So you guys lift a lot of weights, or experiment with Gamma ray's, ...er what?" I asked my new friends.

Neither of them looked at me or replied to my question.

"Ok, good talk." I continued to amuse myself.

Dr. Dick must not have been packing nearly enough to match up to Ms Raven, because he went storming out and the two security guards followed after him.

"Should I stay or should I go now?" I sang, Ms Raven wasn't amused.

"You really should apologize to him, He's right to be angry!" She scolded. "You did take him hostage."

"How long are you guys gonna keep throwing that in my face?" I joked, "But seriously I plan to say something. Nothing I say at this moment is going to matter, He's gonna need some time before anything I say will have any impact."

"I guess you're right. If it was me..." She appeared lost in thought for a moment, then asked, "Not that I'm complaining, But why didn't you take me hostage? I was in the room with you when you woke up after all."

"I have better manners than to rough up a pretty lady." I lied, I'm an advocate for gender equality. The real reason was because she was far enough away that I thought the gun turret would cut me down first, Then I looked at her with a 'Devil's grin' and added, "Not without consent anyway."

Yeah this is definitely going to be my new hobby.

-----

I was deposited in the stainless steel room filled with consoles and scifi pods, by Major Raven Leibowitz, Personnel officer of the U.S. Air force, and the project's asst. Chief science officer, and genuine hottie. I was sitting in a folding chair, my back to the corner of the room while a few scientist's prepared the equipment for my first dive, and tutorial training. To say I was nervous was accurate. One of the nerd herd poked his head up from the console, and I seized the opportunity to take my mind off this tedious wait.

"So how does this whole thing work?" I asked.

"You'd have to understand the theoretical physics" He replied, simultaneously insulting my intelligence. "I don't have time to 'dumb it down' for you."

"I'm no stranger to theoretical physics, -oh wait... yes I am" I looked down at my feet, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"There are nano technologies installed in your implants, that send and receive energy to your central nervous system. It's dangerous, but we have a relatively high success rate." He said as his voice altered to a less confident tone for an instant as he said the word 'relatively'.

"Ah, got it." I replied, understanding the basic idea, but not the details. "So this energy, why didn't I learn about that in Mrs. "usually Stoned's" 11th grade biology class?"

"What?! ... uh well, the energy is a new scientific discovery. We don't know a lot about it, but what we have learned is makes a breakthrough like this possible." He said with pride.

"Yes I imagine all this," I gestured around the room, "Has great potential to help a lot of people. Also great potential to hurt a lot of people too probably."

"Well yeah ...I guess so, but we'd nev-" He started to say in a less confident tone, before being interrupted.

"Um, sir? We are ready for you now." Said the technician next to the fourth pod. "The first connection always seems to sting the tester's a bit, so please be prepared."

"Be gentle senpai." I giggled, guess he didn't get it.

The jokes didn't go over well with the nerd herd, But I blamed it on the kerfuffle earlier, taking a hostage usually dampers the mood, and not my brilliant material. "Yeah, I tell ya. I get no respect!" I did my best Dangerfield and this time actually got a chuckle.

"Ok Scotty beam me up." Even I grimaced, as one too many references showed the state of my nerves at this moment.

"Ok, relax. the connection will only take a moment, and there is another tester waiting for you to show you what to do."

"Ok, cool. I apprecia-..HOLY MUTHER, FUCK" I shouted.

I swear I heard uncontrollable laughter for a split second, (Damn nerd herd) before I found myself in a bright near-empty room. The only thing in the room was ......uh, a dead body?! Laying in the floor in the center of the room was a copse. What kind of sick hazing, were those nerd herd guys trying to pull here? The body seemed in excellent condition. I mean the guy was in ok shape, past tense, but I was referring to it seeming to be only recently deceased. While looking at the corpse, I noticed It open its eyes. Once the clouded cornea's settled on me, the corpse SAT UP in one motion and smiled.

"SWEET JUMPIN' JUMANJEE!" I screamed, in a high pitch voice, that from now on I will only refer to as a 'battlecry.'

"Wow, that's one girlish "battlecry" you got there. Hi I'm Ned." Ned introduced himself cheerfully and offered his hand.

"Uh...... hi?" I said reluctantly, as I cautiously shook Ned's hand, "Oh sweet mercy, its cold. The fuck are you?!"

"I'm a Test Engineer, like you. Oh you meant my avatar? My race is undead, Its a unique race, an upgrade of the Human type. There are 4 basic races and 4 upgraded unique races. I'm here to help you with the tutorial to set up your avatar." Ned smiled.

"Undead. Ned. Ok, ...Undead Ned, Gimme a second, let me see if I can pull up a status menu." I grunted out of clenched teeth and squinted eyes.

"What are you doing?" Ned asked.

"Im waiting for a status screen, or some shit, to just appear in my line of sight."

"Dude!" He exclaimed, "Are you on the crack?! Why would a status screen just appear in your line of sight?"

"I dunno" I paused as I realized how ridiculous I sounded. "I can't explain, I just really expected it to happen."

"You get a standard H.U.D. setup like everyone else" He informed me.

He told me to close my eyes and concentrate, and what looked like a pair of yellow lens glasses, and what im guessing was a futuristic palm pilot, materialized. The hand sized console had a large screen, and one button, with a tiny house symbol on it.

"When the fuck did I become Ne0 from the [email protected]?! Did you just hand me a m0torola and a some [email protected]?" I cried.

Ned let out a deep laugh, then began the tutorial, "You just summoned your Amended Visual Accessory, and Personal Access Console, ...Ok, now pay attention this is important."

Atleast that's what I think he said, I don't know, I had stopped paying attention. I fondled the impressive tech in my hands and decided not press the home button on the handheld device. I put my hand on the screen, and thumbprint prompt came up, so I applied my thumb accordingly and....

[Scan complete, registering player as administrator profile, welcome] the disembodied female voice came from a hologram projection of an 8 inch tall lady composed from swirling ones and zero's. It sounded sweet, yet mechanical, like a pop star with auto-tune.

"Oooh, a mini chick" I said, surprised by the random spawn. "Wassup mini chick?!"

I stuck my finger out to pet her head in a patronizing manner, and she bit me....wait! ...she Bit me?!

"OW, damn" I said, making a shocked face and checking my finger. There was nothing. no scratch, no red mark, nothing at all.

"How did you do that?" I asked questioning everything I know as reality.

[I am an AI connected to the tech that is linked with your central nervous system, I can stimulate your pain receptors at my leisure.] My new AI informed me.

"Well, ok mini-"

She glared digital daggers at me, so I immediately abridged my statement "... lady, little lady, LI-ttle LA-dy, ... Lila! Ok then Lila"

[Confirmed, designation Lila. Accepted.] she said in a soft tone.

"Feel free to call me Big Poppa" I said in a sarcastic tone.

[I'd rather be reformatted] She retorted.