Chapter 21 – Fuel

It wasn’t a walk in the park, close, but not quite. The mud left no traces, but still took considerable effort to walk through. So when Kuno heard it would still take a few hours before they’d take their first break, he thought: ‘they already carried me from the camp to here, what are a few more hours?’

Shamelessly, he fell asleep. He’d gone unconscious after his fight, but the healing he’d received wasn’t purely using up JD’s energy, but also his—actually, mostly his, with JD only guiding Kuno’s power toward the direction it needed to go.

The rabbitmen were aware that a good amount of their countrymen had perished. Well, perished for now. Still, they couldn’t help but feel glad they didn’t have to mine for a couple of days. The march couldn’t touch them, they were made to run, and were annoyed the Empire didn’t utilize their skills appropriately. Above all, they loved the light, and if they were to struggle, wished it’d be under the shining sun.

‘Hey, guys…’ Chompy said. ‘Why don’t we work during the night instead of the day. Maybe we’ll catch more sun that way?’

‘Wouldn’t you get scared of being in a mine in the middle of the night?’ one said.

‘Y-Yeah… I guess…’ Chompy said, with the silence continuing again.

JD knew his subjects were displeased, but since he had lived a much more difficult life—it was hard for him to take their struggles as serious as he needed to. No one is built the same, so any general treatment will leave a good portion dissatisfied. That’s just the way it is. It’s impossible for an emperor to keep everyone happy. But maybe JD could ease their lives just a bit? If it wouldn’t be much of a drag, of course.

JD’s ears sensed the hops of his amphibian underlings. Boing-boing-boing – ‘One-two… eight, okay, good, very good, yes.’ JD thought. It would take a while for the rabbitmen to hear them, after which they quickly arrived – the wide mouthed, multiple green shaded frogmen of their party.

‘Captain!’ a frogman said. ‘We came as soon as we got the message- Woah! You guys caught a human!?’

Happy to see their friends, they exchanged hugs as Hopper informed them: ‘not just any human.’

Bringing them up the speed, the gears in the frogmen’s heads began to turn – the processing would take a while, a shocker of high magnitude. Luckily, this eventful day was about to end without a single casualty. When the sun bid its farewell, the soldiers prepared their tents – a single prayer to God to show their gratitude. The same wishes echoed through the camp – wishes to reunite with their loved ones – wishes to live peaceful lives – wishes to win.

Like a tag team battle, the moment the party went to sleep, Kuno had woken up. The forest was pitch black; the moon hid behind the dense clouds, together with its sparkling companions. All of it somehow brought out the beauty of the blazing campfire. The sparks flew off the crackling logs, almost forcing Kuno to stare at them after leaving the tent he shared with four rabbitmen. Their fur was a bit rough, but Kuno was glad they were in his tent—the body heat was greatly appreciated during this cold night.

On the other side of the campfire, Kuno noticed JD staring at the flame in silence. He had seen this same image the night he stalked them from the trees. Now that he knew JD’s true strength, he wondered if JD knew he had watched them—or maybe he was just too zoned out to notice.

‘Hey,’ Kuno said. ‘Aren’t you going to sleep?’

JD’s eyes were wide open, slowly moving towards Kuno without moving his neck or head at all. ‘JD likes the night… the fire too… and JD is the watch.’

Although Kuno wasn’t near JD’s level, he did pull a fast one on him at the mine. He could’ve killed all the rabbitmen and escaped without ever getting into a fight with JD. ‘I wonder if he thought about that at all… I guess I shouldn’t ask. Gloating doesn’t fit you, Kuno…’

He moved over to JD and casually sat next to him to stare at the fire. He put his palms out to warm them up and moved his spiked boots closer. He should probably switch his pants before he goes to sleep again. JD must’ve blasted him with water while he was unconscious, since the mud and bloodstains were much thinner than they should be. Luckily, he brought two extra pairs from Vermillion village—sadly, the only ones that fit him were female pants. No one had to know that, though.

Few things surprised JD anymore. Few things are a first for him as well. What Kuno just did fit both categories. He didn’t show it physically, still calmly watching the fire, but did ask him:

‘Aren’t you scared of me?’

Kuno didn’t beat around the bush. ‘A little, but there’s no point to- so I try not to have it affect me that much.’

‘No point?’ JD asked, breaking his statue like pose to turn to Kuno. JD saw the flame’s light reflect off Kuno’s face- giving his face an orange hue. The tired look in his eyes got highlighted. Kuno goes where the wind will take him, not one to fight it. But that didn’t mean he had no feeling toward where he’d end up.

‘If you want to kill me—I’ll die,’ he said. ‘That’s a fact. I can try to convince you, but like you told me, you’ve killed a hundred million billion.’

‘Hundred thousand million, actually,’ JD said, as if that was true—but at least he’s consistent.

‘Anyway, I’d just be another addition to those,’ Kuno said.

JD turned to the fire again, giving a sigh. Both the jolly gents felt quite down this waxing moon midnight. ‘JD said you could leave…’ he said. ‘Two pillars said we should kill you, two said we should send you back and try our luck… JD didn’t vote.’

Kuno chuckled. ‘Well thanks, bud. Yes, you did allow me to leave, but if I did, I’d either have to face you again one day or die before I did… I’m only getting out of this mess if the war ends. I thought I was very unlucky to have challenged you, but perhaps it was a blessing in disguise?’

‘JD’s presence is always a blessing…’ he said.

Kuno put his hand on his chest, feeling his skin, ribs, breathing, etc. ‘What a fucking day…’ he thought. ‘I had prepared myself for death but…’ he looked at JD in the corner of his eye. ‘Did you really have to sear my blood vessels!?’

He didn’t blame him, the same way he wouldn’t blame his opponent if he got tea-bagged in a video game. It’s bad mannered, sure, but that’s part of the game. People play games to feel good, and although Kuno wasn’t one to do it often, expressions of dominance feel good, in a primal sense of way.

When his hand moved to approximately his lower left rib, he felt something he hadn’t considered. He moved fast, but only his hand did, thinking: ‘no, please…’

One of Sha’Gult’s spikes had torn a hole in his shirt, the shirt he loved so much. ‘I won a raffle to get the right to buy this thing…’ he thought. If it was anyone else, he probably would have jumped them, but this wasn’t the time- place- or person. Additionally, Kuno knew JD and he were birds of a feather, so explaining the value of his shirt would’ve probably upset him. The thought alone enough for Kuno to forgive him.

‘You should eat something,’ JD said.

‘I can go for a light snack. I think I got some crackers in my bag, do you want some?’ Kuno asked.

‘Something with a lot of energy,’ he added.

Kuno sensed there was something more to the advice. ‘Are you telling me we’re…’

‘Ten minutes,’ JD said. ‘JD will wake up Webby to take watch. We’ll move far to not wake anyone up.’

Kuno tiptoed to his bag to prepare himself something to eat. ‘Oh boy – oh boy – oh boy! Midnight training with the Undead Warlord!’ his heart rapidly fired its beats. He knew this wouldn’t only be fun, but that there also was a lot of danger connected to it. ‘JD is… JD… and he can heal me… I’m gonna get blown to pieces and get resurrected again, aren’t I!? Maybe this wasn’t a good idea!’

With a magical light emanating from JD’s torso, they walked the otherwise dark forest. With every step they took, they flattened the grass as the dew splashed on each side. They had been walking for a few minutes. If it was anyone but Kuno in this situation, they might’ve thought JD had a change of mind and was about to finish what he started.

But Kuno was confident enough to keep his heart rate in check. When they approached a semi-open area in the woods, Kuno already knew JD would pick this spot. He wasn’t sure if JD already knew this forest by heart—or that it just called to him, but they were here, and ready.

‘Take your pants off,’ JD said before turning around.

‘Already two steps ahead of you,’ Kuno said after JD saw he was already naked from below. He stretched his legs and shook his arms, with JD staring at him, deep in thought.

‘Kuno, give me your best Dung Cannon,’ JD said, arms low, posture neutral.

It was a good thing Kuno knew JD’s strength; he had nothing holding him back now. Even if he gave him everything he got, even if he somehow managed to produce something he never had yet, it would at most scratch JD.

He aimed at JD from in between his legs. He had all the time, so he summoned all the strength he had, calmly charging his shot, manifesting the feces in his intestines. ‘This is the baseline. Give him everything and remember the result—it’s all about progress; the essence of leveling.’

He felt the expansion and blasted his creation upon the peak of pressure. ‘Dung Cannon!’ he shouted, the best he’d made yet—it felt denser, yet still faster. ‘This is a nice one!’ he thought.

JD slapped the cannon ball away with the back of his hand. ‘QUAHAHA! Wrong on so many levels!’ he said.

Kuno let his shoulders hang. ‘What a surprise,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how to make it stronger…’

‘Your technique is wrong, but before JD gets to that, there’s something else.’

He walked up to Kuno and kicked him in the ass, causing him to fall forward. His face splashed on the soft earth under the grass. ‘Oi!’ he said, standing back up. ‘What the hell, man!?’

When he faced JD again, he felt his cheeks (top ones) get squished by JD’s big hands. Mere inches were between them, with Kuno seeing the sliver of white JD’s eyes showed. ‘You’re a happy little boy. There’s no place on the battlefield for you,’ JD said.

‘W-What are you talking about!?’ Kuno said, trying to get him off of him, but failing to do so.

‘JD’s talking about rage, little Shitman. You’ve got too little of it!’

Kuno clenched his jaw. ‘Nah-uh! I rage all the time! I hate losing so much I-I… punched my wall once!’

Looking deep into his eyes, JD said:

‘Can you compare it to my wrath?’

He felt JD’s palms squish his face tighter. ‘Of course not! But you’re a different person! I’m not as hateful as you are!’ Kuno said.

JD let go of him and took a step back, but didn’t break eye-contact. ‘I was molded into this… There was a time I was something else, something different, long ago. But this is what I had to become in order for others not to suffer like I did. Hinges are a hinderance, Kuno. If you want to grow, you need to fuel your power through your emotions—you need to release the restraints on your feelings.’

Kuno believed him. He believed JD wasn’t lying, but wasn’t sure that what he was telling was right. ‘Is he telling me to lose my mind…?’ he thought.

‘Anger is a weapon,’ JD said. ‘Wield it and the world shall tremble. That’s why the emperor of Soji is a roosterman!’ he said, surprising Kuno with the, to him, unrelated information.

He laughed. ‘Wait, what? What does that have to do with anything?’

‘Pfff,’ JD blew through his lips, splashes of saliva hitting Kuno’s face. ‘Everyone knows roosters hate everyone and everything! That’s why he’s the emperor.’

‘…’

JD saw Kuno didn’t follow, so he hit himself on the forehead. ‘JD forgot humans are slow! Okay, listen. If JD was emperor, all filthy geese on this planet would die within 17 hours, 44 minutes and 23 seconds—JD calculated many times-- it’s correct for now. People would be mad if that happened, because people are not smart enough to figure out geese are a scourge upon our realm! But roostermen hate everyone, even other roostermen, so no bias, so he’s a fair emperor.’

Kuno didn’t get it at first, but a smile grew on his face as he scratched the back of his head. ‘Hey, in a weird way, that kinda makes sense!’

‘QUAHA! You’re acting like you get it to not look stupid!’ JD said. ‘Anyway, lesson one is about hate. So use your hate when attacking me. And If you can’t…’

JD extended his arm in the pose that was burned into Kuno’s mind. He saw a dark blotch grow above JD’s shoulder as whispers haunted his mind. ‘Sha-Sha-Sha-Gult-Gult-Gult.’

‘If you can’t, I’ll give you a reason.’