《There's a demon in my bed and she keeps stealing all my energy drinks》2. The Arm Breaker

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Two weeks had passed since Anna’s arrival.

In that time, she’d visited the shop, June had taken her shopping, and the local bar staff had named a cocktail “The Arm Breaker” in her honour. She’d even stopped calling him every hour just to make sure he was coming home.

The reason? Anna had got addicted to video games, specifically first person shooters and real time strategy games. It wasn’t Eric’s doing, he tended to play puzzle games and visual novels, It was Jessica’s.

As a result, Eric had to sit through several rants on how unrealistic the magical combat systems were. It was the most Anna had talked about her original world, and Eric was quite happy to listen to her talk about things he had no hope of understanding.

All things considered, Anna was doing pretty well for someone who’d only been on Earth for two weeks.

Meanwhile, Eric wasn’t doing as well. He still had to contend with the real world, specifically the now doubled cost of living. For the next two weeks, Anna would have to cut back on her energy drink habit. He knew she would not take the news well.

He’d planned to talk to her after work about the money issues, but upon seeing the small nest of takeout and discarded drink cans, he realised he couldn’t put things off any longer.

“Anna. We need to talk.”

“No talk. Just fetch. Need Drink.” She waved at him without looking up from the video game. “Hurry Minion.”

She’d drunk maybe 40 cans a day and insisted it was fine, explaining that she’d checked her status with magic. Eric wasn’t as convinced.

“That’s just it Anna. I can’t afford to keep buying you drinks. We need to chat …”

“Can it wait? I am almost finished demolishing these weaklings.”

“Jessica has been a bad influence on you.” Eric sighed. “It can wait, but, like I said, I can’t afford to keep buying you energy drinks.”

“One sec.” Anna went through a flurry of button mashing. “Done.”

In the span of about thirty seconds, Anna had utterly decimated her opponents. They didn’t take it well. He could see various messages scrolling down the screen, screaming about cheats and hacks.

“Explain.” Anna stared at him. No Drinks?” She was hoping he was kidding.

“Anna. I… We need to cut back. On Everything. Especially the energy drinks…”

As predicted, she did not take the news well. She looked as if he’d stabbed her through the heart.

“… you need to cut back, I can only afford two cases this week.”

She looked as if she were about to cry.

“… It’s that or cut back on food. Well, I have to cut back on food, too. I have to start cooking at home, no more takeout.”

For a moment, Eric forgot he was talking to an otherworldly demon, and instead felt like he was talking to a misbehaving puppy. He tussled her hair but she shrugged him off and began to pout.

“… We’ll work something out, ok?”

Anna didn’t reply.

“Just have a think about how we can save money, please?”

“Some minion you are.” Anna pouted. “Can’t you ask June for more money?”

Eric rolled his eyes. He’d expected a reaction like this. Anna had dropped enough hints to reveal that she’d grown up with wealth and opportunity. She was used to having servants. She was used to getting her own way.

“I will ask June, but I’ll also see if there’s extra any work around the shop.”

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Anna put her headphones back on and went back to gaming. “Fine.”

Eric wasn’t sure what else he could do, beyond cut back the spending and asking June for more money. Anna wasn’t exactly prepared for the world of employment.

She had no identification, she had no bank account, she didn’t have much in the way of work experience outside of crushing enemies, and frankly, he worried that any real job would attract too much attention.

Eric sighed, “I’ll see you after work. Please try not to drink all the cans.”

Anna didn’t reply, but Eric could see her frowning and mumbling something under her breath.

With one difficult conversation over, he headed to work, knowing full well that another difficult conversation awaited him.

He expected it to go a little something like this: “June. I need a raise.” “No.”

After Eric left, Anna took out her frustration by crushing her online enemies. She didn’t hold back, either. She didn’t pay much attention to the chatter, but it was pretty obvious that her actions were causing no small amount of upset.

Good.

Anna tried not to fall into a mood, but it wasn’t easy. She’d been banished from her home, she had to pretend to be human, and now the one good thing, the energy drinks, needed to be rationed.

Even so, she knew better than to take out her frustration on Eric. He had been a very good minion, even though he did worry a bit too much sometimes. He went into a complete panic the first time she’d left the house by herself. He also cut down any suggestion that she should get a job, or help.

It was one thing to say she could cut back but it was another thing entirely to prevent her from finding her own ways to pay. She didn’t enjoy being stuck inside all day, and hadn’t pushed back on Eric for fear of seeming ungrateful.

It was nice to be supported but she resented being treated like she was incompetent. She’d lead armies, destroyed continents, fought gods and won. Earning money wasn’t the insurmountable task Eric thought it was. That, and she was very unhappy about being told to cut back on the energy drinks.

Anna sighed. She’d have to have a talk with Eric, too.

A knock on the door interrupted Anna’s plans to sulk all day.

“Anna? Are you in?” It sounded like Jessica.

Anna thought about hiding her appearance, then got angry about it, and decided she didn’t care. Worst case, she’d have to bite a new person.

“Hey Anna!” “Hey.” “I brought you your favourite.” “Oh.”

Jessica had only known Anna for two weeks, but that was long enough to know how Anna was supposed to react to free energy drinks. She realised something was definitely up, and knew it was almost certainly Eric’s fault.

“Are you OK?” Jessica asked. “What did Eric do?”

“He didn’t… well…” Anna sighed. “It’s money. I don’t have a job, and I cost money.”

Anna slumped down into the sofa, and Jessica followed suit.

“Wanna talk about it?” Anna handed over one of the energy drinks. “Maybe play some video games?”

Anna sighed. “It’s complicated.”

She didn’t want to break her promise to Eric, but on the other hand, Jessica did feel like someone she could trust. Worst case, she could bite her again and gently edit out the awkward memories.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.” Jessica frowned. “I know there’s some sort of secret between you and Eric, but…”

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“It’s. Um. So.” Anna banged her head against the back of the sofa. “Eric doesn’t make a lot of money, and he’s been paying for me these last two weeks, but I don’t really have anyone else to turn to.”

Jessica nodded. She’d worked out that much already.

It was already pretty weird that a girl had moved into his apartment, but weirder still that Eric had never mentioned her before. She still hadn’t worked out exactly what was going on between them, either.

“I would get a job but… I don’t have any ID, no birth certificate, no drivers license, no bank account, nothing.” Jess began to mumble. “It was lost in the accident.”

There was something Anna wasn’t saying, and Jess picked up on the hint. She decided to ask a few gentle questions to see if Anna wanted to talk about it.

“Oh. Yikes.” Jessica sighed. “I assume you can’t get new ones, right?”

“Yeah…” Anna sighed.

“I won’t tell anyone, but, you… you’re not exactly from around here, are you?”

“You might say that, yes.”

“… and I assume going home is out of the question too?”

“Scientifically impossible.” Anna sighed. “I was banished.”

Jessica was a little confused by the answer, but decided it wasn’t the time or place to ask Anna to explain herself. Anna, on the other hand, decided it was exactly the right time to explain herself.

“Don’t panic, Jessica, but…” She suppressed the spell that had been keeping Jess from noticing the very obvious. “I’m really, really not from around here.”

Jessica froze in place. She blinked a couple of times and rubbed her eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” She started to pinch her arm. “You…you’re purple!?”

“Yes.” Anna pointed to her head. “I also have horns, too… and a tail.”

“A TAIL!” Jessica quickly covered her mouth, then repeated herself in a whisper. “A…tail?”

Anna pulled out her tail from underneath, “Yep. No. You can’t touch it. Or the horns.”

“um. uh. wha..?” Jess wanted to deny it, but it had been her next question. “How did you.. uh?”

“Different universe, I think.” Anna explained, “I got in a fight with a goddess and lost. Long story.”

Jessica stared back.

To some extent, it made total sense. Who else would move in with Eric but an alien with nowhere else to go. It also explained why Eric had been so secretive of late. Her mind began to race as all of the pieces fell into place.

“Is that why you’re so good at video games? Magic? Do you have superpowers? Can you fly? “

Anna laughed. It wasn’t the reaction she’d expected.

“I have very fast reaction times. I think i’m stronger than people expect. I don’t have superpowers, but, I can do a little magic.”

“MAGIC!” Jess got overexcited again. “Can you demonstrate?”

“I already did? You didn’t notice the horns, or the tail, did you?”

Jess nodded back.

“… but I can’t really do much magic any more. It doesn’t seem to work here as well.”

“Oh.” Jess was a little disappointed. Then she realised how she sounded. “That sucks, I’m sorry. I mean, all of it.”

“All things considered, I was quite lucky to bump into Eric.”

“Maybe. He’s still a little thick headed when it comes to women.” Jessica sighed. “Anyway. Um. Do you still want to play video games? There’s a new demo out and…”

“Sure.” Anna stole Jessica’s can. “For a price.”

June didn’t arrive at work until it was almost lunch time. Eric blurted out his request immediately.

“I take it that your houseguest is burning your savings then?” June went straight to the point. “Five years and suddenly you ask for a raise? Well, …”

Eric knew what was coming. A big fat ‘No’.

“Mom!” April appeared in the doorway. “Five years and no raise?!”

“Shush.” June was not happy about the interruption. The book business wasn’t exactly high profit, and she wasn’t one to spend money if she could avoid it.

“He runs your accounts, fixes your computer, and he did up the apartment when he was staying here… wait… wait, are you still charging him rent?”

“I didn’t charge him rent, April.” June stared back at her daughter.

“She gave you a pay cut, right?” April knew all her mother’s tricks. “Didn’t she Eric?”

“Err. I… Um…” Eric hadn’t realised, but April was right. He didn’t want to fight June about it though. “It wasn’t a pay cut exactly….”

“See?” June smiled.

“But I have been covering the bills…”

“MOM!” April yelled. “Not only have you been cutting his pay, you’re charging both of us for the bills? Really?!”

“April..” June realised she’d been caught.

“Wait, you’re moving in?” Eric began. “Wait, you’re charging your daughter too?”

“Right, that’s it.” April pointed at June. “I’m going over your books, and I’m going to work out a proper salary for your best employee. You put half the business in my name, so it’s about time I act like it.”

“Daughter, Please, …”

“Mom. He runs your online store. He’s basically your business partner. “ April did not want to back down. “If it weren’t for him, you’d have nothing!”

June realised that April had a point. Without the online auctions, the business would have shut down a few years prior. If Eric left to find a new job, she’d be in deep trouble.

“I…well. You’re right April.” June began. “I had forgotten about the bills Eric, and I’m sorry about that, but, well, …”

She stopped. Eric was accepting the apology, but April wasn’t having any of it.

“Market Rate. You will pay him Market Rate, or god help me, I’ll find him a new job myself.” April was close to yelling.

“Fine.” June began, “But you’ll have to pay rent, April.”

“Mom.” April huffed. “I literally own the building. Don’t push it. I’ll cover my bills, you’ll pay Eric a market rate, and that’s final. Do you understand?”

Eric realised that he might be better off retreating to the back room until things quietened down.

“Don’t go anywhere, Eric.” April saw him dart towards the exit. “Say it. Ask for market rate or she’ll weasel out of it.”

“I.. um…” Eric sighed. “June, I love working here, but I can’t afford to do so anymore. The online auctions have really ramped up and it is getting harder to cover the server fees, and..”

April almost lost it.

Her mother wasn’t a bad person, but she was a cheap person. It was bad enough that she’d been charging for bills twice, but finding out Eric was paying for things out of pocket on his already meagre wage was the absolute breaking point.

“This company is going to pay a living wage or this company will be evicted. That’s it.” She turned to Eric. “Come with me, we’re going to go over the accounts, the bills, and then we’ll make things right.”

“… and Mom? Not. One. Word.”

April dragged Eric into the back room before June had a chance to reply.

“Wait. Business partner? You own the building?” Eric was still catching up with the news.

“To avoid paying inheritance tax, amongst other things.” April explained. “Now, where are the accounts, and while I go through them, make me a list of every expense you’ve incurred. Or else.”

“Well, it’s..”

“Don’t, Eric.” April sighed. “Yes, my mother isn’t a bad person, but this is not how you run a business. If you leave, the entire thing will topple over. I need to know exactly how much money things cost. Do not leave anything out.”

April looked up. “Oh. Mom. Make yourself useful and go get lunch. It’s your turn, isn’t it?”

Eric waited for the slam of the front door. “Thank you, April.”

The conversation had been difficult, but it looked like he might be able to afford those energy drinks after all.

June returned a few minutes later, with a rather apologetic tone.

“I got your favourites.”

June had walked off her frustration and had time to reflect on April’s words. She also realised that April was not kidding about evicting her from the book shop. She figured that it would be worth trying to smooth things over, before the topic of salary negotiation happened.

Eric was overjoyed. With the bills no longer in his name, and April promising that the company would pay for the server costs, he’d already gotten a 15% raise. After adjusting for market rate, taking into account the sheer volume of work he’d done, it ended up closer to 40%.

June pouted when the final number came out, but quickly held her tongue when April threatened to calculate backpay. That said, she did accept that Eric had been doing a lot of work for not an awful lot of money. She hadn’t realised how many things he’d been covering. Things had added up over the last five years.

“Well, I think we can call this settled then.” June began. “Eric, I’m sorry it took so long to sort these things out.”

“It’s ok June. I do understand.”

“… and April, well.. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok Mom. I know you’re a cheap-ass. Don’t worry, dinner will be my treat.”

The small peace offering was graciously accepted.

“Now, let’s get to the important details, shall we?” June smiled.

Eric and April had no idea what she meant.

“That new lady friend of yours …” June smirked. “Am I to assume she was the reason for this?”

With Eric’s pay now fixed, June felt that he owed her a little gossip in compensation.

It was all a little surreal, playing video games on the sofa with a tall, purple, horned woman, let alone the tail that waggled every time she got a headshot. That, and she really, really wanted to touch Anna’s horns.

She couldn’t begin to imagine how weird it must be for Anna. A whole different universe, arriving without any family, or friends, or any way back. She made a mental note to buy a few more energy drinks, in lieu of knowing how she could help.

“So what’s the story between you and Eric?”

“Story?”

“June called you his little sister.”

“Oh. Hee. Well.” Jessica sighed. “It’s not really anything. We both grew up in this building. Eric grew up with his Aunt, I grew up with my family. Eric doesn’t remember stuff well, but we used to go running in traffic, normal child things…”

“Running in traffic?” Anna still had trouble with idioms.

“Oh. A joke. We got up to no good. Anyway, yeah, err. To cut a long story short, both of us moved out, Eric lived out on a farm for a while, and later on, I went to university on the other side of the country, a little early cos I’m brainy. Then we both moved back…”

“Ah.” Anna knew it wasn’t a happy story.

“Eric’s Aunt died, and left him the apartment. My parents got into a car accident, and… and…. my sister… wait. Wait. THAT’S IT!”

“Jessica?”

“Stay here. Don’t move.”

Jessica bolted out of the room, not bothering to close the door. A few minutes later, she rushed back inside. “THAT’S IT! I FOUND IT!”

She had a passport in her hands. Anna had no idea what was going on.

“Oh. Right. My parents died, but my sister, she, um. She went missing. It’s… it’s not important, but, well, it was almost eight years ago, and … well…”

Jessica opened the passport. “See? Her middle name was Anna. It’s perfect.”

Anna still didn’t quite follow.

“Anna. How do you like the idea of being my long, lost, sister?”

“Err..”

“Look. I have to declare her legally dead in a few months. You need a birth certificate, a passport. I’ll work. Really.”

Anna picked up the paperwork.

“Celeste Anna Spellman?”

“She would have been 27. You look about 27.” Jessica explained. “You can use your magic to handle the details, right?”

“I… Erm. Do you think we should ask Eric about this?”

“No.” Jessica folded her arms. “He’d say no, but frankly, I don’t think there’s a better option.”

“It’s just, are you really Ok with this? Pretending to be your dead sister?”

“It’s been a long time, Anna.” Jessica began, “Besides, it’s the sort of thing she’d want. A demon from another world taking over her life. She was a total goth.”

“… but… what about other people?”

“She disappeared as a teenager. Everyone has grown up. You can just claim memory loss. It’s fine.”

Jessica wasn’t going to accept a “no”. As far as she was concerned, this was a win-win deal. Anna got a passport, and she got a very cool older sister in return. She wasn’t joking about Celeste being a goth, either. It was exactly the sort of thing her older sister would have wanted to happen.

“You can handle June and April, right?” Jessica asked. “Magic, right?”

“That gets messy.” Anna explained. “I don’t think Eric would approve.”

“Screw it. Did Eric leave his car keys? We can get you sorted this afternoon. My treat.”

Jessica had an ulterior motive, too.

Eric had been the happiest she’d ever seen him these past two weeks, and it was very obvious as to why. She didn’t want Anna to walk out of his life, or have to go into hiding, and if anything, it would also mean that she’d be kept in the loop.

Jessica was a little bit annoyed that Eric had kept a secret from her. Getting Anna a fake identity would serve as the perfect revenge.

“Come on Anna. Don’t you want to get out of the house? Do things by yourself?”

“I… I do.” Anna was still wary about the plan.

“Then it’s final. Get dressed, get in disguise, and let’s go commit fraud.”

Anna’s phone started ringing.

“Don’t answer it. Wait. I have a better idea.”

“Jess? Is Anna ok?” He expected to hear something like ‘She’s playing video games and she’s still mad at you’

“She’s fine. Better than fine. Now, Eric, you have a lot of explaining to do.”

Jessica didn’t sound angry. She sounded like she was up to no good. That was worrying.

“Um?” Eric wasn’t sure which secret she was talking about. He had his suspicions.

“I can’t believe you hid this from me. My own sister.” Jessica held back a cackle. “Don’t bother explaining, the secret is out.”

“Jess?” Eric’s first thought was that Anna’s spell had backfired, that, or Jessica had tried keeping up with Anna’s energy drink consumption. “Are you ok?”

“Better than ok. I’m taking Celeste down to the passport office, get her documents renewed, sort out the paperwork. Then we’re going out to celebrate the return of my long, lost sister. Celeste Anna Spellman.”

Eric was lost for words.

“Anna, no, fine.” He heard a small struggle and then heard Anna’s voice. “Eric?”

“Anna! Is everything ok? What’s going on!”

“I told Anna the truth.”

“About the .. um…”

“Yes.” He heard another scuffle. “We’ll speak in person about it, Eric.” Jessica had taken back the phone. “But you should probably explain to June and April the truth.”

“Uhhhh. What truth exactly?”

“Weren’t you listening. My long lost sister has returned! How she came back to visit, but ended up staying with you, unsure if i’d accept her back into my life. I eventually worked things out, and, well, we’re one happy family again. You, me, Anna.”

He couldn’t see Jessica’s face, but he knew she was smirking.

“I’m taking your car. We might be a few hours.” Jessica explained. “Talk later, gotta run.”

She hung up before Eric had got a chance to explain his good news. April and June were looking at him with some confusion. June was grinning. She could smell the delicious gossip.

“I think it’s better if they explain it.” Eric knew the questions were incoming. “Are both of you free tonight? It’s a family reunion. Of sorts.”

June called it a day fairly early on, and dragged the other two to the nearby bar. She’d had enough of work for one day, and wanted to ensure she’d be there in time to hear the story.

“Ladies, Eric.” Jessica began. “May I introduce to you, Anna Spellman. My long-lost sister.”

“Wait. Wait. You’re sisters?” April was the first to react.

“Knew something was up.” June declared. “Had my money on something else, mind you.”

Both of them stared at Eric, with a ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ look.

“Don’t be mad. I asked Eric to keep it a secret.” Anna apologised, “It’s a very long story, but, I’m glad there’s a happy ending.”

Jessica took turns telling the story: Anna had run away after the accident, spent some time travelling the world, and had eventually come home to visit, but got cold feet. She went out and got terrifyingly drunk at a party as a result.

“… that’s when Eric found her.” Jessica was grinning. “I can’t believe he kept a secret like this from me. A whole two weeks.”

Jessica knew full well that Eric would understand which secret she meant. “Either way, because of him, Anna got the confidence to tell me the truth.”

“The most unrealistic part of this story, if i’m honest.” June laughed. “Eric can’t keep a secret.”

“I can keep a secret for two weeks, at least.” Eric replied. “I was really hoping I’d get to tell you all, eventually.”

“Anyway, here’s to a family reunion.” April raised her glass. “and a pay raise for Eric too! Two miracles in one day!”

“Wait. What?” Jessica was utterly shocked. “A pay raise?”

“April bent my arm behind my back.” June pouted. “… but it has been a long time coming.”

Eric leaned over and whispered “idiom. not literally”, upon seeing Anna’s confused face.

“So the drinks are on Eric tonight.” Jessica cackled. “For lying to us, and to celebrate his pay raise.”

“Ugh. Alright. Five arm-breakers, coming right up.” He stood up from the table. “Will you give me a hand, Anna?”

Once out of earshot, Eric just stared at Anna. She didn’t say anything. He ordered the drinks, but the bar staff had overheard the announcement, and refused to take his money.

“Can I see it?” Eric asked. “The passport?”

Anna handed it over, but still looked a little guilty.

“This is incredible, Anna. Ha. You don’t need me any more.”

Eric meant it as a positive statement. She didn’t have to hide, she could go her own way, she wasn’t chained to his flat.

“… I mean, Um..” Eric eventually realised how it sounded.

“Can I still stay at yours? I’m… I’m not ready to live with my little sister, just yet.”

He pulled her in for a hug. “Of course, Of course. Now, let’s get these drinks back to the table before they send out a search party.”

June and April escaped early, not wanting to interrupt the family reunion too much. Jessica demanded that the rest of them stay until closing.

She got her way.

“Carry me home, Big Sister.”

Jessica had taken every opportunity to use those words. She’d taken several selfies. She joked about getting matching tattoos. Anna happily played along.

“Um. Thank you, Jessica.” Eric had been waiting to have a more serious conversation.

“S’fine.” Jessica hadn’t. She’d drunk twice as fast as anyone else that evening.

“Are you ok?”

“What’s not to be ok about? My sister’s back!” Jessica laughed. “… and she’s a purple demon from another world. With cute horns and an adorable tail.”

Jessica, now on Anna’s back, seized the opportunity laid in front of her. Anna was not impressed, but decided against throwing Jessica off.

“Ah, the spoils of victory. She’s mine now, Eric.” Jessica was very drunk.

“Fair enough,” Eric laughed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.”

“S’fine. Although the next time, you better let me in from the start. You owe me.”

Jessica slipped, and almost fell onto the ground. “Got you. Come on.” Eric helped her back onto her feet.

A few minutes later, Eric was pouring Jessica onto his sofa. He went to his room and found that Anna had already tucked herself in.

“So, Celeste, is it?”

“Anna.” She corrected him. “Jessica says I can fill in paperwork to get the documents changed, but it’s best to wait a little while.”

“What a day.” Eric pulled over the cover, and made Anna shift over to make space. “… and err, by the way…. Anna…”

“What?”

“I didn’t mean it earlier when I said you don’t need me, well, I did but what I meant was…”

“I know what you meant.” Anna wanted to sleep. “We can chat tomorrow.”

“It’s just, well. I think I need you.” Eric mumbled. “These last two weeks have been the best two weeks of my life.”

“Did Jessica make you say this.”

“Maybe. I just… I just wanted you to know you’re always welcome here.”

“Of course I am. You’re my minion.” Anna pulled him in to a hug. “Now go to bed.”

Truthfully, Eric wanted to say a lot more than just that. Anna knew it too. She just didn’t want things to change, not yet anyway. Neither did Eric.

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