The hall was enormous and wasted a lot of superfluous commodities. Decorated with drapes that crawled up the pillars supporting the weight of the patio of the second floor, it appeared no different from the festive halls I was used to all along.

I was always the uninvited guest, if you are wondering. Didn’t all revelries have them? I went for bread, ate bread, and took some bread with me. What occurred there had never been my concern.

The entire patio was adorned with chairs and tables spanning slightly away from the railing overlooking the hall below. A glittering mana lamp at the center of the room, hanging from the apex, creaked as we tramped through the crowd. It had claimed victims before, or it would soon, and I didn’t like the pace at which it thrummed in response to the crowd on the ground floor. Chatter, and chatter, and chatter. I heard nothing else. Even the instruments padding the stage opposite the entrance were silent when faced with a crowd of this magnitude.

Mana lamps extended from the central chandelier, each in concentric circles, albeit smaller than the ones within until they disappeared into the chocolate color roofing. Devoid of tiles. Somehow, the clever ones who had built the place had opted for utility instead of grace. I held my lad’s hand as we ambled the stairs leading to the second floor. That was the rightful place the mages took, even if the ball was hoisted in their honor. The ground floor was reserved for dancing and gossip. They called it waltz, but men and women swaying aimlessly around each other hardly sounded convincing for me to try it out.

“Ruddy, do you dance?” Casey asked as we took a seat against the round table overlooking the commotion down below. Most of the seats spanning around us were empty. The Academ had told the villainess noble ladies to try their luck, but I couldn’t see why mages would visit this stinky place. Unless, of course, they were looking for potential brides and grooms for their protégé and children, alike.

And I hit the spot with my guess when I noticed the first mage, Earl Crovict, taking his seat opposite us. Young enough to be in his early forties and adequately fine-looking for his age. He whispered something in the ears of his boy, Elert, who nodded and ambled downstairs without sparing us a glance.

“Ruddy?” Casey called out again, and I realized I had forgotten to answer her.

“I don’t, lady Casey,” I said. “I have never tried, and I don’t intend to any time soon.”

“You will dance very soon, Rudolf,” my lady said, not without a smile.

“Learn to dance, Ruddy,” Bath chimed in with a grin. “You can feel up Letitia when you hold her.”

“Why did it sound wrong?” Casey asked. “Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

The three girls stared at each other and laughed, loud enough to earn a repulsive stare from the Earl. Sure, his views of women were different, but I didn’t understand his gaze. If he didn’t like them, why was he expending so much effort to stare at them and then express his discomfort? Wouldn’t ignorance be more blissful? I glanced around us after deciding to have a good talk with the Earl should he have the luck to die under my blood sword.

“That mage is ruled out,” Beth said, staring across. Sure, even they had noticed it. “I’m not even interested in becoming his in-law. Bastard thinks he’s the one calling shots.”

“Even that one,” Casey pointed at the second mage, who joined the Earl on his table. “Rotten nobles always flock together without exception.”

“Did you try your luck with Crover?” my lady asked while Beth nodded.

“I already got his approval, Leti,” Beth said. “Although he was adamant about it, he begrudgingly decided to let me shadow him on his next mission. That’s all for the commendation letter, or so he said.”

“I hope he doesn’t take you on a harsh mission,” Casey said, holding Beth’s hand. “He is a strange mage who seeks happiness from tormenting his students.”

My lady and I exchanged stares and smiled in unison.

“She’ll be fine,” my lady said, turning toward Casey. “Even if he does enjoy tormenting the pupils of the academy, he may not be a wicked person.”

“That isn’t reassuring!” Beth rolled her eyes. These noble girls were surprisingly adept at the chore, and even though I had learned such a wilful deed from them, I was still lagging by unassailable walls.

What was unassailable for the undead, you ask? Imagine a bread city behind the borders. That’s more than enough reason for me to not cross the border.

“But I have talked to him on multiple occasions in the past,” Beth continued, her fingers drawing circles on Casey’s palm. “He isn’t as bad as he comes off. Just like Ruddy, if you ask me. But the opposite.”

“You mean my mongrel comes off as a nice person?” my lady asked in surprise.

“Doesn’t he?” Casey asked in return. “I always thought he was a good person before I realized all the heinous crimes he commits behind the scenes. That doesn’t change anything, though. He will always be our Ruddy.”

I coughed uncharacteristically. “I mean, was it that predictable?”

“Of course, Ruddy,” Beth said, almost in a whisper. I had cast [Ward] around us, so the whispers were unwarranted. “Two of your lady’s enemies shot down one after the other, and the killer is still loose. Even we can connect two dots with a single straight line.”

“But calling them heinous crimes is an overstatement,” I said. “All I did was wipe out my lady’s enemies.”

The Marquis, however, might still be alive and breathing. Was I worried? Not really. Even if they came to me with multiple kingdoms, I would win. Sages? I would still massacre. Demons? I would still eat bread. Superiority earned after surviving every damned disaster is not conceitedness. It was confidence. Because I had a basis for it.

My lady smiled. “That’s how far he is willing to go for my sake.”

“Well, not really, but okay,” I shrugged.

Letitia pouted while her friends giggled. “What about you, Casey?” my lady asked. “Did Volch agree?”

“He did, Leti,” Casey beamed. “How could he resist his cute little sister?”

“Did he tell you that?!” Beth asked in surprise.

“Yes,” Casey smiled. “He ruffled my hair just like how Ruddy ruffles Leti’s hair. Fondly.”

Letita didn’t sound happy at the comment, but the last word perhaps made the difference. For me, I just liked her silky soft hair, nothing more. Fondness? This undead didn’t understand the complicated intricacies of mortal feelings.

“Volch is a true man, no doubt,” Beth nodded. “He understands true magnificence.”

We shared another round of laughter as seats around us started filing in. The instruments, most stringed, some percussion, and some woodwind, lined up uniformly over the lectern. Music wasn’t something I acknowledged either, for the notes were just some random vibrations that I wasn’t inclined to mimic. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t wipe music, or any other art, from the face of the realm just because I didn’t prefer it. I was too lazy, one thing, and I was liberal. Not a single realm was designed for my sake, so it made little sense to tune them according to my penchants.

Undead I was, but I wasn’t a hypocrite.

My lady pointed at Arabell, surrounded by three other men, one her fiancé Isen. If he still was, that is. The death of the Marquis had shaken the entire noble nobility, so everyone was trying to distance themselves from the household, somehow believing that the King had decided to dispose of the growing power of the Maquis. The good thing was that no amount of rationale would wipe the doubt out of their minds until the lie warped to become the truth, so I continued enjoying my bread without consequences.

“Did her arrogance die down in the last month?” Beth asked, following our gaze. “Even in the Academy, she has almost become an outcast. Heard rumors that she offers illicit favors to men for money. That’s hardly believable given her age, but rumors should have a beginning.”

“And that beginning is right there,” my lady pointed at Meisie, who was laughing with her friends just a distance away. “Struggle for inheritance is the dirtiest among noblewomen. They use all underhanded methods. That’s how my mother was thrown to the ground from the pedestal. Toward the end, her words almost accounted for nothing.”

“Then why is Isen still with her?” Casey asked. “Any young girl’s reputation tainted to such an extent wouldn’t have men chasing after them.”

“Perhaps, he might be a good man,” my lady said, eyeing me.

I laughed. “There are no good people in the world, my lady. He might be trying to reap some benefits from selling her. He heard the rumor; he has the girl. The only thing he lacks is strong alliances.”

“Ruddy!” Casey shouted at me, but Letitia and Beth had almost accepted the thought without refuting.

“This world is far crueler than you think, lady Casey,” I shrugged. “Watch their exchange. See how fearful she is of his touch. He might be trying to make the rumor a reality. After all, she had become useless for him the moment the Marquis died. Repercussions. They are innumerable after every action. If you eat a loaf of bread today, someone else who could have survived on that bread will die. Are you any different from a murderer?”

“But we will die if we don’t eat,” Casey appeared horrified.

“That’s why good people die, lady Casey,” I said. “They won’t eat because someone else will die. They won’t live because nature will be harmed, they won’t see because their gaze might be aversive to someone else, they won’t talk because their unharmful words might become a curse from a different perspective. And what is this that doesn’t see, doesn’t talk, doesn’t hear, does good to nature?”

“A corpse,” my lady said, and she smiled at the thought.

“Yes,” I grinned. “Only corpses are good.”

“It’s so damn scary that I can’t refute that, Ruddy,” Beth said, holding Casey’s hand. Well, it was good to have an existential crisis at times.

“What should we do about that, my lady?” I asked, looking forward to seeing another body. Isen or Arabell didn’t really make a difference as long as I saw some blood.

“She has troubled me a lot in the past,” my lady paused, lost in thought. “But since she is the heir, I suppose it doesn’t harm to make her owe us a favor. We can let the two sisters fight to the death and revel from the sidelines.”

I smiled, one that had countless mortals shivering. “That’s how you decide whether to help or not, my lady. Always look for benefits.”

“This damned butler!” Beth glared at me. “She will always help us if we don’t give her any benefits. Won’t you, Leti?”

My lady smiled and nodded, much to my dissatisfaction. Beth’s smugness couldn’t be more apparent.

“They are taking her away,” Casey said, pointing at the disappearing figures. “Are there any rooms in the hall?”

“I have visited Platique once before with Yura, so I know the way to the room meant for them,” Beth glanced at the instrumentalists on the lectern, who had started the first piece of music. Slow, soft, steady. Men and women took the stage, dancing to the tunes. Slow, soft, steady. Well, it didn’t make much sense anyway, so I stripped my sight away from the musicians festooned in strange garbs and glanced at the three men accompanying Arabell.

I doubt anything had happened to her yet since she hadn’t asked for my lady’s help. She would have disregarded all her pride if she knew the grimness of the scenario. Marlica might have said to her it was all right. After all, she did climb the stairs to the nobility relying on her skill in seduction. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the person was fine with it. Skills were skills; slaughter or seduction hardly made any difference.

Despite everything, they were my lady’s family, though only in name. And the world would laugh at their doom after churning their gut.

And so would I laugh at the world’s doom. For taking my lady lightly.