By the time I opened my eyes again it was night. The darkness surprised me. I hadn’t meant to lose myself to sleep. My body felt stiff as I sat up. A bad taste in my mouth, I blinked groggily. I was cold and covered in sweat. My head still hurt but besides that I was beginning to feel better. I felt somewhat normal again.

I stood up finding strength, dusting the grass off my clothes. I had no idea how long I slept or what time it was. I hoped everything went smooth for Diggery.

The grasshoppers sang in the background as I oriented myself. Circling around the cabin, I stood in front of the rickety steps. An owl’s coo surprised me, I nearly jumped out of my skin. I shook my head, I was still on edge. I needed to sleep in a real bed.

I climbed the steps, the gentle knock of my boot against them so familiar. Grabbing the door latch the squeak resounded as I slipped inside.

The air was stuffy as I threw my bag to the floor. I sighed moving my hair from my face, rubbing my temples. I took another step inside, fumbling for my candle. I couldn’t find it. Strange, I always kept it in the same spot.

A noise across the room alerted me to the presence of someone else inside. I didn’t move, trying to listen. I squirted into the dark.

"You disappoint me pet." Malachi's sly whisper emitted from the dark room. My heart froze.

"I've given you so much, just look around." He struck a match in his hand illuminating his face. His dull grey eyes screaming to be taken seriously.

"You get your own place, actually things, the runaround of the camp. I don't overwork you, I am forgiving of your flaws and I generously reward your successes. I have been more than fair." The match light danced across his glassy eyes. "But this is something I can't stand for." His tone dropped cold.

I fidgeted, "It was later than I hoped but there were some complications with the pickup." Why was he so upset about this? His eyes lit with fire, his posture calm.

"I'm not talking about the delivery time or that you sent that clown in your place. I'm talking about you stealing from me."

My blood ran cold, he knew.

"If you're bent on stealing from a thief, darling, you should learn to cover your tracks better."

"It wasn't stealing you always got your share." I argued, biting my tongue. Arguing was a bad plan.

"Charging my clients an unagreed upon price to line your own pockets, that constitutes stealing. It's stealing my business anyway." He stood, a scowl growing on his face.

"From now on things change here. You play by the same rules as everyone else. You don't step out of line or you pay the price." He hissed, leaning over me with a sneer.

I glared up at him. Anger building in my gut. "Are you threatening me?"

"Oh no pet, that's absurd. I would never lay a hand on you, I will never. Although that courtesy is only reserved for you." A light whisper of a smile as he said it.

"What?" I stared at him wide-eyed.

"You cross me again and I'll kill him next time."

I was no longer paying attention to him, my brain was screaming. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, I could see a silhouette laying in the doorway to my bedroom. He wouldn’t, Malachi wouldn’t dare!

I ran closer in a panic, turning it over to see his face. Diggery lay on my floor, his whole face bloody and swollen. I choked back the feeling in my gut. Beaten so severely I could hardly recognize him.

I held him in shock. My tears fell, dropping on his face. They mixed with the blood and dirt, smearing his cheeks. Thankfully he was still breathing, his heartbeat was still strong. Diggery was supposed to be the one who was safe, I ran off and left him to this. I sobbed into his shirt, not knowing what to do. I wiped his cheeks with my sleeves, staining them red.

I heard Malachi walk away, his footsteps clicking on the wood. I cursed him in my head, silently hating him more than I ever had. I would make him pay for this, I couldn’t let him get away with this. No one owned me, I wasn't his 'pet'. If he wanted an enemy he had made one.

I looked back down at Diggery trying to understand how they could do this to him. Diggery's eyes opened a slit, staring up at me dully. My anger turned to guilt, I couldn’t breathe.

"I'm so sorry Diggery!" I cried still clutching him, "I didn't know this would happen." I pleaded desperately.

They apathetically acknowledged me and shut again. Something about it shook me. I wiped the tear stains from my face. Trembling from the sobs, I forced myself to stop.

Crying wouldn’t help him. I put on my bravest face and dragged him to my room. The world, feeling distant and blurry. I couldn’t remember the right things to do.

I rolled him up on the bed, lifting him up with no small effort. I took a gasp, letting him be. I bit my lip looking around. I pulled a blanket from off the ground and covered him.

I stepped back. Was there more I could do? My brain was so scattered, I could hardly keep it straight. Maybe I needed to clean up his wounds better?

I found my wash basin in the corner. I dipped a cloth in it, ringing it out and used it to wipe the remaining blood off his face. I didn't know if he had other wounds but I wasn't exactly comfortable checking. He still looked horrible. My lip tremored. I did this to him.

I dropped the cloth, letting myself fall next to the bed. I laid my head next to his, holding his hand. I couldn’t take his pain away but I could stay with him.

I quieted my tears holding back sniffles. Overwhelmed by a sense of guilt. I was the cause of his pain. The latest victim left in my path of destruction. I hurt everyone I loved.

I would try to protect him though. He couldn’t die because of me. Even if it meant I had to play Malachi's game. I could fix this, somehow.

I gripped his hand tighter, letting myself forget. My regrets were piling up suffocating me under their weight. Exhaustion was my only weapon against them. I could block it all out for a moment, forget long enough to fall asleep.

I woke up at the edge of my bed, stiff from sleeping at an odd angle. Yesterday's events felt more like a bad dream than reality. I reached for Diggery's hand and didn’t find it. He was gone. My heart pounded in a moment of panic. I wondered if it really was a dream. Please let it have been a dream. The washcloth told me otherwise though. Blood stained on the floor, it sat where I left it.

Like a punch to my gut, it reminded me I couldn’t get out of this that easy. I got up sitting on my bed, head in my hands. I didn't want to step outside. I was afraid, but I had to find out where Diggery was. I had to face the consequences of my actions.

Pulling my hands from my hair I stared down at the state I was in. Part of me wanted to show up looking like this, blood stained sleeves and crazy hair. A better tactic to show up composed. I tied my hair back quickly and changed my clothes. If I wanted nothing to affect me I would have to look like nothing could. No tears today, I promised myself clenching my fists.

Determination fueled my steps, marching down and away from the cabin. Overcast, the weather seemed fitting. Unfortunately I couldn't tell what time of day it was. It could be anywhere from late morning to early afternoon. I hoped Malachi wouldn't get mad if I was late.

Entering the common area I was met by swarms of people. I knew it was a meal time. A little less crowded than breakfast, I figured it was lunch. My stomach growled. I should probably eat before anything else. Grabbing a bowl. I approached the cook. He stared at me, apologizing with his eyes. "Sorry Phyn. You missed your assignment today. Malachi said to give you none today."

I swore under my breath for Malachi's lack of mercy. I shook my head, "It's ok Chuck It's not your fault." I slowly walked back, stacking my bowl. People staring as I left without food. Mummers growing as they wound up their gossip. I locked my eyes forward, keeping my face stern. Don’t let them see weakness.

I stepped back outside, surveying the space for Malachi. If he wanted me to grovel I would. My stomach wouldn’t let me protect my pride. I spotted him walking back up to his office. I darted straight for him, ignoring the bystanders turning their heads.

He got inside before I reached him. I ran up the steps still determined. Getting to the top I gave it a gentle knock. I had to stay calm, losing my temper would make things worse.

"Come in." His voice echoed through the door. I swung it open and entered slowly

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake up late." I said in the most polite monotone voice I could manage. He didn't respond to my apology, looking back at his work.

"What do you have for me today?" I asked gently.

Malachi rolled his eyes looking up "Really nothing. I can't trust you with anything important. You broke that trust and trust is earned." He scolded me. I frowned "So what? you're just not going to feed me all day cause you don't wanna give me work, that's fair." I spat, failing to bite back the sarcasm.

"I warned you yesterday things would change." He returned bored. "Ya but you're being unreasonable." I hissed, a smirk forming on my face. "You want me to leave is that it?"

"I will kill Diggery if you do that." He remarked dryly, meeting my gaze unmovingly. I scowled at him, on the edge of losing my nerve.

"You can help the maintenance crew or rejoin your old pickpocket crew, if you want to eat today."

My face, hot. He wanted to disgrace me.

"Fine." I stomped out the door, refusing to look back.

I scampered back down the stairs and ran off. I wouldn’t dare join another crew. I would get torn apart. I had to figure out something else.

The wind whipped against my face as I left by the path. Diggery was the first concern on my mind. I needed to find him. I had to make sure Malachi didn’t stash him somewhere. That would make his threat that much more frightening.

I walked away from the common area and drew closer to the barn. I carefully walked to the door and creaked it open. It was basically empty, most kids either at work or lunch. Bunk beds lining the walls, mats along the floors, I forgot how this place looked when it wasn't story time.

I searched for Diggery's bed, walking down the line. I spotted it and him. I sighed in relief. He sat on the top bunk looking out the little window along the top. This was good. He still looked bad but not as bad as last night. His face was still swollen and his expression solemn.

"You scared me when you disappeared this morning." I smiled weakly at him. He looked over with hollow eyes.

"I could say the same for you, yesterday."

"I'm sorry." I dropped my smile.

"What were you thinking, Phyn?"

I frowned, biting my lip "I don't know."

"You left me and not only that but you left me to face a mess you created." He raised his voice, looking exasperated. "For all the times you've called me an idiot before and go do something like this. What did you think was going to happen if he found out?" Diggery shook in anger.

I stuttered fighting the stinging tears in my eyes. "I didn't think it would come back to bite you." "Ya but it did, didn't it." He hissed.

"If I could take it all back I would." I wished he knew how sorry I was.

"That means nothing. You can't take it back and now Malachi is hanging me over your head as a threat. Well I'm saying it right now, I want no part in it." His eyes went darkly serious. I stared at him not understanding what he meant.

"I can't do this." He avoided my gaze.

"You can't do what?" I questioned his meaning. "Whatever this is." He motioned to us. My heart sank to the depths of my stomach.

"Oh."

"I can't see you anymore." He glared out the window. Tears welling in my eyes, my head was spinning. I went to argue, I wanted to call him selfish and cowardly. That he couldn't abandon me like this but, I was the selfish one. He had every right to shun me. He was completely justified. I would do this for him.

"Ok." I said with a defeated spirit. "I'll stay away from you. I'll follow Malachi's rules, I'll make sure he won't hurt you again."

He nodded briefly looking back towards the window. "You do that."

I paused for a second staring at him. I wished things were different. Maybe if I hadn’t done this he would have stayed with, come with if I had to run. My heart ached, I wouldn’t have been alone.

I turned abruptly, not knowing how to say goodbye. I walked out of the barn letting my tears run freely. My ‘no tears’ promise, already broken. I needed a place to breathe. I wiped off my tears as I walked down the path.

I headed to the outskirts of the camp. I felt cold, shivers crawling down my arms. My shoulders sat heavy as I dragged my feet. Only yesterday I had hoped things would turn out better, but I was wrong to think it would last.

As I got farther away, my surroundings started to become more forest-like. More trees surrounding me. I sighed in relief, I was happy to be somewhere peaceful. It was so quiet, shadows dancing across my path from the trees. I could stay hidden here. The brush poking up around me. My feet crutched against it. The whole movement of this world filled a small portion of the hollow feeling in my chest.

I took a seat on the forest floor and watched it all dully. Everything ached, I had so little energy left. I wished my parents were still alive. The thought, a stabbing pain in my gut. That was my fault too. It was my curse to walk alone, my atonement. There were no heroes to rescue me. The monsters of this world had teeth too sharp for heroes.

I clenched my fists, holding back angry tears. It wasn’t only my fault. Merle deserved much worse than I did. He deserved to bleed.

My head turned startled by the sound of someone else stomping around in the forest. A hyena like laughter started my heart pounding in my head. I knew that laugh, my stomach felt sick. I quickly stood up, trying to find a spot to hide. It was too late.

Benjamin pulled on Lawrence's sleeve, pointing in my direction. Eyes stuck on me. They stared at me with pity for a moment. I probably looked pathetic, tearstained face curled up on the floor. I scowled at them, standing defensively. A sick grin spread across Lawerence’s face.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen." he sang. I tightened my stance, stepping back.

"I'm not in the mood Lawrence. Leave me alone." I huffed, hoping they'd listen for once. He stepped closer, his eyes stuck in glee.

"Rumour is you've fallen out of favour with Malachi. Such an unfortunate series of events, yes? Even your sidekick is out of commission. How is he by the way?"

"He's fine." I hissed, almost tripping on a branch, still stepping back.

"And not in any position to rescue you."

Panic flooded my veins. I ran, jumping through bushes. Benny chasing right behind me. Lawrence walked behind, "Oh come on Phyn be a good sport." He taunted.

My legs burned like fire, every step was a wild stumble. He was gaining, getting closer. No matter how fast I ran he ran faster. My lungs felt ripped apart. I gasped for air, trying to fuel my limbs. Dread pounding in my head. I wasn’t getting away.

He grabbed my shoulder pulling me back. I stumbled violently, my face sliding against the dirt. My skin stinging as the branches scratched me.

I pulled myself back up, fighting to get away. Before I could run, he caught me around my waist, dragging me back to Lawrence. I swung my arms, fighting to break free, but he was too strong.

Lawrence clapped as Benny brought me closer, a sick twisted grin slapped on his face.

"Good show Benny!" He cheered. I slammed my foot on Benny's shin. He yelped, I squirmed, pulling out of his grasp. He locked his arms around me again, jerking me back. I gasped, a desperate fear.

I stared into Lawrence's dark gaze. I only had one option left. I couldn’t wait to find out what he had planned. I spat at him, he stepped back. My words failed me, I left him with a look of rage. I put the most familiar mental image to mind and I left the forest.

Standing once more beside my cabin. Steadying my breathing, I let myself calm down. That was too close. My heart slowed, the silence interrupted by sound coming from my house.

I frowned circling around. Three or four of Malachi's thugs milled about, tossing around my furniture.

"What do you think you're doing!" I yelled, no time to gather my composure. My hands, still shaking. They continued, not bothering to respond to me. I ran in, scanning the room. Trying to focus amidst the chaos.

I noticed my loose floorboard ripped open, the space empty. I turned, one of the men holding my atlas. I lunged to grab it, attempting to take it from his hands.

"What are you doing girl?" He huffed, shoving me back.

"That's not yours!" I cried out, keeping my grip.

"Neither are these." Another one of the men held up the cash stash I had been hoarding. I stared at it, the distraction causing me to lose hold of the book.

"You can take it up with Malachi, it's not my problem." He kept moving. I stared at the commotion. My anger boiled, I turned on my heels running out of the house. I couldn't handle this, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I was being attacked on all sides. I needed to escape. The forest was a bad idea so I headed towards Lattice. I ran down the path, the sky rumbling. I welcomed the storm. I ran towards it. My destruction was imminent anyways.