《A Boy’s Simple Ambition》Request for Feedback!
Advertisement
Hello!
First thank you very, very, very much for reading this story. I hope that you have/do enjoy it and that it hasn't been too difficult to follow. This is my first web novel and I have learned a lot over the last 100k words, both about my own skills, web novels in general, and world building. In retrospect it seems this web novel is what could be considered a first or rough draft of a story. While I have tried to mitigate glaring mistakes regarding grammar and spelling I know there are a lot of them and that in its current form this story is faaaar from acceptable.
I had always planned on taking this story from web novel to published (self or, if I was lucky, professionally) book/ebook so I knew I would be going back and doing edits and combining the smaller "chapters" (basically parts) here into longer traditional chapters. While I have started doing the latter I have not begun the editing step. It was during thinking about the edits, recent world building revelations, and being able to better define a few concepts in Nelumexa that I come across a few questions I had hoped you would answer. The fact that I'm also nearing the end of this first arc/story is also playing a major role in this post.
I feel that the story as it is doesn't flow as well as it could and also leaves a lot to be desired about world knowledge that I feel should be in a "beginning book" in a series.
I know there are more people who just read this story than those that comment. To those that have already commented, thank you! To those that have just been reading, also thank you! To both of you, in addition to thank you can I ask that you reply to this post with some answers to my below questions? Or perhaps with questions of your own? Your help would be greatly appreciated!
Advertisement
Would you like to see me post the revised/edited chapters (second draft) on this site as I complete them? As I edit I may make some changes or clarifications, though the overall story would remain the same so I'm not sure if that would just be boring for a reader. Would you be interested in/feel it would be ok/find it exciting if I were to go back and, using the first draft posted here, create a new story that uses a different setting/perspective that provides more information on the world, while highlighting the events of this first/rough draft as examples/story line hooks/plots to provide more clarification?
Again thank you and I hope to hear from some of you! I'll add a poll in case you just want to reply that way :)
Advertisement
- In Serial345 Chapters
Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
Following a brutal and tortured death, a former assassin, known only by his codename Kuro, is given the opportunity to reincarnate in another world, a world with magic and monsters. Armed with an unrivaled healing factor and an inhumane pain threshold, Kuro opts to go for a reckless direct approach in this world instead of a stealthy and cautious one, and as a result, slowly gains attention bit by bit.
8 1795 - In Serial9 Chapters
Profit Margin
Seeking Purpose in his life one Man escapes into Virtual Reality.But his new life may end up dragging him into a price war between the Games greatest Merchants.
8 90 - In Serial9 Chapters
The Gambit of the Gods
Tony ain't nobody's bitch. Or at least he wasn't in Downtown Las Vegas where he worked for people doing things that aren't legal in any sense of the word. Some people would call him a 'thug' or a 'goon', but Tony always preferred the term enforcer. So when he wakes up in the middle of a forest and doesn't recall anything from the night before he figured he's run out of luck. Always was going to happen it's Vegas after all. He was very wrong. He's been chosen to be the 'Pathfinder' whatever that means in some game for the god's amusement. He's not amused. He's nobody's bitch not even a god's.
8 159 - In Serial56 Chapters
ODHM: Holst Curio and Convenience
Come On Down to Holst Curio and Convenience! We’re Located On XXXX, Off the Corner of XXXX! Whether You’re Just Shopping For Your Weekly Necessaries! Whether You’re Looking For A Nice Stiff Drink, Or A Delectable Bite to Eat! Whether Your Sick/Injured And Are In Need of Affordable and Top-tier Medicinal Relief!Whether You’ve Gotten In Trouble With the Boss And Need A Way To Fix It Quick! Whether You’ve Got Yourself A Pest Problem And Need The Gear To Get Rid Of Them! Whether You’ve Got A Big Project Coming Up And Just Can’t Quite Find The Needed Materials!Whether You’re Looking For That Perfect Gift! We’ve Got You Covered! With Our Affordable Prices And Industry-Topping/Industry-Toppeling Quality Goods And Services, When You Shop Holst You Won’t Regret It! All Local Legal Tenders Accepted Though Actual Value And Worth Of Legal Tenders May Vary. We Also Accept Barter, Trade, and The Universal Currency Of Time! ************************************************************************************************************* Meet Ellis Holst. The owner and co-proprietor of Holst Convenience. Just your average, Ordinary, Dimension Hopping, Merchant. Ellis is a normal guy...all things considered. He hasn’t had the easiest life thanks to his complicated relationship with his family, and the results of a very unfortunate prank that he tries not to think too much about these days. He was once the designated villain for countless timelines and realities, but that’s over now. He’s managed to finally pull himself together and break free from the self-destructive cycles that he’d been quite literally enslaved to. Now he’s taking things easy, trying his best to live a more peaceful, more positive life. He’s started a store. He’s picked up some nice hobbies. He’s inadvertently found himself trying to reconcile with his mother, one of the few members of his family that don’t suck, despite her unintentionally being the source of all his problems with the rest of his clan. He even got married. Ellis is doing pretty okay for himself. The trick will be keeping things that way. ************************************************************************************************************* Generally(?) Updates Weekly Posted only on Scribble Hub and Royal Road
8 172 - In Serial34 Chapters
Descendants of a Dead Earth
In the future, Man has traveled the Cosmos. In the future, Man has discovered many other races. In the future...Man has no home. 200 years after the great war that destroyed Earth, humanity struggles to survive; fractured, divided, wanted by no one. Until Maggie, of the Tinker Clan, makes a discovery, setting in motion a chain of events that could change everything.
8 182 - In Serial46 Chapters
Let's Travel || Tokyo Revengers
What will happen if our tokyo revengers characters travel to the new world that they were know as Fictional men?. And of course our MC will be a certain simp for all of them. This is just a work of fiction. I'm sorry if the characters are not acting like they did in anime or manga. This is the first fanfic and first story I'll make since they inspired me so much. I'm also gonna add some crossovers from... Secret for now. Tokyo revengers characters aren't mine. They belong to our serial killer Ken Wakui lol.#1 Manjirou - April 24/22#1 xreader - May 5/22#1 Angry - July 6/22#1 Travel - July 13/22
8 116

