Garlan was quite efficient when it came to meeting my insatiable demand for bread. He knew the texture of a perfectly baked bread so well that he often bought me lunch, with my lady paying him, of course. Though, if he delivered the bread to my resting place, it would have been better.

You see, we undead have a penchant for lazing around, believe it or not. I once slept for a few years when my bread stock deflated, and I was out of money, and drought had inundated my world.

I was wolfing down a pack of bread wrapped in paper bags that were quite famous for being disposable in the entire kingdom. I know that it’s hardly a thing to be recognized for, and I have no clue what the sales agents thought when they decided on the ad campaign. Nonetheless, it worked, and most of my beloved bread was packed in such paper bags that were quite convenient for a change.

I was almost done when my lady approached the banyan-like tree, along with the two cronies, avoiding the dangling prop roots. She took a seat beside me and leaned against the thick bole while the two girls sat before us, Beth narrowing her eyes at me.

I sighed and cast [Ward] before nodding in her direction and proceeded to cover my land’s eyes. My lady slapped my hands away and watched the two girls kissing intently with great interest. Was she at that age too? I wondered, but I realized that I didn’t know much about adolescent girls, let alone women. As far as I was concerned, all were mortals.

When my lady couldn’t bear it anymore, she averted her eyes and looked at me, her pausing at my lips for a tad too long.

Casey groaned, the sound too hard loud to ignore, and I covered my lady’s ears, watching her ears turning red. She hardly got embarrassed, and I knew she would lose this innocence in a couple of years, so I laughed lightly, earning her punch on my abdomen.

Casey and Beth didn’t intend to taunt us with their flirting, but it was only within my [Ward] that they truly felt safe to try out anything. They never went too far, and I doubt it would remain true over the next few days. They were staying in the same mansion, after all.

Beth pulled away first, breathing hoarsely, and my lady shook her head, freeing her head from my hands.

“That’s enough for today!” my lady snapped as Casey and Beth laughed in unison.

“Aw, our Leti is shy!” Beth said, wrapping her arm around Casey’s shoulders. “We are two years older than you, so some patience wouldn’t hurt on your end.”

She eyed me naughtily, and I shrugged.

“One year,” my lady corrected, regaining her usual composure.

“One and a half,” Casey amended. “We failed for two years straight. And an expulsion is our only way out if we don’t clear the exams this time.”

They failed deliberately, and even an undead, who was least bothered about copulation, could point this fact blatantly.

“But we are glad to have met you,” Casey said, smiling brightly.

“Yes. Ruddy’s [Ward] is too precious,” Beth added, while Casey elbowed her playfully.

“Hey, mongrel,” my lady chimed in. “How can I learn [Ward]?”

“Let’s see,” I paused, earning their curious glances. “You cannot learn it.”

“The fuck are you yapping about, Ruddy?” Beth asked while Casey nodded in agreement. My lady, however, wordlessly settled down for a silent acknowledgment.

Indeed, it is my own spell, and only an undead can use it. But it’s not like I could put the fact on the table and say screw yourself like them.

“There are some spells that you cannot use even if you have all eight attributes. [Ward] in one of them.”

“How come the crappy teachers never told us anything about it?” Beth asked, lips puckered.

“Because they are crappy,” I said, feeling proud of leaving her speechless. “People are approaching my ward,” I continued, lowering the strength of the [Ward] nimbly so that even weak commuters could pass through it. “Three people.”

Casey and Beth sat at a distance from each other, obviously to avoid the death flag, as it was none other heroine and her two harem members blessing us with their grace.

This place was located on the leftmost corner of the premises, so you had to walk around the building once to even reach here. That’s mainly the reason for the seclusion, adding to the fact that the bullies usually hang in the area. And even among the undead, bullies are feared tremendously.

Undead bullies are different from mortals ones, and they earn pleasure from torturing other undead. As perverse as it sounds, if an undead can relieve boredom, nothing is out of the ordinary. I, though, have never been on the receiving end, for I was the lone undead in my world. Only after transmigrating did I meet other perverse undead, and what I wouldn’t do to not meet them again!

The heroine’s entourage stood before us, and I almost saw blinding light behind them. The blonde man was Elert, whose body I had to break, and the sturdy red-haired guy almost towering over the heroine was the heir of Earl Baye if my memory served me right. Distinct hair color made it easy to distinguish ordinary people from harem members, but I wished I had gotten a black color like my lady’s. I would have appeared more ferocious, at least. And not like a worn-out old man who walked straight.

“Letitia,” the heroine greeted with a smile.

“This darn bitch!” My lady and Beth said in unison and stared at each other in surprise. Beth chuckled, and my lady smirked while Casey just giggled.

The men behind the heroine almost stepped forward, ready to trash the villainess noble girls, when the heroine stopped them, her face serious.

“I know you hate me–“

“We detest you,” Beth corrected her.

“I know you detest me–“

“We abhor you,” Beth said again, and the sturdy man stepped forward.

“Stop it, Alen!” the heroine’s voice had strange strength to it, which I could quite pinpoint. Alen stopped in his tracks and retreated with a grunt.

“Could you please stop troubling commoners, Letitia?” Gladiata finally managed to say what she intended to.

Well, my bread lad was in cahoots with us, so it was unlikely that we would stop that easily. As expected, my lady snickered.

“Without me, who would appreciate you, bitch?” my lady nailed her lines, and the heroine’s expression froze. “Stop being an ungrateful whore and scram.”

She raised her arm and cast [Ice Shards]. She was leaning to control external mana, which made me quite satisfied. Six ice sickles materialized in between us, Beth and Casey watching my lady with awe, along with the rest of heroine’s entourage, until the sturdy man stepped forth to protect the princess of his delusions.

“I will protect you, Gladiata,” he tried to cast [Boulder], but my lady’s ice sickles were faster, and two pierced his arms, blood gushing out restlessly. The sturdy guy bit his lips in pain as blood stained his clothes.

Tears rolled down the heroine’s eyes as she hugged the man from behind. “Please, don’t Alen,” her choked sobs interrupted her word. “Don’t die for me.”

Well, are we looking at the same scene here? The stab wounds were hardly enough to kill a mouse, yet the ambiance effect was a tad too much. Maybe I’m understating it too much, but they would at most cause the sturdy man to faint. We undead don’t share the same sentiments when it comes to wounds.

“Anything for you, my dear Gladiate,” he turned around, his palms cupping her cheeks as she held her own over his. Glaidata cast [Cure] over his wounds, crying genuine tears. “Don’t cry, Gladiata. I’m fine. I exist solely for protecting you.”

We shared looks in succession, weirded out by the intimate actions of the couple and the jealousy of the third wheel. Are these renowned heart-fluttering moments? Oh, evil demons, please save those who indulge themselves in this carnage.

“Letitia!” the heroine finally stood up after healing the wounds of her harem member. There was considerable blood on the ground, but more was on the face of the third wheel. “I would have forgiven you if you had hurt me, but you just hurt my beloved friend!”

“Your sex slave, you mean?” Beth chimed in, laughing heartily.

I guess my presence had changed those around me because the comebacks from the villainess noble girls almost left the heroine speechless.

“Let’s go, Gladiata,” Elert spoke up, his face regaining some composure. “These sinners are not worth your time.”

Gladiata nodded, now snuggling in the new man’s embrace. We exchanged looks again, holding back our laughter. The sacrifice of the sturdy man, who had fainted now, was worthless. Truly befitting heroes claiming to have saved the world by ignoring thousands of corpses sacrificed for the cause. At least we undead are not pretentious. We like slaughter, we do it, but we never dodge the responsibility.

There were about to walk away when my lady stopped them. “Take this mutt away too. Or you might find only his bones on your next visit.”

“Mind your language, Letitia.”

“Remember you place, Earl dog,” she replied nonchalantly.

We watched them struggling to lift the sturdy man and until they disappeared from our sight.

“What was that?” Casey asked, who was quiet till now. She never really spoke much in front of outsiders, so I wasn’t much surprised.

“It looked like a premeditated play,” Beth said, while my lady nodded, glancing at me.

I shrugged. “All I know is five men love that lady.”

“Bitch,” Beth corrected me while I nodded with a smile.

“That lady might end up in redhead’s bed soon. You know how those men like being competitive,” Casey offered her honest analysis. She was the most logical among the bunch, Beth most brute, and my lady most ruthless. And possessive, if I may add.

“What about you, mongrel?” My lady asked. “Are you one among the five men?”

“As I always say, my lady, I am your butler, and the maneuvers of the world are the least of my concern.”

“You heard him, he's mine.”

My lady smiled at Beth, who handed her five shins with a grunt, followed by Casey.

Did they just bargain by keeping an undead at stake? As baffling as it sounds, I didn’t mind as long as my lady bought me one loaf of bread with those eight shins. What the bargain was about is none of my concern if I got bread.