There was nothing special about my life of millennium. Rise of kingdoms, wars, fall of empires, and repeat. It was a dull, monotonous life if you ask me. That’s all my stonehearted undead body felt. Well, literal stonehearted body. Occasionally, heroes came up to my thatched house aiming to win glory, only to fall helplessly before my magic.

That was the regularity because I was undead.

One that was so overpowered that even the gods couldn’t hurt me, let alone puny summoned heroes.

So, what’s the point of life? That was how I felt all through the millennium. I forgot my human life shortly after I gained unassailable powers, forgot about revenge against those who shunned me because humans were not worth my time. That’s a fact, given they don’t even live past a century.

I learned the essence of magic and created my own. I built kingdoms just to see how long they would last. I manipulated wars, armies, used humans as my own chess pieces for joy, gave rise to demons that humans could kill. But my boredom knew no bounds. Humans cursed my rotten creations, but little did they know that they were enjoying at my expense.

And when I finally couldn’t take this life anymore, I decided to create transmigration magic. I decided to leave my stained life behind for a new one. Obviously, with my knowledge on how to become undead. So, if I liked my new life, I would live as undead in that world until I grew bored of it and transmigrated again. At least, that was my crude plan for the most part.

I transmigrated to many worlds soon after, and none of them held my attention for more than a few years. In relative measure. The time until the twenty-first century was fun, and I had roamed around the world learning the so-called mathematics that governed the laws of nature. Again, little did the humans of that age know that mathematics ruled the laws of magic too. One step further, and they would discover an entirely new world of magic. Evidently, I kept it a secret. After all, if I ever grew bored of transmigrating again, I could stop by this world for a few years of fun.

I read books after books in my brief stay, ones that didn’t give me new knowledge and instead introduced me to various different worlds. Fantasy, as humans of the twenty-first century and before called them. Because knowledge wasn’t meant to be disseminated from the eyes of a single ignorant mortal; rather, it was to be discovered by the learner. That was pure unadulterated knowledge I appreciated. And all undead like me, if they were more.

I traveled worldwide, dabbled with many things, played games until I witnessed the total loss of villains in every damn world. But the Otome games were the worst, for these puny brats lost against non-existent factor called love. That was bad, because villains were supposed to be exempted from everything that factored into a universal good mortal equation.

Call it a weird fetish, but I absolutely hated the way villainesses of the stories behaved so unconventionally. Broken engagement? Torture the female lead? Sure, it might be ceremonious farce for the characters, but why were the villainesses so damn weak?

That was when I decided I would transmigrate to such a world and help the poor villainess become an actual villain. Someone that would become destined to rule the world, and that too without magic. It was a handicap on my part, for I wanted to feel the thrill of becoming a full-fledged undead again.

As you might have guessed already, that was a bad handicap, and I was forced to break it soon after transmigrating. Who preferred fodder when there was fresh bread on the table?

But this was more than what I bargained for.

“Damn it!” the villainess before me kicked my leg for the nth time. “Why can’t you find a way to win the prince’s heart, you worthless mongrel?!”

I took some deep breaths. Patience, I reminded myself and bowed to the lady respectfully after standing up.

“How do you want me to help you, my lady?” I asked, adjusting the kerchief on my hand that had become wrinkled.

“This bastard!” She snarled as she walked to the balcony door. “You want me to tell you that?! Rotten humans are all the same!”

“That applied for your prince too, my lady,” I concurred with her notion completely, though she was just as rotten.

“Anyway, that bitch Gladiata is keeping the prince’s attention all to herself despite having an entourage of men at her disposal. I fucking hate that bitch. If possible, I would like to mar that face so badly that not even dogs would take a second look at her bloodied face!”

“Do you want me to make it so, my lady?” I asked, keeping the smile off my face. She was interesting despite being a hopeless maiden in love. If I could nurture those seeds of hatred in her, she might become my aide as I become undead in this world.

“You?!” She laughed uncharacteristically. If the prince saw her at her best, he would probably keep a mile’s distance away from this maiden. That was what I, for the magnanimous undead I was, aiming for anyway. “What will you do, mongrel? You can’t even wash my underpants.”

“Except that I can do anything, my lady.” Undead washing a puny human’s underpants? I would instead burn them all and buy new ones. But never if my bread was at stake. A bad undead knew their priorities.

“Then kill her, Rudolf,” she said with a glare. “Make it so that she will never see a new light.”

“Are you sure, my lady?” I asked. “She is maintaining the subtle balance of the nation by keeping all her enslaved men in control. Do you want a war to break out, watch helpless die a pitiful death just because you want to win a man’s heart?”

“Why should I care about those lowly people?!” She glared at me as if I was someone repulsive. “My goals and my goals alone will matter in the long run. Not even my father is worth a second glance, let alone my two beautiful, well-loved sisters.”

Bitterness. That was bad because she craved for love behind all that façade. She was just a helpless maiden in love who didn’t understand the weight of her words. I sighed. This was the farthest from my ideal villainess she could ever get.

“Then, I will kill her tonight,” I bowed respectfully before retreating to the door.

“Stop!” she shouted, much to my dismay. I thought this was the day for the blackening of the villain, but I got it all wrong. But time was one thing I had, and this world was bound to blacken her sooner or later. “Not today. Even though I know that you will take utmost caution, I don’t want to take any risks. I need you beside me until I become eighteen at least.”

Her reasoning left me speechless, though. “Are you worried about me, my lady?” About me? An undead? Does she think I’ll get caught by those lowly patrols?

“You don’t ask me questions, Rudolf,” she snarled and collapsed on her adorned bed. “Mongrels ought to stay mongrels.”

“That’s so sweet of you, my lady,” I made a remark and turned off the lights. No maids came to her service because she was an abandoned daughter of Marquis Valorat. Indeed a good subject for blackening, for she lacked love. And I had enough machinations in store.

I took new sheets from the cupboard and draped them over her. She was lying helplessly in her nightgown, and I mentally sighed. Too defenseless for a sixteen-year-old, despite the sharp tongue.

I closed the door to the balcony and cast a [Ward] that was impregnable for the lower mages of this world. Handicap, I said, but I meant only overpowered spells. I might change my decisions, too, because this world was overridden with strong magicians. The one who created this world was particularly lax in distributing powers. Then again, not using assault magic for twenty-five years did count as a handicap.

“Good night, my lady,” I said and retreated out of the door. The deserted corridor greeted me as always, and I ambled to my room, which was right next to her chamber. After all, we were the only two people living in the entire western courtyard overridden by cobwebs, which I was least inclined to clean.

My safe house was almost one-fourth the size of her chamber, with a single table, against the window and a cot. Hard one because I deterred the fluffiness of cotton or whatever went underneath those cushions. I opened my diary and made a note as always.

Nothing worth mentioning.

Occasionally, something did change in the monotonous notebook, but it was nothing significant. In my first world, I had millions of such books buried in a secret underground chamber, which most of the treasure hunters thought were volumes of ancient magic. High priests, mages, and kings of various centuries tried deciphering them, but it was the language only I knew. Well, even if they did, apart from my entries on constipation, they wouldn’t find anything worthwhile.

I closed the book and placed it in my drawer. My parents in this world had been good people, perhaps too good for a hideous villain behind the child’s innocence. Nonetheless, I was sold to the Marquis Valorat according to the storyline. I had no clue about the bearings of the future, for it wouldn’t be any fun if I did know. Except for my magic, I had no cheats. That’s why I would enjoy this life to the fullest before moving on to the next. Even if it meant serving the villainess with utmost sincerity until she blackened. As per the wishes of the world.

With that thought, I collapsed on the bed, remembering my work for tomorrow. Washing the villainess’s clothes took priority, for I have been pushing it away for almost a week now. Then accompanying her to the academy. It was about time for me to start teaching her magic, too, for she wouldn’t graduate at her current rate.

If I say I am not enjoying this life, that would be a lie. I doubt I am a masochist, so it must be that uncertainty about the future excites me. Indeed, because my actions won’t decide my fate alone this time around.

All in all, I hope Letitia Valorat becomes a great villainess who will be remembered for centuries in this world. And this humble undead would nip every bud that strays her away from her destined path. This means getting rid of the crown prince holds precedence if she doesn’t get her head straight in the next few weeks.

Until then, I will enjoy eating as many loaves of bread as possible.