“I don’t want to stay here.” Aizel is like a child, petulant and whiny when he doesn’t get his way. He doesn’t understand things like he should at times. He only understands the things that he wants to understand.

Felix watched the boy for a moment before, “Working for Tanya really isn’t that bad.” Working with Natalia was a different story though. She’d probably like Aizel anyways; at least once she stops connecting him to Felix. It wasn’t Felix’s fault that the woman disliked him.

“And what am I supposed to do? Sit at some bar serving alcohol I’m not even allowed to drink?” Aizel leans down to snatch up one of the loose rocks on the side of the road. He stares at it for a good second, turning it every which way before throwing it ahead of them.

“Research. Talk to people; really, bars are a great place to find out information. Look into that murder or whatever anti-nephlim groups that are sprouting up. Get more detailed information on that hospital of yours or-”

“Which, I can do all of that with you guys. How could I even tell you guys anything when you’re gone?” Aizel fishes a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket as he stills to a stop. “It’s not like you guys like to carry around phones. What am I supposed to do? Find a way to teleport letters to you?”

Felix sighs, pinching his nose. If he knew Aizel was going to throw a fit he would have found some other way to tell him. Or not tell him at all, and he and Rizeal would have just hit the road without the boy. The world was just so quiet and empty though, everything simply dancing at the edge of his mind, but never close enough for him to catch up with it. “Look, kiddo-”

“And that!” Aizel sharply turns towards Felix as he swipes a single fag out and lights it up. “I’m not a kid. Just because I’m what- ten? Twenty? Years younger than you doesn’t make me a child.” He sucks in a toxic inhale as he fumes.

“Aizel.”

Smoke explodes from Aizel’s mouth before he continues, “No- Don’t- You told me I could make a difference! You said I could help! So why would you guys send me away? I can help.” He jabs the cigarette in Felix’s direction with a scowl.

“Aizel, it’s not that. Look-”

“You guys don’t even know anyone from the CME. Or what buildings they use or-”

“Aizel.” The name is snapped out before Felix can stop it. He gives a sigh; the temptation to snatch the cigarette out of Aizel’s hand an uncomfortable itch.

Aizel turns away, lips a thin line before he goes to take another inhale around the fag.

“We aren’t clueless.” Felix makes sure his voice is soft, gentle. As if he was talking to some scared child. Aizel’s entire posture is frigid, teeth clenched tight and fingers trembling around his fag. “Tanya’s was only a suggestion. Yes, you can help us, but you can help us either with us or working at Tanya’s. And if you’re with us there’s a lot more risk involved.”

“I’m not saying you are. It’s just-” Another puff of smoke escapes Aizel’s lips.

“You don’t even like traveling.” Felix adds.

“I know. It’s just,” Aizel kicks at the gravel around their feet.

“I understand you want to help. We are simply trying to look out for you, and Tanya’s is the best thing I can find.”

Aizel sulks, taking in another pull from the cigarette before releasing the smoke into the air. He looks up at the sky, eyes shut and freckled skin embracing the sun. “I don’t want to stay here.” He repeats.

“What’s so bad about here?” What Felix would do for the world to be loud again. He hated when the air was empty and light; it always took him off balance and he hated the feeling of falling into empty air.

Honey eyes flicker open and another puff of smoke slithers into the air. “I want to help. In more ways than just sitting in a bar and being another pretty face.” Aizel’s voice is quiet, as if he was telling a secret and didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“You’re looking into things, remember? That’s helping.”

A scoff and suddenly Aizel is staring straight at Felix, “Yeah. Big help I was, a newspaper article did all my work for me. There was nothing for me to do.” He spits out the words as if they were acid.

“And what of the anti-nephlim organization?” It’s bait, Felix falling into the more familiar dance of dangling the carrot in front of Aizel.

“It’s not. Nobody I talked to heard anything about some organization in the area. No recruitment, no noise. It’s probably just some mercenary group picking up odd jobs.”

“And did the newspaper say that?”

“No, but-” Aizel huffs when Felix swats at the back of his head.

“Stop worrying. You’re helping. Just imagine, if you were working at the bar you could pick up more gossip than usual.” Felix flashes a grin as Aizel snorts.

“Yeah, from old farts like you.” There’s a pause and for a second Felix thinks that they are done. Everything is quiet, calm like a spring breeze on a sunny morning. Then-

“Did I do something wrong?”

Felix closes his eyes, tries to find something other than the quiet stillness that surrounds his mind. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong.” If it wasn’t quiet he’d understand. He wouldn’t have to ask, “Why do you think you did something wrong?”

“Why else would you send me away? You aren’t sending anyone else away.” Aizel hovers over his cigarette and refuses to look away from his hand.

“It’s only me and Rizeal that are leaving.”

“But-” Aizel pauses before releasing a puff of smoke with the words, “Why can’t I come with you?”

All Felix has to offer is a sigh. “Come on, we need to stop dallying. Rizeal is waiting for us.” He waits a second, watches as Aizel seems to deflate like a balloon that was just pricked before he thumps the boy’s shoulder. “If you can get Rizeal to agree to it, you can tag along.”

It was a dirty move, sure. He’d do it again though. Aizel perks up, flicking his cigarette to the side before increasing the length of his strides. “Really? Do you think she will?”

“I don’t know what you are getting all excited for. It’s not a vacation. We’re going to Atynik to recruit people while participating in a rally.” Felix huffs out, the words dragging across his tongue as he speaks.

“When was that decided?”

“It was what was originally planned if we did pick up Tyria, and it’s down south so it’s close enough to Mavinsport.” There’s a house in the distance, a small little thing. Felix already knows what he’ll see when he’s closer, rusted hinges on a door that’s on the brink of falling apart and shuttered windows tucked into the walls. It isn’t his house though, some abandoned place that Rizeal picked the lock for years ago. “You’ve never been here, have you?”

Aizel pounces on the idea within seconds, “Is it some secret location? Home base or something? I thought Andrea’s was a bit on the small side.” The boy talks too fast, completely blowing over every single word with the one after.

“Nothing like that, it’s a… home away from home. For when Laqrea gets too loud.” Or when they need to pay their respects. When the Godlings demand more things out of them than they can give. The hovel is a safety net, with a hole burned clean through.

It’s an excuse, a placebo to soothe any burns they receive in their travels.

“Laqrea isn’t loud in the winter though.” Aizel is probably thinking that the silence kills in the city during winter. Everyone hiding in their own apartments and secluding themselves from society. He doesn’t understand the difference from the quiet solitude of nothing and the quiet of a sleeping city.

The quiet nothing deafens Felix. Silence pressing in like gravity with a prejudice against anything daring to move in its presence.

“It’s not that kind of noise.”

Rizeal is sitting out on the porch with a knee hugged to her chest and her blonde head perched atop. She doesn’t even bother to give them attention as the two boys walk up the gravel path to the tiny hut.

“There’s only one kind of noise?” Aizel squints at Felix, the words dragging slowly in the air as if the answer was obvious.

“That depends entirely on your definition of noise.” Felix sighs out before bringing a hand close to his mouth and hollering, “Rizeal!”

She doesn’t even flinch. Not a single muscle moves as she keeps watching them with that blank look of hers.

Aizel jumps, feet skittering to the side as his entire body jerks. The poor boy reaches up, two fingers rubbing at his ears as he sends Felix the dirtiest look he can muster, “Did you have to yell?”

A grin consumes Felix’s face as he says, “Have to show some excitement else she’ll think we don’t care.”

“Maybe we don’t.” That’s a bold faced lie if Felix ever heard one. The boy was too young to not care. Not enough life experiences to make him a pessimist.

“Don’t get salty on me now.” Felix nudges Aizel with his elbow as he gives the boy a wolfish smile, “Don’t you have a question for Rizeal anyways?”

The boy’s head jerked up so fast that there was a risk for whiplash. Amber eyes wide as he glanced at Felix before staring at Rizeal as if she had all the answers. It was probably cruel of him, but Felix couldn’t stop the laugh from bubbling up from his chest.

The young boy was too predictable. His strides got longer, faster. Aizel’s mind most likely a one track road and only thinking of one thing.

Rizeal stops her blatant staring as soon as Aizel is a few yards away. She just gives him a cursory glance before turning ice cold eyes towards Felix, “Is there a reason for Aizel being here?”

Aizel freezes, foot hovering uselessly in the air before he turns slightly to stare at Felix with wide eyes.

Felix figures he should count his lucky stars that Aizel didn’t go straight to the offensive. Obviously the kid was still wounded from earlier and was trying to avoid stepping on any toes.

“Had something to tell him, and figured he could share the information he has with you instead of me playing middle man. You know my memory is faulty sometimes.” Aizel look back over at Rizeal with his chin up high as if daring her to argue with Felix.

Rizeal simply rolls her eyes. “Well come on, we have limited time.”

“Why would we have limited time?” Aizel is striding up to the porch, head cocked to the side as the words escape him. Felix pauses for a second to shake his head before following him.

“Because of the rally. In Atynik. It starts in two weeks, kid.”

Aizel turns around to stare at Felix, face morphing into a scowl as he starts, “I’m not a-“ He gives a huff before finishing with, “Atynik is only a week’s journey at most. There’s plenty of time.”

“Not if you keep dallying.” Rizeal snaps. She’s standing in the open door watching the two. If Felix could hear her through the stifling silence he’s sure she’d be cursing the two of them. There are benefits to having his mind smothered with the emptiness of the air.

“Yes, my dear. We’re hurrying.” Felix beams at her as he pushes Aizel forward. The boy simply spins around and shuffles his feet forward.

“My dear.” Her voice is flat as she echoes the sentiment.

“Dear. Honey. Love. Sunshine of my life. Star of my night-“

“Shut up. Please, before I lose any more brain cells.” There’s a twitch of a smile though so Felix takes it as a victory.

“Yes, sweetheart. Anything for you.”Aizel’s moving faster, edging further away from Felix as if he could escape the incessant words. Rizeal takes sympathy on the boy and lets him dart into the house before blocking the door again.

“But seriously, why did you bring him?” Her voice is low, eyes darting to the side as if she could see behind herself.

“He’s got nothing else, and what’s the harm. I figured if he’s staying he could watch over the house.”

“Yes, because this house needs protecting. What’s going to happen? A pair of grave robbers going to try to pilfer this rotting mess?” Rizeal pushes herself away from the doorway before heading deeper into the house.

“You never know. I think we have a very unique table set in the cupboards that they would want to steal.” Given, if they were grave robbers they would be hitting the backyard rather than the house itself.

“You’re stupid.” Rizeal calls over her shoulder, her voice the embodiment of exasperation.

“Only for you!” Felix sings as he chases after her.

Once they get to the kitchen the smile is wiped clean off Felix’s face. There’s piles of newspapers, clippings from magazines, and letters all scattered about in some haphazard way.

“What did you even do.” He can feel his lip curling and nose wrinkling at the sight. He didn’t even know where to begin. Aizel looks up, amber eyes wide as if getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. He’s holding one of the letters close to his face.

“I didn’t do anything!” The words are snapped, the letter being thrust away and released to the wilds of the other paper.

“I just grabbed everything that seemed helpful.” Rizeal isn’t even fazed. She just walks in and plops down on one of the rickety chairs.

“But that’s mine-“ Felix is aghast, hands hanging in the air as if it could help with anything. “Please tell me that’s not mine.” The words are a beg and he’s swiveling his attention towards Rizeal.

“Sure. It’s not yours.” She plucks up the letter Aizel dropped. The poor kid just sits there, nibbling on his lip as he watches the two. “Why’d you pick up this one?”

Felix wishes he could tell if she’s lying. Actually, he knows she’s lying. She’s got this little twitch of a smile as she tries to redirect the attention on Aizel. “You’re lying.”

Blue eyes glance over at Felix and her face morphs into the picture of innocence as she says, “How could I lie to you? I’m the sunshine of your life remember?”

“Uhm, those- he worked with the CME a lot.” Aizel throws out the words like they’re a grenade and he’s just waiting for it to go off.

“What? Who is it?” Felix reaches over to snag the letter out of Rizeal’s grasp. She relents without a fight, merely rolling her eyes before drifting her attention elsewhere in the chaotic pile.

The letter is from some Dr. Atonia, professing the dangers of a gathering of nephlims of both strands of the disease. Someone who mainly researched the long lasting effects of the disease. He… Felix couldn’t remember actually.

“He stopped by the hospital pretty frequently, liked to pull from the records.” Aizel fills in without being prompted. His eyes have gone big as he leans forward to peek at the letter again. “Quiet guy, he never really talked to anyone.”

“And he just waltzed into a CME facility?” It’s got Rizeal’s attention, her soft voice ringing in the air.

“I mean- I don’t- I’m sure he didn’t waltz in. There’s a,” Aizel flounders, hand gesturing at his chest before he decides on, “clearance? A badge. So, he didn’t just waltz in.”

“Hmm, he doesn’t have any affiliation to the CME noted in his signature.” Felix skims over the letter again, “Do you think he’d try to ban gatherings of nephlims? That’s something the CME would probably go for.”

“Not like we’ll hear of it before it happens.” Rizeal looks away, browsing through the piles of papers again.

“If you look hard enough, there is always a paper trail.” Felix hums before, “There’s probably going to be CME at the rally.”

“To keep the peace. Yeah.” The kid rolls his eyes before bringing his attention to the mess on the table. “I had to do it once. Pulled the short straw, anyone can do it because they don’t actually expect anything to happen and we were trained enough to fire a gun or whatever they wanted us to do.”

“How many did they have standing by?” Rizeal flicks through a piece of paper before freezing, blue eyes darting up to Felix. She probably found Aizel’s notes about the suspected mercenaries. That, or it was something else that Felix missed; he’s been stuffing everything that could be relevant to the rally in the single binder and he didn’t go over half of it before handing it off to Rizeal.

It was orderly though, at least when he had it. Obviously not after Rizeal got her hands on it and sprawled the contents all over the dining room of the little cottage.

“It was a small one, so we had… four watches? Yeah, four watches. For something big there’d probably be closer to ten. Or twenty if they think it might get rowdy.”

Felix leans over Rizeal’s shoulder, skimming over the words Tyria’s protest was actually supposed to be pointed towards the research facilities than anything else. Daclin Anders (Metchkins University) said she frequently wrote letters to their board and threatened to report them for nephlim abuse and neglect because their studier were inhumane.

“What’s this rally about again?” Felix muses, reaching over to turn the page.

“Focusing of segregation. Jobs. I think Sam mentioned the research facilities too, but something more like opening the tests as a job opportunity? Since a lot of things make sense in the logical way of keeping the disease contained, but they’re still people so not having a job makes them face hard choices and unsavory paths.”

“Who’s Sam?” Aizel stops his pilfering of the stacks of paper to stare at the other two.

“Old friend.” Rizeal grabs half of the stack and hands it to Felix when he tries to turn the page again. “Go bother someone else.” A hand waves behind her and Felix laughs before placing the pile back on the table.

“Come on, we can look at this later. We have other things to do.”

“Like what?” Aizel drops the notes in his hands as he stands up.

“Not you. You can figure out where the CME officers are going to be, there should be a map somewhere in this disaster.” Felix waves at the kid, watching as his face crumbles like a sandcastle in the middle of a storm.

“But-“ Aizel looks away, lips pouting and eyebrows drawn low before he turns and his excitement spills into the open air, “Does that mean I’m coming with you guys?”

Silence ticks like a bomb before Felix says, “I told you, that’ll be up to-“

“No.” Rizeal doesn’t even look up as she throws down the words.

The results might as well be a detonation with the way Aizel flinches, his mouth a pinched line before blurting out, “Why not? I can help! I can- I can-“

“Get caught? The place will be swarming with CME, so you won’t even be able to do what you usually do and play pretend to get information.” She shifts through the stack in front of her again.

“Plus,” Felix watches as the boy withers away, probably thinking that Rizeal is heartless. His amber eyes flicker over to Felix as the older man says, “You haven’t even been out of the CME for a year. The chances of them recognizing you would be quite high. You’d be stuck hiding the entire time.”

“But I could point out if anyone dangerous came. Like, you guys would never recognize Death. Never. I could, I can spot him a mile away, what if he shows up? Or if it’s someone else high up in the ranks?” The boy’s eyes are wide and desperate as he stands and makes aborted gestures with his hands.

Felix wishes he could actually hear. That it there wasn’t a stifling silence smothering his mind. “Aizel, this isn’t our first time dealing with the CME.” It’s a gentle reminder, a small nudge to get the boy thinking.

“But I could-“

Rizeal drops the pretense of reading to stare at the boy, “You could what? Hide? Your parlor trick won’t work in that city, everyone is too used to the CME to think that one of them is gonna talk gossip with them. You’ve never even been in that city before so it’s not like you’ll be able to point out where they usually gravitate.”

Aizel looks like he swallowed something unpleasant, shifting a step back as his entire body caves in. It’s heartbreaking, in an odd sort of way. It’s like watching the boy’s hopes and dreams getting crushed, Felix was just lucky not to hear it.

It’d be a frozen lake that thawed just enough to crack under Rizeal’s words.

“How about this,” Felix shoots a look at Rizeal as she gives a sigh before continuing, “you find out who killed Tyria Ionar and you can come with us. You’ll need evidence though, paperwork. The whole deal.”

It’s an impossible task for such a short amount of time. It’s enough to have Aizel stop cowering, holding his chin high as he gives the brightest smile, “Deal!”

Rizeal just looks at Felix, face a frozen landscape and he’s sure she’s thinking hope you know what you are doing. When does he ever know what he’s doing? She trusts him though, she’ll always trust him, so Felix just grins and pats her back, “Well, we have things to we need to do first.”

“What kind of things?”

“Adult things. Kids should stick with the paperwork.” Felix just grins at the dirty look Aizel sends him as the boy turns his attention back to the disaster of a table. “Just think, you can have a head start on finding the mercenaries.”

Felix pats the kid’s back as he walks past. He doesn’t need to look back to see the mocking movement of the boy’s head, he doesn’t even need to be able to hear to know the disgruntled whispers that escaped the boy before he sighs and rustles through the paper. Rizeal is on Felix’s heels without even a pause.

“Let me guess,” She closes the door to the dining room behind her with a soft snick before continuing, “contingency plan? Thought he was going to be babysitting the house.”

“He is, it’s just something to get his mind off things. Plus, we could use the information anyways so what’s the harm?” He offers her a shrug before heading out the backdoor.

The backyard was a graveyard. In both the metaphorical and literal sense. Or, as much as a dead yard can be a graveyard with only one grave in it. There’s a tree, broken and failing to reach the sky on the outskirts of the yard and dying bramble everywhere else.

It was the first place they stumbled upon when they were on the run after robbing some funeral home. Felix can still remember watching as Rizeal’s hands trembled as she picked a lock to a rusty old house. It was just for a quick break, but-

It was an escape. There was no magic, and nothing to connect them to this house, or the house the crimes, or anything. So they stayed, and stayed and eventually they dug a hole in the backyard and dropped the ceramic pot into it before burying it.

The gravestone was a silver river rock with the name Felix Satchins chipped into it. Or, that’s what used to be chipped into it. Years out in the rainy weather eroded it so that the bits that weren’t deeply etched in the rock had vanished to nothing. Meaningful in a way it was never supposed to be.

“Did you know that I was the one to talk to him first?”

Rizeal doesn’t even ask who, she just hums. As she crouches next to the stone.

“He was ashamed of his magic, his mum told him to hide it away and everything. And I was thinking, that’s a sure shame. To hide something like that. I don’t know if he ever told you that.”

“You’re getting quite maudlin over there.”

Felix sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose before looming over both Rizeal and the misshapen river rock. It wasn’t even that pretty, they could have picked something better. Should have.

“I just feel like history is repeating itself. Godlings forbid if it does. I don’t think we have anything left to offer between the two of us.”

“Could always offer up Aizel or Natalia.” There’s a smirk gracing Rizeal’s lips as she says the words.

Felix can’t help but laugh as he says, “Yes, let’s offer up the kid and the druid. Then history will be repeating itself. Could you imagine?”

A thoughtful hum before she says, “I don’t think Aizel could pass of as Natalia or vice versa. Wrong genders, you know?” Felix shakes his head as she looks up at him. “Aren’t you the one always saying everything is going to be okay?”

He is. Optimism; someone had to have it and Rizeal wasn’t going to be the one to pick up on what they lost so Felix did. Forced optimism, which was better than none, but the real deal would always be superior. He shuts his eyes, lets a grim smile take his lips before saying, “And everything is going to be alright. What else do we have to lose?”

“Don’t tempt the Godlings, Felix.” Rizeal looks back at the grave and reaches out to touch the soil. It’s probably frozen solid. Harsh and rough and dead. Normally, the burials would be warm and soft. Normally, those held within the walls of the earth walked among the Godlings though.

Ashes could never walk, only haunt.

“They can be quite cruel when tempted.” Her words are soft, a whisper in the frigid wind before she stands up and turns to face Felix.

“I think I already know of their cruelty. Hasin did not play nice when we asked for their help.” He touches one of the thin cuts slicing up his face. It’s a barely there edge, something faint but glaringly obvious if you know what to look for.

“Some would say they showed their generosity when you survived.” Rizeal moves away, heading towards the house as she looks for something. Felix shut his eyes, envisioning everything he was missing and would never have again.

“It always feels blasphemous when we do this.” Felix waits for the telltale ripple of laugher to float into the air as Rizeal came back.

“Going against your religious little heart, are we?” She’s holding a bushel of weeds and prayer beads as she stops at the foot of the stone.

“A little. The Godlings never liked fire.”

“Good thing we aren’t getting luck from them.” And she drops the weeds and beads down onto the river rock. There’s a second of silence before Felix reaches down with one of Aizel’s many lighters and sets fire to the weeds.

“May we have a safe journey until we come back.” He whispers to the smoke.

“Watch over us forever and always.” Rizeal’s words are lost in the wind and the two stand there, watching the bushel turn to ash and the prayer beads waste away into nothing.

Felix touches his cheek, finger grazing one of the slivers before he shuts his eyes. “We should have offered blood.”

“You always say that.”

“He offered his life, it’s the least we could do.”

Rizeal leans into Felix’s arm, a steady warmth and a solid ground to stand on if everything else were to fall apart. “And you offered your magic.”

A dry laugh before, “I think, if we are going into the specifics, that’s what killed him.”

The smoke is sour, pungent as the beads burn. It’s what regret would smell like, if regret had a smell.

“Come on, you got a kid to babysit.” Rizeal nudges at him again.

“Not babysitting.” Felix protests, finally opening his eyes to take one last look at the river rock with its pile of ashes. Maybe now the soil around it would be soft as the haunting soul returned, but-

He’d never know. He didn’t dare to test it.

“It’s definitely babysitting. You have a soft spot for all the useless ones.”

There’s another nudge before the warmth vanishes and Felix is left standing on his own. He shuts his eyes before turning and,

“Goodbye Nathan, until next time.”

He goes back inside to the decrepit little house and continues to plot changing the world for the better.