《Evolution of a Nobody》Chapter Ten
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He opened the door and then stepped back, unwilling to enter the bedroom lest he remember he was living with a succubus and an angel. “Come on, I’ll show you how to do some things around here.” Albaer said and opened a small closet, “This is a vacuum cleaner.” He said.
“Looks like a weird weapon.” Raziel said with a queer look at it. “What does it do? I mean if there’s nothing there, what’s there to clean?”
Albaer did a double take at that, raising one finger and opening his mouth, she seemed so serious, he folded the finger back into his hand and let that drop to his side. “Never mind, I’ll show you.”
He plugged the vacuum cleaner into an outlet a few inches above the floor, then wheeled the appliance out to the carpeted living area, and flicked it on.
It roared to life with a sucking whirling nightmare-like noise of the sort that sent dogs and cats running for cover, and evidently set demons and angels alike to flight.
Their wings sprang out and they leaped up and away, bonking their heads into the ceiling and then dropping down to low crouches, Raziel had a leg back and knee bent, one taloned hand up and bent above, one open with talons facing the machine, and her mouth open to bare all her sharpened teeth.
Albaer caught sight of the way Lialah moved after striking her head, she flipped backward, assisted by her wings, and landed squared off against it with one hand on the floor and one fist cocked back.
He froze, and turned it off. Every fiber of his being screamed ‘danger’, their eyes were hard as the stones he was reminded of when looking at them, and they did not move an inch after the noise stopped. “Ohhhhkay… calm down… everybody calm down…” He said in a slow and gentle way, taking his hands off of the appliance.
“Are your heads alright?” He asked with a quiet, friendly smile at them both. His easy manner and concern for their well being saw them calm almost instantly.
“What monstrous… thing is that?” Raziel asked, “Is it dead? Did you… slay it?”
“It’s not alive, it’s just a machine. It sucks dirt and stuff off of carpet to help keep the place clean.” Albaer said while trying not to laugh at their overreactions.
“It’s just a noise.” He explained.
“It hurts.” Lialah said with a shake of her head.
“A lot.” Raziel agreed and glared down at the upright machine.
“Okay… never mind, you don’t have to do that chore, I guess it’s hard on you the way nails on a chalkboard is to me.” He slid the vacuum cleaner away, the gray upright machine with its deflated bag was enduring terrible glares from both women, and if it were alive, it would likely have been begging for Albaer to close the door and hide it again.
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He then went to the kitchenette and they followed behind them with darted glances back to the storage area where the machine stood waiting.
“Ah, other things then, I’ll show you how to use an oven, and make some simple foods, after I show you how to use the internet, if you want to try to pull down recipes and experiment… you’ll have the time for it. I can afford to waste a few ingredients for you to learn… and I guess it would be nice to have a meal made… mom doesn’t have time anymore. Her job as a nurse is too demanding.” Albaer blinked back tears and was grateful he wasn’t facing them directly while standing in front of the oven.
“So… first you do this…” He then proceeded to show them how the coils conducted heat to warm up and cook food in pots and pans, and how to use the oven beneath the stove, explaining how it controlled the temperature, how to set the timer, and other basic things.
Lialah’s eyes lit up when she looked at the shiny black appliance, and she nodded along sagely while he went through what to put in it, such as metal, and what not to, such as plastic.
Her wings fluttered with childlike excitement, and she peppered him with questions. But the most ominous of them was, “Is it really alright if I accidentally ruin some of the food?”
“I’d rather you didn’t ruin it… but if we have to throw some away, it happens.” Albaer shrugged, and the pair responded with unabashed stares.
“You are rich!” They exclaimed.
“No, No I’m not.” Albaer shook his head, “If I were, I’d hire somebody to take care of the assholes who make… life difficult.”
“But you’re talking about wasting food!” Lialah half cried out.
“It’s annoying, but we can just have more delivered, oh and the spice rack is over there, those are-” He never got to finish that sentence.
“Spices?!” They yelped and scrambled in a heap toward the double decker spinning spice holder.
Lialah got there first and began yanking the little glass bottles up to read the labels. “Cinnamon? Salt? Oregano?” She carefully set the bottles down one by one as she read the names off and locked eyes with her sister who was busy doing the same.
“This can’t be real… this can’t be.” Raziel whispered as she set down a container of crushed mint after inhaling the rich smell and sighing as if the demon was breathing in the air of heaven.
“Are spices rare for you back home?” Albaer asked, nonplussed by their excitement.
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Lialah began to put them back with the utmost reverence, like she was touching holy relics. “Very. War happens so often that it’s hard to keep trade going for very long, so you might have ‘a’ local spice and learn to work with that, but so many… this variety wouldn’t even exist in the homes of the highest nobility. Just what you have here would be worth enough gold to live a moderately comfortable life until you died of old age if you were careful with it.”
“Oh. Well, we’ve got good supply chains. So this is cheap here. Experiment with different foods if you want, just don’t burn down my apartment.” Albaer said with a smile, and then glanced at Raziel, “And I’ll get you something to fix the hole your horns punched in my ceiling.”
Raziel reached up and touched the pointed horns, tapping her finger on a tip and coming away with bits of powdery white plaster. “Sorry.” She said sincerely.
That was all fairly simple, but as an extra precaution he went through the other things as well. “Never… ever drink this stuff.” He explained holding up detergent, liquid bleach and other bottles one by one, then stopped, “Wait, it might not actually be poisonous to you two, but it’s lethal to us, or dangerous at least. But I wouldn’t recommend it.”
The refrigerator and freezer combination had Lialah enthralled, she opened and closed the door a dozen times with childlike laughter, “It’s like having fall and winter in boxes! This world does have magic.”
“It’s not magic, you can make something like this by hand if you have the right tools.” Albaer corrected her with a gentle smile and finally, firmly closed the door of the refrigerator again, letting his hand linger there so that she wouldn’t open it another time. She took the hint and let her hand fall at her side.
“I normally handle all the bills so my mom doesn’t have to, but, if you really want to be able to help me, I can show you how to do that.” Albaer added as they followed him out of the kitchen area.
“You’d trust us with your family treasury? You’d trust a demon with it?” Raziel asked.
Albaer’s face went ashen gray as he looked over his shoulder at her, “If you were going to do to me what happened out there, you’d have already done it. It’s easier to trust you because you’re not human.” He turned his face away from them and his voice perked up again.
“Here’s how you do laundry… and do not attack the washing machine or the dryer.” He said as he took them downstairs to where those units lay.
The lights flicked on, and they looked around at the arrays of junk and old things around the basement, but Raziel picked up on one thing at least. “Hey, that’s a fishing pole, isn’t it?” She asked with a cheerful smile and pointed past him to the wall.
“Yes, it is.” Albaer said with a winsome little smile on his face that she couldn’t see from behind him.
“I knew it! It looks different, but when we lived back home, I used to fish with the old orc who tended the grounds. It’s nice for something other than doors to make sense around here.” She rushed forward to take the long black rod off the wall.
“Don’t touch it!” Albaer snapped so sharply that Raziel froze in mid-gesture. He lowered his voice and repeated. “Please. Don’t touch it. It was my father’s.”
“Oh… I’m sorry… I just wanted to see what made it different from… I’m sorry.” Raziel put her hand down, as well as her gaze, and her wings seemed to droop a little.
“It’s fine… you didn’t do anything… it’s just a sensitive subject for me, he used to take me fishing before… before things happened. I just don’t want anyone messing with his things.” Albaer looked over to her and gave her a forgiving look with the corners of his lips turned up just a bit.
“Wash and dry your clothes here… and… I guess we’ll need to get you something you can wear when what you’ve got is being cleaned, we’ll get that taken care of today.” He said while taking them through the motions of washing and drying a load.
“That’s most of it, other than the bills, I’ll show you how to use the TV for more than just video games, and introduce you to the internet, I think you’ll like that one.” Albaer chuckled a little, and the remaining tension melted away.
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