《A Boy’s Simple Ambition》Request for Feedback!
Advertisement
Hello!
First thank you very, very, very much for reading this story. I hope that you have/do enjoy it and that it hasn't been too difficult to follow. This is my first web novel and I have learned a lot over the last 100k words, both about my own skills, web novels in general, and world building. In retrospect it seems this web novel is what could be considered a first or rough draft of a story. While I have tried to mitigate glaring mistakes regarding grammar and spelling I know there are a lot of them and that in its current form this story is faaaar from acceptable.
I had always planned on taking this story from web novel to published (self or, if I was lucky, professionally) book/ebook so I knew I would be going back and doing edits and combining the smaller "chapters" (basically parts) here into longer traditional chapters. While I have started doing the latter I have not begun the editing step. It was during thinking about the edits, recent world building revelations, and being able to better define a few concepts in Nelumexa that I come across a few questions I had hoped you would answer. The fact that I'm also nearing the end of this first arc/story is also playing a major role in this post.
I feel that the story as it is doesn't flow as well as it could and also leaves a lot to be desired about world knowledge that I feel should be in a "beginning book" in a series.
I know there are more people who just read this story than those that comment. To those that have already commented, thank you! To those that have just been reading, also thank you! To both of you, in addition to thank you can I ask that you reply to this post with some answers to my below questions? Or perhaps with questions of your own? Your help would be greatly appreciated!
Advertisement
Would you like to see me post the revised/edited chapters (second draft) on this site as I complete them? As I edit I may make some changes or clarifications, though the overall story would remain the same so I'm not sure if that would just be boring for a reader. Would you be interested in/feel it would be ok/find it exciting if I were to go back and, using the first draft posted here, create a new story that uses a different setting/perspective that provides more information on the world, while highlighting the events of this first/rough draft as examples/story line hooks/plots to provide more clarification?
Again thank you and I hope to hear from some of you! I'll add a poll in case you just want to reply that way :)
Advertisement
- In Serial6 Chapters
Ninetoes: The Villain Chronicle - LitRPG
What if an NPC dismissed with contempt by the players of your role-playing game was to become an adventurer? Ninetoes is a wizard, which is unusual for a hobgoblin, and more unusual still, he’s no longer an NPC. The world of Adrenon is a game world and a twist of fate has made Ninetoes an Adventurer. With this new status comes access to power, magic and skills that his kind can rarely attain, but more, it is a chance to grow and become the centre of his own story. In his first quest, among the ancient ruins of Kavralach, Ninetoes faces danger and intrigue. Failure will mean the destruction of his home and his people, for whom he now has the potential to become their champion. Ninetoes must master the magic system of the game, advance as rapidly as he can, and find friends. For a wizard alone is vulnerable. If he can prevail, the hobgoblin Adventurer might someday become the hero he needs to be.
8 107 - In Serial9 Chapters
Twins of Black and White (Pokemon Fanfic)
You know the drill. Truck-Kun decided that another person needed to die. This lucky, or unlucky person depending on how you look at it, was sent to the world of pokemon. They were born on the same day and in the same village as the future champion of the Sinnoh region. Unfortunately, they have no memories of this until they catch their first pokemon. This means that the MC gets to be childhood friends with the (in my opinion) most powerful of all the pokemon champions. This is a story about two friends having a journey to take on the Pokemon League together as they adventure and catch pokemon in this magical world.
8 123 - In Serial28 Chapters
High school life in a world where everyone has superpowers
So, um... how do I explain this simply? Okay, so... There's a girl, she's er... She's in high school, and, um... She has a superpower that mutes things? Also she lives? Yeah, sorry. The concept's too confusing isn't it? Warning: The stuff below is technically correct, but this fiction, with my other, is now on the failed pledge list. Shocking how a lack of updates for more than half a year actually meant something... Sorry for the delay, still not really up to writing for this series as of now (14/03/18 - remember I'm english, so correct) but I'm still trying to get into writing... Cover is thanks to Zenlith (WriTE's Founding Member). This fiction is signed under the 'The Pledge'... Some internet message in a forum about not dropping or giving a rushed ending in their fiction, otherwise meet the wrath of letting RRL mod Vocaloid have 'fun' with the fiction's description. So mainly for the sake of my fiction due to said wrath, I'll see this fiction through. Updates: up in the air... hopefully the day after this is edited, but we all have dreams. Warning for mild profanity, but it shouldn't happen too much for the innocent out there so don't take the warning to heart.
8 173 - In Serial12 Chapters
Starsign Lord
In a world that is governed by starsigns, Rare individuals who are born have the chance of awakening super-powers and becoming mages or warriors. The abilities they will gain will be predetermined by their Starsign.Fraus is a young man with no knowledge of the world. He finds himself in this world and will do everything to survive and reach the top of the world. When all of this is going on, Fraus will become aware of his own hidden characteristic specialties. He hid in the depths of his soul, waiting for the power to come to him.
8 154 - In Serial109 Chapters
Alternate Dreams
People always go to sleep. Everyone everywhere and anywhere must sleep. Generally we welcome sleep as a time to rest and relax, but what if that changes?. This is a story about 4 young adults whom dont remember how they got together in a supernatural cavern after falling asleep in their homes. Follow them as they hope to emerge from their unexpected circumstances while wondering what could have possiblly taken them there. *Authors Note: Feel free to give me pointers, this is my first time trying to write and I'm doing it in hopes that practice indeed does make make perfect. If your going to say bad things about it please say it in a constructive and professional manner. I'll try to get a chapter out every week around Friday-Saturday.
8 164 - In Serial32 Chapters
Kita Shinsuke
You were always just the third Miya child until... he came. I do come back and read comments that you send and please don't write any mean or rude comments to my writing or to other people's comments because I will either address it or delete the comment. Hopefully it's getting better and my spelling is shit. I do not know what it is like to have cuts or how to deal with them. Sorry if this is inaccurate. Also I do not own any of these characters or the anime. IM ALWAYS READING WHAT YOU SAY!!!Thanks so over 52k reads!! WTF TYSM!!!!
8 195

