Chapter 70: The Long Eared Guardian 10

Arden woke up the next morning. He seems to have slept harder. The heart seems to have made him comfortable. He looked everywhere and saw that Lafiel was nowhere to be found. That was a given, he thought. She was someone that has a tribe to protect and she cannot stay huddled in the hollowed tree. Outside the rays of the sun could be seen. Arden raised himself up and started rubbing his hands together. He looked at the heart and with a mutter, he converted his energy into a fire. The fire approached the heart and embers were bone. He took some wood that he fetched and put them inside the heart. He was hungry so he started cooking meat. The meat still has the smell of the paste he rubbed on it so he roasted it until it was golden brown.

He took the meat from the heart and started eating. Every bite put flavor in his mouth. He ate heartily before finishing up and taking care of things around. He wore his other equipment and went outside. The snow was waist deep already and if it wasn’t for the hollow tree’s size then he would have been buried in the snow.

What’s happening, he thought. He should have felt the watchful eye of Lafiel and her raging Mana but it was nowhere to be found. He sensed the area but still, he could find nothing. Thud, his heart spoke and immediately he ran to the direction where the camp is. He raced through the woods and to the open snow field and arrives near an elevated position.

The camp was there. The people are still there. He weaves a sigh but still, he could not feel Lafiel and her lake-like Mana around. He could feel her coming with her presence but still, it was almost like she vanished. He wanted to find out so he headed down the Camp. Arriving in the Camp the men of the tribe immediately narrowed their eyes and drew their weapons. Arden put his hands up and told them no hard. He only wanted to know if Lafiel was still there. Hearing the long eared guardian’s name, the people who pointed their spears at him showed gloom. He narrowed his eyes and looked everywhere but he could still not feel her. What happened when he fell asleep?

He was lost in thought but then a woman of elderly age confronted him. She introduced herself as the village mother of the tribe and then explained to Arden what happened yesterday. From the arrival of the Sun’s Crown bearer and Lafiel being taken away by that bearer.

Arden feared immediately when he heard the Sun’s Crown. He’s known the sun’s crown in the Academy. He learned of their Inquisitors and brutal the Sun’s Crown can be. The Village Mother probably saw the dire look on Arden’s face. She told him that the Knight was lenient enough. In fact, it was lucky that she was taken by that Knight instead of Zealous Inquisitor. Arden wasn’t happy and asks what she did wrong.

Her blood was the one thing wrong. The village mother said. It was either to hand her to the Sun’s Crown or face the might of the Sun’s crown. The village mother told Arden that they wanted to fight for her. But Lafiel instead surrendered to the Knight rather than bring disaster to the tribe.

She was given a choice and she chooses to protect the tribe. Arden didn’t like her choice, not at all. He wanted to kick himself for not being able to help her but what can he do? There was no way for him to fight against the Sun’s Crown and not to mention that she chooses to save the lives of the tribesmen.

The village mother already told Arden everything. She presumed Arden was the friend Lafiel made. She’d told her about Arden and how he was lost and before leaving the tribe she told the village mother to guide him to the main roads. It was the one thing she could do for Arden who was lost in the world. It was Lafiel’s last request to the village so the village mother would obviously grant it. So the village mother took Arden to her tent. Arden followed wordlessly in the tent. The village mother handed him some of the maps and told him to make use of it. It was heavily detailed. Arden could feel that it was far better than the maps given by Mesh Academy. The village mother told Arden that the maps of the Nomads are much more precise than any maps out there. They wander the land and they know the way very well. So obviously they would have a better grasp of the land. Arden asks if it’s right to take it. The village mother told him it was okay. It was Lafiel’s map anyway and that she already knows the road more than everyone. The village mother was rather sad. Arden could feel it. He didn’t know Lafiel that well. But even so, he feels like refusing to have the map would be an insult. She helped him even though she was going to be taken. He wondered why they barely speak for days. He was confused but nonetheless, he could only accept this kindness.

Having the map saves him from being lost. Saved, it looks like he was saved again. Arden felt like that he was always being saved by people. He liked being saved hence he wanted to make other feel what it was like to be saved. But so far he hasn’t done anything remotely close to that.

Even giving him a map was akin to saving him. He honestly did not know the road and he might meet dangerous foes if he wanders aimlessly. The map that the village mother gave him would definitely allow him to steer clear of the dangerous areas. Arden felt happy for the map. He told the village mother how thankful he is and mutely he left.

...

Arden felt sadness weigh on his heart. He went back inside the hollow tree and moped. He studied the map for the whole morning. He was trying his best to forget about Lafiel. She was taken by the Sun’s Crown and it was her choice. He felt that it was rather passing. The blue haired girl with round eyes and long ears seems like a shadow to him. She appeared ethereally and then vanished ethereally.

He felt like she was a ghost. She’s not dead he understands that. But with how she is being taken to the Sun’s Crown. He felt that her life is really in danger. If he didn’t get pushed off a cliff and suffered. He would have rushed mindlessly and tried to save her anyway. Even if she doesn’t need his help, Arden will save her. He was that foolish but now he was merely a shadow of himself. His heart is brittle as glass. He suspects that helping her would cause more damage. He knew that she did all of that because of her tribe. Who is he to save her? In fact, she has saved him just by giving him the map of hers. He barely knew and likewise, she only knew him lately.

He thinks that he was just being kind. Although there was no need to considering that she was in danger. Arden could not understand it all. He felt like the world is too confusing. His mind is filled with dread in not knowing anything. He thought that he needs to save people but what about the consequences? He doesn’t know anymore. He dropped the map on the floor. He fell after the map and then he stared at the ceiling.

What are his goals? What is he even alive for?

Arden searched his thoughts but all of it was the same thing. He wanted only one thing and that is to be thanked and smiled with joy at. He wanted to feel the smile that those who have given up directed at him. He wanted to save them yet here he was despairing in what he wanted to do.

He felt like his existence is a just one cut out paper. He fooled himself that he wanted to save people. Indeed he truly wanted it so but yet he feels like he lacks something very important when it comes to saving people.

Arden tried to understand what he is lacking but obviously, he could not grasp it.

Arden lacks the judgment.

He does not care for right or wrong. He simply will help those wanted to be helped. Whether they betray him or not he will save them from whatever they need help from. That’s why when he fell down the cliff he didn’t feel angry. He felt joy when he got thanked by the Lady and even though her smile was cruel, he was happy to help.

No matter how cruel the person is he would help him. He knew a little about good and bad but Arden will fell to the wrong hands if he doesn’t think on what the consequences will be. The world is filled with evil and Arden can and will help them. But for the first time in his life, he felt that he was wrong.

After being pushed off the cliff and now being helped again made him wonder.

Was he truly helping?

Because when he thinks about it, he felt like he was a mindless puppet. He feels like a hypocrite. He feels like there is something wrong with him.

Does he truly care for others? Or he just really wanted to be thanked because it gives him pleasure?

Arden doesn’t know.