He knows I'm back...If there was anyone I didn't want to know, it was Victor Kendall. I wrung my hands in my hair, pacing in the hospital room. Oliver dazed, he blinked at me with wide eyes. I really messed up. I shook my head. "I should've listened to you," I hissed. "I should've left...now he knows, and-"

"I need to tell you something," Oliver interrupted

"What?" I turned, my foot squeaking on the floor.

His shoulders heavy, he shrugged."It's important...it can't wait."

"Oliver...I don't understand."

His gaze scurried away from mine. "I thought I was imagining it...but now I'm not sure. With Murray gone, I-"

Footsteps stalled in the door. Oliver lifted his head, shutting his mouth. Gwen stopped in the doorway, a half grin under tired eyes. Oliver ducked his head down. What was he going to say?

Gwen waved at me, stepping inside. "Max told me you were alive, but it's good to see it for myself."

Oliver's secert will have to wait. "A little worse for wear, but I'm whole," I said, matching her smile. "I'm glad you're alright too."

"It's been quite a week." She crossed her arms, a robe like Oliver's. "What are you two up to?"

Oliver fidgeted, holding himself stiffly. I shrugged, lifting my hands. "Some research," I said, Oliver elbowing me. I glared at him. What's his deal? It's only Gwen.

She raised an eyebrow. Oliver spun, breaking out in a chuckle. "We're comparing the scraps they pass as food here." Does he not trust Gwen? I scrunched up my nose, giving him my best disproving eyes.

"Ok…" she mumbled, her frown as severe as mine. "Do we have a plan yet? Any word on Murray?" She leaned against the wall.

Oliver sighed, gripping the collar on his robe. "Still nothing, Murray's silent." He's fine being honest about that.

Gwen brushed her hair from her face, chewing on her lip. "I'm starting to get worried. He usually gives warning when he goes dark."

I turned my head, looking between them. "He's done this before?"

Oliver nodded, plunking down at the end of the bed. "Periodically, sometimes he'll disappear for months."

"That was once...and he told me he was leaving," Gwen muttered, her frown etched on her brow. The light from the window shone off the floor.

Oliver snorted, a chuckle breaking free. "He did now, huh. That's not what you said at the time."

Gwen took a step back, her posture going stiff. "He told me not to tell anyone. Don't take it personally, he's known me the longest."

Oliver howled, "Ya, sure, Gwen, that's why."

She snarled at him, a toothy sneer. "Don't you dare suggest-"

Oliver swallowed a gulp, he waved his hands. "I take it back, okay."

I stepped forward. "Do we think someone has him? Anyone see where he went after Lattice?"

Gwen took a deep breath. "I don't know exactly, he was the first to leave...do you think he saw this coming?"

"I don't know," I said, shaking away doubt. "But either way, we can't wait for him. We have to make our own plan, strike Vitriol-"

"Phyn," Oliver warned, that same suspicious glare returned to his face.

Gwen straightened her posture. "What is it, Dr. Strong, you're going to be suspicious of me after all these years?" Her eyes narrowed, asking him to admit it.

Oliver shut his eyes. "Someone had to know we were going there-"

Gwen scoffed, "Loads of people knew. For goodness sake, there was a council meeting."

Oliver tilted his head, his expression strained. "They also knew where our rooms were, that they had to strike the first day...that leaves our core team." Guilt flashed in his eyes.

"Or Alister," Gwen hissed, her fist tight. "He knew that too."

"But he didn't kidnap Phyn, now did he?" Oliver raised a snicker.

"Enough," I growled, slamming a fist in my palm. "We don't know if there's a spy...and it doesn't matter if there is." Still my intuition is screaming.

Gwen raised her eyebrows. "How do you figure that?"

I took a deep breath, doubt crawling back for me. "I have a plan and I'll keep it to myself." More of a vague death wish. I straightened my shoulders, moving towards the door. "If I need any help I'll let you know."

"Phyn," Oliver started.

"Like you said, we can't take chances." I've learned that hard way. Oliver shut his mouth, both he and Gwen scowling at me. I rolled my eyes. "I will tell you when I can."

Gwen gave a nod, softening her glare. "Ok, that's fair."

"Alright…." Oliver sighed, his posture tensing. "But where are you going?"

Right...he was going to tell me something.

"I have to check back at the room. I didn't tell anyone I left," I said, scratching my head. "I'll come back later, and say hi." I waved, stepping for the doorway. He didn't want to talk in front of Gwen anyway. If it really was that important, he would've told me right away.

Oliver nodded, as I fled the room. My steps slowed as I followed down the hall. Checking over my shoulder, I made a beeline to the nurses station.

No one behind the counter, I squinted at the patient board. Third row down, there was a name starting with L. I memorized the room number, turning back. I want to see him for myself.

Following the numbers, I ducked past Oliver's room. No one needs to know what I suspect, I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong. The number on the wall matched my memory. Tiptoeing inside, I stopped in my tracks.

A punch to my gut I wasn't ready for. His eyes shut, hair messed up, hooked up to all sorts of machines. A steady beat on the monitor, Lewis was as pale as a ghost. He looks too peaceful.

I wandered into the room, pulling a chair with me. I settled at his bedside, a face free of remorse. I sighed, leaning on the armrest. "We've always gotten along, haven't we?" Lazy clouds drifted over the sun, a tiny window to the outside world. Light dimmed, I shrunk in the seat. "I may go as far as to say we're friends...so tell me why? Why did you betray us?"

His face stayed unmoving, silent. Stupid to expect him to respond. I fixed the sleeves on my jacket, frowning at him. "If I call your family, they're going to tell me that your grandpa's not dead, or that you already knew, huh?"

He breathed easy, I moved my hair behind my ears. "That was clever, no one was going to ask questions after that," I muttered. Birds chirping through the glass, the sunlight returned. "Lewis...I don't think you betrayed Avarice...just us." I took a breath, scuffing my shoes on the floor. "I don't know why you did it, I'm open to explanations." Something bleak in the air, I shivered. "No use denying it, you gave yourself up." I leaned back, staring at the white speckled ceiling. "You know too much about the experiments... I can't imagine Murray telling you all that."

I shivered again, closing my eyes. "Truthfully it was your face that convinced me, you were the only one who wasn't surprised, just guilty….like you knew what was coming." I gripped the edge of my chair, pushing back a wave of rage. Bitter betrayal turned my stomach, twisting knots.

"Is this their way of keeping you quiet?" I breathed, anger seething in my voice. Anger at him, the blank faces against us...at Murray for leaving at a time like this. Not that it's fair to blame him. I pursed my lips, resting my head back. "Your secret's safe with me...when you wake up...if you do," I mumbled, anger flipping like a page. "Brian's taking the fall, but you don't work for him...now do you?"

His chest rose and fell, a gentle beep in the background. Steady, like his serene expression, "I'm missing something," I hummed. "Something right in front of my face." Tapping the edge of the chair, I sighed. "This conversation is very one-sided."

I stood up, sliding back the chair. "I hope we can talk better later." My heart stirred in my chest. I've lost too many people. Traitor or not, he's still my friend. I turned back in the doorway. "Get better, Lewis. You never know...we might just need your help to save the world." I gave a weak smile, slipping out.

Walking down the hall, I fought a strange desire to cry. Shivers down my spine, I took a shaky breath. Losing a traitor is even too much. Wren's face flashed in mind, even that traitor. I moved my eyes up to the ceiling, an ache in each step. People are complicated...I may never understand.

I ducked around the corner, searching for the hidden elevator. I clicked the button, staring at the glow. What's important now is to figure out who my real enemy is. The list burned in my jacket pocket. No matter what Oliver thinks, it's worth a shot.

The door sliding open, I stepped inside. With Murray gone, I need a strategist. Someone who understands what we're really up against, preferably not someone in government. I also wouldn't mind getting my maps back.

So it's settled. The door closed, elevator rising. I fidgeted, stealing a breath. Now Oliver also knows I'm from the past, and with my face on display in archive B...I have to assume someone else does. My life depends on it, because I've already been careless. Failure hung like a weight around my neck. I'm naive, to think I can really fix this. I can't even win with destiny on my side.

Anger boiling in my gut, I clenched my fists. What was destiny anyway but paper thin threats of doom or glory? I don't want it, I don't need it. What I really want is to live in spite of it. Face my failure...even if I don't know how.

How do you face Failure with your head held high?

I swallowed a lump in my throat, my heart crashing against the waves of my guilt. If I could figure out what went wrong, what happened- I wrung my hands. None of that mattered. I can't go back. The elevator slid open, I pushed out into the hall. Gathering a breath as I marched down the rows of black doors. I can't think about what I've lost. It will slow me down, cloud my judgment. I can only move forward. Following the carpet, I found the door, slipping back inside.

The room was dark. I blinked, disoriented, tiptoeing inside. I didn't leave it like this. I squinted at the slivers of light, the blinds drawn. Did someone come back? The door slowly creaked shut. I looked over my shoulder, No one behind me. I took a breath, inching forward. A creak of the floor sent my head turning. "Speak up, unless you want to get shot," I growled. An empty threat, but not like they can tell in this dark.

Stumbling over a stool, the figure stepped around me. I turned my head. "Who are you, " I hissed. A snicker like a thousand knives sent my brain screaming. No, it can't be. I fell back, reaching for more ground. I fought for space between me and the horrific silhouette towering over me. Freakish broad shoulders, draped in a cloak of a thousand feathers.

"Five years surely is not long enough to forget…" the voice squawked. I can't breathe. My heart heavy in my ears, trembling beneath his shadow. Merle turned his beak curved head. "You were braver as a child."

I cowered, paralyzed on the floor...except I wasn't. My lungs were free, no stiffness in the air. He isn't real, this isn't real. Harder to convince myself against the terror in my heart. I slowly rose to my feet, pulling my arms close. "I'm not afraid of you," I growled, my voice shaking. Another evil snicker, I shrunk back. The shadows seemed to grow, something moving behind me. Merle isn't real...but the shadow-man is. I stopped, the realization clicked. He's here for me.

I bolted straight for Merle, leaping up over the couch. I slid off the cushion, ramming into the coffee table. Ouch. My leg throbbed, the pain shooting. I struggled to stand.

With a swoosh of his cloak, Merle turned. A shadowy figure stood behind him. I'm not being taken again! I'm not going anywhere! A lighter on the table. My mind spun with a terrible idea. I snatched the fire starter, lifting up a blanket from the couch.

"There's no escaping," Merle laughed. I took another step back. His beak curved in a sneer. "I'll kill you like the rest of them, slit open your throat-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, my voice breaking. Images flashed in my head, faces of those I've known...bleeding out on the floor. Terror still caught in their eyes. I gagged, fear creeping back in. I can't let him get to me. I flicked on the lighter, a steady flame in my grasp. The shadow-man tilted his head, confusion etched on his brow. Get ready to burn. I swished the blanket out, throwing the open flame on it. Fire building quickly, I held on to the edges. My heartbeat in my head, I let out a cackle. The flaming blanket vanished from my hands. The light was gone, spots in my vision. In a brilliant flash, the fire blanket reappeared over the shadow-man's head. He squealed, the fire over his arms. He threw off the blanket, stumbling away.

Merle warped away. Light broke through the blinds, bleeding into the room. I took a sigh of relief. The fire flickered, building from the blanket. Oh no. I ran around the couch, the intruder scurrying out the door. The flames gave an angry crackle, spreading across the floor. What have I done…

The smoke alarm blaring, the sound rattled my ears. I have to fix this. I stumbled into the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards. I pulled out a giant bowl. I turned the tap, filling the bowl with water. My movements frantic with panic, I split half the water running to the flames. I poured the rest over the fire. It sizzles, waning, a flicker reemerged.

I scattered back, filling another bowl. A drop of water hit my forehead. I looked up at the ceiling. The sprinklers. Water shooting out from the ceiling, sputtered over the whole room. The whole beautiful room. I tossed the second bowl, on the dead fire.

Collapsing in a heap beside it, I pushed my water soaked hair from my face. Drenched head to toe, the smokey smell stuck in the air. I held the stupid bowl, the chacoaled remnants of a blanket beside me. Drops of water pelted my cheeks, I fought back a shiver. Seeing that monster again...even just in my mind. I tried to slow my racing my heart, the alarm poking at my nerves. One truth kept the panic alive, they know I'm back. I tossed away the bowl. It rattled against the floor, bouncing off the couch. Not only that but they're still coming after me. I wiped my face, raising my chin. I hope my message rang loud and clear. The sprinklers stopped, a last drop rolling down my forehead. I refuse to cower.

I raised my head, footsteps thundering towards the door. I stayed where I was, hiding didn't matter now. I squeezed the water out of my hair as the door burst open, six or so guards charging in. I gave a weak wave. They blinked with confused faces. "The fire's out, sorry for the mess," I said.

Ingrid scuffled in after them, her glasses falling down her nose. "What did you do!" She yelled, gripping her head. "I only left you for a few hours."

I nodded, keeping my eyes low. "I know...I'm really sorry."

"Sorry? What happened?" She gawked, standing over me. A clipboard in her hand, a medical supply logo I've seen on some of Drake's deliveries.

I winced, moving my hair from my face. "He came for me again...the person who kidnapped me in Lattice. " I darted my eyes to the guards. "I started the fire to scare him off, but it got out of control."

Ingrid's expression unreadable, she pointed to guards, folding the clipboard under her arm. "...I'll handle this from here."

They exchanged looks, murmuring, "But, if there was an attempted kidnapping?"

"I didn't stutter, did I?" Ingrid raised her chin. "This is above your pay grade." The man shrunk back, following as the others shuffled to the door. Fear poking at me, I wanted to run with them.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Everything go okay with your urgent business?"

Ingrid studied me with her arms crossed. "This your idea of changing the subject?"

"No, I'm just asking."

"Our ordering system went haywire, it may take a couple weeks to sort out the errors." She scoffed at the room. "But this is a bigger problem."

I pulled my knees to my chest, holding in a breath. "I...can find a way to pay you guys back."

She sighed, surveying the room. "Did you at least see his face?"

I slipped my hands from my knees. "He only appears as shadows." I lifted my head to see Ingrid's eyes shift.

"What?" she stuttered, her face going blank.

I nodded. "He has a gifting that can cause hallucinations." I crawled off my knees, wet clothes sticking to me.

Ingrid swallowed, her face as pale as a ghost. "That sounds terrifying."

I kept my glare steady. "You know him?"

"No, of course not," Ingrid snapped, her anger back.

Liar. "Who is it, Ingrid?" I pointed a finger at her, water dripping off my sleeve. "I need to know."

"I don't know for goodness sake!" she shouted, moving her eyes away.

I shook my head, pacing. "This is important. They're coming after me."

"I know," she hissed, raising her chin. "If I knew I would tell you."

I sighed, my feet squishing over the water soaked carpet. She's lying, I'm sure she's lying. I turned around, Jude running around the corner. Oh no. His jaw fell, taking in the room. "Phyn...what happened?"

"I'll find a way to replace your stuff. I just..." I stuttered, my head falling. "They know I'm back."

Jude's face switched, fury building behind his eyes. "You're saying someone attacked you?"

I nodded. "The shadow-man was here. I set the fire to scare him off." I pursed my lips, frowning at the soggy apartment a puddle."I wasn't thinking."

Jude clenched his jaw, his whole body stiff. I wrung the water from my hair again. "I'll pay for the mess, I promise," I said.

An angry snicker from Jude, he flicked his head back. "It's him who's going to pay. The audacity of him attacking you here. I won't let this go unpunished," he growled. I blinked at the intensity in his eyes. He glared at the door, hatred bubbling. "We'll find you somewhere safe to stay, and-"

"No," I shook my head.

"No?" Jude's face went blank before it twisted up. "What do you mean no?"

"I'll find my own place, somewhere they won't find me."

"Like hell, you will," Jude's voice dropped an octave. "These people are dangerous, you can't just go wherever you want. You'll get yourself killed."

I laughed, nearly wheezing. "I've been taking care of myself my whole life, I'll be fine."

He shook his head. "I have resources you don't, and I'm not sleeping on the streets. Don't be stupid, I can protect you-"

Stupid? My heart picked up like a drum. I scowled at his arrogant face. "No one knew I existed for five years, so don't tell me you can protect me better than I can."

"But now they know, and this isn't a game." He walked around me, staring me down. "You need me."

My gaze unwavered. "No, I don't. I can make it on my own."

He snickered, "Which is why my apartment was on fire? Really, you shouldn't say something so laughable."

"That was an accident! I was being attacked. I panicked," I squeezed my eyes shut, my face growing hot. How dare he? I lifted my head. "This happened on your turf, Commander. So you can't say I'm the problem."

His grin soured. "If it weren't for me, you'd still be in Idyllic. I risked everything to save you-"

"I saved you first-" I laughed at him "-but then again, who's keeping count."

His eyes faltered, his face switching like shattered glass. "I see…" he muttered. "You regret saving my life."

What? That's not what I meant. I shook my head. "Jude, no-"

"Say it." He locked his gaze on mine. "You keep implying it. If I died everything would be easier for you," he raved.

"Commander…" Ingrid sighed, tapping her fingers on the clipboard.

I took a breath, turning my gaze away. "I don't regret it, that doesn't mean I'll let you bully me either." I turned towards the door, putting more distance between us. "You don't own me. If I want your help, I'll ask for it," I growled. I won't let anyone own me.

Jude blinked, eyes growing wide. Anger unraveling like thread, his chin quivered. Ingrid gave a nervous laugh, stepping in. She pushed her glasses up the brim of her nose. "Now just take a breath and we'll talk this through when you're both calm."

I snorted, continuing across the carpet. "I'll touch base in a couple days and we can talk then." I turned back, staring blankly at Jude. "I'll leave my contact information with Oliver, in case of an emergency." I tapped on the door frame. "And I'll send a check for this." I frowned at the luxurious room. I still don't know how.

Jude's eyes glossy, he clenched his jaw. "Phynley," he murmured. "I'm…"

"Afraid?" I shrugged. "So am I...we all are." I turned, slipping out into the hallway. Weight in each step, I couldn't shake this feeling. Maybe I was too harsh...I'm being stubborn. Still I can't handle this, staying here is suffocating. I took a deep breath, refusing to look back. I can worry about hurt feelings later, I have to keep moving. I have a fight to win.